What is it?

i always think of margaret telling off bj when his wife had to go to work in san fran. in the officers bar she tells him after bj is frantacilly tryin to win bets on pinball "if you think your brand of suffering is worse than anyone else's" or what ever she said - that one always sticks out in my mind

i always think of margaret telling off bj when his wife had to go to work in san fran. in the officers bar she tells him after bj is frantacilly tryin to win bets on pinball "if you think your brand of suffering is worse than anyone else's" or what ever she said - that one always sticks out in my mind

My favorites quote comes in the episode dealing with Frank investing money in the stock market and Frank is questioned by BJ and Hawk why he is investing. Frank says "...because war brings profits..." and Hawkeye replies "...then what ever happen to my 2000 shares of Gestapo..." very funny line from Hawk.

Originally posted by Brett Ferino:
What is it?

Mine comes from an episode in which Charles needed to find a place to stay (Can't remember exactly why, or what else happened in the episode! LOL). He goes to see Margaret in her tent and says to her, "Please let me be frank" and Margaret flinches just a little and Charles is like, "No, LITTLE "F", not that other guy!" I just thought that line was cute!



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(After Mary's famous job interview)
Lou Grant:You know what? You've got spunk!
Mary Richards:Well, yes.
Lou Grant:I HATE SPUNK!!!
The Mary Tyler Moore Show
Visit www.mtmshow.cjb.net (http://www.mtmshow.cjb.net)

Said by Major Freedman "Ladies and gentlemen take my advice, pull down your pants and slide on the ice."

Hi all,
There are so very, very many.
Two that immediately come to mind are:

Hawkeye (to Col. Potter): "Colonel . . . Sherm . . . you could give me a hundred good reasons to leave, and I can't give you one good reason to stay. Stay anyway."

+


Klinger (to Margaret): "Major, you're wrong. Nobody was trying to make a fool out of you - we just wanted you to have your ring back . . . You don't have to be grateful. But, would it hurt to at least appreciate the effort??"

------------------
Later,
Art

[This message has been edited by Artfiore1 (edited 09-04-2001).]

Mine is from the episode where at the very end, Charles is dictating into a machine a letter to his sister. He is making a cup of tea and tries to pour out some sugar. When he opens the lid to the container, he pulls out a rubber chicken!!! He says, "get me the hell out of here!!!!"

I have a few...
I like where hawkeye says, "I will not carry a gun. I'll carry your books, I'll carry a torch, I'll carry a tune, I'll carry on, carry over, carry forward, Cary Grant, cash and carry, carry me back to Old Virginia, I'll even 'hari-kari' if you show me how, but I will not carry a gun!"
LOL
One of my other favorites is when Radar reads the letter that Hawkeye threatens to send to Frank's wife, and it says "Dear Mrs. Burns, I regret to inform that your husband has been seen out of uniform, and maybe you would like to know with who."

My faves:

From "A Smattering of Intelligence" the episode that intorduces Col. Flagg. Trapper's friend, the guy from the CID (?) assigned to watch Col. Flagg, comments on Maj. Burns as he is leaving The Swamp:

"Pretty gung ho!"
Hawkeye: (to the tune of "Jimmy Crack Corn") ...and I don't care.

From "Adam's Ribs"

Hawkeye: I've eaten a river of liver and an ocean of fish. I've eaten so much fish, I'm ready to grow gills. I've eaten so much liver, the only way I can make love is if I'm smothered in bacon and onions.

From "Mad Dogs and Servicemen" the episode where Radar gets bitten by a possibly rabid dog. Henry and Radar think they have found the dog living with a Korean family, and that the family has cooked the dog...

Henry: Radar, I think these folks took your dog home in a people bag. Must've been a hell of a bun!

From "Tea and Empathy" the episode where the 4077th needs a donor for an arterial transplant. Not having one in camp, they go to an English MASH.

English Colonel: An English artery in an American leg. I suppose he'll develop an insatiable desire to drive on the left side of the road.

From "Fade Out, Fade In" the first episode with Charles

Charles: Know this. You can cut me off from the civilized world. You can incarcerate me with two moronic cellmates. You can torture me with your thrice daily swill, but you cannot break the spirit of a Winchester. My voice shall be heard from this wilderness and I shall be delivered from this fetid and festering sewer.

My all time fave; from "Bulletin Board." Henry is giving a sex lecture to the enlisted men:

Henry: Sex happens to be one of the most important things in life in as much as each one of us is one or the other gender of it once we're born, which is the direct result of the act of it.

No one can hear just one.

Steve

My fav quote's are.
on one Christmas ep. when Klinger brings Charles dinner.

Charles- Whats the catch?
Klinger- that this meal is to remain anonmous an old family tradition.
Charles- thanks Max.

