...Ok, so for those of you who don't like to talk about sex, please move on to the next post...

OK, so over the weekend I went into my fiance's sister's room looking for a pair of scissors, instead i found a used condom. Now his sister is 17 years old, and has only known the guy she's been dating for like 2 months now, and she started dating him only like a week after breaking up with her boyfriend of like 2 years. So anyway, i freak out...i run down stairs and i run into jonathan. I'm torn, b/c he loves his sister's boyfriend (We'll call him Bob), and thinks he's a great guy... so the last thing I wanted to do was get Bob killed. But i'm sitting there, my stomach in knots, so Jonathan knows something is up, so I crack and tell him. He just sits there. He can't belive his little sister, who watns to go into the ministry, who use to preach about not having sex before marriage, has just become a high school statistic. Now ,t het hing that gets it is that me and him aren't innocent either. We didn't wait before marriage, but our situation is a bit different. We're both out of high school, about to graduate from college, and we KNOW we're going to get married. She's only 17, still in high school, and I think she's taken her feelings from her 2 year relatinoship and kind of "transferred" them over to this new guy. I mean, she barely knows him. So anyway, Jonathan says he doesn't want to tell any1 cause it's her life and her decision... but he says he will hate himself if she gets preg. because he'll feel like he could have stopped it. So we've decided to just forget we found out (God, how I wish I hadn't went looking for scissors)... but I can't get the pukey nervous feeling out of my stomach everytime I know they are across the room in her room alone, or even when I see the two of them together. Poor Jonathan just wants to forget, he says he just can't look at her the same.

My question, why do I feel so upset over something that I have done myself and feel absolutley no guilt about it? How do I forget i found out and just move on and not look at them differently? This is the one time where I REALLY REALLY WISH I hadn't found out the "dirt" on someone. It's so weird looking at her, and I know what she doesn't think anyone knows, and i'm suppose to pretend like nothing is up when Bob starts making jokes about "making out" and stuff. I feel so weird! HELP!

...Ok, so for those of you who don't like to talk about sex, please move on to the next post...

OK, so over the weekend I went into my fiance's sister's room looking for a pair of scissors, instead i found a used condom. Now his sister is 17 years old, and has only known the guy she's been dating for like 2 months now, and she started dating him only like a week after breaking up with her boyfriend of like 2 years. So anyway, i freak out...i run down stairs and i run into jonathan. I'm torn, b/c he loves his sister's boyfriend (We'll call him Bob), and thinks he's a great guy... so the last thing I wanted to do was get Bob killed. But i'm sitting there, my stomach in knots, so Jonathan knows something is up, so I crack and tell him. He just sits there. He can't belive his little sister, who watns to go into the ministry, who use to preach about not having sex before marriage, has just become a high school statistic. Now ,t het hing that gets it is that me and him aren't innocent either. We didn't wait before marriage, but our situation is a bit different. We're both out of high school, about to graduate from college, and we KNOW we're going to get married. She's only 17, still in high school, and I think she's taken her feelings from her 2 year relatinoship and kind of "transferred" them over to this new guy. I mean, she barely knows him. So anyway, Jonathan says he doesn't want to tell any1 cause it's her life and her decision... but he says he will hate himself if she gets preg. because he'll feel like he could have stopped it. So we've decided to just forget we found out (God, how I wish I hadn't went looking for scissors)... but I can't get the pukey nervous feeling out of my stomach everytime I know they are across the room in her room alone, or even when I see the two of them together. Poor Jonathan just wants to forget, he says he just can't look at her the same.

My question, why do I feel so upset over something that I have done myself and feel absolutley no guilt about it? How do I forget i found out and just move on and not look at them differently? This is the one time where I REALLY REALLY WISH I hadn't found out the "dirty" on someone. It's so weird looking at her, and I know what she doesn't think anyone knows, and i'm suppose to pretend like nothing is up when Bob starts making jokes about "making out" and stuff. I feel so weird! HELP!





Has anyone ever tried the FRENCH FRIES at Wendy's? They are so delicious

Has anyone ever tried the FRENCH FRIES at Wendy's? They are so delicious
well you suck...:rolleyes:


if all i'm gonna get is snide remarks, I can edit my post and have the thread deleted. I just seriously don't know what to do... it's not cool finding that out about your "little sister". It's not that I even care... I just want this nervous-gut-feeling in my stomach to go away.

or maybe i'm just a prude that needs to get over it.

...Ok, so for those of you who don't like to talk about sex, please move on to the next post...

