What is it and why?

Joe to Brian: "Get all the rest you need. I want you nice and healthy when I beat your brains out."

Antonio: "She's LYING! I'm clumsy. I'm inexperienced. I don't even know where everything is!"

Lowell: "I can't concentrate with all these BATS flying around!"

Helen to Joe: "Lowell spent the whole class yesterday watching an ant push a grain of salt across his desk, and do you know what? I ENVIED HIM!!!"

Roy: "Here's a little rule about party food. If it's green, it's trouble; if it's fried, get double!"

Brian: "When I'm in a relationship, I like to be the 7 year old."

I'm sure I'll come up with more http://www.sitcomsonline.com/ubb/wink.gif

Antonio: "I'm starving, I've been having lots of sex."

Brian; "It's a sad country when anyone can walk up to a counter and buy meat."

"Coming through. Time to take that little lady to Headboard Heaven."

"Yeah, you wish you were over me, you wish you were ALL over me."

"My goat knows the bowling score."

"Sandpiper flight 2 to Boston is now boarding. Please keep your luggage with you at all times and be sure to stow small children under the seat in front of you."

"Once, when I was out of underwear..."

How about this famous saying by Joe:

"If ifs and nuts were candy and nuts, we'd all have a wonderful christmas"

You should all remember that one!

Saying by Antonio:

Could I interest you in a soccor ball. Still has a little bounce!

CORRECTION SORRY!

This is the correct saying

How about this famous saying by Joe:

"If ifs and buts were candy and nuts, we'd all have a wonderful christmas"

You should all remember that one!

Brians famous quote:

SMORES! As there so good you want smores! Thats so stupid, that's what they should be called SASTUPIDS!

Roy Biggins Quote:

Be their or be stupid, Lowell you can be both!

Carton Quote:

If you were to carpet Florida, how long would it take to vacuume it.

:D

Bud " You could take the paint of the side of a barge with that breath." From Joe and Helens Christmas party while talking to Brians date who worked at the bank

Probably not the exact quote, but the one where Helen becomes friends with Joe's girlfriend and then the girlfriend dumps Joe, then Joe and Helen fight then kiss.

Helen: "What happenned?"

Joe: "I don't know. First we're slapping each other with dead fish, then it got weird."

Typical Wings humor, treating the bizarre as normal and vice versa.

Great to see Wings returning to TV!

I'm new here but here is one of my favorites.
This is the day after Joe and Helen come back from their honeymoon and found out their house has burned.
Helen is working at the lunch counter and she is talking to someone(it's been a while since I've seen this one so bear with me).
Helen says something like:"Oh, I'm over that. I'm just going to put that whole fire thing behind me." A man then lights up a cigarette at the counter and while spraying him with the fire extinguisher Helen screams:"THERE IS NO SMOKING AT THE LUNCH COUNTERRRRR!"
I love that one.

helen: " hey brian, check out my new bowling outfit"

Brian( as james bond)" As striking as that is.........Spare me!"

haha def my favorite

Antonio: "Its time to face the face."

Antonio was the best.

Bud "You could take the paint off the side of a barge with that breath." to Brians date from the bank at helen and Joes xmas party

[Lowell is discussing with Joe whether or not he should join the Witness Protection Program]

Lowell: And plus, I like the name Lowell. I mean, what will my new name be? Jowell? Nowell?
Joe: Lowell, I don't think you new name HAS to rhyme with your current one.

hehehe:lol: I don't know if that's the exact quote but it was something like that.

Also in the same episode:

[The gang thinks that Lowell has already left the island to join the program when he enters]

Helen: Lowell! Does this mean you're not joining the program?
Lowell: No, I am joining the program, but they said they wanted to leave at 1300 hours, which I figure is about 2 months.

Again I'm not sure of the exact words, but this episode is my favorite so I know it pretty well;)

wait-i love this one too:D :

[Joe and Lowell are discussing Cindy, the girl that Brian has set Joe up on a date with]

Lowell: Joe, let me see if I can find the words to explain this.
[pause]
Lowell: Nope.

(From the episode where Antonio witnesses a robbery.)

Helen "You've been telling us that story all day."
Antonio "Oh, forgive me! I just thought we could use a break from your 'All the good men are married or gay!' speech."

My all-time favorite line was:
"If you were to carpet the state of Florida, how long would it take you to vaccum?" spoken by none other than Carlton!

I know there are more lines I loved, but I'll have to post them later!

Helen:"Hey, and who knew Truffaut could act!" For those 'Close Encounters" fans, you know exactly what I'm talking about.

Lowell:"Joe Hackett at a Pearl Jam concert?! Maybe Pearl Bailey!"

Antonio(talking about I Love Lucy):"You know there is one thing that does bother me about the show."
Roy:"You mean how come Ricky lived in this country all these years and still had that annoying accent."
Antonio:"What accent?"

