50 Facts about Women

1. Women love to shop. It is the one area of the world where they feel like they're actually in control.

2. Women especially love a bargain. The question of "need" is irrelevant, so don't bother pointing it out. Anything on sale is fair game.

3. Women never have anything to wear. Don't question the racks of clothes in the closet; you "just don't understand".

4. Women need to cry. And they won't do it alone unless they know you can hear them.

5. Women will always ask questions that have no right answer, in an effort to trap you into feeling guilty.

6. Women love to talk. Silence intimidates them and they feel a need to fill it, even if they have nothing to say.

7. Women need to feel like there are people worse off than they are. That's why soap operas and Oprah Winfrey-type shows are so successful.

8. Women don't need sex as often as men do. This is because sex is more physical for men and more emotional for women. Just knowing that the man wants to have sex with them fulfills the emotional need.

9. Women hate bugs. Even the strong-willed ones need a man around when there's a spider or a wasp involved.

10. Women can't keep secrets. They eat away at them from the inside. And they don't view it as being untrustworthy, providing they only tell two or three people.

11. Women always go to public restrooms in groups. It gives them a chance to gossip.

12. Women can't refuse to answer a ringing phone, no matter what she's doing. It might be the lottery calling.

13. Women never understand why men love toys. Men understand that they wouldn't need toys if women had an "on/off" switch.

14. Women think all beer is the same.

15. Women keep three different shampoos and two different conditioners in the shower. After a woman showers, the bathroom will smell like a tropical rain forest.

16. Women don't understand the appeal of sports. Men seek entertainment that allows them to escape reality. Women seek entertainment that reminds them of how horrible things could be.

17. If a man goes on a seven-day trip, he'll pack five days worth of clothes and will wear some things twice; if a woman goes on a seven-day trip she'll pack 21 outfits because she doesn't know what she'll feel like wearing each day.

18. Women brush their hair before bed.

19. Watch a woman eat an ice cream cone and you'll have a pretty good idea about how she'll be in bed.

20. Women are paid less than men, except for one field: Modeling.

21. Women are never wrong. Apologizing is the man's responsibility, "It's there in the Bible". Hmmm, who was it that gave Adam the apple?

22. Women do not know anything about cars. "Oil- stick, oil doesn't stick?"

23. Women have better restrooms. They get the nice chairs and red carpet. Men just get a large bowl to share.

24. The average number of items in a typical woman's bathroom is 437. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.

25. Women love cats. Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.

26. Women love to talk on the phone. A woman can visit her girlfriend for two weeks, and upon returning home, she will call the same friend and they will talk for three hours.

27. A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, or get the mail.

28. Women will drive miles out of their way to avoid the possibility of getting lost using a shortcut.

29. Women don't try as hard as men during sex; after all, they don't fall asleep afterwards.

30. Women do NOT want an honest answer to the question, 'How do I look?'

31. PMS stands for: Permissible Man-Slaughter. (Or at least men think it means that. PMS also stands for Preposterous Mood Swings and Punish My Spouse.

32. The first naked man a women see is "Ken".

33. Women are insecure about their weight, butt, and breast sizes.

34. Women will make three right-hand turns to avoid making one left-hand turn.

35. "Oh, nothing," has an entirely different meaning in woman-language than it does in man-language.

36. Lewis Carroll's Caterpillar had nothing on women.

37. Women cannot use a map without turning the map to correspond to the direction that they are heading.

38. All women are overweight by definition; don't agree with them about it. Women always have 5 pounds to lose, but don't bring this up unless they really have 5 pounds to gain.

39. If it is not Valentines day and you see a man in a flower shop, you can probably start up a conversation by asking, "What did you do?"

40. Only women understand the reason for "guest towels" and the "good china".

41. Women want equal rights, but you rarely hear them clamoring to be let into the draft to cover the responsibilities that go with those rights. All women seek equality with men until it comes to sharing the closet, taking out the trash, and picking up the check.

42. Origin of the word "woman" is: woo-man.

43. If a man ticks off a woman she will often respond by getting a fuzzy toilet cover which warms their rear, but makes it impossible for the lid to stay up thus it constantly gets peed on by the guys. (which gets them in more trouble)

44. Women never check to see if the lid is up. They seem to prefer taking a flying butt leap towards the bowl and then chewing men out because they "left the seat up" instead of taking two seconds and lowering it themselves.

45. Women can get out of speeding tickets by pouting. This will get men arrested.

46. Women don't really care about a sense of humor in a guy despite claims to the contrary. You don't see women trampling over Tom Cruise to get to Gilbert Gottfried, do you?

