swedeace
01-22-2005, 09:12 PM
I realize I don't post many personal threads or even feel I know very many people individually here, but I just had to post this as it tears me up completely....
To make a lonnnnnnnng story short, here's the rundown of how my life has been going for this past awful year for me:
My parents were separated in April 2000 because my dad was being a jerk and not treating my mom right for previous years to that. So authorities had to step in after one simple phone call. My dad is in his 70s (yes - MUCH older) and my mom in her 50s.
My dad carried on living on his own place. Then, he was being much less active (doesn't work, drank, not nourishing himself well, etc). My sister and I would stop visiting him because we were sick of his behavior and attitude. Eventually, the calls and visits would be far and in between. In fact, the last stretch of time I have called/visited him was from last July 2004 to December 2004 - I called him for Christmas.
It wasn't until my Californian aunt (my dad's sister) calls me on Friday, January 7, 2005 informing my dad had a heart attack and fell and hit his head. He was bleeding and had to have been taken in by an ambulance by their brother.
My sister and I visited him just after surgery, and it was difficult for him to talk and was quite incoherent.
It felt like my life had changed totally.... I know wanted to be near my dad's side taking care of him so he gets better, and so I can sit and talk-talk with him. I figured this will be like this for the rest of his life, since he is 74.
He's been transferred over to a nursing center/rehab place last night, and this morning my mom and I went to visit and talk. My dad was talking more and more!! I was getting hopeful!!
Then, my aunt calls a few hours ago and tells me he's got an infection in his brain from the blood clot and with the pnenomia and his not eating well (against his wishes to be fed through the stomach and through the nose - which could help him!!), he's getting weaker. It's then estimated he only has TWO weeks to live. I about lost it!
I felt so guilty for not listening to my mom when she would say "Go and visit your dad! Make him food and visit him!" I just rolled my eyes from all my past hidden anger, and now life bites me in the butt!!! This SUCKS!
What do I do now? I know this is life, but I just wish for a simple miracle. :(
To make a lonnnnnnnng story short, here's the rundown of how my life has been going for this past awful year for me:
My parents were separated in April 2000 because my dad was being a jerk and not treating my mom right for previous years to that. So authorities had to step in after one simple phone call. My dad is in his 70s (yes - MUCH older) and my mom in her 50s.
My dad carried on living on his own place. Then, he was being much less active (doesn't work, drank, not nourishing himself well, etc). My sister and I would stop visiting him because we were sick of his behavior and attitude. Eventually, the calls and visits would be far and in between. In fact, the last stretch of time I have called/visited him was from last July 2004 to December 2004 - I called him for Christmas.
It wasn't until my Californian aunt (my dad's sister) calls me on Friday, January 7, 2005 informing my dad had a heart attack and fell and hit his head. He was bleeding and had to have been taken in by an ambulance by their brother.
My sister and I visited him just after surgery, and it was difficult for him to talk and was quite incoherent.
It felt like my life had changed totally.... I know wanted to be near my dad's side taking care of him so he gets better, and so I can sit and talk-talk with him. I figured this will be like this for the rest of his life, since he is 74.
He's been transferred over to a nursing center/rehab place last night, and this morning my mom and I went to visit and talk. My dad was talking more and more!! I was getting hopeful!!
Then, my aunt calls a few hours ago and tells me he's got an infection in his brain from the blood clot and with the pnenomia and his not eating well (against his wishes to be fed through the stomach and through the nose - which could help him!!), he's getting weaker. It's then estimated he only has TWO weeks to live. I about lost it!
I felt so guilty for not listening to my mom when she would say "Go and visit your dad! Make him food and visit him!" I just rolled my eyes from all my past hidden anger, and now life bites me in the butt!!! This SUCKS!
What do I do now? I know this is life, but I just wish for a simple miracle. :(