OK, so over the weekend I went into my fiance's sister's room looking for a pair of scissors, instead i found a used condom. Now his sister is 17 years old, and has only known the guy she's been dating for like 2 months now, and she started dating him only like a week after breaking up with her boyfriend of like 2 years. So anyway, i freak out...i run down stairs and i run into jonathan. I'm torn, b/c he loves his sister's boyfriend (We'll call him Bob), and thinks he's a great guy... so the last thing I wanted to do was get Bob killed. But i'm sitting there, my stomach in knots, so Jonathan knows something is up, so I crack and tell him. He just sits there. He can't belive his little sister, who watns to go into the ministry, who use to preach about not having sex before marriage, has just become a high school statistic. Now ,t het hing that gets it is that me and him aren't innocent either. We didn't wait before marriage, but our situation is a bit different. We're both out of high school, about to graduate from college, and we KNOW we're going to get married. She's only 17, still in high school, and I think she's taken her feelings from her 2 year relatinoship and kind of "transferred" them over to this new guy. I mean, she barely knows him. So anyway, Jonathan says he doesn't want to tell any1 cause it's her life and her decision... but he says he will hate himself if she gets preg. because he'll feel like he could have stopped it. So we've decided to just forget we found out (God, how I wish I hadn't went looking for scissors)... but I can't get the pukey nervous feeling out of my stomach everytime I know they are across the room in her room alone, or even when I see the two of them together. Poor Jonathan just wants to forget, he says he just can't look at her the same.

My question, why do I feel so upset over something that I have done myself and feel absolutley no guilt about it? How do I forget i found out and just move on and not look at them differently? This is the one time where I REALLY REALLY WISH I hadn't found out the "dirty" on someone. It's so weird looking at her, and I know what she doesn't think anyone knows, and i'm suppose to pretend like nothing is up when Bob starts making jokes about "making out" and stuff. I feel so weird! HELP!


I know how you feel, I went through it with my niece when we moved back from Canada. I actually walked in on her and her boyfriend having sex. I was a little bold about the situation and just sat down in the room and said " Umm...what do you think your doing?" ( they didn't even realize I was there ) and threw her boyfriends pants at him. I had a loooong talk with them about it. It was awkward for them, but, I had hoped the shock may shake them up enough to rethink what they were doing. It wasn't, after that I caught them a few more times. Months later she now has a baby girl, though she didn't let that stop her from graduating ( at least I'm proud of her for that ) I had a hard time looking at them for a pretty long time too, but they won't learn til they make their own mistakes. I think you were probably so upset because you expected more common sense from her and probably because you found out something about her that no one knows. And you probably won't feel entirely comfortable with it till it is out in the open, honestly. I'm sorry your in that situation though, speaking from experience , I know your pain:(

I mean, if she wants too fine... obviously shes' attempting to be safe... but I just want to forget that I found out anything...

Has anyone ever tried the FRENCH FRIES at Wendy's? They are so delicious


:lol:

I know, they are great

I mean, if she wants too fine... obviously shes' attempting to be safe... but I just want to forget that I found out anything...


You can't, once it's in the brain, it don't come out! We're human, we dwell:(

well I just talked to him some, and he said he was "pretty much over it"... so I guess him being over it, helps me get over it. I still don't even get why i'm upset, but oh well! lol

well I just talked to him some, and he said he was "pretty much over it"... so I guess him being over it, helps me get over it. I still don't even get why i'm upset, but oh well! lol


:lol: I'm glad you found a way to deal with it :)

The girl is 17, she's old enough. She uses condoms, that's good. Maybe she takes the pill too? Do you know? That's safe. The fact that she uses condoms shows that she's wise and responsible enough to do what she thinks is right. She is taking pregnacy and sexually transmitted diseases (not to mention HIV) serious (otherwise she wouldn't be using condoms). That's a good sign. It's perfectly normal for young people to have sex. They're young, it feels good, they enjoy it. It's not like she's 13, right? Most of my friends (guys and girls) were 16 or 17 when they first had sex. Nobody got pregnant, nobody got a disease, nobody had an abortion, they all used contraception and were serious about it, not 'sleeping around'. I think that's normal. Am I alone on this? :confused:

I'm not trying to condone what she's doing... I mean, it's up to her. No, she's not on the pill, but like you said, obviously she is being safe. Great, Terrifice... but that doesn't mean I want to know about it! I just want to know how I can get rid of this gut-wrenching feeling in my stomach. You never had that? I don't know why I feel weird about it... it's not weird, I realize that... but it's diff. when it's (practicaly) your little sister. I just want to know how to get rid of the nervous feeling in my stomach... that's all.

