For all of our Texas members:D

Things I learned in Texas

Armadillos sleep in the middle of the road with all four feet in the air.

There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 live in Texas.

There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 live in Texas, plus a few no one has ever seen before.

Raccoons will test your melon crop, and let you know when they are ripe.

If it grows, it
will stick you. If it crawls, it will bite you!

Nothing will kill a mesquite tree.

There are valid reasons some people put razor wire around their
house.


A tractor is NOT an all terrain vehicle. They do get stuck.



The wind blows at 90 mph from Oct 2 till June 25; then it stops totally until October 2.



Onced and twiced are words.



Coldbeer is one word.



People actually grow and eat okra.



Green grass DOES burn.



When you live in the
country you don't have to buy a dog. City people drop them off at your front gate in the middle of the night.


The sound of coyotes howling at night only sounds good for the first few weeks.



When a buzzard sits on the fence and stares at you, it's time to see a doctor.


Fix-in-to is one word.



There ain't no such thing as "lunch". There is only breakfast, dinner and then there's supper.



"Sweetened ice tea" is appropriate for all meals, and you start drinking it when you are two.



"Backwards and forwards" means I know everything about you.



"Jeet?" is actually a phrase meaning, "Did you eat?"



You don't have to wear a watch because it doesn't matter what time it is. You work until you're done, or it's too dark to see.



You measure distance in minutes or hours.



You can switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day.



Stores don't have bags. They have sacks.



You see cars with the engine running in the Wal-mart parking lot with no one in them, no matter what time of the year.



All the
festivals across the state are named after a fruit or a vegetable.


You install security lights on your house and garage, and leave both unlocked.



You carry jumper cables for your own car.


You know what "cow tipping" and "snipe hunting" are.



You only have four spices in your kitchen: Salt, Pepper, Ketchup, and Tabasco.



You think everyone from north of Dallas has an accent.



The local papers cover national and international news on one page, but require six pages to cover Friday night high school football.



The first day of deer season is a state holiday.



You know which leaves make good
toilet paper.


You find 100 degrees a "tad" warm.



The four seasons are: Almost summer, summer, still summer and Christmas.



You know whether another
Texan is from East, West, North, or South Texas as soon as he opens his mouth.


Going to Wal-mart is a favorite past-time known as "goin Wal-Martin" or "off to Wally-world."



You describe the first cool snap (below 70 degrees) as good chili-eatin' weather.


A carbonated soft drink isn't a soda, cola, or pop....It's a Coke regardless of brand or flavor.



Texans understand these jokes. If you do too, forward them to your friends from Texas. If you don't just come and stay awhile.






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I've seen this one before, but I love it each time I read it.

Next to California, Texas is my favorite state! The people are among the friendliest and most hospitable I've met from any state. I was stationed in San Angelo for a while while I was in the military, and my wife's cousins live in Garland and also up by Lake Texoma.

I love the state and its people! :)

I lived in texas for 3 years and loved it. people are so nice there. but yeah. most of that stuff goes for louisiana too :p

:lol: :D

i lived in texas for a year and loved it i still have friends that live there

Howdy ya'll, I'm fixin' to laugh my head off after reading this. :lol:

The first day of deer season is a state holiday.

That's actually true up here in North Dakota too. Some years, they have even cancelled school to let people have time to go deer-hunting. One thing is for sure, you can definitely count on a high number of absences on the first day of deer season. :lol:

Those are some pretty hilarious observations... :lol:

:lol: that's funny. i'm from texas so i can relate to all those jokes.

You measure distance in minutes or hours.

You can switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day.

Stores don't have bags. They have sacks.

You carry jumper cables for your own car.


You know what "cow tipping" is.

The local papers cover national and international news on one page, but require six pages to cover Friday night high school football.



Those apply here too.

And now I'm scared.

HAHA!!! I love it!!! :lol:

Those apply here too.

And now I'm scared.

Same for Michigan!:lol:

Yep, some of that is true. :lol:

"Sweetened ice tea" is appropriate for all meals, and you start drinking it when you are two.



I agree. How can someone not like sweet tea?

goes for South Carolina too...

Sweet Ice Tea... God I love it!!

:lol:

:rotflmao: ALOT apply, espacailly the summer one

I was laughing the entire time reading this, and now I’m fixinto send this to my family :lol:

Armadillos sleep in the middle of the road with all four feet in the air.
Totally true. I’ve never seen one awake on the highway before, they are all asleep.

Nothing will kill a mesquite tree.
Also totally true, we have done EVERYTHING to kill them including chopping them down, but they just keep coming back.

A tractor is NOT an all terrain vehicle. They do get stuck.
:rotflmao: Yes they do!

People actually grow and eat okra.
Yeah and????? :confused:

Green grass DOES burn.
Yes especially when you throw a bunch of pack of black cats into a bonfire :D

When you live in the country you don't have to buy a dog. City people drop them off at your front gate in the middle of the night.
LOL You don’t have to live in the country for that to happen, that happens to us all the time.

The sound of coyotes howling at night only sounds good for the first few weeks.
And then you get used to it and don’t hear it anymore except for when you have visitors who keep pointing it out to you.

Fix-in-to is one word.
Yes it is :lol:

There ain't no such thing as "lunch". There is only breakfast, dinner and then there's supper.
lol We SOMETIME call it lunch.

"Sweetened ice tea" is appropriate for all meals, and you start drinking it when you are two.
Yup, it’s the only way to drink tea.

"Backwards and forwards" means I know everything about you.
Yes it does. So does “I’ve known your entire family all of my life”

"Jeet?" is actually a phrase meaning, "Did you eat?"
Most commonly used as jeetyet (Did you eat yet?)

You measure distance in minutes or hours.
Well, lets see…go down the caliche road about 30 minutes then make a right and go about 15 seconds and turn left onto a dirt road and follow that one for 30 minutes, and that’ll bring ya to the highway!

You can switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day.
And back to heat at night.

You see cars with the engine running in the Wal-mart parking lot with no one in them, no matter what time of the year.
It’ll take too long for the A/C to get cool again!

All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit or a vegetable.
Not all of them..you have the watermelon oh wait no how about the tomato, oh no wait…what about…ah hell, I guess they are!

You install security lights on your house and garage, and leave both unlocked.
You use the security lights so you can see your neighbors when they come over. What else are they used for?

You carry jumper cables for your own car.
Doesn’t everybody? :confused:

You know what "cow tipping" and "snipe hunting" are.
:rotflmao: Yup, been there and done that. I’ve even led a few snipe hunting trips. :lol: :cow:

You only have four spices in your kitchen: Salt, Pepper, Ketchup, and Tabasco.
Five, you forgot BBQ!

You think everyone from north of Dallas has an accent.
They do!

The local papers cover national and international news on one page, but require six pages to cover Friday night high school football.
SIX PAGES????? You’ve got to be kidding! We don’t use six pages, we have an entire paper for that! You think Friday night Football can actually be kept to only 6 pages???

The first day of deer season is a state holiday.
Yeah and?

You find 100 degrees a "tad" warm.
Only a tad. :cool:

You know whether another Texan is from East, West, North, or South Texas as soon as he opens his mouth.
Can’t everybody tell?

You describe the first cool snap (below 70 degrees) as good chili-eatin' weather.
Pull out the crock pot!

A carbonated soft drink isn't a soda, cola, or pop....It's a Coke regardless of brand or flavor.
Actually we refer to them as coke not Coke. Coke is Coca Cola, coke is generic for all.


This was great!!!

D

Texas adjectives include "bigole" and "little-bitty." :D

goes for South Carolina too...

Sweet Ice Tea... God I love it!!

Mint Jubilee, anyone? Definitely a Texan's favorite drink.
How's about Fried Catfish and Hush-Puppies?
Rocky Mountain Oysters, anyone? Mmmmm! A definite Texas favorite.

And now, for the ultimate favorite Texas traditional dishes, especially from the areas between Houston and Beaumont. Rat meat entres. Rats in a cream sauce, rat flambe'. Rat necrom with bone-meal gravy. Lemon rat in wild-rice. Rat ragu with powdered deer p***s. Now that's some Deep East Texas swamp-eatin.

