Has anyone else ever lost all of their spirit?

Thats what seemed to have happened to me tonight. I've been depressed before, But never this bad. Usually I Just watch Some TV Or something and eventually get over it within minutes...But for the past 3 hours or so i have felt nothing but pain.

I've always screwed up stuff and failed at things, I Have the attention span of an ant and can't follow instructions if my life depended on it, I Did poorly in school, I Did poorly in Sports, I Can't even TALK To girls, I Have very few talents...And the few talents I DO Have seem worthless in almost every way other than entertaining Myself.

My Mom Doesnt help with any of this. Dont get me wrong, Shes a great Mom....She Loves me, Always did her best to take care of me and give me a good life. Yet when she gets the least bit angry, LOOKOUT. I'm Afraid to even try things out of fear of screwing up (And trust me...I ALWAYS Screw Up) And getting yelled at and made to feel like i'm worthless. She never actually says Things like that, She DOESN'T Verbally abuse me....But just the idea of getting yelled at for doing something wrong is enough.

Its not just her, Either. Its everything. I Still remember a time in Gym Class when i was younger when The teacher explained the rules of a game to us. EVERYONE In the class but me understood it, And when i attempted to play...I Did it totally wrong and made a complete fool of myself.

I Get this feeling of uselessness All of the time, And yet i ALWAYS Look on the bright side and tell myself that things are going to get better...But this time i'm not even sure if they are going to. I've waited long enough for things to get better.

How Am I Ever supposed to make it in the real world? Do I Even have a future worth living? Do I Even have a purpose in life?

I'm Not trying to make people feel sorry for me, But I Felt i had to let all of this out as that's the way i seem to handle things and its been building up for some time now. I Was also hoping that somebody might have some better advice than "Things will get better. Hang In There". I've heard all of the cliche advice...And it never helps. I Was hoping that maybe someone with similar experiences might give me some advice...Someone that actually KNOWS What I'm going through.

Originally posted by Chad Lawrence Doody
Has anyone else ever lost all of their spirit?

Thats what seemed to have happened to me tonight. I've been depressed before, But never this bad. Usually I Just watch Some TV Or something and eventually get over it within minutes...But for the past 3 hours or so i have felt nothing but pain.

I've always screwed up stuff and failed at things, I Have the attention span of an ant and can't follow instructions if my life depended on it, I Did poorly in school, I Did poorly in Sports, I Can't even TALK To girls, I Have very few talents...And the few talents I DO Have seem worthless in almost every way other than entertaining Myself.

My Mom Doesnt help with any of this. Dont get me wrong, Shes a great Mom....She Loves me, Always did her best to take care of me and give me a good life. Yet when she gets the least bit angry, LOOKOUT. I'm Afraid to even try things out of fear of screwing up (And trust me...I ALWAYS Screw Up) And getting yelled at and made to feel like i'm worthless. She never actually says Things like that, She DOESN'T Verbally abuse me....But just the idea of getting yelled at for doing something wrong is enough.

Its not just her, Either. Its everything. I Still remember a time in Gym Class when i was younger when The teacher explained the rules of a game to us. EVERYONE In the class but me understood it, And when i attempted to play...I Did it totally wrong and made a complete fool of myself.

I Get this feeling of uselessness All of the time, And yet i ALWAYS Look on the bright side and tell myself that things are going to get better...But this time i'm not even sure if they are going to. I've waited long enough for things to get better.

How Am I Ever supposed to make it in the real world? Do I Even have a future worth living? Do I Even have a purpose in life?

I'm Not trying to make people feel sorry for me, But I Felt i had to let all of this out as that's the way i seem to handle things and its been building up for some time now. I Was also hoping that somebody might have some better advice than "Things will get better. Hang In There". I've heard all of the cliche advice...And it never helps. I Was hoping that maybe someone with similar experiences might give me some advice...Someone that actually KNOWS What I'm going through.