Brian:"For once I would love to hear somebody say-He was a maniac, I feared for my life, I was just waiting for the chainsaw to come ripping through the wall!"
Joe:"No more sugar for you, mister!":crazy: :happyface


I know I don't have the words exactly but I think it's close.

Just thought of 2 more--but I'm sure I'll think of more.

Helen:Oooh, I have goosebumps.
Brian:Don't sell yourself short, Helen, you fill out very well in that sweater.

After taking Roy out of 'hypnosis' after dancing and singing to 'Buttons & Bows', Brian says Roy won't remember anything and Antonio says "Can you make me forget?". Same episode, while Roy was under 'hypnosis', he says how he went to A Little Taste of Oslo, and said he did a bad thing. The gang was like, this is getting good, and Brian asked,'what was this bad thing?' and Roy replies,'I filled up on salad & bread'.

I know I don't have the words exactly but I know you will all know what I'm talking about.:rock: :liplick:

Well, I'm fairly new to the show, but there are a LOT of funy quotes that make me laugh out loud. here are some that I can think of from the episodes I've seen:

at the beginning of one episode, Roy is eating a hot dog and Brian comes over and says "do you have any idea what you are about to eat?" and Roy goes "... I'd say it's a hot dog." and Brian says "..more like a fried tube of death."
hahaha!

and then the one where Helen wants to learn to fly, and she's in the class that Joe's teaching, and it goes something like this (probably not exactly):
Joe: "why don't we start off by everyone sharing with the class why you want to learn to fly."
Helen: "Flying.. is.. orgasmic!"
Joe: "uh, ok... what about you, Lowell?"
Lowell: "Helen took my answer!"

and then there was one episode, i don't remember what it was about, out they were talking about the rapper Ice T.
and it went something like this-
Antonio: "I wonder if Ice T is related to Mr. T."
Lowell: "I wonder if Mr. T is related to Mr Coffee"
Roy [to Lowell]: "I wonder if your mother is related to your father!"

or something like that. hehe.

well, that's all I can think of at the moment....

~Krista
:o)

Roy - "Well its official now Lowell is the biggest numbnut on the island."

Roy - "Get that Lowellcycle out of the terminal. He is scaring the passengers."

Both quotes from the episode where Lowell and Antonio do a polar bear swim

just heard this one tonight



Brian: Carol gave me the same birthday present every year the only difference was where she put the bow



I think I got the quote right, I know it made me giggle, and made my mind start to wonder ... lol

Roy: "There's a woman who never spent a night with Roy Biggins."
Antonio: "You mean she hasn't been chained to your furnace?"

Helen: "It wasn't that I lost my boyfriend. I lost my best friend."

that was a good one, I actually started crying while watching itOriginally posted by Snoopy
Helen: "It wasn't that I lost my boyfriend. I lost my best friend."

Brian on the Mary Pat Lee Show, "Are we ever going to get to smart, sexy and single or has that ship sailed"

Joe - Did you see where that cop hit Roy with the nightstick
Brian - He'll have no trouble hitting the high notes now

The episode where Roy sings at Fenway Park

Originally posted by Snoopy
Roy: "There's a woman who never spent a night with Roy Biggins."
Antonio: "You mean she hasn't been chained to your furnace?"


haha!! yeah! I was cracking up at that last night!

Every episode has at least one great line. Here are a few:

(Brian and Joe talking about a 19 year old)

Joe: Did you notice the way her hair smelled? I think it was......prell.

Brian: Find out, ask her over for some cake and a shower.

-------------

Brian: 19 is the perfect age, no ticking biological clock, no I need a commitment, no didn't we do it this week already?

---------------

Faye: When you're young you have looks, when you're older you have wisdom......of course I'd forget every deep thought in my head to get the old toosh back.

---------

(Helen discussing girl she used to baby sit that Joe is dating)

Helen: Joe, you going out with a 19 year old is crazy. That girl is a child....for god sakes Joe I bathed that girl, I tucked her in.

Joe: What a coincidence.

-------------

(Reading from newspaper)

Brian: 15 percent of the american public would rather watch TV then have sex.

Roy: Sounds about right....you could be too tired or she's too ugly.

Brian: The words too tired aren't in my vocabulary and frankly Roy the words too ugly shouldn't be in yours.

(Lowell enters)

Brian: Hey Lowell would you rather watch TV or have sex?

Lowell: Buy me dinner and the choice is yours.

Good One ... lol ... and that comes from a woman that is apart of that 15 percent ... lol



Originally posted by losthighway
Brian: 15 percent of the american public would rather watch TV then have sex.

HEY! Who says you can't watch TV AND have sex? Anyhoo, thought of a few more funny lines the past couple days, although Krista took my 'flying is orgasmic' line.

Alex-Hey, slick-n-speedy
Brian-Her name is Stella.
Alex-I was talking to you.

Joe-Who is the largest supplier of silver in the world?
Lowell-Ann-Margret.
Roy-Lowell, are you nuts, Ann-Margret the largest supplier of silver in the world?
Lowell-Roy, have you seen her Vegas act?

same episode
Joe-What does Simon Wiesenthal hunt?
Lowell-Ann-Margret.
Roy-Simon Wiesenthal hunts Ann-Margret?!!
Lowell-I thought he might be one of those crazed fans.

3 from same episode
1)Lowell-Dinner still not ready!!
2)Helen-Tasting the sauce!
3)Helen-Look at me!It's prom night, and I'm Carrie!!

Lowell(to Brian, as they're both being robbed by a guy in a Nixon mask)-I dreamt about this and it came true!
Brian-You dreamt that we were going to be robbed?
Lowell-No, I dreamt that I met Nixon!

Brian-What are they going to do, drive golf tees under our fingernails?!
Lowell-Don't ask me how but I happen to know that hurts like NOBODY'S business!

And from the episode where Roy sings at Fenway(sorry, I don't know all the titles like Snoopy does)
Lowell-Roy, you finally got her,and Helen, I'm more than a little disappointed in you.

As you can tell, alot of these great lines came courtesy of Thomas Haden Church, so it was certainly a crime when he left the show. I don't think it was just because he was going to be doing Ned & Stacy, I also read that he was unhappy on Wings. I think he felt they didn't give him enough to do. How do you think a Lowell spin-off would have faired?



:thought: :tv: :dance: :banana:

does watching tv and having sex dreams count ... lol



Originally posted by phoebe7165
HEY! Who says you can't watch TV AND have sex? Anyhoo, thought of a few more funny lines the past couple days, although Krista took my 'flying is orgasmic' line.

Alex-Hey, slick-n-speedy
Brian-Her name is Stella.
Alex-I was talking to you.

Joe-Who is the largest supplier of silver in the world?
Lowell-Ann-Margret.
Roy-Lowell, are you nuts, Ann-Margret the largest supplier of silver in the world?
Lowell-Roy, have you seen her Vegas act?

same episode
Joe-What does Simon Wiesenthal hunt?
Lowell-Ann-Margret.
Roy-Simon Wiesenthal hunts Ann-Margret?!!
Lowell-I thought he might be one of those crazed fans.

3 from same episode
1)Lowell-Dinner still not ready!!
2)Helen-Tasting the sauce!
3)Helen-Look at me!It's prom night, and I'm Carrie!!

Lowell(to Brian, as they're both being robbed by a guy in a Nixon mask)-I dreamt about this and it came true!
Brian-You dreamt that we were going to be robbed?
Lowell-No, I dreamt that I met Nixon!

Brian-What are they going to do, drive golf tees under our fingernails?!
Lowell-Don't ask me how but I happen to know that hurts like NOBODY'S business!

And from the episode where Roy sings at Fenway(sorry, I don't know all the titles like Snoopy does)
Lowell-Roy, you finally got her,and Helen, I'm more than a little disappointed in you.

As you can tell, alot of these great lines came courtesy of Thomas Haden Church, so it was certainly a crime when he left the show. I don't think it was just because he was going to be doing Ned & Stacy, I also read that he was unhappy on Wings. I think he felt they didn't give him enough to do. How do you think a Lowell spin-off would have faired?



:thought: :tv: :dance: :banana:

Originally posted by nantucket_wings
Good One ... lol ... and that comes from a woman that is apart of that 15 percent ... lol


For me, it depends on the TV show. If it's a show I love, I pick TV. If it's a show I hate, then sex. You can also have the best of both worlds: put the TV in the bedroom and make love during the commercials!

:lol: :lol: :lol: :D

"I'm starving! I've been having lots of sex." -Antonio

may I add that if the phrase was watch tv or have sex with Tim or Steven then I would choose both ... :lol:

WoW! to be honest about my favourite quote I'm gonna mention again, some I've already saw here (but, well, are my favourites!)

Helen: You care more about this *stupid* plane than you do about me!
Joe: Me? You're the one with the cello between your legs eight hours a day!
Helen: Well, at least that gives me some satisfaction!
Joe: Yeah, well, at least when I'm in the plane I get some sense of movement!

-----

When Joe is dress like pinocchio ¿remember that episode?
Joe: Look at me, would I lie to you?

-----

This is one of the BEST ever
Joe: If ifs and buts were candy and nuts, we'd all have a wonderful Christmas.

-----

Joe: One minute we were smackin' each other with meat, then it got weird...

-----

JOE (to Sandy Cooper): 'I think you're a total psycho in need of a prozac the size of a handball.'

-----

HELEN: Joe, you going out with a 19 year old is crazy. That girl is a child....for god sakes Joe I bathed that girl, I tucked her in.
JOE: What a coincidence.

-----

And now I'm going to appeal to your good memory... Anyone here remeber that episode when They were talking about nicknames and Antonio said that (don't know exavtly *who*) called him "the dirrrrty" (read this with Antonio accent) and "the peeper"... My sister and I can't stop laughing everytime we remember that moment!