Cause in lightly populated west Texas counties, you can legally drive this speed limit: (The highest speed limit sign I've seen before was 75 MPH)

They actually JUST went up to 80. Now you have to understand, the area that is 80, THERE IS NOTHING AROUND for miles and miles. It is just a stetch of the road...a very LONG stretch.

D

These are great, Penny!! I was born and raised in Texas and yeah, quite a few of those are true. :lol:

Sweet tea is the best.

Distance is measured in minutes and hours.

You can also pick out accents from different parts of the state.

"Fixin' to" <-- no idea why it's said, but it is. :blush: :lol:

Summer, still summer and Christmas.. yep. :lol:

Raccoons will test your watermelon! Those suckers get into everything.

If you see an armadillo in the middle or side of the road and he's on his back, be sure to stick a can of Coors between his paws. People used to do that all the time. :lol:

SIX PAGES????? You’ve got to be kidding! We don’t use six pages, we have an entire paper for that! You think Friday night Football can actually be kept to only 6 pages???

It's practically a religion down here, that's for sure. :lol: Football rules!!

Despite stereotypes, Texas isn't all flat and boring, afterall. (see folowing pics.)

http://www.terragalleria.com/images/np-desert/guma1185.jpeg
http://www.terragalleria.com/images/np-desert/guma1193.jpeg
http://www.terragalleria.com/images/np-desert/guma1207.jpeg
These are in one National Park within the western parts of Texas.

And here's more from the western parts of Texas:
http://www.terragalleria.com/images/np-desert/bibe1417.jpeg
http://www.terragalleria.com/images/np-desert/bibe5928.jpeg

And if you think Texas is all endless windswept desert plains and tumbleweeds and endless longhorn cattle ranches, think again. These next few pics are taken from the Eastern parts of Texas.
http://www.caddooutback.com/Outback4.JPG
That is in Caddo Lake in far east Texas, BTW.

And as far as Texas weather goes, in winter, South Texas can still be blazing hot while the Texas Panhandle will be cold, freezing, and buried under 1= feet of snow for days. And in East Texas, it is very humid while West Texas is very dry. Texas has everything outlanders would be very surprised to find in Texas. Texas has beaches to sunbathe, fish and surf, swamps and deep southern-style pine forests(I call them the great Carolina Pine Forest, BTW). Texas has canyons, hilly country, great rivers, deserts, mountains, valleys, plains, high plateaus, and wooded regions. And the people of Texas are just as varied, too. You have Cowboys in the western, southern, central and panhandle regions, Southerners and Hillbilly types in the Eastern pine forested parts of Texas, City Slickers and Suburbanites in the 10 great cities and their metros of Texas, and Beach dwellers and Beach Bums along the beaches of the Gulf seas.:D

Despite stereotypes, Texas isn't all flat and boring, afterall. (see folowing pics.)

You only say that because you haven't been to MY neck of the woods. :lol:

THe south is FLAT. You can see for MILES on end down here driving. But the more north you go, the hills start appearing then growing. :)

D

You only say that because you haven't been to MY neck of the woods. :lol:

THe south is FLAT. You can see for MILES on end down here driving. But the more north you go, the hills start appearing then growing. :)

D

LOL!

Yep. I forgot to put more pics on this thread. Damn, how could I have forgotten about the citrus growing Rio Grande Valley areas. Yes, I've never been any farther south than Corpus Christie. :D

You know what surprised me about Texas? They have culture. I thought yogurt had more culture! Once there was a ballet story on "60 Minutes" in which the show interviewed Lauren Anderson of the Houston Ballet, and she was described as the first black female prinicpal dancer of a major ballet company. I thought, "Wow! That's astonishing. . . . Houston has a ballet?!?" :lol: :rofl:

These were so funny.Don't think it's all country.Here is a beautiful pic of downtown Austin.Texas is the best state ever.

These were so funny.Don't think it's all country.Here is a beautiful pic of downtown Austin.Texas is the best state ever.

