For those who have lost loved ones - do you go to the cemetery? I've found that there are people who find great comfort in going, and others who can't handle it.

I don't go. I tried a few times, but it was too much to take. My father, on the other hand, used to visit my sister's grave once a week.

My husband visits his family's graves on their birthdays, Memorial Day, etc. I can go to his family's graves, but not my own family's.

I try to go. I like to clean around the headstones and make it very beautiful. I don't know, but if i don't visit, I feel like my loved ones will think I don't care. I know that is not true, but just something abt it, I need to go. Maybe not every week, but every so often.

I go to my Mothers grave at least once a year, usually on Memorial day. I didn't make it this year but I might go up for Veterans day. I visit my Grand Parents graves whenever I'm in town. Sometimes its hard but I just feel like it's something I have to do. My youngest sister has never visited my Mom's grave. She hasn't been to the cementary since the funeral. I think it's just to hard on her.

we usually go to my grandparent's graves a few times a year.

I really have no graves to visit, since a lot of my relatives were creamated.

My sister died in 1991 at the age of 35. Her two sons were ages 14 and 18. They're both married with children today. The oldest son visits his mother's grave, while the youngest never does.

I'm very close to my nephews and their wives. The wife of the younger son (who never visits) tells me that he cries like a baby over his mother...on her birthday, the anniversary of her death, the holidays, etc.

It's such a personal issue. Some people need to go, while others simply can't handle it. It has nothing to do with loving the deceased any more, or less.

I rarely go, and I suppose I should more often. For one thing, I now live quite a distance from where my parents are buried. But also, there are two other reasons that I don't go to the cemetery--one is that I like to remember my parents from when they were alive and secondly, I believe I will see them again at some point.

I haven't been to my maternal grandparents graves in years. I really should go and visit them though. Their graves are probably a mess of weeds by now. My paternal grandparents were cremated so i have nowhere to visit them. My sister was also cremated, we never even had a funeral for her and never really talked to anyone about it so sometimes it's hard to believe she is really dead even though it's been 15 years. A lot of the time I just like to think she lives in another state or something.
I'd rather just look at pictures and visit them that way because really only their bodies are at the cemetary. Their souls are really somewhere else.

I visit my father once a month. Like Irene said, I feel like the dead will feel like we don't care if we don't visit, even though that's irrational thinking. The first few times I visited his grave were very tough.

I'd rather just look at pictures and visit them that way because really only their bodies are at the cemetary. Their souls are really somewhere else.

That's very true.

I :heart: cemeteries



It's just a comforting place to be for me

It's such a personal issue. Some people need to go, while others simply can't handle it. It has nothing to do with loving the deceased any more, or less.
I couldn't have said it any better. I feel the same way. This is also the reason why I do not like to attend funerals. They traumatize me, and I can't usually cry while I am attending them. So I just remember them and keep them in my heart forever.

I'd rather just look at pictures and visit them that way because really only their bodies are at the cemetary. Their souls are really somewhere else.
I agree as well. I would rather remember people fondly by their photos, their smiles, and keeping them in my heart.

I couldn't have said it any better. I feel the same way. This is also the reason why I do not like to attend funerals. They traumatize me, and I can't usually cry while I am attending them. So I just remember them and keep them in my heart forever.


I agree as well. I would rather remember people fondly by their photos, their smiles, and keeping them in my heart.
I'm just the opposite. I can't even look at old photos anymore or I'll break out crying. I think actually seeing them makes it more real to me.

I'm just the opposite. I can't even look at old photos anymore or I'll break out crying. I think actually seeing them makes it more real to me.
I can't look at family photos anymore either, Sonny. Too painful. :(

yeah, me and will are getting married at the cemetery (in the mosoleum)where one of my friends is, on tuesday.

I will never forget the very first funeral I have ever attended. It was during April or May 1993, and it was this sweet and brave six-year-old girl who passed away from Leukemia. She also had a leg amputated. She knew she was going to die, and she was just sooooo loveable and beautiful inside and out.

Well, I attended her funeral because she lived right in my neighborhood and was next-door neighbors and good friends of a childhood friend of mine. Just seeing this sweet, brave six-year-old girl lying in her coffin dressed in a beautiful dress was just traumatic for me. It felt so unreal knowing I once saw her alive, happy, and breathing.

For weeks and months on end that year, I could NOT sleep. I could not close my eyes, and I kept tossing and turning. Everytime I closed my eyes, I could see this little girl lying in the coffin. It was torture for me.

I have been to a couple of funerals after this one, but I try and avoid them as much as I can. Just seeing people lying so still and not moving really traumatizes me. For me, memories of when they were alive make it more comforting for me.

As far as cemetaries go, I would like to just go to my grandparents' and former ancestors' graves to make sure they are not neglected. You know, to clean the weeds around them. This part would be nice as it is considered housekeeping, in one way.

I haven't been able to bring myself to do that yet. It's about time I do, though.