When Hawkeye is getting 16 people in a jeep.

nurse- Can I get a hernia?
Hawkeye- Rent one first see If you like it.

Col Blake: to Hawkeye, after Hawk loses a patient on the operating table, and is upset.


Rule #1 is, young men die

Rule #2 is, doctors cant change Rule #1

From the episode where a personal friend of Hawkeyes dies on the operating table. Colonel Blake tells him "all I know is what they taught us in command school. Rule #1 about war is that young men die. Rule #2 is that doctors can't change Rule #1.":heart:

WHERE DO I START? TO QUOTE JIMMY DURANTE "I GOT A MILLION OF 'EM"

In Patent 4077 when Hawkeye and BJ are inventing a new clamp. Zale builds it for them and Charles wants to try it out. BJ says "Ah the acid test" and Hawkeye says "The jack acid test". :D

HOT LIPS: (TO COL. BLAKE)
"ONCE AGAIN, I'M FORCED TO GO OVER YOUR HEAD"!

COL. BLAKE: "OH, YOU'VE DONE THAT SO MANY TIMES, I'VE GOT ATHLETES SCALP"!


HOT LIPS TO HAWKEYE:

HOT LIPS: "CAPTAIN PEIRCE"!!
HAWKEYE: "LATER, BABY"
HOT LIPS: "THAT'S MAJOR TO YOU"!
HAWKEYE: "OK, LATER MAJOR BABY"

NURSE TO HAWKEYE: "WHAT IS IT"?
HAWKEYE: "I'M NOT SURE".
NURSE: "WHAT DOES IT LOOK LIKE"?
HAWKEYE: "A BIG RED BIRD, WITH FUZZY PINK FEET".
TRAPPER: (WALKING UP) "HEY, HAWK, YOU SEE THAT?"
HAWKEYE: "WHY, WHAT'D YOU SEE"?
TRAPPER: "A BIG RED BIRD, WITH FUZZY PINK FEET".
HAWKEYE: (TURNING TO THE NURSE) "SEE, I TOLD YOU"!

Probably the entire first few minutes of movie tonight:

"Can't we all just get along?"
"I had a long little doggie once."
"Oh. A dauschaund. What happened to him?"
"He got mustarded out."
"I relish these conversations."

Then again,
drunken Margaret to Trapper:
"I really could have gone for you....that curly blonde hair and that crooked smile. You're really built too, you son of a gun..." "i'm not so think as you drunk I am."

also, some of Hot Lips other lines in that scene, when she was drunk and talking to Trapper "There you are...you AMINAL!" and "You know what you are, TrapperJohnIntyre"?

From Mail Call Three (season 6, I believe)...
Radar to BJ, who is manhandling his Teddy Bear...
"Hey, his head aint on too good either!"

Frank: "Everyone..hates me, don't they"?
Radar: "Just your guts, sir".

Frank: "I didn't come here to be liked"!
Radar: "You certanily came to the right place, sir".

the cook after Frank says he's putting him on report: "Oh, please dondo that, sir. I have a wife who's depending on my pay".
Frank: "Sargent, as I recall I threatened to put you on report last year. I couldn't because you said your wife had just died".
cook: "Yes, sir. "But she got better. They only thought she was dead. She was stiff and everything".

I've been doing Hawkeye quotes in my signature since I signed on here at Sitcoms Online. So many good ones...Hmmm...okay, one from "Big Mac:"

"Does he like his ice cream on top of his beef stew like the rest of us?"

;)

a drunken Hot Lips to Trapper: "....and now you're going home. And I'm stuck here with needle nose". (Frank)

From "The General Flipped at Dawn"
Gen. Steele (thinking Hawkeye's a reporter who's interviewing him)

"And tell Mrs. Steele thanks for the stewed prunes. Best thing since the gatling gun". (turns to Henry) "Speaking of which, wher's the little Generals room"? (Henry points out the door) "Oh, it's right over there, sir". (Steele walks out) Henry says "Oh no, sir, not there. That's the, uh...fine, sir. Whatever"!

Charles walks into the swamp, sees B.J.-

Charles: "Hunnicut"
B.J.: "Winchester"
Charles: "Where's your friend Pierce"?
B.J.: "It's thursday"
Charles: "So"
B.J.: "The nurses hang their underwear on the line. He takes a sandwich and makes a day of it".

Frank (after seeing Hawkeye & Trapper in bed in their underwear)-"It's disgusting sleeping in your underwear"!

Hawkeye-"Beats sleeping in yours"!

S6 Hawkeye Get Your Gun

Col. Potter: I said fire that weapon
Hawkeye: Alright (to gun) You're fired. (to Potter) I did it as gently as I could
Potter: That was an order Pierce
Hawkeye: Oh waiter, would you take this man's order please

:crazy:

I love when Hennery is under the collapsed latriene
Klinger: If you can hear me knock 3 times, If you can't knock twice
(two knocks)
Klinger "Oh my gosh, he's dead!!!

Radar.......MY BEAR WENT OFF!!!!!!!!!

Frank to Radar-"The men...hate me, don't they"?
Radar-"Just your guts, sir".
Frank-"Well I don't care! I didn't come here to be liked"!
Radar-"You certanily came to the right place".


Radar sees Hawkeye asleep in Col. Blakes office-
Radar-"Sir"?
Hawkeye-"What is it Radar"
Radar-"You're not supposed to go to sleep".
Hawkeye-"I'm not asleep; I'm studing the insides of my eyelids".


Hawkeye to Radar-"Go on, get mad. I love it when those little wisps of steam come out of your ears".

See my signature :)

Hot Lips to Henry: "I see that once again I'm forced to go over your head".
Henry: "You've done that so many times I've got athletes scalp"!

(I think I posted that one sometime back; if I did; sorry)

Hot Lips to Henry: "I see that once again I'm forced to go over your head".
Henry: "You've done that so many times I've got athletes scalp"!

(I think I posted that one sometime back; if I did; sorry)

It's still a great quote :)

Trapper: "We definately don't need a nug or a gun!"

"Get me out of here you animals!" "Out of where Frank?" "I'm boxed in!" "We all feel like that at times Frank" :lol:

"Get me out of here you animals!" "Out of where Frank?" "I'm boxed in!" "We all feel like that at times Frank" :lol:

Ahh...now that's a great episode I haven't watched for awhile :)

I love it when his finger pops out and circles the perimeter of the air holes they put in for him and he realizes he has been boxed - it even cracks up the people who aren't fans when they watch it!

- it even cracks up the people who aren't fans when they watch it!

Are there really those people out there lol?!

as hard as it is to believe; there is!:lol:

haha..we'll soon convert them all! ;)

My all-time favorite was Hawkeye toasting with Trapper and saying, "Let's make a pact about.....let's never stop."

A drunk Col. Potter falls down, Hawkeye and B.J. help him up.
Potter: "Did I fall down"?
Hawk & Beej: "No sir".
Potter: "I didn't think so".


Hot Lips to Henry (before she became "Margeret")
"Once again; I'm forced to go over your head"!
Henry: "Oh; you've done that so many times I've got athletes scalp"!

Hot Lips in "THE LONG JOHN FLAP"-"Somebody stole my underwear"!

Hawkeye: "I finally make a house call and the house is gone."

Its hard to pick a quote, but, i can tell you my fave scene of all time.....Frank has stolen a tank, and has driven it over Col Potter's Jeep....Potter gets out his pistol, takes careful aim and shoots the Jeep ( to end it's suffering! )

Magaret telling BJ, If you think your brand of suffering is worse than anyone elses, then don't come running to me for sympathy.

Hose hockey!

Goodbye Farret Face

Jockularity jockularity!

Charles(to Hawkeye & B.J.): Oh, by the way, you do realize that you didn't include anything in the time capsule from the infamous Major Burns!

Hawkeye: I was going to throw in a scaple, but I didn't want to include any deadly weapons.

or how about this:

B.J.: Terrific, Frank!

Hawkeye: Especially when you did that figure eight over Colonel Potter.

Col. Potter: Burns, have you got any excuse for that jackass behavior?

Margaret: I'm sure that he has, Colonel!

Sorry to be down on Frank Burns, but those are two of the memorable lines from M*A*S*H, especially with him being mentioned.

"I'm not so think as your drunk I am!"~Margaret

"'Tis better to have loved and lost, then to never... oh, give me a drink."~Charles

"It's nice to be nice... to the nice."~Frank

"Frank, why don't you let that cut under your nose heal?"~Trapper

"Oh, Frank. You're so above average."~Margaret

"This isn't one of my sermons. I expect you to listen."~Father Mulcahy

"No wonder they execute people at dawn. Who wants to live at six A.M.?"~Hawkeye

"Insanity is just a state of mind."~Hawkeye

"You're always wrong Frank. That's what's so right about you."~Henry

"Due To circumstances beyond our control, lunch will be served today."~PA System

"My own father didn't have me until he was 63, and the first time we played peek-a-boo together he had a stroke."~Radar

"How should I know? I dropped out of school to become a doctor."~Trapper

"Radar, turn on the news. Maybe the war just ended and I won't have to talk to her."~Henry

