sex. :lol:

1. Everybody looks ugly naked
2. Let's go ahead and turn off the lights
3. ZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Calling out someone elses name!!:D

You need to shave.

Are you done yet??

You need to shave.
to the man or to the woman???? LMAO:happyface

Do you want it hard and rough?

Do you smell something burning??????:lol:

I've had better..:lol:

Let's hurry up and get this over with

Can you hand me the tv remote?

"what smells like fish?"
"I need to call mom"
"I wonder whose on Letterman tonight..."

Do I know you?

Ow! You're on my hair!

;)

"I guess now would be the time to tell you about my venereal disease"

Trying to think of something hilarious.... *thinks*

"Your technique reminds me of an ex's?" :eek:

"what smells like fish?"
"I need to call mom"
"I wonder whose on Letterman tonight..."
"What smells like fish??"!!!!!! ROTFLMAO!!!!!!:lol:

:rofl: Can you get off me you weigh a ton and I can't breathe..........

Your elbow is stabbing me.........

I'm not using birth control.......

"Oooops... I forgot these are my fertile days!" :D

Are you in yet?

"Have you started yet?"

Can u breathe thru your nose?

I Want a Baby

(When you are with the WRONG person)

I love you

(When you are with the WRONG person)

I love you
Awwww, u beat me to the punch!!! LOL

"Is that blood on the headboard???"

I will NOT warm up my bun for your nonexistent weenie!

"Are you a hermaphrodite?"

"Are you a hermaphrodite?"
:lol: I need to remember that one;)

Here, let me help you...

WOW, that was quick!!!

"What tampon????"

Damnit, I think I just started my period...

Damnit, I think I just started my period...
Don't u hate when that crap starts during sex Living70's? :mad:

Don't u hate when that crap starts during sex Living70's? :mad:
Oh Yes!!! epsecially when your period arrives early..

Oh Yes!!! epsecially when your period arrives early..
damn piece of useless crap!!!!! LMAO!!!! I am done having kids, I don't need this s**t anymore!!!!!!
:lol: :wave:

Thinking to self *Gee, he is really getting into this, should I tell him thats the sheets and not me?*

damn piece of useless crap!!!!! LMAO!!!! I am done having kids, I don't need this s**t anymore!!!!!!
:lol: :wave:
Honey all I can say to that..*SNAP SNAP SNAP* and I am not talking about your fingers;)

Honey all I can say to that..*SNAP SNAP SNAP* and I am not talking about your fingers;)
LOL...I had my tubes tied but maybe I should've had my insides ripped OUT!!!!!!!! :crazy:

woooooooow I'm having way too much fun with this thread :lol:

"Damn, now what happened to that condom?"
"Would Jesus approve of this?"
"What do you really think of Dick Cheney?"
"Reminds me of my dad."
"Size isn't everything."
"You know, I really miss being a guy."

"I've seen bigger!" :lol:

"Are you done yet?" <--- was this one already used???

"You're too rough."

Don't wake me up when you're done!
Are we there yet?

"Is it in?"

When you are finished having sex with one person it is probably a bad idea to yell out "Who's Next?" while that person is still there.:lol:

"Why are u crying over a little rug burn?"

Well, at least you tried...

;)

*yawning* "Sorry, but I'm bored."

"Why are u crying over a little rug burn?"

Damn! I hate those! You don't worry about it while the actions going on but they're annoying as hell after!:D

"Wait. Did I forget to lock the front door?" :lol:

Well, at least you tried...

;)

:lol:

"You know, I really miss being a guy."

:brent

Damn! I hate those! You don't worry about it while the actions going on but they're annoying as hell after!:D
:rotflmao: :whip

Are you in yet?

:rofl: OMGoodness............... :rofl:

Look Desperate Hosuewives is on......

Look Desperate Hosuewives is on......
:rotflmao: :cheers:

"*hysterical laughter*"
"*sings 'Georgia on my Mind'*"
"*plays ping pong*"

"Why do you do it like THAT?"

"when was the last time you took a shower?"

"Hey, that reminds me..now that my pants are down, I can show you this really weird looking wart I have."

Classic, naïve quote:

"I'm sorry, but what is sex?"

"Ssssh, is that your mom coming home?"

:fart: oppps, sorry.

:fart: oppps, sorry.
it took me five seconds, but i got it...LMAO!!!!!!!:lol:

"Um, that's not where it goes"

"can I use your phone?"

"pull my finger"
"sssssss...AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH"

"Is that your girlfriend in that picture?"

Man to woman:"Who's your daddy?" (don't say that to me, I don't want an image of my dad popping in my head during the act!!)

"That's not how your brother(or sister) used to do it!!"

"OK, we've got to be quick, my husband(or wife)will be home soon."

"What time will your mom be home?" (Being said to a man who is 40 years old!!!)

"Which triplet are you???"

(Saying to a conjoined twin) "Can you turn the other way?"

"Who are You?"

Obviously most of you people have not have long termed relationships!:lol: I have been with one man in over 30 years and he has never said anything remotely close to these things!:lol: I am sorry but I do not see these things as funny. I take my marriage and commited relationships seriously!:eek: Ok. I have a good sense of humor but not in commitments.............:crazy: :wave:

LOL!! Penny Lane, it's just fun coming up with silly, off-the-wall comments for this on-going game!! :D

Here's one:

"I'm sorry, but I forgot your name."