47. Women fake orgasm because men fake foreplay.

48. It's okay for women to dance with each other and not be gay. You don't see straight men dancing together.

49. Women will spend hours dressing up to go out, and then they'll go out and spend more time checking out other women. Men can never catch women checking out other men; women will always catch men checking out other women.

50. The most embarrassing thing for women is to find another woman wearing the same dress at a formal party. You don't hear men say, "Oh-my-GOD, there's another man wearing a black tux, get me outta here!"




Interesting list....feel free to disprove any of the above facts. ;)

14 & 16 are untrue lol

14 & 16 are untrue lol
I agree. Sports is reality, it's a bunch of people beating on each other for a ball. Sounds like dumb people to meee. I watch comedy, that's REAL escapism. I hate drama, makes me nervous.

:brent

I like that... :p

Too many of those items are stereotypical.

ahem.

44. Women never check to see if the lid is up. They seem to prefer taking a flying butt leap towards the bowl and then chewing men out because they "left the seat up" instead of taking two seconds and lowering it themselves. <<< Howwwwwwww true!!!

Damn Straight ;)

ahem.

hey, the reason I posted it was to see what's really true and what isn't! ;)

They're sure not true for all women believe me. There's too many to pick through, but it doesn't really start getting real until #15 for the mostpart. (At least in my case).


And for God sakes - why should WE have to check the damn toilet seat - once and for all - just put it down where God intended it to be out of sheer courtesy to us! You have NO idea of what it's like to fall into ice water in the middle of the night - butt first! :rolleyes:

You have NO idea of what it's like to fall into ice water in the middle of the night - butt first! :rolleyes:
oh suuuure, but, if we leave it down, THEN you complain about having to sit in p**s :lol:

all of em are just about true except 16

29 isn't true.

My last girlfriend was amazing in that department.

Detailed sketches and diagrams are available upon request.

;)

44. Women never check to see if the lid is up. They seem to prefer taking a flying butt leap towards the bowl and then chewing men out because they "left the seat up" instead of taking two seconds and lowering it themselves. <<< Howwwwwwww true!!!


My kid sister doesn't check and it's always soooooooooooo funny when she falls in. :lol: Number 32 was true for me. ;)

And for God sakes - why should WE have to check the damn toilet seat - once and for all - just put it down where God intended it to be out of sheer courtesy to us! You have NO idea of what it's like to fall into ice water in the middle of the night - butt first! :rolleyes:

Hey now... why should we be yelled at for having to put it down after we're done??? We can't help that God gave us the right equipment. ;)

29 isn't true.

My last girlfriend was amazing in that department.

Detailed sketches and diagrams are available upon request.

;)
Ummmm, thats ok....maybe you could send a script to Red Shoe Diaries :rolleyes:

:lol:

3. Women never have anything to wear. Don't question the racks of clothes in the closet; you "just don't understand".
incredibly true.


14. Women think all beer is the same.
haha, true that we cant tell the difference between all of 'em...but we know when beer is bad and when its decent. (ie: natural light is just not acceptable)


22. Women do not know anything about cars. "Oil- stick, oil doesn't stick?"
not true. i love cars, but partial truth because it was my dad that taught me about them when i was younger, and most women dont care about cars like men do.


47. Women fake orgasm because men fake foreplay.
that one just cracked me up. soooooooo true.

Hey now... why should we be yelled at for having to put it down after we're done??? We can't help that God gave us the right equipment. ;)
Right Equipment? Then why don't you guys learn how to use it properly!!! Its usually the poor female stuck cleaning the john, and trust me, accuracy isn't always one of men's strong points! Maybe if they were designed like dart boards it would make it sporting enough to try to improve! ;)

Right Equipment? Then why don't you guys learn how to use it properly!!! Its usually the poor female stuck cleaning the john, and trust me, accuracy isn't always one of men's strong points! Maybe if they were designed like dart boards it would make it sporting enough to try to improve! ;)

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

oh suuuure, but, if we leave it down, THEN you complain about having to sit in p**s :lol:
We complain about that anyway. I'd rather that, than a camping trip - large white rumps tend to attract bugs much like porch lights!

That, or we have to pull the old "Nadia Comenici" gymnastic move to avoid the dunk tank and other hazards!

Right Equipment? Then why don't you guys learn how to use it properly!!! Its usually the poor female stuck cleaning the john, and trust me, accuracy isn't always one of men's strong points! Maybe if they were designed like dart boards it would make it sporting enough to try to improve! ;)
Hun, you think its THAT easy to aim those things? I thought youd know better, since youre a married woman :p

here's another rule about men:


men can't be bothered to learn 10 things about women, let alone 50.

Wow! Never seen such a stereotypical list in my life! 90% of the things on that list are untrue- well, for me at least. I've realized I'm totally not like the "typical" woman at all!

Hun, you think its THAT easy to aim those things? I thought youd know better, since youre a married woman :p

:rofl:

Right Equipment? Then why don't you guys learn how to use it properly!!! Its usually the poor female stuck cleaning the john, and trust me, accuracy isn't always one of men's strong points! Maybe if they were designed like dart boards it would make it sporting enough to try to improve! ;)

Use "what" properly???

;)

We complain about that anyway.

What DON'T ya'll complain about???

This shouldn't take long. :p

Use "what" properly???

;)


Don't provoke her, she may just tell ya! ;)

And for God sakes - why should WE have to check the damn toilet seat - once and for all - just put it down where God intended it to be out of sheer courtesy to us! You have NO idea of what it's like to fall into ice water in the middle of the night - butt first! :rolleyes:

HAHAHA!! I've done that so many times its not even funny...Except, I chew my brother out..

46. Women don't really care about a sense of humor in a guy despite claims to the contrary. You don't see women trampling over Tom Cruise to get to Gilbert Gottfried, do you?

Uh. I'd rather listen to Rodney Dangerfield any day than that ANNOYING guy. Every time I hear Gilbert talk, I always want to beat him to a bloody pulp. He is so NOT funny. And what's up with the squinty eyes?!! I hate Tom Cruise just as much as Gilbert.

Don't provoke her, she may just tell ya! ;)

:lol:

50 Facts about Women



4. Women need to cry. And they won't do it alone unless they know you can hear them.

5. Women will always ask questions that have no right answer, in an effort to trap you into feeling guilty.

7. Women need to feel like there are people worse off than they are. That's why soap operas and Oprah Winfrey-type shows are so successful.

10. Women can't keep secrets. They eat away at them from the inside. And they don't view it as being untrustworthy, providing they only tell two or three people.

11. Women always go to public restrooms in groups. It gives them a chance to gossip.

12. Women can't refuse to answer a ringing phone, no matter what she's doing. It might be the lottery calling.

16. Women don't understand the appeal of sports. Men seek entertainment that allows them to escape reality. Women seek entertainment that reminds them of how horrible things could be.

18. Women brush their hair before bed.

21. Women are never wrong. Apologizing is the man's responsibility, "It's there in the Bible". Hmmm, who was it that gave Adam the apple?

22. Women do not know anything about cars. "Oil- stick, oil doesn't stick?"

25. Women love cats. Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.

26. Women love to talk on the phone. A woman can visit her girlfriend for two weeks, and upon returning home, she will call the same friend and they will talk for three hours.

30. Women do NOT want an honest answer to the question, 'How do I look?'

32. The first naked man a women see is "Ken".

37. Women cannot use a map without turning the map to correspond to the direction that they are heading.

46. Women don't really care about a sense of humor in a guy despite claims to the contrary. You don't see women trampling over Tom Cruise to get to Gilbert Gottfried, do you?

The above are untrue about me. :)

4. I cry alone a lot.
5. I'm not crafty enough to ask questions like that.
7. Yeah, to an extent. But Oprah-type shows annoy the HELL out of me.
10. Yes I can. :p
11. I actually hate having other people in there.
12. I can let the phone ring until the person gives up.
16. I understand it. What I don't understand is when men (and women) get seriously pissed off when someone they like loses or when someone they hate wins. How is throwing things gonna change the outcome? My dad has a temper tantrum when say, Tiger Woods wins. Sheesh!
18. I used to, but I don't anymore.
21. I'm wrong a lot.
22. I know stuff. And it's a dipstick...not an oil stick. :p
25. Actually, I don't like cats.
26. PHONES SUCK.
30. I never even care enough to ask.
32. :lol: Probably, I just thought that was funny. Especially since he has no necessary parts.
37. I don't do that. I can imagine it in my head.
46. I care! Gilbert's just got that uglyness/annoying voice thing going on.

