Some of my favorite lines include:

Oscar brings in his syndicated friends to run a "Las Vegas Night" for Felix' opera club, when Felix realizes they are beginning to lose money, he takes the roulette table ball and puts in his his mouth, thus stopping the game, the dealer then asks Felix to put the ball back, Felix says no, then the dealer says: "Then we'll use your eye". That is classic.

Felix- "It's a known fact Lincoln loved Mayonaisse" (on the Password episode)

"Once there was a man named Jesse..Jessie..Jessie Jess-ie, he kept his clothes oh so messy....messy..messy Jess-ie..."

There are so many, it is hard to recall them, but this was a show that had tons of funny lines

OSCAR: What's this next to my sore arm that hurts?

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OSCAR: No bones? How did it walk?

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FELIX: I don't go around grabbing other men's ex-wives upper arms!




Great Odd Couple link (http://www.cafepress.com/theoddcouple) :lol:

FELIX: "Oscar, when i first came to live with you i found you huddled in the kitchen eating gray spagetti with tweezers!"

FELIX: "The man at the filling station did'nt speak any English, only Yankee go home!"

OSCAR: "There he goes (referring to Felix), the last of the red hot maryters, now if i see a ocean i'll want to drown myself."

OSCAR: "Remember!! It's bail before jail so you better not fail!"

FELIX: They have tap dancing in Hawaii. You just can't hear it because of the sand.
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FELIX: I think Gloria's seeing another man.
OSCAR: I think it's your imagination.
FELIX: No I measured the seatbelts in her car. The passenger side was abnormally loose.
OSCAR: Maybe she went shopping with Kate Smith!
--------------------------

Felix: "Gloria has the right to see other men. A right she seems to exercise at every conceivable opportunity!!"

Felix: "Where do martyers go? Bed and bath, buck and a half."

Felix: Everybody say MIDGET!

Felix: (talking to Miriam) Do you suffer much from acid stomach?

Aristophanes is ridiculous!

that's down by the docks. it'll be dark. i'd better bring my big spoon.

remember oscar the fault lies not in our stars but in ourselves........shakespeare.

you will have prepared for me bay leaves incense and cloved garlic and a half a chicken......sometimes i get a little hungry around midnight.

what do you have under leaky pipes........puddles

i can go on and on...

O: Not 'of course,' it was my fourth choice!
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F: I much fear serious trouble in the fuselage, Frederick.
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F: It's Flaming Peach.
O: What color was it before?
F: Spanish Mildew.
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http://prodtn.cafepress.com/8/17045708_F_tn.jpg (http://www.cafepress.com/theoddcouple)

Felix: "Oscar, it looks like you got all of this furniture free with a full tank of
gas."
=========================================================
Felix: "We'll live with the chairs for awhile and then ask them, 'what would
like to have around you'?"

Oscar: "..and it will say..Gloves!"
=========================================================

Oscar:"We'll bring in a goldfish for warmth!"
=========================================================

Felix:"Oscar!! You're not mixing Chinese and Italian?"

fate gave me the nose and fate will take my nose away

oscar i hate to bother you but how are your cigar ashes?
my cigar ashes are fine. how are your shoe laces

hot...cup...coffee.......I WANT A HOT CUP OF COFFEE!

...and he'll say 'i'll twist your little rigaletto'

are you a rich arab sheik? no, i'm a hot jewish cop.

i got a midget named harry!!

go now into the other room and watch sesame street.

will this get me anything? yea, two fives.

there's only one way to get rid of the spirits. an excorsism
your kidding?!
uh uh

i had a dream i sat in the hand and it made a fist

i kinda feel like i'm insured by allstate

look at this he's hittin' me with bolivian chickens

got any black cookies? i like black cookies.

i don't want to drive you to wyoming.

Felix: (dusting a picture) It's a jigsaw puzzle.
=========================================================
Oscar:(speaking directly at Felix) You're gonna go on Let's Make a Deal, win a new bed, and Monty is going to kiss your mother!"
========================================================= Felix: "My curtain goes up on time!! Not like those clowns at Lincoln Center"
=========================================================
Oscar: "Felix!! If these people are'nt out of here in five minutes im gonna tune your nose."
=========================================================
Felix: "Mr. Felcher could play Carmen. Felcher go put on lipstick!! Felcher don't be a nut!"

courage la plume

oscar, is it snowing outside?
i can't tell, it's all white!

oscar madisoy...if you were chinese you would have won

ace of spades, that's the death card

taaaakkkke the envleope
we'll take the squid!
who are you, jacques cousteau?

I like ketchup. It's like tomato wine.
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Nose Feliciano.
-----------------------

You know they had Willie Mays in here last night?
And he has a beautiful singing voice!
-----------------------

Murray come in. You're breathing up all the air in the hallway.

GREAT ODD COUPLE LINK! (http://www.cafepress.com/theoddcouple) :wave:

i don't like pits pits pits in my juice juice juice

tossing a match turns you on?

here comes the card train. choo choo choo choo

Penny for you thoughts...

A dollar for your death!
______________________

At home he's a barrel of laughs??
___________________________

Red River Unger and his Saddlesores....
________________________________

They Got Skylar...
__________________

You created a monster...Nosenstein

_______________________________

I'm gonna make a picture you can take your grandchildren to see.

Is he kidding? Where's da bed?
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What do you have under leaky pipes?

Puddles.
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http://prodtn.cafepress.com/7/16083107_F_tn.jpg
Red River (http://www.cafepress.com/theoddcouple2)

to you all the worlds problems can be solved by prunes.
most of them can.

Murray, you're pointing to Finland.
Now you're in Athens.
------------------------------

F: It's a conversation piece.

O: Tell it to shut up.
------------------------------

http://logo.cafepress.com/0/837520.jpg (http://www.cafepress.com/theoddcouple)

Felix is going to coach his son's football team.

Oscar: You should wear a sweatsuit
Felix: I don't have sweatsuit
Oscar: I'll lend you mine.
Felix: I'd die first

The uniform of the day is "Fatigues", Madison, not exhaustion.


Because a good soldier is a clean soldier.
And a clean soldier is a good soldier.
And a good clean soldier...is good!

:lol: :lol: :lol:

someone Oscar is playing cards with asks Oscar "Hey, who is this pest Oscar"? meaning Felix. Felix answers "THIS PEST SIR, IS MR. MADISONS ROOMMATE...WHO IS HOLDING A CHILDS BIRTHDAY PARTY IN THE OTHER ROOM. SURELY YOU REMEMBER CHILDREN...YOU USED TO BEAT THEM UP!"

The very last scene of the last episode:

(Felix leaves after Oscar throws some garbage on the floor):

FELIX: Just to show you I have changed, I'm not going to pick that up.

OSCAR: After you leave, I will pick it up.

(Felix leaves)

OSCAR: I'm not going to pick it up. (leaves room)

FELIX: (re-entering room): I knew he wouldn't pick it up.

:lol:

kill all the animals, just don't hurt me.

as soon as I take off my big red hat.

:lol:

Felix (trying to write a song): Jumping and rolling...Jumping and rolling...What jumps and rolls?

Oscar: A frog with a hernia.

Murray (telling Oscar & Felix off for acting like old men):

"You should be arrested for impersonating the elderly!"