Obviously most of you people have not have long termed relationships!:lol: I have been with one man in over 30 years and he has never said anything remotely close to these things!:lol: I am sorry but I do not see these things as funny. I take my marriage and commited relationships seriously!:eek: Ok. I have a good sense of humor but not in commitments.............:crazy: :wave:
Penny Lane, this is a humor thread. Pleeeeze, I am in a committed relationship too. this is just fun. God, I hope you don't think all the things we posted are things we really have said???? This is not reality here, this is fun, fantasy and having laughs...it also shows the funny side of us. It's just like THINGS NOT TO SAY TO A POLICE OFFICER. I would respond, "Officer, that uniform makes you look fat!" That doesn't mean I would say that. That means that's an example of something YOU WOULDN'T SAY. C'Mon...:crazy:

"i'm sorry, did you want something?"

Penny Lane, this is a humor thread. Pleeeeze, I am in a committed relationship too. this is just fun. God, I hope you don't think all the things we posted are things we really have said???? This is not reality here, this is fun, fantasy and having laughs...it also shows the funny side of us. It's just like THINGS NOT TO SAY TO A POLICE OFFICER. I would respond, "Officer, that uniform makes you look fat!" That doesn't mean I would say that. That means that's an example of something YOU WOULDN'T SAY. C'Mon...:crazy:

That's right Penny. You also know that I'm in a commited relationship too. We're having loads of fun. :lol:

Now Irene...... I would tell the officer - Is that a gun in your pocket or are you happy to see me?

"Did I leave the iron on?"

:rofl:

That's right Penny. You also know that I'm in a commited relationship too. We're having loads of fun. :lol:

Now Irene...... I would tell the officer - Is that a gun in your pocket or are you happy to see me?
Good one Pitooey LOL:crazy: :wave:

LOL!!! What about:

"Ooops! Sorry....Wrong hole!" :eek:

LOL!!! What about:

"Ooops! Sorry....Wrong hole!" :eek:
OMG!!!!!! DID U JUST POST THAT????? OMG!!!! no you didn't....YES!! U DID!!!:brent :brent :tehcool:

OMG!!!!!! DID U JUST POST THAT????? OMG!!!! no you didn't....YES!! U DID!!!:brent :brent :tehcool:
LOL! I actually "borrowed" it from another forum where this is an ongoing game as well.... Someone posted this, and I think it's just about darn hilarious!! :lol:

"Would you like cream with that?"

"How long is this gonna take?"

"Did I turn off the oven?"

"Is that my cell phone ringing?"

"Wait, what, hey! you're not the guy I met at the club!!!!!"

Why is yours so crooked? It leans more to the left.

Guy speaking to his female sex partner: "Shh, I think my boyfriend's home".

"Don't move around too much, the bag will fall off your head".

Woman holding her nose, and screaming out in disgusted passion: MAKE WAR, NOT LOVE!!!!! MAKE WAR, NOT LOVE!!!

"i think it came off"

"wave to the hidden camera"

"that's not my foot"

"so THAT's where I left that pastrami sandwich"

"so THAT's where I left that pastrami sandwich"
:brent

I'll leave a 20 at the foot of the bed in the morning.

Guy speaking to his female sex partner: "Shh, I think my boyfriend's home".

"Don't move around too much, the bag will fall off your head".

"Make war, not love".
LMAO!!!! Little Mel


(blonde female to the guy) "I don't get it...what do u mean u want to see my back door?"

ZZZZZZZZZZZZ

ZZZZZZZZZZZZ
LOL 70's Dream!!!!

"see that pimple on my back, can u pop it for me?":lol:

i have aids?

Ohhhh...another one from another forum.....

"Is that a penis, or is that your finger?"

Ohhhhhhhhh..... :eek:

from the woman to the man: "Shut the hell up B******!!!!

"Do you realize you have over 5,000 dots on the ceiling?"

"Do you realize you have over 5,000 dots on the ceiling?"

:lol: Ha ha ha, that's a good one. Here's another one.

"Is that your penis, or a little smokey sausage".

:lol: Ha ha ha, that's a good one. Here's another one.

"Is that your penis, or a little smokey sausage".
:eek2: omg: :rofl:

:eek2: omg: :rofl:

I thought you'd like that one. :lol:

:lol: Ha ha ha, that's a good one. Here's another one.

"Is that your penis, or a little smokey sausage"."Is that your penis, or do you have a very large boil?"

"Is that your penis, or do you have a very large boil?"
Yuck!!!!!!:lol: :crazy:

"Uh, excuse me, you have alot of hair on your back" (being said to a woman)

OMG...

:brent :rofl: :rotflmao: :brent :rofl: :rotflmao: :brent :rofl: :rotflmao:
:brent :rofl: :rotflmao:

"Excuse me, I'm trying to light my cigarette...........................Okay, go ahead"

"Here comes the train...open the tunnel....CHOO CHOO"

"There....that outta hold you for two weeks"

Oh what the heck, I'll post it. Woman speaking to man with crooked private part: "Is that your penis, or a miniature version of the leaning tower of Piza??".

man: "Now, how do I do this?"

I hope I put my condum on the right way. (says this just as you're in the middle of "doing it")

Oh what the heck, I'll post it. Woman speaking to man with crooked private part: "Is that your penis, or a miniature version of the leaning tower of Piza??".
:dance: :cheer: :brent ROTFLMAO!!!!!! GOOD ONE MEL!!!

(after sex) "I wonder if I took my birth control yesterday, because I know I didn't take it today..."

"CRAMP! CRAMP! CRAMP!!! OOOOOOOWWWWWWW!!!"

"You only have a 90% chance of catching it... don't worry."

Woman to guy: "Oh my goodness, you have no pubic hairs. How old did you say you were again??"