What is it and why?

It's a toss-up between two:
Either...
When Rose gives Dorothy a hand-whittled maple syrup spigot for Christmas instead of pearl earrings, Dorothy says, "This will come in much handier.... the next time I'm lost in the woods with a stack of pancakes!"
or...
Blanche says she doesn't mind her brother Clayton being gay, but she doesn't like the idea of him sleeping with men.
<Blanche> The must be homosexuals who sleep with women
<Sophia> Yeah, they're called LESBIANS!

"Beat it you 50-year old mattress!"--Sophia

DJM --

Along with the gay thing...

The episode where Dorothy's lesbian friend Jean comes to visit, and falls for Rose. Dorothy and Sophia are in bed, and Blanche hears them laughing. She comes in, and Dorothy tells her that Jean is a lesbian.

Blanche responds "A lesbian? Isn't Danny Thomas one?"

Dorothy comes back "LEBANESE!!!"

I know there was more to it, but it still cracks me up.

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80's Sitcoms Rock!!

I have a lot of faves:

"It'll really come in handy... next time I'm lost in the woods with a stack of pancakes!" -Dorothy

"Sometimes life just isn't fair, kiddo!" -Rose

"OH NO, I'm not shopping with you, Mary Poppins!" -Blanche

"Jealousy is a very ugly thing, Dorothy. And so are you in anything backless!" -Sophia

The best quote came from Sophia after Rose had fired a shot at Blanche and her date, Lester. I don't remember it exactly, but it went something like, "I've lived 80, 81 one years, suffered a stroke...one night I'll belch and Stable Mable will blow my head off." It brings tears to my eyes every time the episode comes on. Great Stuff!!!

Sophia: I've found my list, I've been looking for this for ages!
Blanche: Let's see what you were supposed to do on this list.
Sophia: So many goals I had.
Blanche: Lose 200 pounds???
Sophia: Already done that!

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Andrew Carden

"So is ineruterine. It does not belong in a song."~Dorothy to Rose


Carol

Dorothy: Sometimes I can't believe my ears.
Sophia: I know - I should have had them taped back when you were seven!
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Blanche: I'm hallucinating! I see little balls of sunshine in a bag!
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Sophia: Jean is very nice person. She happens to like girls instead pf guys. Some people like cats instead of dogs. Personally, I would rather live with a lesbian than a cat...unless the lesbian sheds!
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Dorothy: I really don't want to hear this!
Sophia: Good news - you can't!
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Another funny quote is when blanche meets Rose's little midget date for the first time in the epiosde "A Little Romance". She comes out of the kitchen and says "Shrimp?" and then realizing her mistake, runs back in the kitchen.

Another one is when Blanche says she treats her body like a temple and Sophia says "Yeah. Open 24 hours. Day or Night!"

Dorothy catches Sophia and Max in bed saying what is going on here? Sophia replies, "Afterglow"

classic!

It may not be my all time favorite, but you've got to admit this one's funny:

"Who was I sharing with? If you say something to somebody who isn't really who he is; have you actually said anything or not? And if he's heard it as someone he really isn't, has anything you said actually been heard?"

~~~Rose~~~

I hate to admit it, but he sure does melt my Haagen Dasz / Rose Nyland.

There were some funny lines from the episode where Rose thinks Blanche was having an affair w/ Charlie. I think the lines were something like this:
(Looking at photos)
Dorothy: Look, here's Blanche in bed with a pontoon boat. And here she is in bed with the giant orange from the Sunkist Building!

Blanche: Do you know what this means?

Rose: I sure do, you're an animal!

Dorothy: No Rose, these are double-exposures.

Rose: But why would Blanche be taking pictures of herself in bed?

Dorothy: You've seen her Christmas cards!

Here are more:

Dorothy: Say good-bye, old woman!

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Rose: This is the nightgown that makes Miles you know...hot.
Sophia: Maybe it's the you know...flannel.

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"You're old, you're ugly, you live with it!" - Jo
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"Why would you want to be popular? You have to smile and talk to peple and all that stuff!" - Jo
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Rose: So, Jerry, ever dressed up like a horse?
Jerry: No, but thank you for asking!
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"Get back here, you deceitful little Sicilian gecko!" - Dorothy Zbornak
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"I've got PMS and I've got a gun - any questions?" - Jinny Extead

Dorothy: There's a man on our lawn!
Blanche: Get the net!

Sophia (talking about Sal) - May he rest in peace till I get there.

Blanche (to Dorothy) Since when do you care how you look?
Dorothy: I think it started when I came down from the bell tower and had my hump fixed.

Rose: Can I ask a dumb question?
Dorothy: Like no one else.

Dorothy: Mr. Belvedere is a humble servant, Stanley. You're a horse's ass.

Sophia: My hiney's asleep.
Dorothy: Then we'll keep our voices down.

When Sophia calls Blance a slut puppy...That cracks me up..

Originally posted by JMPolniaczek15
Blanche: I'm hallucinating! I see little balls of sunshine in a bag!

omg i loved that, that was so funny.

(The girls and Blanche's daughter at the birthing center)

Rose: This place makes me want to go out and get pregnant

-----or------


(Hearing a loud scream)

Nurse: Sounds like one of our mothers is ready to give birth

Dorothy: We don't need the whole tour

Blanche: Jerry (?) wants us to have another child, but I don't know if I want one right away. (something like that)

Dorothy: I understand. Wait, and Medicare will pay for it.

Sophia: No, have it now, and the National Enquirer will pay for it.

From the episode, where Blanche's boyfriend thinks her grandaughter is her daughter.

Sophia: Dorothy, you're 60 years old, and breaking up fake roll and roll bands. I want you to think about that.

From the Beatlemania episode.

Nurse Defarge: You know what happens when nurses are late....people die

When Rose, Blanche & Dorothy get arrested for prostitution and Sophia comes down to the jail. Sophia-'I can't believe it!" Dorothy-'Ma, we're innocent!' Sophia-'I know that, I can't believe these dumb cops would think that anybody would pay money to sleep with the 3 of you!' I still crack up when I see that!

Rose-'It was 5 years before I knew what made your eyes go in the back of your head!' explaining how at first when she was young, she didn't really understand all that much about orgasms.
I love that whole conversation with her, Blanche & Dorothy.:grineyes: :blush:

Hrmm....

75% of Rose's lines.

I have so many faves, but one of my most fave quotes has to be when at the end of the episode "The Actor" (you know, the one where Dorothy, Blanche, and Rose all vie for the lead in a local play opposite a famous actor), the three are reflecting on everything and Blanche says "We were on him like mustard on a tire at a county fair". hehe I don't know why I like it so much. I guess it's a Southern thing. lol

Rachel

Dorothy: Do you know how much it hurt when you say things like that?

Sophia: No. When I dead, drop me a note.

:rotflmao:

I caught this one today...

Sophia had been to Bingo, and someone sprayed water on her for a practical joke. He took her dress, and Sophia came home wearing just a tweed coat. When Rose questioned her, Sophia flashed her.

Rose: "Dorothy, was Sophia just naked or did her dress really need ironing?"

:lol: :) :lol:

Originally posted by jayman75
I caught this one today...

Sophia had been to Bingo, and someone sprayed water on her for a practical joke. He took her dress, and Sophia came home wearing just a tweed coat. When Rose questioned her, Sophia flashed her.

Rose: "Dorothy, was Sophia just naked or did her dress really need ironing?"

:lol: :) :lol:

I don't remember that one. Which ep was it on?

:lol: :lol: :confused: :confused: :lol: :lol:

Wait, I thought of a one I always laugh at;

Stan: her name is Katherine...and we found out we had a lot in common.

Sophia: Oh, is she bald too?

:lol:

My favorite GG lines are often Rose's St. Olaf stories. This is one of my faves that I can remember:

Rose: It's like the Great Herring War. Between the Lindstroms and the Johanssen's. The two families controlled the most fertile herring waters off the coast of Norway. The Johanssens wanted to pickle the herring and the Lindstroms wanted to train it for the circus.

Blanche: Wouldn't it be kind of hard to see the little herring riding the elephants?

Rose: No, it's a herring circus.

Dorothy: Tell me something, Rose. Did they ever shoot a herring out of a cannon?

Rose: Only once. But they shot him into a tree. After that, no other herring would do it.

Blanche: You're makin this up!

Rose: I am not! My Grandfather told me that story! Of course, he also used to call me by my sister's name. And sometimes, he'd wear his underwear on the outside of his pants. Guess he wasn't a very reliable source!!

DOROTHY:GET BACK HERE YOU WITHERED SICILLIAN GECKO!
SOPHIA:I WUV YOU!
DOROTHY:TOO WITTLE TO WATE!