"Radar, whatever it is, sign it, cancel it, or order five more."~Henry

"Hello, bed. It's me, Captain Pierce. I'm coming in there."~Hawkeye

"Congratulations, Mrs. O'Reilly, it's a bear."~Colonel Potter

"Margaret, I'm honored, touched... and aroused."~Hawkeye

"I'm too frightened to be scared."~Hawkeye

"Life, Liberty, and Pursuit of happy hour."~Hawkeye

"Aw, Frank... you're not going to write your mother again."~Trapper

"I do one thing at a time, I do it very well and then I move on."~Charles

"Freeze, Korea! This is a stick-up!"~Henry

"That's not my department, sir - intelligence is something I try to avoid."~Frank

"I've never met a nurse that didn't register."~Trapper

Fr. Mulcahey in "OUR FINEST HOUR"-"When it's cold out, like it is now, today-and the surgeon cuts into a body...steam will rise from it. And the surgeon will pause for a minute to warm his hands over it....can anyone look at that and not be moved"? (this was an actual quote said by one of the doctors at a real MASH unit in Korea when Larry Gelbart and Burt Metcalfe visited it in 1974)

interviewer to Frank-"Would you like to say hello to the people back home"?
Frank-"Oh no, I know how everyone feels about me"!

to Radar-"Where are you from"?
Radar-"Ottumwah, Iowa! "It's a small town, nothing exiting ever happens there. Although once Elenaor Roosovelts car got stuck at the railroad tracks. Some people heard some screaming and said 'Hey! That sounds like Eleanor Roosovelt'! And sure enough, it was"!

"I'll carry your books, I'll carry a torch, I'll carry a tune...I'll carry on, carry over, carry forward, Cary Grant, cash and carry, carry me back to old Virginny...I'll even Hari Kari if you show me how, but i will not carry a gun!"

- Hawkeye

My fav is in my sig and then there's a few others....

Hawkeye: I will not carry a gun, Frank. When I got into this war I had a very clear understanding with the Pentagon. No guns. I'll carry your books, I'll carry a torch, I'll carry a tune, I'll carry on, carry over, carry forward, Cary Grant, cash and carry, carry me back to old Virginie, I'll even hari-kari if you show me how, but I will not carry a gun!
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Hawkeye: What a unique device, the human tush. An architectural marvel, one of a kind... actually two of a kind. Designed to support our weight for a lifetime of sitting, it also has the subtlety to do the samba. And when attached to certain members of the female species at a time when light summer dresses are worn can cause some of us to drive our cars straight up a lamp post.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Potter: Where's your gun?
Hawkeye: Sulking under my cot. We're not on speaking terms.
Potter: Go kiss and make up. You're taking it with you.
Hawkeye: Colonel, if I touch that gun, I'll just trigger another argument.
Potter: Pierce, you're taking your sidearm!
Hawkeye, holding up each arm in turn: Correct. I'm taking along my right side arm and my left side arm.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Potter: I said fire that weapon!
Hawkeye: All right. (to the gun) You're fired. (to Potter) I did it as gently as I could.
Potter: That was an order, Pierce.
Hawkeye, snapping his fingers: Oh waiter, would you take this man's order, please?
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Hawkeye: Stand up straight.
Trapper: I'm standing straight. The country's crooked.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
(Hawkeye and Trapper are in Houlihan's cot)
Margaret (exasperated): What're you doing in my bed?!
Hawkeye: The first one was too hard...
Trapper: And the second one was too soft...
----------------------------------------------------------------------- Hawkeye: And one last thing...
Margaret (agitated): What!?
Hawkeye: Who is this man in bed next to me?
Trapper: You don't know me; I followed you home from the movies.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Tommy Gillis: I'm keeping my country safe from the Communist menace!
Hawkeye: You used to BE a Communist!
Tommy Gillis: Then I'm keeping my country safe from ME!
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Frank (while Hawkeye is eating while wearing his surgery scrubs): All right, what's all that funny business there?
Hawkeye: There's nothing funny here to me, Frank. I happen to be very serious about this piece of liver.
Frank: Liver? Where did you get liver? They're serving hamburgers.
Hawkeye: This is mine and you can't have any.
Frank: Okay, okay. But where did you get it?
Hawkeye: From that North Korean.
Frank: What North Korean? The--you mean the one that--
Hawkeye: The one that croaked.

Radar comes into the swamp-

FRANK: "WHAT DO YOU WANT"?

RADAR: "Oh, excuse me sir, I just want to talk to the guys".

FRANK: " 'GUYS'? 'GUYS'? THAT is Captain Pierce! THAT is Captain Hunnicut! I am Major Burns! WE ARE NOT 'GUYS' "!

B.J.: "I thought I was".

I love the one hawkeye says about carrying a gun!

^^^That one was weird!