Hey now... why should we be yelled at for having to put it down after we're done??? We can't help that God gave us the right equipment. ;)

No, he gave you the crappy equipment. Ours is all nicely kept inside. It's safe, and no one has to see it. :D

Hun, you think its THAT easy to aim those things? I thought youd know better, since youre a married woman :p


Which is EXACTLY why I'm complaining!! Any other time he seems to know where to aim it!!! :lol:

Since when were toilets made to be "dribble glasses"??? Geez! :rolleyes: :p

Don't provoke her, she may just tell ya! ;)


:lol: You've got that right!! Hell, if he doesn't know what I'm referring to, then that explains much of the reason for the thrills and spills on the toilet seat!! :lol:

My dog has a better accuracy rating and he doesn't give a damn even! :p

HAHAHA!! I've done that so many times its not even funny...Except, I chew my brother out..


At least you CAN! To this day, I remember being 6 years old and it was after school. Both brothers were home and had their friends over. I guess one of them used the bathroom and I went rushing in after, not looking, sure enough - WHAM! I had an undershirt on and I remember even it got soaked. I also got stuck (being so little). Next thing I know, there's my two brothers and 4 of their friends standing at the bathroom door laughing their heads off at me - and made me wait until they were ready to help pull me out!!

So if this is a touchy point for me, y'all can see why now! ;) :lol:

Next thing I know, there's my two brothers and 4 of their friends standing at the bathroom door laughing their heads off at me - and made me wait until they were ready to help pull me out!! :lol:
Well, look at the bright side., at least your bros werent charging admission :rolleyes:
( "Come one come all , see the freaky "Stuck in the toilet girl" only 50 cents, 3 peeks for a Loonie!!!" ) :wave:

My turn. :D

1. Women love to shop. It is the one area of the world where they feel like they're actually in control.
Sure, I like to shop. But i'm not one of those obsessive shoppers that just HAS to go into every freakin' store in the mall to shop. I know where I want to go and I'll spend 20-30 minutes in there, maybe go to 3 more stores and that's it.

2. Women especially love a bargain. The question of "need" is irrelevant, so don't bother pointing it out. Anything on sale is fair game.
You got that right, bub. Clearance racks are just as awesome. :D

3. Women never have anything to wear. Don't question the racks of clothes in the closet; you "just don't understand".
I'm not like that. :p

4. Women need to cry. And they won't do it alone unless they know you can hear them.
I don't cry.

5. Women will always ask questions that have no right answer, in an effort to trap you into feeling guilty.
I'm not that kind of person.

6. Women love to talk. Silence intimidates them and they feel a need to fill it, even if they have nothing to say.
So not me.

7. Women need to feel like there are people worse off than they are. That's why soap operas and Oprah Winfrey-type shows are so successful.
Ewwwww. That kind of woman makes me want to smack them across the head. Annoying! I DEPISE soaps.

8. Women don't need sex as often as men do. This is because sex is more physical for men and more emotional for women. Just knowing that the man wants to have sex with them fulfills the emotional need.
Says you. :lol:

9. Women hate bugs. Even the strong-willed ones need a man around when there's a spider or a wasp involved.
I can handle any bugs now. I don't like 'em, but somebody has to do it. Only thing I will NOT go near is moths, but I still have to handle them. Anything is fair game.

10. Women can't keep secrets. They eat away at them from the inside. And they don't view it as being untrustworthy, providing they only tell two or three people.
I'm a vault, sorry.

11. Women always go to public restrooms in groups. It gives them a chance to gossip.
I don't do that.

12. Women can't refuse to answer a ringing phone, no matter what she's doing. It might be the lottery calling.
I hate the telephone.

13. Women never understand why men love toys. Men understand that they wouldn't need toys if women had an "on/off" switch.
I do. I'm not superifical, y'know.

14. Women think all beer is the same.
No. Dark beer 0wnz light beer.

15. Women keep three different shampoos and two different conditioners in the shower. After a woman showers, the bathroom will smell like a tropical rain forest.
No. I'm quite partial to 2-in-1's myself so it reduces clutter in the shower. You should talk to my stepsister, though...What a GIRL.

16. Women don't understand the appeal of sports. Men seek entertainment that allows them to escape reality. Women seek entertainment that reminds them of how horrible things could be.
Sure I do. I don't watch sports but I understand.

17. If a man goes on a seven-day trip, he'll pack five days worth of clothes and will wear some things twice; if a woman goes on a seven-day trip she'll pack 21 outfits because she doesn't know what she'll feel like wearing each day.
I pack exactly seven days' worth of clothes if I go away. I will also pack maybe 2 or 3 extra tops, in case I accidentally spill something on my shirt. Same goes for underwear and socks.