ROSE:DOROTHY IF LORRAINE IS BLACK DOES THAT MEAN HER FAMILY IS GOING TO BE BLACK?
DOROTHY:YES ROSE,MAYBE YOU CAN ENTERTAIN LORRAINE'S FAMILY BY DOING THE DANCE THE HUXTABLES USE AT THE BEGINNING OF THE COSBY SHOW

LOL that is a very funny one in the Mixed Blessings episode, although I'm not sure where you got the one about Sophia and Dorothy? I think it is so funny about Rose and Dorothy though. I like that one LOL.

:lol: :lol: :lol:

Originally posted by IamGGFan
LOL that is a very funny one in the Mixed Blessings episode, although I'm not sure where you got the one about Sophia and Dorothy? I think it is so funny about Rose and Dorothy though. I like that one LOL.

:lol: :lol: :lol:

that's the episode where sophia was acting like she was still injured because she had gotten so used to the nurse taking care of her.i don't know the name of that episode but it's in the 6th or 7th season

I remember that episode, but I don't watch that one very much. I think it's the Bang that Drum Stanley episode because I remember that she pretended that she was injured from getting hit by a baseball at a baseball game if that's the one you are talking about? I think I understand what you are saying.:talk: :talk:

Originally posted by IamGGFan
I remember that episode, but I don't watch that one very much. I think it's the Bang that Drum Stanley episode because I remember that she pretended that she was injured from getting hit by a baseball at a baseball game if that's the one you are talking about? I think I understand what you are saying.:talk: :talk:


i think so but i could be wrong.

Dorothy: Stan is always late, he was even late for our first date

Sophia: And then you were late

Hi all! I'm new.

My fav lines are:

When Sophia and Dorothy are are insulting Blanche.
Blanche: I don't have to stand here and take this.
Sophia: Take it Dorothy!
Dorothy: But I bet you'll lay down for it.

When Rose was to embarrassed to tell Miles something (I think it was Miles)
Dorothy: Rose, you can't tell him that but you can tell the story of Little Yimminy, the boy raised by a moose.

When the girls were robbed and Blanche comes out of the kitchen covered in flour.
Blanche: They took my jewels
Dorothy: But I see they didn't get your cocaine.

God, there are so many of them.

Welcome to the boards. Welcome.:welcome: :welcome:

Thanks for the welcome!:wave:

sophia:rose i need some advice
rose:you mean you want advice from me?
sophia:frightening isn't it?

I'm not sure which episode this one is from:

Rose: I'm here if you need to pick my brain.

Dorothy: I think we should leave it alone and let it heal.

This one is from the one where Dorothy and Rose decide to put a new toilet in their bathroom.

Sophia: Was that a plumber?

Dorothy: No. It was a Girl Scout selling Girl Scout toilets.
:lol: I have many, many more, but those two stand out. They never fail to crack me up!:lol:

Originally posted by AllForYou8
...Dorothy: But I see they didn't get your cocaine...

Hey, I don't remember that on Lifetime. I guess they don't allow drugs jokes on Lifetime?

BLANCHE (holding up a bag with egg yokes in it) My God, I'm hellucinating. I see little yellow balls of sun shine in a bag.

AND ALSO

BLANCHE: I don't mind Clayton being homosexual I just don't like him dating men.

BLANCHE: My hair is it's natural hue.
DOROTHY: Sure, Blanche. Yours and Lucy's!

SOPHIA (looking out the wondow; talking about Blanche's gay brother and his mate) : Oh, look there skipping!
BLANCHE: What?!?! :eek:
SOPHIA: Joking.

ROSE (enters excited and says some things; sorry, I haven't watched the show that long) :
DOROTHY: I take it we now get the Disney Channel?

Lol, those are funny.

Originally posted by IamGGFan
I remember that episode, but I don't watch that one very much. I think it's the Bang that Drum Stanley episode because I remember that she pretended that she was injured from getting hit by a baseball at a baseball game if that's the one you are talking about? I think I understand what you are saying.:talk: :talk:

That episode is the one were Dorothy asks Sophia to move a whicker couch and she sprains her ankle or something. It's not the same one as the baseball scam. :)

My favorite quotes are:
“What’s so terrible about going straight to bed?” -Dorothy to Blanche
“Hey, Blanche, that’d be a great title for your book.” -Rose
(I think it's the episode where Blanche is writing the 'great Southern novel'.)

“It was exciting opening his closet and seeing his boxing shorts with that provocative nickname.” -Blanche.
“Blanche, Everlast is a brand name not a nickname.” -Dorothy
(the episode where Sophia buys the Puerto Rican boxer.)

“Dorothy, you’re not moving. It reminds me of our wedding night.” -Stan (Not sure of ep.)

"You've become what we call in the business 'a hot story'." -Rose.
"Well, you've become what we call in the revenge business 'next'." -Dorothy.
(Episode where Dorothy and Stan are arrested for being 'slum lords' on account of Rose covering the story on her news program.)

Mine are in my siggy!

Blanche:I'm going to take a hot bath and fill the bathtub with enough water to cover my perky bosoms.
Sophia:You're only going to sit in an inch of water?:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Or something like that, I know I don't have it exactly.

Rose is talking to Dorothy about how the doctor at the grief center used knock knock jokes to calm patients...

Dorothy says: Knock Knock?

Rose: Who's there?

Dorothy: Oh shut up Rose!

In the episode whre the girls are re-doing their bathroom, I think the plumber leaves their new toilet in the living room because they wanted to install it themselves, Rose walks into the living room, sees the toilet and says "Was the plumber here?" and Dorothy says "No, it was a Girl Scout selling Girl Scout toilets!"

Sophia was talking to Dorothy about entering a walking marathon and Dorothy says, "Ma, this is for people who walk a lot." and Sophia replies, "So what do I do? Hover?"

An episode where there was a bad storm, and Rose and Blanche walk into the kitchen with Nun costumes on. Blanche was holding up some of her clothes and notices the guy standing in the kitchen and she says, We're uhh.. collecting lingerie for needy sexy people."