Austin is a cool city, but that statement is a bit of a stretch. I'd put Texas in the Top 50 Best States, though.

Nothing will kill a mesquite tree.

Hell yeah! Those things are tough! The more you pick at 'em the worse they get! Best to leave them be...



You carry jumper cables for your own car.
Just common sense....



You know which leaves make good
toilet paper.
I've used one myself. Can't recall the name of the plant for the life of me. But it's fuzzy and actually more comfortable than your run-of-the-mill toilet paper!



The four seasons are: Almost summer, summer, still summer and Christmas.
Yup. I don't do cold. Even Texas cold makes my crabby.


You describe the first cool snap (below 70 degrees) as good chili-eatin' weather.
Crabby

These were so funny.Don't think it's all country.Here is a beautiful pic of downtown Austin.Texas is the best state ever.


That's my city! Ah.... Although, on the whole, I don't really like Texas. Been all around the great state, but Austin's the only place I'd live.

When a Texas cop asks for your ID, don't reach in your purse to get it.
We went on vacation to Texas 6 years ago & got stopped for not wearing our
seatbelts. The cop asked for my ID/DL and when I reached into my purse to get it for him, he jumped back & started to pull his gun. I had to hold my hands up in the air and let him search my purse. My husband & son just set there stunned. This happened on I-10 near Beaumont. He didn't give me a ticket but he scared me to death and there is no way I will ever step foot in Texas again.

When a Texas cop asks for your ID, don't reach in your purse to get it.
We went on vacation to Texas 6 years ago & got stopped for not wearing our
seatbelts. The cop asked for my ID/DL and when I reached into my purse to get it for him, he jumped back & started to pull his gun. I had to hold my hands up in the air and let him search my purse. My husband & son just set there stunned. This happened on I-10 near Beaumont. He didn't give me a ticket but he scared me to death and there is no way I will ever step foot in Texas again.
Aw You shouldn't just forget the whole state just because of something that happened in a small hick town.Go to a bigger nicer city like Houston,Austin, or Dallas.

Aw You shouldn't just forget the whole state just because of something that happened in a small hick town.Go to a bigger nicer city like Houston,Austin, or Dallas.
Yeah

When a Texas cop asks for your ID, don't reach in your purse to get it.
We went on vacation to Texas 6 years ago & got stopped for not wearing our
seatbelts. The cop asked for my ID/DL and when I reached into my purse to get it for him, he jumped back & started to pull his gun. I had to hold my hands up in the air and let him search my purse. My husband & son just set there stunned. This happened on I-10 near Beaumont. He didn't give me a ticket but he scared me to death and there is no way I will ever step foot in Texas again.


They're crazy down there in the east... is true...

They're crazy down there in the east... is true...

When you have a bad experience with a place, you're not to keen on going back and possibly having a repeat performance. The lady at the resort where
we stayed said that the police liked to stop out of state vehicles. It really shook me up, I was only going to hand him my license, which he had asked for. There was no reason for him to jump back and almost pull his gun out. I have never had anything like that happen to me before. So you can understand my reluctance to revisit Texas. Are most of the police officiers in Texas like that?

When you have a bad experience with a place, you're not to keen on going back and possibly having a repeat performance. The lady at the resort where
we stayed said that the police liked to stop out of state vehicles. It really shook me up, I was only going to hand him my license, which he had asked for. There was no reason for him to jump back and almost pull his gun out. I have never had anything like that happen to me before. So you can understand my reluctance to revisit Texas. Are most of the police officiers in Texas like that?

Most of them are decent, I think. I would suppose that you could find that kind of behavior just about anywhere. But I can completely understand how that could leave a bad taste in your mouth.

I know that a lot of the smaller counties get much of their revenue from pulling over people on the highway. So a very minor infraction would lead to a fine. But as for being jumpy, perhaps he was just trying to ease the boredom?

I don't know. It's unnerving to get pulled over under the best of circumstances...

They're crazy down there in the east... is true...

Only to bleeding heart libs......


Kinda like that "Pace Picante" commercial......"A LIB!!!!!! Get A Rope!!":lol: