1) Dont blowdry your already big hair upside down.

2) Dont dance like Lil' Kim in front of people!

3) Dont quote The Facts of life and The Division for hours on end.

4) Dont call your brother a dumb ass infront of your mom.

5) nice girls dont throw helmets.

6) Dont kick people in the back, it might hurt them! (not that thats a bad thing)

7) Dont sing Lady Marmalade aloud in french class.

8) Dont call your best friend a -----

9) Dont puch the smaller than thou. (unless they slap you!)

10) If your gym teachers last mane is murphy... DONT call him mr smurfy!

ANYONE CARE TO ADD????

Don't plow cars through the front window. lmao

lol great start so far...

-dont sing shaggy it wasnt me or ludicres(sp) wicked loud in spanish

-dont have britney spears as ur role model

-dont move to the bronx and put a red sox flag(even though we know the sox are better then the yankees)

-dont dance like madonna in public

-dont throw a bball at ur mom (u proabley wont get the cell phone u want...)

- duck when ur brother(whos on varsity tennis) serves a tennis ball at full force at you

- dont swear in ccd or hebrew school (ive learned my lesson lol)

-dont stare at your crushes butt 2 MUCH!(HE MIGHT TURN AROUND...)

-dont stalk a police man...

I got a couple..

*-* A basic. Gasoline + Fireplace = Boom.

*-* Putting foil against your braces is a biggggg no no. I wonder if Tootie ever experienced that.

*-* Never curse at your teacher and excpect "sorry" to cover it up.

*-* What Would Jesus Do? Jesus wouldn't take a rock and throw it through someones window.

Lol..

- hair is vry flameable(just letting everyone know)

- dont stick a napkin the toaster-oven to get a bagle or anything out because well it will light on fire...

Do your homework (like it or not), or you'll be stuck in your grade for a long time (I haven't experienced that but I know people who have)

Never ever pour boiling water over a buddy's car when it's 15 below zero, then stick hot dogs and beer cans and bologna on the car so they freeze in the water. It hoses up the locks and it does bad things to the paint job. Your buddy won't think it's nearly as funny as you do, either.

Edited to add another really huge no no.

If your buddy leaves his lucky baseball hat at your house, don't hide it from him and convince him you haven't seen it. Furthermore, don't setup an anonymous email account named wheres-my-hat and start emailing him anonymous messages from the hat. Don't pay a homeless man $5 to wear the hat while you take a picture of him in the hat then send the picture to your buddy via email. Also, don't ask your co-worker who is going to Paris for vacation to take the hat with her and take a picture of it at the Eifle Tower. Probably isn't a good idea to send that picture to your buddy either. After all that, if you haven't taken my advice, don't let the game go on for 9 months. He was pretty pissed off when he found out it was me.

[This message has been edited by coily2 (edited 04-23-2001).]

Added to the list:

Dont torture your friends and family by talking about Nancy McKeon, FOl, and The Division.(Like i do)LOL~

------------------
nancysbiggestfan

Nancy and Jo and Jinny
Rules!!

For He sent his only begotten Son that whosoever that believeth on Him might have eternal life.
John 3:16

I got one. Add this to the list.

Dont torture our friends and family by talking about Fol,The Division, and Nancy McKeon.(like i do).LOL

didnt edit it just had to say something.

Sorry bout the double post i did not see it and posted another.

[This message has been edited by nancysbiggestfan (edited 04-23-2001).]

Ummm...

Never, NEVER, spray your friends with cold water even on a really hot day after they've told you not to! LOL! I did that today and they took it from me and sprayed me back! I don't think the teachers were that pleased with me or my friends! http://www.sitcomsonline.com/ubb/wink.gif

Oh, and also: never spray athletic paint onto your leg. It's hard to come out!!

------------------
*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*
"Every day has a little something. Find it!" - Anonymous

Allison: Driving up the Eastland gates give me goosebumps.
Jo: Really? They give me a rash.

The break pedal is on the left, not the right and hope there are no garage doors in the vicinity. Also, hope you father is 2,000 miles away on business and your parents don't take your driving permit you've only had for 2 weeks.

Those chairs that you can buy at Wal-Mart and fold out, known to some as "flippers" (there's another name for them I won't type here!), aren't really receptive to jumping on. They'll buck you off and leave you with some nasty bruises from the concrete floor college dorm rooms are famous for.

My friend pulled this one: Never use a toaster in a dorm room right under the smoke alarm when it expressly says you can't have toasters, and especially don't try iced pop tarts. The smoke alarm will go off!!


I had to add this in: When using an electric mixer for mashed potatos remember to turn off the mixer before taking it out of the bowl.


[This message has been edited by lesliem14 (edited 04-23-2001).]

*Don't try to get a bagel out of the toaster with a fork...without unplugging it first (ya might look like this: http://cwm.ragesofsanity.com/otn/angry/newburn.gif )

*Don't stick your tongue to anything metal outside when it's below zero... http://cwm.ragesofsanity.com/otn/tongue/1zdead.gif

The T

Ok this one is kind of stupied, me and my best friend did this and we thought it was funny at the time but were not to proud of it.

Don't put your Brothers boxers on the mail box for a prank it's a federal offense.

At least we only got cought by my dad.

[This message has been edited by JoPol_wannabe (edited 04-23-2001).]

Never ever leave your coat with a coat check in a club even if its below zero outside. Just save yourself the trouble and put your jackets in the trunk of your car.

------------------
GET OUT OF MY GARAGE!!!

I have another one well actually my brother did this

Never put a potato in someones tail pipe it's not pretty.

DO NOT!!!--------

*Get hammered the night before you have an 8 hour work day.
*Go inside a Kosher butcher shop and ask for pork chops.
*Stand up in the back of a truck going 85.
*Bet your hair on the Flyers.
*Start your car with your cat sleeping on the manifold.
*Steal an ice cream truck and leave your driver's license inside.
*Run from the cops on a quarter tank of gas.
*Rush into zipping your pants up. (Ouch!)
*Say that David Hassellhoff sucks at Octoberfest.

-go around a campfire with your hair down,it will catch on fire

-go down a intersection wearing roller blades

-get your moms favorite bra stuck in the vacume

-take the gum out of your mouth
and stick it to your fingers during an important ceremony

-eat cheetos off the ground

-stuff a cat into a whole, they dont come out

-walk out of the shower while your whole family is in the kitchen

I have done all of these things and advise you not to try them.

-go around a campfire with your hair down,it will catch on fire

-go down a intersection wearing roller blades

-get your moms favorite bra stuck in the vacume


-color your freckles blue


-take the gum out of your mouth
and stick it to your fingers during an important ceremony

-eat cheetos off the ground

-stuff a cat into a whole, they dont come out

-walk out of the shower while your whole family is in the kitchen

I have done all of these things and advise you not to try them.



[This message has been edited by Me,Myself and I (edited 04-25-2001).]

Originally posted by The T:
)

.

The T[/B]

how do you do that

I DID ALL OF THESE http://www.sitcomsonline.com/ubb/frown.gif
~Do not run up the down escalator u will take too big of a step fall and drift down it(I did that)
~Do not swear at ur friend if ur friend tries to take the blinker out of ur christmas lights and breaks the whole set of lights(I did and my mom heard me and my friends almost had to leave)
~If u are making a poster on green eggs and ham don't color the eggs yellow!(I did that today at MonValley reads station 1)
~Don't roller blade down ur very steep hill then fall and roll into the intersection.(it wasn't a pretty sight)
~don't throw dirt in ur neighbor window when they aren't home
~Don't run around asking for mary jane w/ a british accent at the smithsonian museum on ur 7th grade field trip!(Me and my friends did that and we got lost and ended up on the roof of the museum I have pictures to prove it lol they were looking for us for a half an hour.)


DON'T DO THE FOLLOWING WHILE ORDERING A PIZZA
1. If using a touch-tone, press random numbers while ordering. Ask person taking the order to stop doing that.

2. Make up a charge-card name. Ask if they accept it.

3. Use CB lingo where applicable.

4. Order a Big Mac Extra Value Meal.

5. Terminate the call with, "Remember, we never had this conversation."

6. Tell the order taker a rival pizza place is on the other line and you're going with the lowest bidder.

7. Give them your address, exclaim "Oh, just surprise me!" and hang up.

8. Answer their questions with questions.

9. In your breathiest voice, tell them to cut the crap about nutrition, ask if they have something outlandishly sinful.

10. Use these bonus words in the conversation: ROBUST FREE-SPIRITED COST-EFFICIENT SYSTEM.

11. Tell them to put the crust on top this time.

12. Sing the order to the tune of your favorite song from Metallica's "Master of Puppets" CD.

13. Do not name the toppings you want. Rather, spell them out.

14. Put an extra edge in your voice when you say "crazy bread."

15. Stutter on the letter "p."

16. Ask for a deal available somewhere else. (e.g. If phoning Domino's, ask for a Cheeser! Cheeser!)

17. Ask what the order taker is wearing.

18. Crack your knuckles into the receiver.

19. Say hello, act stunned for five seconds, then behave as if they called you.

20. Rattle off your order with a determined air. If asked "Would you like drinks with that?", panic and become disoriented.

21. Tell the order taker you're depressed. Get him/her to cheer you up.

22. Make a list of exotic cuisines. Order them as toppings.

23. Change your accent every three seconds.

24. Order 52 pepperoni slices prepared in a fractal pattern as follows from an equation you are about to dictate. Ask if they need paper.

25. Act like you know the order taker from somewhere. Say "Bed-Wetters' Camp, right?"

26. Start your order with "I'd like. . . ". A little later, slap yourself and say "No, I don't."

27. If they repeat the order to make sure they have it right, say "OK. That'll be $10.99; please pull up to the first window."

28. Rent a pizza.

29. Order while using an electric knife sharpener.

30. Ask if you get to keep the pizza box. When they say yes, heave a sigh of
relief.

31. Put the accent on the last syllable of "pepperoni." Use the long "i"
sound.

32. Have your pizza "shaken, not stirred."

33. Say "Are you sure this is (Pizza Place)? When they say yes, say "Well, so is this! You've got some explaining to do!" When they finally offer proof that it is, in fact, (Pizza Place), start to cry and ask, "Do you know what it's like to be lied to?"

34. Move the mouthpiece farther and farther from your lips as you speak. When the call ends, jerk the mouthpiece back into place and scream goodbye at the top of your lungs.

35. Tell them to double-check to make sure your pizza is, in fact, dead.

36. Imitate the order taker's voice.

37. Eliminate verbs from your speech.

38. When they say "What would you like?" say, "Huh? Oh, you mean now."

39. Play a sitar in the background.

40. Say it's your anniversary and you'd appreciate if the deliverer hid behind some furniture waiting for your spouse to arrive so you can surprise him/her.

41. Amuse the order taker with little-known facts about country music.

42. Ask to see a menu.

43. Quote Carl Sandberg.

44. Say you'll be able to pay for this when the movie people call back.

45. Ask if they have any idea what is at stake with this pizza.

46. Ask what topping goes best with well-aged Chardonnay.

47. Belch directly into the mouthpiece; then tell your dog it should be ashamed.

48. Order a slice, not a whole pizza.

49. Shout "I'm through with men/women! Send me a dozen of your best, Gaston!"

50. Doze off in the middle of the order, catch yourself, and say "Where was I? Who are you?"

51. Psychoanalyze the order taker.

52. Ask what their phone number is. Hang up, call them, and ask again.

53. Order two toppings, then say, "No, they'll start fighting."

54. Learn to properly pronounce the ingredients of a Twinkie. Ask that these be included in the pizza.

55. Call to complain about service. Later, call to say you were drunk and
didn't mean it.

56. Tell the order taker to tell the manager to tell his supervisor he's fired.

57. Report a petty theft to the order taker.

58. Use expletives like "Great Caesar's Ghost" and "Jesus Joseph and Mary in Tinsel Town."

59. Ask for the guy who took your order last time.

60. If he/she suggests anything, adamantly declare, "I shall not be swayed by your sweet words."

61. Wonder aloud if you should trim those nose hairs.

62. Try to talk while drinking something.

63. Start the conversation with "My Call to (Pizza Place), Take 1, and. . . action!"

64. Ask if the pizza is organically grown.

65. Ask about pizza maintenance and repair.

66. Be vague in your order.

67. When they repeat your order, say "Again, with a little more OOMPH this time."

68. If using a touch-tone press 9-1-1 every 5 seconds throughout the order.

69. After ordering, say "I wonder what THIS button on the phone does." Simulate a cutoff.

70. Start the conversation by reciting today's date and saying, "This may be my last entry."

71. State your order and say that's as far as this relationship is going to get.

72. Ask if they're familiar with the term "spanking a pizza." Make up a description to go with the term. Ask that this be done to your pizza.
73. Say "Kssssssssssssssht" rather loudly into the phone. Ask if they felt that.

74. Detect the order taker's psychic aura. Use it to your advantage.

75. When listing toppings you want on your pizza, include another pizza.

76. Learn to play a blues riff on the harmonica. Stop talking at regular intervals to play it.

77. Ask if they would like to sample your pizza. Suggest an even trade.

78. Perfect a celebrity's voice. Stress that you won't take any crap from some two-bit can't-hack-it pimple-faced gofer.

79. Put them on hold.

80. Teach the order taker a scret code. Use the code on all subsequent orders.

81. Mumble, "There's a bomb under your seat." When asked to repeat that, say "I said 'sauce smothered with meat'."

82. Make the first topping you order mushrooms. Make the last thing you say "No mushrooms, please." Hang up before they have a chance to respond.

83. When the order is repeated, change it slightly. When it is repeated again, change it again. On the third time, say "You just don't get it, do you?"

84. When you'ge given the price, say "Ooooooo, that sounds complicated. I hate math."

85. Haggle.

86. Order a one-inch pizza.

87. Order term life insurance.

88. When they say "Will that be all?", snicker and say "We'll find out, won't we?"

89. Order with a Speak-n-Spell where applicable.

90. Ask how many dolphins were killed to make that pizza.

91. While on the phone, fake entering puberty. Fluctuate pitch often; act embarrassed.

92. Engage in some serious swapping.

93. Dance all around the word "pizza." Avoid saying it at all costs. If he/she says it, say "Please don't mention that word."

94. Have a movie with a good car chase scene playing loudly in the background. Yell "OW!" when a bullet is fired.

95. If he/she suggests a side order, ask why he/she is punishing you.

96. Ask if the pizza has had its shots.

97. Order a steamed pizza.

98. Get taker's name. Later, call exactly on the hour to say, "This is your (time of day) wake-up call, So-and-so." Hang up.

99. Offer to pay for the pizza with a public flogging.

If any of the above practices are rejected by the order taker,

100. Say, in your best pouty voice, "Last guy let me do it."

buts its fun so do it!!!!j/j/y

Whatever you do, don't eat a birthday cake if it was baked by your friend who never cooks, especially if that friend refuses to eat the cake. This happened to me and I ate the cake and it turned out my 'friend' put X-Lax in the frosting. Not funny (ok maybe a little) but it sucked!!

That pizza ordering list reminded me of the emails I used to get when I was a freshman in college - "50 ways to freak out your roommate". They included stuff like: Keep a hamster as a pet. Buy a blender, and make milkshakes every day. Then, one day, hide the hamster. Make a shake using a lot of ketchup. When your roommate comes in, look at the shake, look at the empty cage, and tell your roommate, "I was curious."


[This message has been edited by Lynn (edited 04-26-2001).]

Originally posted by Lynn:
That pizza ordering list reminded me of the emails I used to get when I was a freshman in college - "50 ways to freak out your roommate". They included stuff like: Keep a hamster as a pet. Buy a blender, and make milkshakes every day. Then, one day, hide the hamster. Make a shake using a lot of ketchup. When your roommate comes in, look at the shake, look at the empty cage, and tell your roommate, "I was curious."


[This message has been edited by Lynn (edited 04-26-2001).]

LOL, Lynn.... I used to do the things off that list when I was a freshman in college when I had a bad roommie I hated. Like buying tons of Lucky Charms and pulling out all the purple horsehoes and stockpiling them in our closet. If she ever asked me about it, I couldn't say, or else we'd both have to suffer the consequences. I also did the pee in a cup thing and leave it on the shelf and one day switch it out with apple juice and drink it in front of her. She moved out after that one.... I wonder whatever happened to her. I really should apologize....

Originally posted by coily2:
LOL, Lynn.... I used to do the things off that list when I was a freshman in college when I had a bad roommie I hated. Like buying tons of Lucky Charms and pulling out all the purple horsehoes and stockpiling them in our closet. If she ever asked me about it, I couldn't say, or else we'd both have to suffer the consequences. I also did the pee in a cup thing and leave it on the shelf and one day switch it out with apple juice and drink it in front of her. She moved out after that one.... I wonder whatever happened to her. I really should apologize....


You are hilarious! I didn't know anyone actually did those things... LOL. I wish I could have seen the look on your roommate's face.

You go to: mysmilies.com... http://cwm.ragesofsanity.com/contrib/ruinkai/biggthumpup.gif http://cwm.ragesofsanity.com/contrib/owen/scatter.gif http://cwm.ragesofsanity.com/contrib/owen/scatter.gif http://cwm.ragesofsanity.com/contrib/owen/spin2.gif

The T

[This message has been edited by The T (edited 04-28-2001).]

*Never-ever- write S.O.S. on back of your church fan while on a youth trip. The police WILL take you seriously and pull you over. They will also yank your youth director, or whoever is driving the van, out of the car and onto the ground while pointing a gun at him. Also, you get to explain to the cops, and everyone else why you did. Plus, I think the youth director is still holding a grudge...


*Never dry off a baseball by putting it in the microwave...it WILL explode!


That pizza thing was HILARIOUS! I'm still laughing!


ks

*Never* start singing in English class, especially if you have a teacher who yells at you if you start talking pretty loudly!

Okay... I didnt do all of these, but i know people who have and live too tell the tale!


1) If you call sleepys and ask for an english operator, dont say, hola senora, and when they put you through to spanish dont say, Bonjour madame! And when the put you throguh to frence, dont say, Hey sup hun? and when they put you through to english again dont say... You know, i like ice cream!

2) If your 10 year old cousin says "Dana could you open this for me" Look at what your opening, it could be a corona, not a coke!

3) Dont yell at nuns. They dont like it.

4) Dont walk into math class screaming sarcastically "oh yeah hun! I have a lot of fun here in hell!"

5) Dont pretent to be drunk comeing into school, and act like a loon during lunch. Even though were all 13, the teachers take you seriously.

6) Dont pretend to be stoned in frence class, it can cause problems.

7) When your around drunk people, dont start acting like them on a regular basis.

8) When your friend is in NY and she tells you that she was on the old 42nd street (porn stores are there) Dont turn to your other friend and say "Why was she even there, did she take a wrong turn or did she just want to get in on the action"

9) Dont growl at french people.

Ok thats all i have right now!

Never go down the steep hill you live on, which leads to the main street, with no hands trying to open a mountain dew and swat a lady bug off on 12 speed. (OUCH! POW BAM! Organs all over the place!)

------------------
Life is senseless, unless you know who you are, what you want, and which way the wind blows.

Why me?-Jo
AIM-JoandNatRule
ICQ-38668978
http://cwm.ragesofsanity.com/cwm/3dlil/sleep.gif <-- Chances are, I'm probably sleeping, so message me and wake me up! LoL

[This message has been edited by Jo_Polniaczek (edited 04-29-2001).]

LOL, GOOD ONES EVERYONE

------------------
Love Always, *Cassie*
PLEASE VISIT MY MESSAGE BOARD AT: http://www.network54.com/Hide/Forum/118744?it=0

- put eggs in the fireplace

-wear stick-on eyeshadow

Do not tell a Trekkie that Han Solo is better than Captain Kirk(believe me, the fur will fly!).


Don't throw a pencil at your bird.:rolleyes:


Do not, I repeat, Do NOT organize a terrorist plot to crash two planes into an American building and one into the Pentagon. You will regret that.

I would suggest don't put an Afghanistan flag on your car, ya never know what will happen to your car!!!

"i believe somone famous once said...thou shall not steal!!" hehehe

Originally posted by Blair n' Jo Rock
"i believe somone famous once said...thou shall not steal!!" hehehe

LOL!


While learning to drive be sure the car is in reverse when you are looking to back up, otherwise you plow forward into objects that are not meant to be plowed into.


Rememeber...the red,octagon, looking thing on the corners mean that you should stop there... (long story)



ks

1. Don't wait until the last minute to write that important term paper. You will be forced to stay up all night, you will feel terrible the next day, and your paper will suck.

2. Don't skip the senior prom just because you don't have a date. I did this 3 years ago and I still regret it. You will have lots of chances to date. You only have one chance at the senior prom.

3. Don't feel depressed because your scumbag of a best friend decided to dump you for a more popular group of friends.

4. Don't judge or hate somebody because of their race, ethnic background, religion, age, disability, gender, or sexual orientation. We don't need more hate in this world.

5. (If you're religious) God loves us, but He will NOT automatically give us decent grades. You have to earn them yourself. Don't put off studying and pray to God you get good grades. Won't happen.

6. Don't refuse a date with that guy/girl that your friends think is a total dweeb. That person may be your soulmate.

Four Major things...

1. Never go to Boston with a Yankees hate on. (Oh LORD. I have had bad times)

2. NEVER go to Fenway Park with a shirt that says "I Hate Garciaparra" (more bad times)

3. Please. Don't try to jump into the dugout in Shea Stadium to tackle Mike Piazza. (Let's not go there)

4. Don't try and jump onstage at the Jingle Jam (Ludacris, Fabulous, Petey Pablo, and more)

~ if your sister takes karate, don't tell her her makeup sux
~don't ever tell anyone on this board that NMK sux
~ dont tell me brad garrett is ugly
~don't call your teacher a vungbeda pung sayza if they know chinese
~don't poke yourself in the eye w/ an eyeshadow stick if you just got your new contacts

Originally posted by Patricia Heaton Forever

~ dont tell me brad garrett is ugly


But he is the ugliest thing I've ever seen!!!! :lol: :happyface :talk: :crazy:

j/k! I think Brad is such a sexy sweetie! Officer Barone can arrest me any day.

Originally posted by WingsFan


j/k! I think Brad is such a sexy sweetie! Officer Barone can arrest me any day.

SO TRUE!!!!!!