18. Women brush their hair before bed.
I HAVE to. You don't understand, since you don't have curly hair that's 7 inches past your shoulders and if you don't comb it before bed, you wake up in the morning looking like the Bride of Frankenstein. I also comb my hair if I've had it pulled back, to loosen it up. For me, it's NECESSARY since I have very long hair.

19. Watch a woman eat an ice cream cone and you'll have a pretty good idea about how she'll be in bed.
I haven't had ice cream in a cone since, wow, I think grade school. That point is moot.

20. Women are paid less than men, except for one field: Modeling.
Not true.

21. Women are never wrong. Apologizing is the man's responsibility, "It's there in the Bible". Hmmm, who was it that gave Adam the apple?
I admit when I'm wrong.

22. Women do not know anything about cars. "Oil- stick, oil doesn't stick?"
I like to think I know a little about cars. :p

23. Women have better restrooms. They get the nice chairs and red carpet. Men just get a large bowl to share.
No, no, NO!!!!!!! You ain't seen the bathrooms at Kmart or Walmart! The only ladies' restrooms I've seen with carpet and couches have been at lodges and funeral homes.

24. The average number of items in a typical woman's bathroom is 437. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.
The average number of items in my bathroom: 10.

25. Women love cats. Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.
You're just jealous. :snob:

26. Women love to talk on the phone. A woman can visit her girlfriend for two weeks, and upon returning home, she will call the same friend and they will talk for three hours.
Please consult my answer for #12.

27. A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, or get the mail.
You don't know me, then. Totally moot.

28. Women will drive miles out of their way to avoid the possibility of getting lost using a shortcut.
I don't drive.

29. Women don't try as hard as men during sex; after all, they don't fall asleep afterwards.
You know that how?

30. Women do NOT want an honest answer to the question, 'How do I look?'
I never ask that question.

31. PMS stands for: Permissible Man-Slaughter. (Or at least men think it means that. PMS also stands for Preposterous Mood Swings and Punish My Spouse.
Haha.

32. The first naked man a women see is "Ken".
I have to beg to differ here... ;)

33. Women are insecure about their weight, butt, and breast sizes.
Haha. No.

34. Women will make three right-hand turns to avoid making one left-hand turn.
Are you blind? I said in #28 that I DON'T drive. Geez!

35. "Oh, nothing," has an entirely different meaning in woman-language than it does in man-language.
When I say "oh, nothing," it means EXACTLY that.

36. Lewis Carroll's Caterpillar had nothing on women.
Huh? Who's Lewis Carroll?

37. Women cannot use a map without turning the map to correspond to the direction that they are heading.
I've never done that.

38. All women are overweight by definition; don't agree with them about it. Women always have 5 pounds to lose, but don't bring this up unless they really have 5 pounds to gain.
They're just vain. That's not me, fortunately.

39. If it is not Valentines day and you see a man in a flower shop, you can probably start up a conversation by asking, "What did you do?"
I HATE floral shops. Last time I set foot inside one was in 2003.

40. Only women understand the reason for "guest towels" and the "good china".
Huh?

41. Women want equal rights, but you rarely hear them clamoring to be let into the draft to cover the responsibilities that go with those rights. All women seek equality with men until it comes to sharing the closet, taking out the trash, and picking up the check.
I'm for equality. Who was the one that had to share a bedroom with her older sister for 15 years?

42. Origin of the word "woman" is: woo-man.
If you say so.

43. If a man ticks off a woman she will often respond by getting a fuzzy toilet cover which warms their rear, but makes it impossible for the lid to stay up thus it constantly gets peed on by the guys. (which gets them in more trouble)
Last time we had a fuzzy toilet cover was 15 years ago. I don't like toilet covers.

44. Women never check to see if the lid is up. They seem to prefer taking a flying butt leap towards the bowl and then chewing men out because they "left the seat up" instead of taking two seconds and lowering it themselves.
I don't HAVE to because I don't live with any males. Nyah nyah!

45. Women can get out of speeding tickets by pouting. This will get men arrested.
*smack* I DON'T DRIVE.

46. Women don't really care about a sense of humor in a guy despite claims to the contrary. You don't see women trampling over Tom Cruise to get to Gilbert Gottfried, do you?
Consult my answer to that here (http://www.sitcomsonline.com/boards/showpost.php?p=2628958&postcount=30).

47. Women fake orgasm because men fake foreplay.
And you know that how?

48. It's okay for women to dance with each other and not be gay. You don't see straight men dancing together.
I hate dancing.