You sound exactly like me when I was younger. I was always a screw up. Things will get better I promise you. I put myself in the navy and wound up with a GI bill that put me through school that led me to a job I enjoy. There was a time where I was unemployed, with no girlfriend, no prospects of anything. I always screwed up. Former bosses use to complain that I was too slow, etc, etc. You just have to believe in yourself and take a risk or two. It worked for me and I'm quite happy. :)

Chad - dont "wait until things get better", MAKE them better yourself; it is all too easy to feel down about yourself and give in to depression, you need to stop thinking about it and do something positive with the talents that you DO have.

I have read a lot of your stories, you ARE a talented, creative writer - focus on THOSE attributes and MAKE them work for you.

Have some confidence in yourself and stop giving in to self-defeat.

Originally posted by Brian Damage
You sound exactly like me when I was younger. I was always a screw up. Things will get better I promise you. I put myself in the navy and wound up with a GI bill that put me through school that led me to a job I enjoy. There was a time where I was unemployed, with no girlfriend, no prospects of anything. I always screwed up. Former bosses use to complain that I was too slow, etc, etc. You just have to believe in yourself and take a risk or two. It worked for me and I'm quite happy. :)

Thanks. That actually makes me feel a bit better.

I Always appreciate when people give me advice, But its especially nice to hear it from someone that was in the same shoes. Glad everything got better for you, Man. Hope it does for me.

you should go to college. its the only way you're going to do something with your life.

Originally posted by Mr. Stefani
you should go to college. its the only way you're going to do something with your life.

I Would If I Had the Money or Grades to get in.

Try community college and build up your grades and then transfer. That's what I did.

Originally posted by Brian Damage
Try community college and build up your grades and then transfer. That's what I did.

Worth A Try, I Suppose. I'll check into it.

Originally posted by Chad Lawrence Doody
I Would If I Had the Money or Grades to get in.

Community. A monkey can get in. You go for 2 years, work hard at it and get your grades up so you can move onto a better education. I'm not sure about community colleges but they might do fincial aid

Originally posted by Chad Lawrence Doody
I Would If I Had the Money or Grades to get in.

:( Try looking into grants and things like that. I got a grant or I wouldn't have been able to go to college.

I was the same way in school, I had trouble understanding even the simplest directions, my teachers had to explain to me individually, boy that made me feel like a kid :(

Also, I constantly feel that way too. I'm always afraid to let people down, that I have to please them. You have no one to please but yourself Chad.

Like Roby said you are a very talented and creative writer, and you have an amazing sense of humor, all with which in this world will take you very far :)

I'm afraid of screwing things up too. Not that I have a huge track record of it, but I hate failing and I hate being looked down upon like I'm stupid, so I set these high standards for myself and then I worry about screwing up and looking like a total fool. I just got a job (miracle of all miracles!), but truth be told, I'm more worried that I won't understand what I'm supposed to do, and I'll screw it up. I should be happy, but I'm worried instead. Damn anxiety problem.

I think a lot of people probably feel the way you do. We all set ourselves on a pedestal but we naturally have faults and there's no way we'll stay up there. All you can do is just try. Easier said than done, I know.

Originally posted by Mr. Stefani
you should go to college. its the only way you're going to do something with your life.

Or trade school. How about like some of those study at home courses? I mean, I have a BA...it literally got me nowhere (English Lit degrees are next to worthless unless you want to teach), but now I'm taking a class thru PCDI (maybe you've seen the commercials) and it's more specialized, you don't have to go to class, and you can take you time learning the material. And then you can go get a job in that field. Better than spending 4+ years in college when 2 of those years are a rehash of HS.

Originally posted by Mr. Stefani
Community. A monkey can get in. You go for 2 years, work hard at it and get your grades up so you can move onto a better education. I'm not sure about community colleges but they might do fincial aid

I think the one around here does. :nod:

Originally posted by dawsongirl
I'm afraid of screwing things up too. Not that I have a huge track record of it, but I hate failing and I hate being looked down upon like I'm stupid, so I set these high standards for myself and then I worry about screwing up and looking like a total fool. I just got a job (miracle of all miracles!), but truth be told, I'm more worried that I won't understand what I'm supposed to do, and I'll screw it up. I should be happy, but I'm worried instead. Damn anxiety problem.