I don't get to go to the cemetery very often...but when I go, I actually enjoy it...pretty peaceful. If I had the chance, I would go to my cousin's grave...she passed away in 1999, and I haven't been to her grave since about 2001. I never really got a chance to pay my respects after she first died, because I wasn't living here at the time. I miss her dearly...it would give me more closure if I could make it to the cemetery to visit her grave.

My paternal grandpa died almost 10 years ago and is buried in a veterans' cemetery, because he served in the Korean War...That cemetery is pretty out of the way, so I haven't been to his grave in quite a few years.

i visit my mom's grave on special days like her birthday. i don't visit the graves of my friends regularly, they're kind of scattered. i had another one die last week though so i'll probably be visiting his soon.

Only if Im with family but we mostly go on Mermorial Day

I :heart: cemeteries

Me too. Very interesting places.

No one I was exceptionally close to has died. My grandfather we go see a couple times a year. A friend of mine is buried 90 minutes away, so that's a rare visit, as are many of my dad's relatives (including my great grandparents), who are buried 90 minutes the other way.

When my mom died my father use to take us regularly and then after he died I would go and visit my parents and sister on a regular basis, but now I live kind of far from the cemetery so I haven't been in awhile. My other sister was cremated and the rest of my family are buried in other state or countries.

I've lost a lot of people dear to me.

I haven't gone to the cemetery since for most of them.

They aren't there anyway. They are right here, with me.

I only visit haunted cemeteries like this one...

;)

Funny you should ask that, Janice. My Daughter has been wanting to visit a cemetery and see some headstones(well, she's 5 and she's starting to get curious about things like that, I guess), so today while we were visiting my parents I took her to see my Grandparent's grave. She was respectful(she'd better be!;)) during our visit and then she wanted to see some other stones and wanted me to read the names on them, so I did a couple of them. All in all, one of my nicer visits to the cemetery, sharing that with her.

Strange that I should see this post today because today was the first time in
many years for me. But I had to go to the cemetery to get a form filled out for
the Department of Social Services (I'm applying for disability). Anyway, my
mother passed away in February 1979 and my father in December 1983. I had
not visited their graves in many, many years. (It isn't that far, just sort of out
of the way for me.) After all these years, I still think about them (and even
sometimes dream about them). But we were together for over thirty years
and I am grateful for that. I still miss them.

i visit my Papa's grave a couple of times, but it didn't do anything for me, so no, after the funeral, i don't go.

I visited the cemetery this past Memorial Day weekend, to place flowers on the grave of my wonderful Aunt Marilyn, who passed away a year ago this week... :(

I don't visit too often. My dad died a year ago and I have only visited his grave once. I visit him everyday in my thoughts and I have his picture situated where I can see it clearly. I miss him so much!:(

I don't care for cemeteries personally. I know we all have to leave this earth eventually but I would rather remember them in spirit because I know we will rejoin with our loved ones again. It's been 16 years since my mom passed and I only visited her grave once. Of course, I broke down and cried but I realized then that she's not there, just her shell.

2 CORINTHIANS v. 3.--We are confident, I say, and willing rather to be absent from the body, and to be present with the Lord.

I have been to Cemetaries :)

I go and talk to the spirits and all but I havent ever seen any.. (Even at this 1 place deemed haunted)

The best time to visit cemetery is early in the morning as sun start to rise. It give a person such a peaceful feeling :)

I like going to cemeteries. I like reading the headstones. I feel comfort there.

I hear ya Ponytail :)

If you want to clean a headstone, buy a product called, "Wet N Forget."
All you have to do is Wet (spray)it down and forget about it.
In a couple of months it will be clean.

My parents headstone is a "gray granite" and it had turned black over 30 years.
I sprayed "Wet N Forget" and a couple of months, it was gray again.
I did do a second coat, just to make sure it would stay clean looking.

I plan on going to this sometime because it looks interesting... they have "Crypt Sessions" in Brooklyn's Greenwood Cemetery down in the catacombs. The catacombs aren't open to the public except for guided tours. They do classical music with wine/bourbon tasting.

They line the catacombs with candles, carpet the concrete, and set up chairs to make it look like a club.

https://www.musicalamerica.com/news/newsstory.cfm?archived=0&storyID=56161&categoryID=5



Some people have been petitioning to have these events stopped. They say it's disrespectful to the deceased and that the tombs are not meant to be a night club.

Some mourners have also said they were turned off when going to visit the grave of a loved one and coming across a crowd of people celebrating the night life in the cemetery.

I too would hate to go to funerals. In my teens and early 20's a speaker would talk about the love one and I would fall apart in tears. then my parents died and somehow when they passed the pain wasn't as much. Really other people's deaths bothered me more.
Also the services today at someones death are not as sad. I guess less people like to speak. Most services I go to are the grave site and the event is over is 15 minutes. I don't have a chance to cry for the service is so short.
But now as I am approaching 70, loves ones close to me are my age and no one lives forever. Then now you could have the loneness and that can be hard.

I visit cemetarys alot at night...... I like to see if the spirits will communicate with me but sadly none ever do :(

I went and visited a huge one today!!!!!