Bobby F.
07-29-2005, 11:22 AM
A young Southern boy goes off to college, but about 1/3 of the way
through the semester, he has foolishly squandered what money his
parents gave him. Then he gets an idea. He calls his Redneck father.
"Dad," he says, "you won't believe the wonders that modern education
are coming up with" Why, they actually have a program here that will
teach dogs how to talk!" "That's absolutely amazing!" his father says.
"How do I get Big Red in that program?" "Just send him down here with
$1000," the boy says, "I'll get him into the course."
So, his father sends the dog and the $1000. About 2/3 of the way through
the semester, the money runs out. The boy calls his father again. "So how's
Big Red doing, son?" his father asks. "Awesome, dad, he's talking up a
storm," he says, "but you just won't believe this - they've had such good
results with this program, that they've implemented a new one to teach the
animals how to READ!" "READ!?" says his father, "No kidding! What do I have
to do to get him in that program?" "Just send $2,500, I'll get him in the
class.
"His father sends the money.
The boy has a problem. At the end of the year, his father will find out that
the
dog can neither talk nor read. So he shoots the dog. When he gets home, his
father is all excited. "Where's Big Red? I just can't wait to see him talk
and
read something!"
"Dad," the boy says, "I have some grim news. This morning, when I got out of
the shower, Big Red was in the living room kicking back in the recliner,
reading
the morning paper, like he usually does. Then he turned to me and asked,
'So,
is your daddy still messin' around with that little redhead who lives on Oak
Street?'
The father says, "I hope you shot that lyin' son of a bitch!"
"I sure did, Dad!"
"That's my boy..."
through the semester, he has foolishly squandered what money his
parents gave him. Then he gets an idea. He calls his Redneck father.
"Dad," he says, "you won't believe the wonders that modern education
are coming up with" Why, they actually have a program here that will
teach dogs how to talk!" "That's absolutely amazing!" his father says.
"How do I get Big Red in that program?" "Just send him down here with
$1000," the boy says, "I'll get him into the course."
So, his father sends the dog and the $1000. About 2/3 of the way through
the semester, the money runs out. The boy calls his father again. "So how's
Big Red doing, son?" his father asks. "Awesome, dad, he's talking up a
storm," he says, "but you just won't believe this - they've had such good
results with this program, that they've implemented a new one to teach the
animals how to READ!" "READ!?" says his father, "No kidding! What do I have
to do to get him in that program?" "Just send $2,500, I'll get him in the
class.
"His father sends the money.
The boy has a problem. At the end of the year, his father will find out that
the
dog can neither talk nor read. So he shoots the dog. When he gets home, his
father is all excited. "Where's Big Red? I just can't wait to see him talk
and
read something!"
"Dad," the boy says, "I have some grim news. This morning, when I got out of
the shower, Big Red was in the living room kicking back in the recliner,
reading
the morning paper, like he usually does. Then he turned to me and asked,
'So,
is your daddy still messin' around with that little redhead who lives on Oak
Street?'
The father says, "I hope you shot that lyin' son of a bitch!"
"I sure did, Dad!"
"That's my boy..."