I think a lot of people probably feel the way you do. We all set ourselves on a pedestal but we naturally have faults and there's no way we'll stay up there. All you can do is just try. Easier said than done, I know.

Congratulations on your new job:wave:

Originally posted by Brian Damage
Try community college and build up your grades and then transfer. That's what I did.

Yep. That's what I'm doing right now. I chose to do it that way because I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life, and I didn't want to waste my parents money trying to figure it out. I have a pretty good idea what I want to do now. Believe me I know exactly how you feel Chad. I feel like that constantly. I've recently started seeing a therapist, and once I started talking to her I realized that I've been depressed for a very long time. It's just a suggestion, but maybe you should talk to a therapist or a counselor.

Hope you are feeling better today Chad!:bighug:

My spirit's been dead for years.:crying: I know how you feel, Chad.

HE IS CRUMBLING.

If it lasts for more than a few days you should probably think about seeing a doctor or therapist. Otherwise, like others have said, you have to believe in yourself, and know that you can do whatever you want. At your age your whole life is ahead of you, and you can make the choice to go whatever direction you want! :)

Thanks, Everyone. I Honestly thought i was Very rare with these feelings, But its good to know other people have felt the same way.

I Feel a lot better today, And Probably just let my emotions get the best of me last night (Which I Do Alot). Thanks Again, Everybody.

Originally posted by Chad Lawrence Doody
Thanks, Everyone. I Honestly thought i was Very rare with these feelings, But its good to know other people have felt the same way.

I Feel a lot better today, And Probably just let my emotions get the best of me last night (Which I Do Alot). Thanks Again, Everybody.

Chad, I'm 18 too. I understand how awkward and painful it is at times.

hang in there, Chad :hug: we all :heart: you here.

Hang in there. Just find something that intrests you and set some goals for yourself. And don't worry you're not the only one who feels that way once in a while.

Yes Hang in there Chad. I've felt all those things before and I know how you feel. Just know that you got friends here if you ever need to talk.

Originally posted by Lady T
Congratulations on your new job:wave:

Thank you. :)

Originally posted by C Doody
Has anyone else ever lost all of their spirit?

Thats what seemed to have happened to me tonight. I've been depressed before, But never this bad. Usually I Just watch Some TV Or something and eventually get over it within minutes...But for the past 3 hours or so i have felt nothing but pain. I have been having a very hard year......... My mum passed away a couple months ago but whats really bothering me is some friends of mine I love dearly have been ignoring me and being very mean because I wouldnt let them force me into getting a toxic shot basically....

Even as the days go on and more and more comes out on how much they lied to the public to get them to take this,I still havent made any progress and I wonder if they will ever be nice to me again....

I dont think they will ever admit they were lied to and minipulated.....

I am very sad and have lost almost all my spirit........ I find it hard to get thru the days........ I am just very sad............

Dude, your friends don't have to admit anything about what they chose to do, but to keep you from their lives for what you chose to do is so wrong of them... People can and do disagree but to just ax people out, NOPE. Friends allow friends to have their own choices, other wise, they are small minded and really not friends... I would let those friends go if that is what they want.


I've lost spirit that I had for most of my life, but aging is not for sissies.....and since March 2020 so much has been distressing.

So many will NEVER admit they made the wrong choices, but many will admit and I'm one of them, many do get wake up calls. My daughter was my wake up call in March 2020.

And again what we have gone thru for the last 2+ yrs is unprecedented in our lives.


Seeing this is an old thread, it will be interesting, I guess, to see if any of the active today's members make comments, it's you and I usually, and most others NOI.

Yes thats what keeps sites alive :) (Scanning the bases and finding good threads to reply to)

God bless you Carole!!

I have been having a very hard year......... My mum passed away a couple months ago but whats really bothering me is some friends of mine I love dearly have been ignoring me and being very mean because I wouldnt let them force me into getting a toxic shot basically....

Even as the days go on and more and more comes out on how much they lied to the public to get them to take this,I still havent made any progress and I wonder if they will ever be nice to me again....

I dont think they will ever admit they were lied to and minipulated.....

I am very sad and have lost almost all my spirit........ I find it hard to get thru the days........ I am just very sad............

Sorry to hear about the loss of your mom. :(

Dude, your friends don't have to admit anything about what they chose to do, but to keep you from their lives for what you chose to do is so wrong of them... People can and do disagree but to just ax people out, NOPE.

I believe as individuals we all have the right to draw the line as far as what we will tolerate, vs not, in our friendships.

I know you guys are back to talking about "jabs", and I'm really not willing to go there, but lets just draw a parallel to other undesirable behavior. Would you say, for example, if a friend became infatuated with illicit activity that you wanted no part of, that you would continue to associate with them despite being made complicit to those undesirable activities? I'm thinking about vices such as illicit drug use, or perhaps dog fighting.

Where perhaps you care too much about the individual to turn them in to the authorities, yet absolutely want no part of the activity yourself....and have been given the ultimatum that the friend has no sense of being in the "wrong" on whatever matter it is.

Sometimes you just gotta part ways.

As far as "losing spirit" my own self, I recall numerous instances where I suddenly became aware of some of life's starker realities, which forever changed my thinking. But I would (now) typify those events as my having lost my innocence, realizing that life is not all rainbows and unicorns.

Sometimes delusions can make life seem so grande in a Crosby, Stills, and Nash "Our House" sort of way.......but at the same time, reality is bound to seep in, eventually. And regardless if one prefers to call it becoming dis-illusioned, or de-spirited, I believe is mostly a matter of semantics.

Ya just gotta learn to stand back up, dust yourself off, and move forward before the next guy does. That's the secret to getting ahead.;)

Sorry to hear about the loss of your mom. :(Thank you sweetheart :)

Thank you sweetheart :)

You're welcome. :)

Aw man, can we not bump up sad times from when I was a teenager?

I am in a better mental place these days even if things aren't perfect. My Mom and I also had a much better relationship in later years though she's sadly passed away.

I also no longer capitalize random words. Not sure why I did that.

I have been having a very hard year......... My mum passed away a couple months ago but whats really bothering me is some friends of mine I love dearly have been ignoring me and being very mean because I wouldnt let them force me into getting a toxic shot basically....

Even as the days go on and more and more comes out on how much they lied to the public to get them to take this,I still havent made any progress and I wonder if they will ever be nice to me again....

I dont think they will ever admit they were lied to and minipulated.....

I am very sad and have lost almost all my spirit........ I find it hard to get thru the days........ I am just very sad............

I am sorry you're going through this. I know what it's like to lose a Mom and it's not easy. I hope things get better and your situation with friends improves.

Reading thru most of this thread and it sounds like some are feeling better than when this was posted. But having e a Low Thyroid issue can be a major culprit for many feeling poorly. A little tweaking is all that may be needed.

Symptoms of an underactive thyroid
Many symptoms of an underactive thyroid (hypothyroidism) are the same as those of other conditions, so it can easily be confused for something else.

Symptoms usually develop slowly and you may not realise you have a medical problem for several years.

Common symptoms include:

tiredness
being sensitive to cold
weight gain
constipation
depression
slow movements and thoughts
muscle aches and weakness
muscle cramps
dry and scaly skin
brittle hair and nails
loss of libido (sex drive)
pain, numbness and a tingling sensation in the hand and fingers (carpal tunnel syndrome)
irregular periods or heavy periods
Elderly people with an underactive thyroid may develop memory problems and depression. Children may experience slower growth and development. Teenagers may start puberty earlier than normal.

If you have any of these symptoms, see a GP and ask to be tested for an underactive thyroid.

https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/underactive-thyroid-hypothyroidism/symptoms/


Personally I went 10 long ugly years with a sluggish thyroid and docs were not finding my issue. Gotta learn to be smarter than the docs...and or bring thoughts to the docs that could be your issue. Docs don't take time.

I am sorry you're going through this. I know what it's like to lose a Mom and it's not easy. I hope things get better and your situation with friends improves.Thank you buddy... Im glad to see you posting and I know TJ is happy also :)

Yes its very sad....... I miss my friends terribly.........

I am very unhappy now. I live overseas in China with my Chinese wife and have been for over twenty years. For about 15 years, it was fun living there, and had a lot of adventures and made many friends, both Chinese and foreigner.

This year I lost my job for something that happened last fall (this this happened a year ago tomorrow). This was my fault and lost my job because of it (although I was allowed to work until the end of my contract).

Now I have no job and living on my savings. I am living in my wife's hometown which is quite boring with few opportunities (and it is illegal for me to work without a work permit). So I stay up all night and sleep until the afternoon. COVID is still a thing here which forces me to wear a face diaper food shopping and marketing. Other than that, not much. My wife is not in another city about a thousand miles from here and has been gone for a week.

I am procrastinating going back to the USA. I dont want to live with my elderly parents and then having to work a job making a billionaire money which I will hate and take up the majority of my waking hours. I just want to vomit thinking about wearing an orange smock and a name badge having to deal with the general public burning up what little life I have left.

I want to be free. I want to move to Cambodia and live in a beach community where there are other foreigners. It is cheap to live there (less than a $1000 a month). I have an "anniuty" set up by my father back home but cannot access that for about five more years. There is far more than enough for me to retire in Cambodia and bring my wife with me. But my father will think this is a crazy idea, and frankly, I am waiting for him to die to get the annuity and the inheritance, but then I have to deal with his second wife. She isnt too bad I guess and thinks Cambodia is actually a good idea.

I dont want to live in America. I dont want a car, dont want to put up with the freaks and the perverts, the crime, (and my city is crime ridden enough for my father and my best friend to open carry pistols when they leave the house. That's not freedom, who in the hell wants that?). America is nothing but burgers, wings, Amazon and perverts.

Im so sorry buddy :(

I am very unhappy now. I live overseas in China with my Chinese wife and have been for over twenty years. For about 15 years, it was fun living there, and had a lot of adventures and made many friends, both Chinese and foreigner.

This year I lost my job for something that happened last fall (this this happened a year ago tomorrow). This was my fault and lost my job because of it (although I was allowed to work until the end of my contract).

Now I have no job and living on my savings. I am living in my wife's hometown which is quite boring with few opportunities (and it is illegal for me to work without a work permit). So I stay up all night and sleep until the afternoon. COVID is still a thing here which forces me to wear a face diaper food shopping and marketing. Other than that, not much. My wife is not in another city about a thousand miles from here and has been gone for a week.

I am procrastinating going back to the USA. I dont want to live with my elderly parents and then having to work a job making a billionaire money which I will hate and take up the majority of my waking hours. I just want to vomit thinking about wearing an orange smock and a name badge having to deal with the general public burning up what little life I have left.

I want to be free. I want to move to Cambodia and live in a beach community where there are other foreigners. It is cheap to live there (less than a $1000 a month). I have an "anniuty" set up by my father back home but cannot access that for about five more years. There is far more than enough for me to retire in Cambodia and bring my wife with me. But my father will think this is a crazy idea, and frankly, I am waiting for him to die to get the annuity and the inheritance, but then I have to deal with his second wife. She isnt too bad I guess and thinks Cambodia is actually a good idea.

I dont want to live in America. I dont want a car, dont want to put up with the freaks and the perverts, the crime, (and my city is crime ridden enough for my father and my best friend to open carry pistols when they leave the house. That's not freedom, who in the hell wants that?). America is nothing but burgers, wings, Amazon and perverts.

Well you don't want to live in America, and Most Americans don't want to live in China. That's a fair statement.

You paint a pretty broad brush about America and crime, yes it's here but Far More Good Happenings Overall. And freedom but we are losing it in the last 10 some yrs.....the dictators in charge have lost their ways.

And you don't have to own a car, millions do NOT. NY is heavy with non auto owners/drivers,