Quote: Men kick friendship around like a football, but it doesn't seem to crack. Women treat it like glass and it goes to pieces.--Anne Morrow Lindbergh

It seems to be true.... I have done this myself, being a female.... :eek: ;)

I have been noticing that guy's views of friendships (no matter with which sex) seem to be more relaxing. It's as though guys don't focus too much on defining their relationships (non-romantic ones) with males/females and just let things "flow." I find that females tend to talk with an acquiantance or someone they have begun conversing with a few times and immediately pegging a "friendship" with males/females. It's as though females tend to focus so much on wondering if the other person considers them a friend. They just beat themselves over it with some people they wish to befriend. I know I've done the fair share myself. I don't know how valid these are, but it seems to be the case that I've seen and heard.

What has everyone found on this interesting theory? Why are guys more relaxed than females? Hmmm....

Yeah, that's definitely true. I don't know about guys, but I feel that as a girl I have to have really close friends. Like it's a priority. I can't really explain it. I have both girl and guy friends, and talking with a guy is easier than talking to a girl sometimes.

I overanalyze a lot of things, but friendship is not one of them. Whatever happens, happens. I try not to start any (serious) trouble, and no trouble seems to happen. Girls definitely make more drama than necessary, as do some guys, but girls have it perfected. If I enjoy being with someone, whether they're a guy or a girl, then I consider them a friend.

It just depends on the person, male, or female. :D

Barwars: Ah, interesting.... Thanks for your male perspective. Is there anyone you instant message with who you do consider as a friend? Or are online people more like "chatting buddies?"

I consider the people I IM friends because some of them know more about me than people in real life do.

my best friend and most of my closer friends are guys...
i have a few close female friends but they take so much more work than friendships w/ my boys. guys definitely have a more laid back approach to it, friendships just sort of form over time and last, while with girls its more dramatic and have to be proactive or they fall apart.

Barwars: Ah, interesting.... Thanks for your male perspective. Is there anyone you instant message with who you do consider as a friend? Or are online people more like "chatting buddies?"

Yes, but I dont think I would ever bring their name up in a "real life" conversation.

Ah, interesting. Why not? Would you if you met them?

Also, everyone: do you also think there is a difference in writing style between males and females? Just like in person how there is the non-verbals. Hmm...

Men make better friends; most of my close friendships are guys. I do not trust women (had too many bad experiences with women as pals).

Hmmmm... I think some people are misunderstanding the point of this thread. I wasn't asking who made better friendships.... I meant it as wondering what the communication styles are with both male's and female's friendships. And I am curious as to WHY males seem to be more relaxed and not as into worrying about labeling relationship definitions of their friends. That's a different topic, and I think there was a thread for that a couple of weeks ago. :lol: :p

Women friendships when they go bad seem to drag on. Where as men can get pissed at one another one day and be out at the bar having a beer with each other the next.

Women friendships when they go bad seem to drag on. Where as men can get pissed at one another one day and be out at the bar having a beer with each other the next.


I agree - that's the reason for the most part, I've had better friendships with guys. I always seemed to be considered more of "one of the guys" and didn't get many dates, but the majority of my friends have always been male.

I'll get mad, but once it's out, its forgotten and I move on. I rarely hold grudges.

I consider the people I IM friends because some of them know more about me than people in real life do.
Yup, I'll agree with that , in spades....as for real life, I find it hard to fathom why women tend to let little things put giant wedges between them and their friends/lovers, once a "fight" is over, you say sorry, you move on to the next phase and should NEVER bring it up again< Why can't women DO that??<< Please gals, clue in an ignorant male :confused:

Yup, I'll agree with that , in spades....as for real life, I find it hard to fathom why women tend to let little things put giant wedges between them and their friends/lovers, once a "fight" is over, you say sorry, you move on to the next phase and should NEVER bring it up again< Why can't women DO that??<< Please gals, clue in an ignorant male :confused:


Don't know - can't help you there. It's what's driven me nuts about trying to have friendships with girls. I'm not like that - I blow up and forget it. Maybe it's some hormonal competitive thing or something, because I've noticed as I get older, and my female friends age, it's not as bad as when we were younger. Not only are grudges not held, but we just don't get into the fights the same. I used to hold grudges in my teens, but it only hurts you - its just not worth the effort.

i've been through friends like they're water.

Don't know - can't help you there. It's what's driven me nuts about trying to have friendships with girls. I'm not like that - I blow up and forget it. Maybe it's some hormonal competitive thing or something, because I've noticed as I get older, and my female friends age, it's not as bad as when we were younger. Not only are grudges not held, but we just don't get into the fights the same. I used to hold grudges in my teens, but it only hurts you - its just not worth the effort.
Please, tell that to my GF :lol:

Yup, I'll agree with that , in spades....as for real life, I find it hard to fathom why women tend to let little things put giant wedges between them and their friends/lovers, once a "fight" is over, you say sorry, you move on to the next phase and should NEVER bring it up again< Why can't women DO that??<< Please gals, clue in an ignorant male :confused:
:lol: True, true, true....

If it's one thing I am realizing with my first exclusive male friendship I am forming with this guy is the gender communication style. Yes, I am getting to see where this "holding a grudge" takes into place a lot with females whereas males just let it go and move on. With this friendship I am acquiring with this male friend, I would say I am liking the "not holding grudges" concept A LOT! it's true... everyone should JUST move on! Life's too short and it's silly!

With my male friend, he is that way. He jokes A LOT (even hoarsely with lack of consideration that others sometimes don't know he's joking), and we have argued over our communication styles where we both get annoyed with each other. It's so annoying at the time, but then we've managed to just continue "talking" later as though that incident didn't happen. Does that make for a withstanding true friendship? Just having fun with each other in this manner moreso that just "talking out" feelings with female friends?

I wonder about friendships and their strengths of it.... what is crossing the line against actually ending a friendship for good? That's just quite a mystery of how friendships are weathered.

:lol: True, true, true....

what is crossing the line against actually ending a friendship for good? That's just quite a mystery of how friendships are weathered.

Well, id say you cross the line when you cant agree to disagree and move on to other more important parts of the relationship , but, what do I know ?
:confused:

my best friend is a guy :love:

Well, id say you cross the line when you cant agree to disagree and move on to other more important parts of the relationship , but, what do I know ?
:confused:
Hmmm....food for thought, actually...

I asked this because of what people were saying how guys don't hold grudges and move on. I guess this is why this guy I am trying to befriend has not already given up on me and just said, "Sheesh! She's too much to handle." I guess it's because he just doesn't little our squabbles get in the way and just "moves on." I admire that in him. It's that guy gender thing, I guess.

Well, id say you cross the line when you cant agree to disagree and move on to other more important parts of the relationship , but, what do I know ?
:confused:


Nope - you're dead on Michel!!! My husband and I don't agree on a LOT of things - we're one of those "opposites attract" couples. We just naturally learned to agree to disagree and I've since carried that into my other relationships. It's been great!! Really it's a huge load off when you don't carry around all this baggage. If its in areas that aren't directly conflicting with the relationship (as political and even religious beliefs) it still CAN work.

If its in areas that aren't directly conflicting with the relationship (as political and even religious beliefs) it still CAN work.

TELL me about it , Im a slightly right of centre liberal and my GF is a right winger, and as long as we stay away from politics, we get on famously! :lol: