hey everyone, i'm new to this board. I'm usually on the Facts of Life board. I was just wondering, what do you think is the funniestSt. Olaf story Rose has told? i like the one about the St. Olaf Slasher, and the one about the old lady who didn't have any "smile muscles." Tell me what you think!

I agree with you that the St.Oalf Slasher was very, very funny.

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Andrew Carden

http://www.sitcomsonline.com/ubb/biggrin.gif I remember Rose telling a story to the girls about her children being conceived on St. Olaf holidays! That was pretty funny. It was on the episode when Blanche's daughter, Becky was having a baby. http://www.sitcomsonline.com/ubb/wink.gif

Rose told a story one time -- I forget what the topic of conversation was, but she said something along the lines of: "And no body suspected anything until we found little bits of Joe's plaid shirt in the corn. Then we said: 'That's odd, that looks like bits of Joe's Arm." It was really hilarious.


I wish I could remember the St. Olaf slasher.


I also liked the one where she said she ran away from St. Olaf to St. Gustav and she was left all alone in a strange city in the pouring rain. Then somebody shouted, "Hey idiot, don't you know any better? Come inside and get out of the rain." Then Rose said that the in thing to do was coming in out of the rain."


Also when Rose got that letter to be St. Olaf's woman of the year and she was gonna send water, but the letter said not to because they've found that envelopes leak.

I like the one-eyed cow story.

I have more than one fave:

"The St. Olaf Slasher"
"Tundor the Mediocre Tiger"
"Taking the Bull by the Horns" (St. Olaf 'sex education')
"The Boy who was Raised By Wild Moose"

I love 2 the one where she talks about the diffrencs between this married couple, She was fat he was thin, he was cheap she was extravagant.. and on and on. Then the other favorite is w/ rose saying about the hearing (fish) Juggleing act, and Blance says Someone actually juggled Hearing? And Rose said Oh no silly the hearings did the Juggleing, With tiny little ginsu knifes, it was very dangeous one Falso move and the could have fillet themselves! LOL

I love the one where she starts to tell about her cousin and Dorothy cuts her off by saying "Rose, I don't want to hear about your Frickin cousin!"

I think the first story she ever told was funniest though. If you notice the girls hadn't laughed nearly so hard at a St. Olaf story since!

You know you're in for a laugh when you hear "Back in St. Olaf..." whether it be the story or the comments the others make as she tells it.

**Gracie**

I like the one where Rose goes to night school. When Dorothy grades her history exam, she gives Rose a failing grade, because she says that Adolf Hitler was her history teacher, and Eva Braun was the P.E. teacher, brcause they came to St. Olaf after the war!

^Hans Sticklemeyer lol as Adolf Hitler. good one.

I like the story about Herring Circus, and the Herring juggling act.

"Little ginsu knifes" "I mean one false move they could have fillet themselves!" lol.

There was one about the St Olaf 'Angel of Death'. A nurse whose patient asked her to bring him some mouth moisteners and then kill him. "She wasn't sure if it was his meds talking or the pain talking or the man in the next bed talking. It was Ingmar Johansen, St Olaf's meanest ventriloquist"

Or the OB/Magician who delivered Kiersten..."It's a girl! Now it's rabbit!" :lol:

I like the one where Rose goes to night school. When Dorothy grades her history exam, she gives Rose a failing grade, because she says that Adolf Hitler was her history teacher, and Eva Braun was the P.E. teacher, brcause they came to St. Olaf after the war!

I brought that up on another post that I started titled "Stepin Fetchik-Stepp and Fetchik. I get it now." It was so funny and so was the Stepp and Fetchik one.

Or the OB/Magician who delivered Kiersten..."It's a girl! Now it's rabbit!" :lol:
"Is this your baby"? :lol:

St. Olaf slasher and the jugling herring. :lol:

Here's mine:

Dorothy: "After a while, you feel like you're in this gigantic, black hole."

Rose: "We had a gigantic black hole back in St. Olaf!"

Sophia: "Oh, God!"

Rose: "Right in front of the courthouse where Charlie and I got our marriage license and our permit to have kids. Oh, it was a lovely hole. Everybody in town would stand around and look into it."

Dorothy: "And they say Hollywood is the entertainment capital of the world."

Rose: "Well, we didn't just look. Sometimes, we'd point, too. Or spit and then time it. Then there was the guy who'd always unzip himself..."

:lol: :lol: :lol:

- ...He did bird impressions
What's wrong with that?
Lets just say you wouldn't wanna park your car under their oak tree

-the International Dance Team of Step & Fetchik

-The Obstetrician Magician "Is This Your Baby?"
:lol:

I also like The One Eyed Coy Story.

Mine had to be Henry Feldershtick, St. Olaf's half man, half grasshopper.

"When he rubbed his legs together you'd swear you were on a camping trip!"

I like when she told about Bessie, the old woman who pulled the plow.

The Mean Old Lady Higgenlooper story was hysterical. She was apparently born without smiling muscles, so Rose told her "a smile is just a frown turned upside down", so from then on whenever she saw Rose she would stand on her head and wave.

Also the one about Sonja Klingenhoffer. This one goes in all sorts of crazy directions and is absolutely brilliant. Right from the start, Dorothy acknowledges the story. Rose then goes "you know Sonja Klingenhoffer?" Dorothy responds, "Of course, she's a cow... a chicken... a duck... help me Rose, I'm drowning here!"

Rose: "She's a cartoon!"

Blanche: "And a very good one too!" She and Dorothy attempt to leave the kitchen, but Rose threatens to follow them and act the story out with sock puppets. Rose proceeds to tell the story panel by panel (there are 16 of them), until Dorothy tells her to speed it up. Rose wraps it up quickly by saying "Sonja tells her mother and her mother understands."

Dorothy: "Understands what?"

Rose: "The joke between the two crows!"

Dorothy is exasperated but their conversation continues. Sophia is discovered listening at the door. She denies she was eavesdropping, causing Dorothy to ask her "then why were you standing there with your face pressed against the crack?"

Rose: "That's what the crow said!"

I don't know if we count these as "St. Olaf stories," but I always liked to hear Rose shock the other girls (especially Blanche) with a reference to how, um, intense, her private life with Charlie really was.

She once said that they "did it" every day and every night, and Blanche couldn't believe it...

Blanche: I find this story hard to believe. You don't even like to talk about sex.

Rose: Well, it's been my experience that the people who talk about it a lot don't do it very often.
(from "Son-in-Law Dearest" I think.) You never quite knew if she knew she was putting Blanche down or not.

And then, "Charlie and I once did it 'til the cows came home. Of course I was wearing a bell." ("Girls Just Wanna...")

I just thought it was sad that she still let Blanche talk her into trying to be Blanche-like.

I don't know if we count these as "St. Olaf stories," but I always liked to hear Rose shock the other girls (especially Blanche) with a reference to how, um, intense, her private life with Charlie really was.

She once said that they "did it" every day and every night, and Blanche couldn't believe it...

Blanche: I find this story hard to believe. You don't even like to talk about sex.

Rose: Well, it's been my experience that the people who talk about it a lot don't do it very often.
(from "Son-in-Law Dearest" I think.) You never quite knew if she knew she was putting Blanche down or not.

And then, "Charlie and I once did it 'til the cows came home. Of course I was wearing a bell." ("Girls Just Wanna...")

I just thought it was sad that she still let Blanche talk her into trying to be Blanche-like.


It was always great when Rose would burn Blanche or Dorothy and she didn't even know it! :lol: She got her jabs in too!

I also like the scene where she describes her and Charlie's romantic outing at "Mount Pushover." (in response to Miles' question whether she's ever "done it" outdoors - Pope's Ring). I admit I don't get the joke about the name, if there is one. Maybe it's supposed to just plain sound funny, which it does. Maybe the story is nothing special, but I love how Miles hangs on every word, glowing. You wouldn't think he'd be thrilled to hear her memories of Charlie.

When she had to crawl between the Shriners legs up the volcano while they gave her her birthday whacks.

Or when she caught her parents "playing leap frog".

Where, after running away to St. Gustave, she made "coming in out of the rain" the "in" thing in St. Olaf.

I also like the story about Charlie being disinherited for marrying her, because her mother belonged to a family the Nylands were feuding with. It's not that funny, but it's funny that Rose had all these men making sacrifices for her, despite all of Blanche's claims to be the irresistable one.

It was always great when Rose would burn Blanche or Dorothy and she didn't even know it! :lol: She got her jabs in too!

A perfect example of this was after Rose got her teddy bear back from that brat Daisy, she and Blanche were eating cheesecake and Blanche was telling about how she brushed off a pushy salesman while she was shopping in the ladies petite department.

Rose's comeback: "What were you doing in ladies petites?"

I liked the story of The Boy who DIDN'T cry wolf. and how he became to be the boy who cried continuously.

And the story about the black blacksmith!

The Great Herring War Story!

I liked the story of The Boy who DIDN'T cry wolf. and how he became to be the boy who cried continuously.

And the story about the black blacksmith!

The Great Herring War Story!


I also am amazed how Betty White can keep a serious straight-face during her long-winded outragious, off-the-wall stories. She must have lost it, at least once in a while. I wonder if they often had to do re-takes.

Small one, but when she said that there, they say "Va va va voom" when she saw someone she liked.

It's hard to pick a favorite because I thought all of her stories were hilarious.

I always liked the Great Herring War

The one where she said her father was picked to pull the tuna float because he was the only one that was small enough to fit into the mayonnaise jar costume.

I can't remember the name but the one where the man died and his wife heard him from beyond the grave saying he didn't pay his taxes so they dug him up and there he was, dead as a doornail. Bergstrom, his partner killed himself right then and there and since the grave was open...

Plus all the others that were stated here, plus countless others.
I could listen to her stories and never get tired of hearing them.

I have watched all the episodes countless times, but it has escaped my memory: what was the St Olaf Slasher story about? Did it have something to do with scarecrows? I thought she had done a story with a scarecrow.

I can't decide! They were all hysterical - as was Betty White's delivery. :rofl:

OK, I'll say Thor the sheep. :lol:

I also am amazed how Betty White can keep a serious straight-face during her long-winded outragious, off-the-wall stories. She must have lost it, at least once in a while. I wonder if they often had to do re-takes.
I agree!! I don't think I could've said all those stories with a straight face - on OR off camera!! :lol:

A perfect example of this was after Rose got her teddy bear back from that brat Daisy, she and Blanche were eating cheesecake and Blanche was telling about how she brushed off a pushy salesman while she was shopping in the ladies petite department.

Rose's comeback: "What were you doing in ladies petites?"
That episode was awesome! :lol: :lol: :lol:

Now that I'm watching Season 5 - I think I have a new favorite St. Olaf story and it goes something like this:

Rose: You know, there are all sorts of things that people get that they can't diagnose, and then they disappear as mysteriously as they came. Gustav Lundqvist got sick from something mysterious, and he nearly died - well, he did die, in fact. Then at the cemetery, Beatrice Lundqvist, his wife, kept screaming, "He's alive! He's alive! I can hear it from the grave!" Well, everyone thought it was the hallucinations of a grieving widow, so they sedated her. But when she woke up from her sedation, she told them that he had said from the grave, "We never paid our '78 through '86 income taxes!" And his partner said, "Only Gustav would know that! He must be alive!" So, they all raced to the cemetery, and the entire town started digging like crazy, kneeling by the grave, using their hands even, dirt flying and Beatrice screaming. And when they opened that coffin, there he was...dead as a doornail.

Blanche: What is the point of that ridiculous story, Rose?!

Rose: The point is, Gustav didn't die from his mysterious disease at all! He lived and recovered. The trouble was, he recovered while he was buried, so by the time they got to him, he'd died of suffocation.

Blanche: I just don't believe these stories you tell, Rose!

Rose: Another tragic aspect was, the IRS was waiting at the cemetery to arrest Gustav's partner, Bergstrom. So, Bergstrom killed himself right then and there, by grabbing the gun from Sheriff Tokqvist and shooting himself. What they did then was, since the grave was still open, and everyone was right there, and Gustav and Bergstrom had been partners, so they put Bergstrom in with Gustav and had a double burial. Unfortunately, later they found out that Bergstrom wanted to be cremated.

Blanche: Oh...shut up, Rose!!!

:lol: :rofl: :brent