Okay,okay..I know i have posted soo many threads(lol)but i LOVE posting threads like these!Okay,i did fave episodes,but what are your fave TMTMS quotes?One of mine is in my sig...anybody else?

I have so many. But I'll go with one: "Eric this is my friend, Rhoda Morgenstern. Rhoda this is Eric Shrimp." That is one of my all-time favorite lines .... since I was young.

I LOVE THAT ONE!!!! I watch it over and over again and just can't get enough.

One of my favorites is when Mary and Rhoda are shopping in that boutique in the ANGELS IN THE SNOW episode, and they realize how they have transcended the "young and hip" generation gap. Rhoda comes across a rack with some greeting cards and booklets on it.

A FRIEND IS SOMEONE WHO'S FRIENDLY

"A friend is someone who's friendly" (turns page)
"...even when it's raining" (turns page)
"... even when it's night time" (turns page)
"... even when it's snowing" (turns page)
"... even when it isn't".

(looks at back cover) $3.50!!!

Mary answers Rhoda's questions on the phone with words beginning with the letter "A" for Yes or words beginning with the letter "B" for No to abvoid giveing Rhoda away to Mrs. Morgenstern, who's in Mary's apartment. When Mary gives Rhoda away by accident and Rhoda asks her if Mrs. Morgenstern knows Rhoda is upstairs, Mary says, "Al . . . abama!" :lol:

Rhoda: "This is my date, Mr. and Mrs. Armond Linten."

Mary: "I've been around. Well, maybe I haven't been around, but I've been nearby."

Oh - oh - also from "Angels in the Snow" -
Ted: "I got consummated!" Lou: "Did you take something for it?"

I've always liked Chuckles the Clown's favorite saying. "A little song, a little dance, a little seltzer down your pants."

One of my favorites is a Murray quote from "Will Mary Richards Go to Jail?"

Ted: Who am I (doing a James Cagney impersonation), "I'm not gonna eat this slop, see? I'm bustin' outta here."

Murray: Sue Ann's first husband?

"Feeb!" :lol: :D

A kind of "new" favorite:

Rhoda (To Phyllis): "She already did a service for mankind, by hanging up on you." :lol:

Rhoda on one of her dates: "Can you believe it? A man who's never had Chinese food in his life?" :)

Mary : Oh Rhoda, chocolate doesn't solve anything.
Rhoda: No Mare, cottage cheese solves nothing; chocolate can do it all


Rhoda (staring at a piece of candy) I don't know why I should even bother to eat this. I should just apply it directly to my hips.

Rhoda: "Your mother gives you Midwestern love. My mother gives me Bronx love. There's a lot of guilt involved in that!" :lol:

That may be more of a paraphrase . . .

I am looking for two quotes. Which episode does Mary say that "she's been around" and then which episode does she tell Ted to stuff his sock down his throat?

I am looking for two quotes. Which episode does Mary say that "she's been around" and then which episode does she tell Ted to stuff his sock down his throat?

The one where she's dating a single dad with a snotty kid named Stevie, I think.

He doesn't like Wonder Woman because she's "too butch." :lol:

Sue Ann Nivens: Mary, dear - do you have any idea what happens when you let Veal Prince Orloff sit in an oven too long?

Mary Richards: No, what?

Sue Ann Nivens: He dies.

I am looking for two quotes. Which episode does Mary say that "she's been around" and then which episode does she tell Ted to stuff his sock down his throat?

The "I've been around" quote is actually from "Mary's Delinquent." The full quote is:

Mary:I've been around. Well, all right, I haven't been around, but I've been nearby!

:)

How about when Lou tells Mary she has spunk. Then goes on to say, "I HATE spunk!". :lol:

Murray: "Well, if it isn't the Marcello Mastroianni of Minneapolis newscasting."

Ted: "Why, thank you, Murray."

Murray: "Oh, it's not a compliment, Ted. He has trouble speaking English too!" :D

From the first episode. :)

Sue Ann: "I was lying in bed last night and I couldn't sleep, and I came up with an idea. So I went right home and wrote it down."

(The Dinner Party)

Rhoda - "Mary, I thought you knew. Your parties are uh.. disasters. I mean I thought you knew, how could you not know?"
Mary - "Yes I know okay. I know.. I knew.. I just didn't know that anyone else knew."

Sue Ann - "Mary, you've been in my bedroom before, haven't you?"
(Mary looks around in amazement)
Mary - "Oh no! I would have remembered this!"

