From the James A. McDivitt Elementary School Auditorium in Old Bridge New Jersey, it's the 2004 Hawkeye Awards!

Cue the band...

The Official 2004 Hawkeye Awards Theme Song

“We’re Giving You A Hawkeye”
(To the tune of “We Didn’t Start The Fire” by Billy Joel)

Colin Farell, Beyonce, Jessica and Nick Lachey
Desperate Housewives, Linsey Lohan - is her chest for real

Dr. Vegas, Affleck jilted, voter fraud and Paris Hilton
Mary Kate is way too skinny, give that girl a meal

Donald Rumsfeld, J-Lo, Jim Carrey and Carl Rove
Britney Spears got married twice and The Passion Of The Christ

Kiera Knightly, ODB, Fifty Cent and R Kelly
Dr. Phil he won't stop yapping Tony Randall goodbye

We're giving you a "Hawkeye"
If your films were way dull
and your songs were painful
We're giving you a "Hawkeye"
If your acts of crassness
Entertained the masses

Kirstie Alley, deadly sars, Martha's still behind bars
Whitney Houston, Avril Lavinge, Nanny 911

Usher, basketbrawl, Mary Kay Letourneau
Still no news on when the war is done

FOX News, Hillary, Janet flashed for all to see
Bridget Nielsen Flava Flav, Osama's hiding in some cave

BALCO steroid tests, Bill O'Reilly's phone sex,
Rathergate, Timberlake, Who the hell is Kayne West?

We're giving you a "Hawkeye"
If you blamed your drummer
for your lip synch blunder
We're Giving you a "Hawkeye"
If your acts of crassness
Entertained the masses

Listen Up, Halie Duff, Elton John is in a huff
Nicky Hilton - Vegas Bride, and Father Of The Pride

Rescue Me, Tara Reid, Kobe Bryant's dirty deeds
Kerry says that Bush must go, count the votes in Ohio
Jon Stewart, Prince is back, Artest gives some fan a whack
Donald Trump, O.C., vote or die with P. Diddy

Brokaw, leaves his gig, Carrie chooses Mr. Big
Howard Dean goes psycho Peterson's on death row

We're giving you a "Hawkeye"
If you made us savor
all your rude behavior
We're giving you a "Hawkeye"
If your acts of crassness
entertained the masses

Jimmy Fallon, Tina Fey, Oprah gives some cars away
Taxi, Kill Bill, someone Super Size Me

Liza sued by David Guest, Raising Helen made us wretch
Who’s your daddy, Red Sox win the World Series

Jude Law, Simon Rex, One Tree Hill kids having sex
William Hung, go away! What else do I have to say!

We’re giving you a Hawkeye
If your clothes were tacky
and your quotes were wacky
We’re giving you a Hawkeye
If your acts of crassness
entertained the masses

Peter Jackson oscar win, Courtney Love in court again
Mischa Barton, Nicolette Sheriden
Gwen Stefani solo chick, Whole Ten Yards just made us sick
Saddam Hussein in a cell, save a place for him in Hell

Benefactor, Hawaii, shows that made us hate TV
CNN, UPN, Swan, Troy, Catwoman
Protest rallies, screaming hoards, fighting at the Vibe Awards
Not to mention Michael Moore, Adios 2004!

We’re giving you a “Hawkeye”
If your acts of crassness
Entertained the masses
We’re giving you a “Hawkeye”
Till the drinks are gone
This award show’s on and on and on….

We’re giving you a “Hawkeye”

The 2004 Hawkeye Awards will be return in a moment...

;)

:lol: :lol:

:rotflmao: I love it!!!!!! Submit it to amIright

:lol: :rotflmao:

:rofl:

that was really funny

OMG...that was hilarious. :thumbsup:

:lol: Brittney deserves 2 Hawkeyes... :rofl:

Oh man, that was priceless...that was great


:rotflmao:

:rofl: That's great TJL

Great stuff TJL. As usual, your humor never disappoints. Can't wait for the next installment.

Will you get a job as a comedy writer already. :lol:

Awesome job!

Well, that pretty much sums up this year!
Good job, TJL. :)