49. Women will spend hours dressing up to go out, and then they'll go out and spend more time checking out other women. Men can never catch women checking out other men; women will always catch men checking out other women.
That's a boring hobby. I have better things to do with my time than check out other people.

50. The most embarrassing thing for women is to find another woman wearing the same dress at a formal party. You don't hear men say, "Oh-my-GOD, there's another man wearing a black tux, get me outta here!"
Hasn't happened to me yet, knock on wood. :D

Well, look at the bright side., at least your bros werent charging admission :rolleyes:
( "Come one come all , see the freaky "Stuck in the toilet girl" only 50 cents, 3 peeks for a Loonie!!!" ) :wave:


True - which actually surprises me! Had one thought of it, I'm sure they would have!! I still get razzed at holidays when the family get together about it!

True - which actually surprises me! Had one thought of it, I'm sure they would have!! I still get razzed at holidays when the family get together about it!
:lol:

Hey Zelda, all that up there sounds pretty good......looking for a BF? ;) :lol:

Hey Zelda, all that up there sounds pretty good......looking for a BF? ;) :lol:
Sorry, I'm looking for somebody in my age range. :lol:

Sorry, I'm looking for somebody in my age range. :lol:


Well, I'm 36 but I've been told that I'm immature.

;)

im almost 44, so im even MORE immature :lol:

Well, I'm 36 but I've been told that I'm immature.

;)

im almost 44, so im even MORE immature :lol:

I said I'm looking for a guy IN my age range! :schmack: Now go find me a guy that is approximately 20 to 25 years old. Git! :whip

My ex GF was 23 :eek: ( Never knew what she SAW in ME!!! :eek: )

I said I'm looking for a guy IN my age range! :schmack: Now go find me a guy that is approximately 20 to 25 years old. Git! :whip


:lol: You can tell you're in your early twenties - still got the high standards.


If you're like me, but the time you begin cruising your early thirties, the age range widens, so does the height and weight range, even balding isn't so bad anymore........oh the hell with it - if he's not a serial killer, has a job and a pulse, you'll take it!!! ;)

Which is EXACTLY why I'm complaining!! Any other time he seems to know where to aim it!!! :lol:

:brent :brent :brent

Don't even start me on that one... :p

:brent :brent :brent

Don't even start me on that one... :p


We really need to start our own "In The Gutter" thread! :lol:

I've just been in this crazy "Nate" mood lately....


or is that......never mind! ;)

My ex GF was 23 :eek: ( Never knew what she SAW in ME!!! :eek: )

How old were you when you had such a young GF? :lol:

:lol: You can tell you're in your early twenties - still got the high standards.


If you're like me, but the time you begin cruising your early thirties, the age range widens, so does the height and weight range, even balding isn't so bad anymore........oh the hell with it - if he's not a serial killer, has a job and a pulse, you'll take it!!! ;)

Of course I've got to have high standards at 20. Every other guy my age out there is partying until all hours of the night or has his pole rammed in a tight hole to make him feel better. :lol:

How old were you when you had such a young GF?

42, last year...it was HER idea ...I should have gone with my instincts and ran away!!!! :eek:

Of course I've got to have high standards at 20. Every other guy my age out there is partying until all hours of the night or has his pole rammed in a tight hole to make him feel better. :lol:


:lol:

Get 'em while you can girl cuz it's all downhill from there!!! :lol: j/k (sort of)


And don't believe for a minute that they carry fur mitts cuz it's cold out! ;) :p

At least you CAN! To this day, I remember being 6 years old and it was after school. Both brothers were home and had their friends over. I guess one of them used the bathroom and I went rushing in after, not looking, sure enough - WHAM! I had an undershirt on and I remember even it got soaked. I also got stuck (being so little). Next thing I know, there's my two brothers and 4 of their friends standing at the bathroom door laughing their heads off at me - and made me wait until they were ready to help pull me out!!

So if this is a touchy point for me, y'all can see why now! ;) :lol:

:lol: :lol: That's hilarious. It wouldn't take me very long to get to my brother and TRY to beat the poo out of him if he did that to me.

:lol: :lol: That's hilarious. It wouldn't take me very long to get to my brother and TRY to beat the poo out of him if he did that to me.


I might have, but I do remember crying!!! :lol:

Actually, major disadvantage - my brothers are 6 and 10 years older than me. I'm surprised one didn't hold me down while the other flushed actually. Guess I should count my blessings looking back!

I might have, but I do remember crying!!! :lol:

Actually, major disadvantage - my brothers are 6 and 10 years older than me. I'm surprised one didn't hold me down while the other flushed actually. Guess I should count my blessings looking back!