Lou - "Put it on an idiot card for Ted."
Ted - "Cue cards, Lou! I don't know why everyone insists on calling cue cards, idiot cards."
Murray - "We just have trouble thinking of you as a cue, Ted!"

Mary (to Murray): "You know close Ted came to losing his job over this?" Mary: "Not close enough."

When Chuckles the Clown got shelled to death, Ted Baxter had to figure out how to report it. "He . . . he died a broken man!" :lol:

Lou, to Mary: "You're either lying, or I'm a whole lot sexier than I thought."

This line doesn't mean anything if you haven't seen the episode, but if you see it it's hilarious.

Mary: "Sue Ann, in the language of the newsroom, that's an allegation. I don't have any more influence with Mr. Grant over the job than you do!"

Sue Ann: "Mary . . . in the language of the kitchen . . . that's a crock!" :lol:

Ted - "Mary I didn't get a chance to thank you. You saved my life by pressing your lips to mine."
Mary - "Ted, it was nothing!"
Ted - "What'd you expect? I was sick."

Ted - "Mary I didn't get a chance to thank you. You saved my life by pressing your lips to mine."
Mary - "Ted, it was nothing!"
Ted - "What'd you expect? I was sick."

:lol:

Ted Baxter: You saved my life, Lou. You saved my life.
Lou Grant: Please, Ted, I feel bad enough today.

Ted Baxter: You saved my life, Lou. You saved my life.
Lou Grant: Please, Ted, I feel bad enough today.

Ha ha, from "Chuckles Bites The Dust!" :lol:

This is more of a cross-section of a script.

Mary (to Murray): Why does Ted carry nothing around but 500 dollar bills?

Murray (to Mary): Here's why. Say Ted, do you have that $3 you owe me for lunch the other day?

Ted (to Murray): Sure Murr, do you have change for a five-hundred?

The payoff was at the end (no pun intended) when Murray DID have change for Ted's $500 bill, and it was all in nickels!!!!

Rhoda to Mary: "You're having a lousy streak. I happen to be having a terrific streak. Soon the world will be back to normal. Tomorrow you will meet a crown head of Europe and marry. I will have a fat attack, eat 3000 peanut butter cups and die."

This is more of a cross-section of a script.

Mary (to Murray): Why does Ted carry nothing around but 500 dollar bills?

Murray (to Mary): Here's why. Say Ted, do you have that $3 you owe me for lunch the other day?

Ted (to Murray): Sure Murr, do you have change for a five-hundred?

The payoff was at the end (no pun intended) when Murray DID have change for Ted's $500 bill, and it was all in nickels!!!!

That was funny! :D

Phyllis: "Oh Mary, you're so Mary, Mary!"

Phyllis: "Oh Mary, you're so Mary, Mary!"

:lol:

Lou: "Chuckles...Chuckles the Clown is dead...There was a freak accident. He went to the parade, dressed as Peter Peanut. And a rogue elephant tried to shell him."

Lou: "We laugh at death, 'cause we know that death will have the last laugh on us."

Lou: "This could've happened to any of us, Ted."
Murray: "Right. Somewhere out there there's an elephant with your name on it."

(At Chuckles' funeral.)
Lou: (low voice)"Not much of a crowd, is there?"
Ted. "No. If this were my funeral, it'd be packed."
Murray: (sarcastically)"That's right, Ted. It's just a matter of giving the public what they want."

Lou: "Chuckles...Chuckles the clown is dead...There was a freak accident. He went to the parade, dressed as Peter Peanut. And a rogue elephant tried to shell him."

Ted: "He . . . he . . . he died a broken man!" :rofl:

Mary Richards: "I'm an experienced woman. I've been around... Well, all right, I might not've been around, but I've been... nearby."

A Rhoda quote/line:

Lou Grant: You know, Mary, you've got spunk.
Mary Richards: Why, thank you, Mr. Grant.

Lou Grant: You know, Mary, you've got spunk.
Mary Richards: Why, thank you, Mr. Grant.

I HATE SPUNK!

:rofl:

Mary Richards: If it weren't for the rotten things that happen in this world we couldn't put on the news show. We should be grateful to all the people who do those rotten things.

Murray & Mary quotes:

[there is a party at Mary's. Mary has suggested playing a game where one person says a word and the next person thinks of a word that begins with the last letter of the word they heard]
Lou Grant: Does this game go on forever or does it have an end?
Mary Richards: It ends when a person can't think of a word.
Lou Grant: Oh, I'll start. (Lou turns to Ted Baxter.) Box! (Ted cannot think of a word and says nothing.) Game's over.

[there is a party at Mary's. Mary has suggested playing a game where one person says a word and the next person thinks of a word that begins with the last letter of the word they heard]
Lou Grant: Does this game go on forever or does it have an end?
Mary Richards: It ends when a person can't think of a word.
Lou Grant: Oh, I'll start. (Lou turns to Ted Baxter.) Box! (Ted cannot think of a word and says nothing.) Game's over.

:lol:

Lou Grant: You want a raise, is that it?
Ted Baxter: Lou, I've written a figure on this pad.
Lou Grant: Ted, I've written two words on this pad.
Ted Baxter: Lou, I thing there's some room for negotiation between that figure and those words.

Mary: (to Lou)"I'm doing a good a job as he did, and I'm being payed less?"

Ted Baxter: Darn, do you have change for a $500?

Ted Baxter: Darn, do you have change for a $500?

Murray (pulling out trays of coins): As a matter of fact . . .
Ted: Quarters?
Murray: NICKELS!!

:lol:

Ted Baxter: Folks, I've just received a special news bulletin: "You have something on your front tooth."

Ida (Rhoda's mother): "I never eat, I just nibble."
Mary: "Well, if you're still hungry, there's half a chicken in the refrigerator."
Ida: "Not anymore--that's what I nibbled."

Lou Grant: Mary, I don't want you to take this wrong, but you're a jerk.

Mary Richards: How could I possibly take that wrong?

Mary Richards: Ted, do you trust me?

Ted Baxter: Well, sure I do.

Mary Richards: Okay, take off your left shoe.

[Ted does so]

Mary Richards: Now take off your left sock.

Ted Baxter: Mary...

Mary Richards: Do you trust me, Ted?

Ted Baxter: Sure.

Mary Richards: Take off your left sock.

[Ted does so]

Mary Richards: Now, the next time I'm talking to someone and you think of a comment you just have to add to the conversation, I want you to take that sock, and stuff it down your throat.

Ted Baxter: What about the shoe?

[Mary gives a look as if to say "don't tempt me."]

Mary Richards: Sue Ann, why are you wearing a Santa Claus apron?

Sue Ann Nivens: Oh, I just finished taping a special, on Christmas dinner in many lands. I call it; 'yuletide yummies for world-wide tummies.'

[there is a party at Mary's. Mary has suggested playing a game where one person says a word and the next person thinks of a word that begins with the last letter of the word they heard]

Lou Grant: Does this game go on forever or does it have an end?

Mary Richards: It ends when a person can't think of a word.

Lou Grant: Oh, I'll start. (Lou turns to Ted Baxter.) Box! (Ted cannot think of a word and says nothing.) Game's over.

Mary: "At our age, having your tonsils out can be dangerous."
Rhoda: "At our age, having your hair done can be dangerous."

“Rhoda: My father's short.

Mary: See, it didn't bother your mother did it?

Rhoda: Bother her? She made him that way.”

Sue Ann Nivens: I've gotten involved in the most wonderful business. I'd like to give you all my new business card

[passes out cards]

Murray Slaughter: [reading] "Sue Ann Nivens; Insurance Sales". Great, Sue Ann; let me give you my card.

[writes on the back and hands it to Sue Ann]

Sue Ann Nivens: [reading] "Murray Slaughter; Not Interested".

Mary Richards: Oh Rhoda, chocolate doesn't solve anything.

Rhoda Morgenstern: No Mare, cottage cheese solves nothing; chocolate can do it all!

Rhoda Morgenstern: It's a magnifying mirror! Mary, why didn't you warn me? I thought it was a relief map of the moon. When they sell those magnifying mirrors they should include a printed suicide note.

Lou: Au contraire, Mary. Violence has solved every war, most football games, and a few marriages I can think of!

Lou Grant:
You want a raise, is that it?

Ted Baxter:
Lou, I've written a figure on this pad.

Lou Grant:
Ted, I've written two words on this pad.

Ted Baxter:
Lou, I thing there's some room for negotiation between that figure and those words.

Ted Baxter: I did a report on unemployment. It's at an all-time high. Or was it low?

Murray Slaughter: HIGH, Ted.

Ted Baxter: Hi, Murr!

Mary Richards: "If it weren't for the rotten things that happen in this world we couldn't put on the news show. We should be grateful to all the people who do those rotten things. We should stop them in the streets and say, 'Thank you Mr. Mugger, thank you Mr. Thief, thank you Mr. Maniac.'"

Phyllis Lindstrom: [First lines of series, entering the iconic apartment] Well, Mary, what do you think? Here it is.

Mary Richards: Wow. Hey, it really is charming, isn't it?

When you're single in college you don't care who gets married. Now, I can't stand to see a girl walk down the aisle in a movie!
— Rhoda Morgenstern

Ted: you’re giving a $50 raise to someone who told me to shut up on tithe air?!

Lou: It’s all I can afford Ted.

Mary: At our age, having your tonsils out can be dangerous.

Rhoda: At our age, having your hair done can be dangerous.

Mary: Mr. Grant, you're gonna be just fine, just fine. Go in there and be natural. And remember to smile.

Rhoda & Mary:

Ted: I don't think Barry likes me.

Lou: Ted, he hasn't been here long enough not to like you. He's only been here a couple weeks. It takes at least three weeks not to like you.

Phyllis & Rhoda:

Rhoda: [after learning her date is married] Next time I'm asked out, no matter how lonely I feel, I'm not going to say 'yes' unless it's a couple I really like.

Lou & Murray:

Ted: [bragging] I even got cheered for cutting a ribbon at a supermarket!
Murray: That's because they didn't think you could do it.

John & Mary:

Rhoda: [after a date with Hal Baxter] I made the mistake of asking him which was his bad side. You know, we looked for it for ten minutes. We couldn't find it. We found mine right away, though. It's the front.

Lou:

“An ounce of perversion is worth a pound of cure.”
— Ted Baxter

Lou: "The only thing missing is an electric train."

Lou: "I have the feeling that when I go to sleep tonight, three ghosts are gonna visit me."

Rhoda: "Not exactly what I wanted."

Rhoda: "Mary, I'm very competitive, I want to get you something better."

Ted: "Hey, clown, you're not funny!"

Ted & Lou:

Lou: "I treasure you people."

Mary: "And last night I thought... What is a family, anyway? They're just people who make you feel -- less alone, and really loved. And that's what you've done for me. Thank you for being my family."

Murray: "Now for the hard part. How do we leave this room?"

Ted: Albania...that's the capital of New York, right?

Mary & Rhoda:

Lou: [inviting Mary to dinner] We're having leftovers from [Edie's] Home Economics class.
Mary: That's OK, I love leftovers.
Lou: She got a C minus.

Rhoda:

After Ted married Georgette, he and Mary were sent to some convention where he got propositioned by another woman who wanted to join him in his room. Anyway, he fessed up to Mary what had happened and gave her the following instruction (since her hotel room adjoined his):

If you hear anything in there! Wait ten minutes then break the door down!

“Mary: At our age, having your tonsils out can be dangerous.

Rhoda: At our age, having your hair done can be dangerous.”

Mary, Ted & Rhoda:

“Ted: [lamenting at the party that he isn't where he should be in life] I might as well face it. I'm a no-talent!

Murray: Did somebody put truth serum in the punch?”

Rhoda speaking to Phyllis:

(First line of the series.)
Phyllis: "Well, Mary, what do you think?"

“Ted: [lamenting at the party that he isn't where he should be in life] I might as well face it. I'm a no-talent!

Murray: Did somebody put truth serum in the punch?”

Rhoda:

Sue Ann:

I wish I knew which episode this came from, but...

Murray: "Ted, do you have that 2 dollars that you owe me?"

Ted: "Sure, Murr....do you have change for a FIVE-HUNDRED?"

Mary Richards: If it weren't for the rotten things that happen in this world we couldn't put on the news show. We should be grateful to all the people who do those rotten things. We should stop them in the streets and say, "Thank you Mr. Mugger, thank you Mr. Thief, thank you Mr. Maniac."

Lou: Mary, where are the idiot cards?
Ted: Cue cards, Lou! Cue Cards!
Lou: Excuse me, Ted. Mary, could you please give those cue cards to this idiot?

Lou Grant: You know, Mary, you've got spunk.
Mary Richards: Why, thank you, Mr. Grant.
Lou Grant: I hate spunk.