The girl is 17, she's old enough. She uses condoms, that's good. Maybe she takes the pill too? Do you know? That's safe. The fact that she uses condoms shows that she's wise and responsible enough to do what she thinks is right. She is taking pregnacy and sexually transmitted diseases (not to mention HIV) serious (otherwise she wouldn't be using condoms). That's a good sign. It's perfectly normal for young people to have sex. They're young, it feels good, they enjoy it. It's not like she's 13, right? Most of my friends (guys and girls) were 16 or 17 when they first had sex. Nobody got pregnant, nobody got a disease, nobody had an abortion, they all used contraception and were serious about it, not 'sleeping around'. I think that's normal. Am I alone on this? :confused:


No, your right. It just strikes fear in us when we see the younger ones that we've been protective about are gowing up. At least I think that's why we react that way.

At least they are using protection. As long as they keep using it, the chances of her becoming pregnant are pretty slim. I assume that she still lives at home with her parents. If so why the heck are they allowing their 17 year old daughter to have her boyfriend in her room if they don't approve of sex before marriage? My mom would have never allowed me to do that in her house at any age. My mom was very old fashioned though. What your boyfriends sister and her boyfriend are doing isn't all that uncommon among people that age these days and if she dated the previous guy for 2 years I kind of find it hard to believe that that relationship was totally innocent anyway. Heck my nephew is only 20 and has been sexually active with at least 3 girls since he was 16 and just had a baby with his present girlfriend and I don't think they have any intentions of getting married. My niece is only 19, engaged and expecting a kid in May and her current boyfriend isn't the only guy she's been with either. I don't condone teenage sex especially if you haven't been with your partner for very long but if I were you I'd just stay out of it, sticking your nose in will only cause resentment between you and her and you wouldn't want that especially since you plan on becoming a member of that family someday.

I'm not trying to condone what she's doing... I mean, it's up to her. No, she's not on the pill, but like you said, obviously she is being safe. Great, Terrifice... but that doesn't mean I want to know about it! I just want to know how I can get rid of this gut-wrenching feeling in my stomach. You never had that? I don't know why I feel weird about it... it's not weird, I realize that... but it's diff. when it's (practicaly) your little sister. I just want to know how to get rid of the nervous feeling in my stomach... that's all.

Yes, one night I was at home, my folks were out, and I was alone in the living room and you could hear a needle falling. My sister (who is 17) and her boyfriend were in her room, and suddenly... I hear them moan (having sex). So I yell: "Heeeey! Shut up!" Didn't hear them ever again. :lol:

I accidentally heard my parents have sex too. That's a real nightmare! Waking up in the middel of the night and walking to the bathroom, hearing them...

What I did? Well, I just forced myself to forget it. (Untill I read this post ;))

Yes, one night I was at home, my folks were out, and I was alone in the living room and you could hear a needle falling. My sister (who is 17) and her boyfriend were in her room, and suddenly... I hear them moan (having sex). So I yell: "Heeeey! Shut up!" Didn't hear them ever again. :lol:

I accidentally heard my parents have sex too. That's a real nightmare! Waking up in the middel of the night and walking to the bathroom, hearing them...

What I did? Well, I just forced myself to forget it. (Untill I read this post ;))



HAHA..I heard my parents having sex once, the trouble was so did the friend I had staying over that night. I banged on their door and said "what do you think your doing!?!" and they replied very coy " Shakin hands":eek: I was mortified!

I don't really know what to tell you about how to get rid of that gut-wrenching feeling. But I have been there with things before so all I can say is give it time and that feeling will go away. And as most other people has said, at least she appears to be trying to be safe about all of this so that should be some peace of mind.

I assume that she still lives at home with her parents. If so why the heck are they allowing their 17 year old daughter to have her boyfriend in her room if they don't approve of sex before marriage?
God only knows

...but if I were you I'd just stay out of it, sticking your nose in will only cause resentment between you and her and you wouldn't want that especially since you plan on becoming a member of that family someday.
Oh God, I do'nt want my nose in it. That's my point... I found out completely and totally innocently (the girl obviously doesn't know how to hide any evidence) I just wanna forget that I know! I don't care if she does it, that's fine with me, it's none of my buisness.

My question is...why was the condom in plain sight? I mean, I assumed it wasn't buried in the garbage or something. Why so indiscrete? It's almost like she didn't care who saw it (you kind of have to expect people to walk in your room if you don't live alone). That's disturbing. Flaunting your sex life at 17 isn't cool, IMO.

Either that or one of the 2 of them isn't too bright.

Either that or one of the 2 of them isn't too bright.

I feel pretty sure it's the later. Her bedroom is upstairs, where her parents never go, so i'm assuming she forgot to get it.. i dunno, and don't want to think about it. I just wanna forget I saw it.

I accidentally heard my parents have sex too. That's a real nightmare! Waking up in the middel of the night and walking to the bathroom, hearing them...

I heard my parents several times... including once before I knew what sex was(it's been a long time now). I thought they were killing each other. :lol:

ROFL!!! :lol: :lol: :lol:

One time they didn't have a doorknob on the door... of course, I heard them and had to take a peek.

I can't talk about what I saw. :eek:

I agree with you! I know a lot of young people who had sex at the age of 16. Most of my friends lost their virginity at 15 or 16. I lost mine when I was 14. My friends and I didn't get pregnant or any sexually transmitted diseases at all. We all took precaution such as going on the pill and using a condom. I think people get too hung up when they dwell on the fact that a lot of young people like to have sex. I'm mean, what do they expect??? The sexes NOT to like each other in that way??? Anywho, I do agree ... it is a normal thing for most young people to have sex.
You're really a guy aren't you?

I agree with you! I know a lot of young people who had sex at the age of 16. Most of my friends lost their virginity at 15 or 16. I lost mine when I was 14. My friends and I didn't get pregnant or any sexually transmitted diseases at all. We all took precaution such as going on the pill and using a condom. I think people get too hung up when they dwell on the fact that a lot of young people like to have sex. I'm mean, what do they expect??? The sexes NOT to like each other in that way??? Anywho, I do agree ... it is a normal thing for most young people to have sex.

That's the way it seems to go these days... *sigh* These people are my generation.

Like the old saying goes, curiosity killed the cat! ;)

:rofl: :lol:

You're really a guy aren't you?

That post sounded like it...

That post sounded like it...


They all sounded like it to me, just doesn't make a very convincing girl.

The girl is 17, she's old enough. She uses condoms, that's good. Maybe she takes the pill too? Do you know? That's safe. The fact that she uses condoms shows that she's wise and responsible enough to do what she thinks is right. She is taking pregnacy and sexually transmitted diseases (not to mention HIV) serious (otherwise she wouldn't be using condoms). That's a good sign. It's perfectly normal for young people to have sex. They're young, it feels good, they enjoy it. It's not like she's 13, right? Most of my friends (guys and girls) were 16 or 17 when they first had sex. Nobody got pregnant, nobody got a disease, nobody had an abortion, they all used contraception and were serious about it, not 'sleeping around'. I think that's normal. Am I alone on this? :confused:
This best describes my opinion. It's natural to feel upset Mel, but she's a big girl and it's good she's being careful. I think it's just the shock. It will wear off after a while.

Also, I see a lot of people comment on how the girl didn't hide the condoms. I wonder why these people think that's stupid. I mean: her parents knows she's 17 and she has had a relationship for 2 years, right? So do the parents really believe nothing happens in 2 years? Are they that naieve? A friend of mine (a girl) can openly talk with her mother about condoms, the pill, you know, that kind of stuf... As do a lot of my other friends. I think it's good that parents talk about it with their kids. Ignoring it, as a parent, or pretending YOUR kid isn't doing 'it' is naieve, I think, and dangerous. If you don't want them to get pregnant or a disease etc., you have to tell them about contraception.

:lol:

I know, they are great
People when will you learn this is really a serious post, not to make fun of. You guys really don't have any respect do you now?

JUst don't have sex untill your married. You know kids don't listen these days and there parents are do embrassed to tell them what it is, I learn sex from my 6th grade teacher, they had a class where the boys are one and the girls in the other. bu, Sex is one of the worst things because it can back fire with like sexual dieases, drugs and smokeing are another bad thing,but after you had sex when there young everyone know s all about the repertation somebody have. Now I am just jabbering on. I;ll leave it like that. Just don't have sex when youknow you are ready or when you are married.

People are going to have sex - even your fiance's sweet little sister. As long as she plays it safe and acts responsibly, you shouldn't let this get to you.