:rofl:That would have sucked - literally. ;) My brother is 4 years older than me. Not too much of an age difference when you're older..

They're sure not true for all women believe me. There's too many to pick through, but it doesn't really start getting real until #15 for the mostpart. (At least in my case).


And for God sakes - why should WE have to check the damn toilet seat - once and for all - just put it down where God intended it to be out of sheer courtesy to us! You have NO idea of what it's like to fall into ice water in the middle of the night - butt first! :rolleyes:


Some one may have commented on this already but... if you want us to have the courtesy to put it down when we're done then you could have the courtesy to put it up when you're done. Goes both ways. Be polite to us and we'll be polite to you. :D

Some one may have commented on this already but... if you want us to have the courtesy to put it down when we're done then you could have the courtesy to put it up when you're done. Goes both ways. Be polite to us and we'll be polite to you. :D


Hey - I'd have no problem with that, but I have 5 cats - a few of which drink out of the upstairs john sometimes - I'd end up with a housefull of wet *******!! Courtesy to kitties to ya know! ;) :happyface

We really need to start our own "In The Gutter" thread! :lol:

I've just been in this crazy "Nate" mood lately....


or is that......never mind! ;)

Me too... could be because the tropics are relatively calm(after an insane first 3 weeks of July), and now I feel "bored". :lol:

:lol: You can tell you're in your early twenties - still got the high standards.


If you're like me, but the time you begin cruising your early thirties, the age range widens, so does the height and weight range, even balding isn't so bad anymore........oh the hell with it - if he's not a serial killer, has a job and a pulse, you'll take it!!! ;)

:rofl:!!!!

You should visit the "bye-bye" thread then - we're coming up with ideas for knitting with body fluids! :D

Hey - I'd have no problem with that, but I have 5 cats - a few of which drink out of the upstairs john sometimes - I'd end up with a housefull of wet *******!! Courtesy to kitties to ya know! ;) :happyface


:lol: :lol: :lol:

Hey - I'd have no problem with that, but I have 5 cats - a few of which drink out of the upstairs john sometimes - I'd end up with a housefull of wet *******!! Courtesy to kitties to ya know! ;) :happyface
:eek:

Hey - I'd have no problem with that, but I have 5 cats - a few of which drink out of the upstairs john sometimes - I'd end up with a housefull of wet *******!! Courtesy to kitties to ya know! ;) :happyface

My kitty went for a swim in the toilet one time. He didn't like it too much. And I didn't like it when I had to pull him out. I got him back by giving him a bath. :lol:

Reminds me of my nickname for the toilet.... Hamster's whirlpool bath

Too bad this thread died....it was soooooo funny :crying:

I disagree with the sex comment. I am an animal and I have gotten headaches trying to get a man to "let loose".

I disagree with the sex comment. I am an animal and I have gotten headaches trying to get a man to "let loose".

Do I want to know??? :lol:

. Men are like ...Laxatives ..... They irritate the s**t out of you.
2. Men are like .......Bananas ...... The older they get, the less firm they are.
3. Men are like .Weather ..... Nothing can be done to change them.
4. Men are like .....Blenders .... You need one, but you're not quite sure why.
5. Men are like .....Chocolate Bars .. Sweet, smooth, &they usually head right for your hips.
6. Men are like ...Commercials ...... You can't believe a word they say.
7. Men are like ..Department Stores .... Their clothes are always 1/2 off.
8. Men are like ........Government Bonds .... They take soooooooo long to mature.
9. Men are like ..Mascara ..... They usually run at the first sign of emotion.
10. Men are like ......Popcorn ..... They satisfy you, but only for a little while.?
11. Men are like .... Snowstorms .. You never know when they're coming, how many inches you'll get or how long it will last.
12. Men are like .....Lava Lamps .. Fun to look at, but not very bright.
13. Men are like Parking Spots ....... All the good ones are taken, the rest are handicapped.
THAT'S ALL I WANTED TO SAY

Waiting for the backlash.......:whistle:

. Men are like ...Laxatives ..... They irritate the s**t out of you.
2. Men are like .......Bananas ...... The older they get, the less firm they are.
3. Men are like .Weather ..... Nothing can be done to change them.
4. Men are like .....Blenders .... You need one, but you're not quite sure why.
5. Men are like .....Chocolate Bars .. Sweet, smooth, &they usually head right for your hips.
6. Men are like ...Commercials ...... You can't believe a word they say.
7. Men are like ..Department Stores .... Their clothes are always 1/2 off.
8. Men are like ........Government Bonds .... They take soooooooo long to mature.
9. Men are like ..Mascara ..... They usually run at the first sign of emotion.
10. Men are like ......Popcorn ..... They satisfy you, but only for a little while.?
11. Men are like .... Snowstorms .. You never know when they're coming, how many inches you'll get or how long it will last.
12. Men are like .....Lava Lamps .. Fun to look at, but not very bright.
13. Men are like Parking Spots ....... All the good ones are taken, the rest are handicapped.
THAT'S ALL I WANTED TO SAY

That was funny...

:rofl:

Thanx Brian. It goes both ways.

The following also apply to women: :p

Women are like ...Laxatives ..... They irritate the s**t out of you.
Women are like .Weather ..... Nothing can be done to change them.
Women are like .....Blenders .... You need one, but you're not quite sure why.
Women are like ...Commercials ...... You can't believe a word they say.

All true... especially the first two.

:wallbang

Unfortunately, a lot of the things said about women are true! Ah, women... so complicated. Don't know why I even bother dating them. ;)

I have a question. Why do men always leave the toilet seat up? My brother used to and I found myself close to falling in several times. Arrgh.

Unfortunately, a lot of the things said about women are true! Ah, women... so complicated. Don't know why I even bother dating them. ;)

I have a question. Why do men always leave the toilet seat up? My brother used to and I found myself close to falling in several times. Arrgh.
I have lived in a house with a father and brother. I have been married. They never left the seat up. They either put the seat down or the seat and the lid down. I guess I was lucky.

I have lived in a house with a father and brother. I have been married. They never left the seat up. They either put the seat down or the seat and the lid down. I guess I was lucky.
You were lucky! My father and brother always left it down, it's so disgusting. I guess I wouldn't understand since I'm a girl and that means I don't have to lift the lid up, but I'm sure if I was a guy I would try to remember to put it down. That's just laziness. And it's disgusting too.

25. Women love cats. Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.


I love cats!!! I'm a guy! I had two cats and I couldn't wait to get home and cuddle them! :cat:

I love cats. It's Cats I hate! (That show sucks!)

#51. Women can't tell time. My mother dragged me and my sister into the mall one day when we were little. She said she'd be five minutes; it took five hours! :eek: It was light when we went in, and dark when we got out! ohno:

Do I want to know??? :lol:
I DO!!!....Tell me MORE, Irene!!!!! ;)

I DO!!!....Tell me MORE, Irene!!!!! ;)
I don't talk. I AM ALL ACTION!!!!!!! ;)

I don't talk. I AM ALL ACTION!!!!!!! ;)
Cools, meet me in 70s Sitcoms , in Fonzies office :p

I said I'm looking for a guy IN my age range! :schmack: Now go find me a guy that is approximately 20 to 25 years old. Git! :whip
I am, however, getting less picky. ;) :D

:lol: You can tell you're in your early twenties - still got the high standards.


If you're like me, but the time you begin cruising your early thirties, the age range widens, so does the height and weight range, even balding isn't so bad anymore........oh the hell with it - if he's not a serial killer, has a job and a pulse, you'll take it!!! ;)

True that girl! :D And if you have your own car and good hygiene, you're A+++++

. Men are like ...Laxatives ..... They irritate the s**t out of you.
2. Men are like .......Bananas ...... The older they get, the less firm they are.
3. Men are like .Weather ..... Nothing can be done to change them.
4. Men are like .....Blenders .... You need one, but you're not quite sure why.
5. Men are like .....Chocolate Bars .. Sweet, smooth, &they usually head right for your hips.
6. Men are like ...Commercials ...... You can't believe a word they say.
7. Men are like ..Department Stores .... Their clothes are always 1/2 off.
8. Men are like ........Government Bonds .... They take soooooooo long to mature.
9. Men are like ..Mascara ..... They usually run at the first sign of emotion.
10. Men are like ......Popcorn ..... They satisfy you, but only for a little while.?
11. Men are like .... Snowstorms .. You never know when they're coming, how many inches you'll get or how long it will last.
12. Men are like .....Lava Lamps .. Fun to look at, but not very bright.
13. Men are like Parking Spots ....... All the good ones are taken, the rest are handicapped.
THAT'S ALL I WANTED TO SAY

:rotflmao: And yet true....

:rotflmao: And yet true....
LOL. PMS= Putting up with Men's S**t :lol:

13. Men are like Parking Spots ....... All the good ones are taken
This applies to women too :p