View Full Version : Things to ponder


Brent88
04-15-2005, 10:53 PM
Is it possible to cry under water?

How important do people have to be before they're considered "assassinated" instead of just "murdered"?

Since bread is square, why is sandwich meat round?

Why do you "put your two cents in," but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?

Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?

Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

What disease did cured ham actually have?

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a
good idea to put wheels on luggage?

Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up
every two hours?

Why are people IN a movie, but ON TV?

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars
to look at things on the ground?

How come we choose from just two people for President and fifty for Miss
America?

Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?

Do illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze
these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out!"

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible
crisp, which no human being could eat?

When your photo is taken for your driver's license, why do they tell you to
smile? If you are stopped by the police and asked for your license, are you
going to be smiling?

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?

Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?

If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why
can't he fix a hole in a boat?

Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point
to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both
dogs.

What do you call male ballerinas?

If Wyle E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME junk, why didn't he just buy dinner?

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables,
what is baby oil made from?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Do "The Alphabet Song" and "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star" have the same tune?

Why did you just try singing the two songs above?

Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your bum?

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets snarly at you, but when you take him for a car ride he sticks his head out the window?

:rofl:

swedeace
04-15-2005, 11:13 PM
I've seen those before in an email... they are quite interesting. ;)

SmartAznTiger
04-15-2005, 11:25 PM
I actually did sing the songs in my head... :eek:, and I just realized it's the same tune

Hollow
04-15-2005, 11:38 PM
i hate these things.

- Can you cry under water? yes.
- How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered? the term "assassinated" is usually used when the case was political.
- If money doesn't grow on trees then why do banks have branches? money doesn't physically grow on them. however, MONEY DOES GROW ON TREES! Money = paper. paper = trees.
- Since bread is square, then why is sandwich meat round? it isn't just used for standard shaped sandwiches.
- Why do you have to "put your two cents in".. . but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to? there's no relation.
- Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity? not if you don't want to.
- Why does a round pizza come in a square box? boxes are usually square.
- What disease did cured ham actually have? none.
- How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage? no one cared enough about the luggage to bother with it yet.
- Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours? they still sleep a lot, but whoever uses that term isn't apparently thinking about it.
- If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing? yes.
- If you drink Pepsi at work in the Coke factory, will they fire you? probably not.
- Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV? we've just adapted different terms for them.
- Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground? it's amusing how close you can see things from way up there.
- How come we choose from just two people for President and fifty for Miss America? that's how they're organized.
- Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway. it's still more comfortable for some people.
- If a 911 operator has a heart attack, whom does he/she call? another operator
Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet soup? yes.
- Who was the first person to look at a cow and say,"I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out!" adam
- Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat? that's an overgeneralization
- Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer? so the light doesn't warm the contents in the freezer
- When your photo is taken for your driver's license,why do they tell you to smile? If you are stopped by the police and asked for your license, are you going to be smiling? just so the picture will look nice.
- If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him? to express it.
- Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane? yes.
- If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut,why can't he fix a hole in a boat? that was a real radio.
- Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is? BECAUSE IT'S HIGHLY INAPPROPRIATE.
- Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs! different kinds of dogs.
What do you call male ballerinas? ballet dancers.
- Can blind people see their dreams? Do they dream? if they became blind after birth, they can only visually dream about what they've seen. if they were born blind, their dreams only have sound and no image.
- If Wyle E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner? he wanted the roadrunner.
- If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from? the terms aren't necessarily used the same way, as far as the adjectives.
- If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons? no, there's no common "mor-" prefix used in those words.
- Is Disney World the only people trap operated by a mouse? mickey mouse doesn't exist. so no.
- Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune? duh.
- Why did you just try singing the two songs above? i noticed they had the same tune years ago.
- Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt? the prefixes don't refer to "ass" or "hemisphere".
- Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride; he sticks his head out the window? it's different.

phoebe7165
04-15-2005, 11:54 PM
How important do people have to be before they're considered "assassinated" instead of just "murdered"?

I always wondered that myself!!!

I've got one more--

Why do we drive on a parkway, but park on a driveway?

TripperFan
04-15-2005, 11:58 PM
If fish travel in schools, are there any dropouts?

¤I Love Clay Aiken¤
04-16-2005, 12:04 AM
Do "The Alphabet Song" and "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star" have the same tune?
Why did you just try singing the two songs above?

Totally did that.

dawsongirl
04-16-2005, 01:05 AM
Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up every two hours?


When babies are asleep, they sleep really well.

Rebel Queen 1980
04-16-2005, 09:51 AM
I've got one too.
In baseball why is the championship called the World Series,
when both teams playing are representing the U.S.?

TripperFan
04-16-2005, 10:12 AM
I've got one too.
In baseball why is the championship called the World Series,
when both teams playing are representing the U.S.?


That only made sense during the 1992/1993 seasons when it really was a world series (and we won) na na na na naaaaaa!! :p

G-Force Glockstar
04-16-2005, 10:35 AM
Wow interesting questions, lol.

Cool that some of you could answer them ;)

Kay Scarpetta
04-16-2005, 11:57 AM
Do "The Alphabet Song" and "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star" have the same tune?

Why did you just try singing the two songs above?




:lol: always gets me.

ABlairican Pie
04-16-2005, 01:23 PM
People HAVE been known for getting fired for drinking Pepsi at Coke factories. :eek:

Penny Lane
04-16-2005, 01:33 PM
Another one;
Easy as pie? Have you ever tried making a flaky piecrust? It's NOT easy!


And another; Easy as taking candy from a baby. Just try it once! :lol:

Cactus Jack
04-16-2005, 03:05 PM
:rotflmao:

robyrob
04-16-2005, 07:41 PM
Is it possible to cry under water?

*smacks with fish*

Titania
04-17-2005, 07:51 PM
Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze
these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out!"
-that was in a calvin and hobbes comic

When your photo is taken for your driver's license, why do they tell you to
smile? If you are stopped by the police and asked for your license, are you
going to be smiling?
-they dont, do they?

What do you call male ballerinas?
-technically, danseurs

Do "The Alphabet Song" and "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star" have the same tune?
-yes, so does baa baa black sheep

swedeace
04-18-2005, 08:11 PM
Here's another one:

Why is "cowboy" and "cowgirl" and NOT "cowmen" and "cowwomen?" I mean, they are NOT cows. :p

phoebe7165
04-18-2005, 08:54 PM
When your photo is taken for your driver's license, why do they tell you to smile? If you are stopped by the police and asked for your license, are you going to be smiling?
-they dont, do they?

Uh, huh.
I just got my license renewed and the lady told me to smile for my picture. And this was after giving the state $65 of my hard earned money!!!