Also, I see a lot of people comment on how the girl didn't hide the condoms. I wonder why these people think that's stupid. I mean: her parents knows she's 17 and she has had a relationship for 2 years, right? So do the parents really believe nothing happens in 2 years? Are they that naieve? A friend of mine (a girl) can openly talk with her mother about condoms, the pill, you know, that kind of stuf... As do a lot of my other friends. I think it's good that parents talk about it with their kids. Ignoring it, as a parent, or pretending YOUR kid isn't doing 'it' is naieve, I think, and dangerous. If you don't want them to get pregnant or a disease etc., you have to tell them about contraception.
i appreciate you taking the post serious... but if you read it, you would see that it's not w/ her ex0boyfriend (who she was with with 2 years), it's w/ the one she just met about 2 months ago...

.. but like i said, if they wanna do it, hey do it. I just didn't want to know about it! I realize she's a big girl, that's cool with me... Just wanted some advice on how to forget it, how to get the gut feeling out of my stomach. But like someone else said, with time it wore off.

People are going to have sex - even your fiance's sweet little sister. As long as she plays it safe and acts responsibly, you shouldn't let this get to you.
like i said, i can't figure out why i'm letting it get to me though... i mean, i really don't care.

like i said, i can't figure out why i'm letting it get to me though... i mean, i really don't care.

I can see why you're upset - she had sex with some guy who she's known for a short time, not the boyfriend of two years who you and your fiance knew better than this new guy.

Bottom line is, people are going to do what they want to do; it sucks to just sit by and watch it happen, especially if you don't think it's in their best interest, but if that's how things play out, at least you know she's being safe.

This concludes the TJL Touchy Feely Hour.

Next up, more wiseass remarks and non sequiters that only TJL thinks are funny...

;)

I can see why you're upset - she had sex with some guy who she's known for a short time, not the boyfriend of two years who you and your fiance knew better than this new guy.

Bottom line is, people are going to do what they want to do; it sucks to just sit by and watch it happen, especially if you don't think it's in their best interest, but if that's how things play out, at least you know she's being safe.

This concludes the TJL Touchy Feely Hour.

Next up, more wiseass remarks and non sequiters that only TJL thinks are funny...

;)
Have you been watching Dr. Phil?

;)

Mel, this feels 'off' to you because she's having sex, and her relationship with the guy isn't serious. You liked her other longtime boyfriend. Also, since she was so deadset against premarital sex, it's just come as a shock to you. I mean, she was considering joining the ministry.

The shock will wear off soon. That's what you're feeling, I think. Shock.

People when will you learn this is really a serious post, not to make fun of. You guys really don't have any respect do you now?

JUst don't have sex untill your married. You know kids don't listen these days and there parents are do embrassed to tell them what it is, I learn sex from my 6th grade teacher, they had a class where the boys are one and the girls in the other. bu, Sex is one of the worst things because it can back fire with like sexual dieases, drugs and smokeing are another bad thing,but after you had sex when there young everyone know s all about the repertation somebody have. Now I am just jabbering on. I;ll leave it like that. Just don't have sex when youknow you are ready or when you are married.

Uhm... exactely HOW does sex causes people to use drugs and smoking? :confused: So you don't do drugs and don't smoke, then you have sex, and then you suddenly start doing drugs and start smoking? Is that what you are saying? You really believe that? Poor you.

By the way, have you ever heard of a thing called 'contraception'? No? It's really out there! You can buy it! It's great!

By the way, what IS a 'repertation'?

i appreciate you taking the post serious... but if you read it, you would see that it's not w/ her ex0boyfriend (who she was with with 2 years), it's w/ the one she just met about 2 months ago...

Yes, I did see that it's with her current boyfriend. But I meant: before him, she had a relationship with that other guy (her ex) for 2 years. It would be naive to believe that she didn't have sex with him. That's why I wondered why people thought it was stupid not to hide the condoms ("cause her parents might've seen them"). And I personally think it's not weird if people doing things faster in a next relationship. The first time you have to find out how it works, you're wondering, you don't exactely know, so you take it slow. But going faster the next time seems logic to me (what doesn't mean that I approve 'sleeping around'!).

Yes, I did see that it's with her current boyfriend. But I meant: before him, she had a relationship with that other guy (her ex) for 2 years. It would be naive to believe that she didn't have sex with him. That's why I wondered why people thought it was stupid not to hide the condoms ("cause her parents might've seen them"). And I personally think it's not weird if people doing things faster in a next relationship. The first time you have to find out how it works, you're wondering, you don't exactely know, so you take it slow. But going faster the next time seems logic to me (what doesn't mean that I approve 'sleeping around'!).


I was thinking the same thing. It's possible that she did have sex with her ex boyfriend too before they broke up. I mean 2 years is a long time to be together and not have sex. I know there are virgins who do wait until marriage, but alot don't.