Okay, so I have this really weird problem and I really don't know what to do...

I'm doing an internship with a teacher and I've known her for two years. We were never really all that close or anything. We never had much of a relationship at all. I saw her over the summer and we talked or whatever. That's about it.

Then this school year, I would see her in the hallway and say hi to her and stuff and that was fine. Then one day she randomly gave me a hug for no apparent reason. I didnt think much of that either.

So, I started doing a teaching internship with her earlier this month which was cool I guess. Every day she'd rub my arm just like in summer school. The third day that I sat in on her class she came behind me and put her hands on my shoulders and then she started playing my hair. Then she proceeded to lean over and start talking in my ear. She caught me off guard so I didnt say anything.

Then last week we were talking about something. She pretty much told me to get a life and I told her I was offended but we were just joking. She was standing up and I was sitting down and we were just going back and forth about me having to get a life or whatever. And she ran her hand over my head and just like....kept her hand on the back of my head. So I was like "Okay..." And then she pulled me toward her. And my head was pretty much in alignment with where her thigh was and so my head was just like...on her thigh and she was still holding me so I couldnt pull away from her. So while my head was all up against her thigh she was rubbing and patting my back. Then she let me go and she grabbed my chin and rubbed it. She did that twice. So I was like "Okay....whatever."

Then like two days later she ran her hand over my head again and that was that.

I've had a few people ask me why she's always touching me and stuff but I have no answer for them. A few of my friends told me to report her but I'm just not sure that what she's done warrants a complaint.

One of my friends is making a really big deal about it and I just...I don't know. Maybe the teacher is doing it as like a motherly "I care about you" thing. I really have no idea. I don't know if she's trying to be sexual. I really don't think she is. But my friends are making this big deal about it. I havent told my parents or any other adults. I figured I'd just wait and see where it goes.

Do you think the teacher's gone too far? Or am I just paranoid? Or what?

I'm trying to get opinions bedcause I really don't know if I should complain or not.

I really would appreciate any kind of advice you guys can give me...


Sorry this post was so long...

If it makes you feel uncomfortable, then it's not right.

You should talk to another teacher or some other person of authority at the school.

I would suggest to tell your parents, and have them deal with her. If she's holding you so that you can't pull away from her, then that's not good. Tell someone, okay? :)

if it makes you uncomfortable smack her off next time she does it.

hey, Michelle mentioned you posted something here...
okay, here's what I think,

Does she do that just with you, or with others as well? Talk to some others in her classes or something and see if she does it with them too.

I agree that it isn't right when it makes you uncomfortable, but I don't think you should get your parents or somebody else involved, at least not yet. Try talking to her, tell her you don't like it. Or if you don't openly wanna say it, do it subtle, like tell her a story like some aunt a friend of your mom or whoever was visiting and she kept hugging you and stuff, and say how much you hate getting touched by strangers. Maybe she gets it. If that doesn't help, you can still see what you do next and eventually get help from somebody else.

I think that's what I'd do :) Good luck

Talk to someone at the school. A guidance counsellor or another teacher or somebody. If her behavior makes you feel uncomfortable you shouldn't allow it to go on any longer. Good luck. :)

wait, why are you doing an internship at 16?

Anyway, I'm 16 also, and I wasnt sure how old you were by post (I thought you might have been in college, which changes things in a couple of ways)

So now, am I right to assume that you are male? Nothing I could find would show me.



All I have to say, is make sure you are cautious before crying wolf, because if it is truly innocent, wouldnt want to ruin someones career.

Originally posted by ThirteenInchEscape
So now, am I right to assume that you are male? Nothing I could find would show me.


She is female. :)

Originally posted by dawsongirl
She is female. :)

:barf:

Disgusting(the female teacher).

Originally posted by ThirteenInchEscape
wait, why are you doing an internship at 16?

Anyway, I'm 16 also, and I wasnt sure how old you were by post (I thought you might have been in college, which changes things in a couple of ways)

So now, am I right to assume that you are male? Nothing I could find would show me.



All I have to say, is make sure you are cautious before crying wolf, because if it is truly innocent, wouldnt want to ruin someones career.


At my school, we're allowed to do like a work study program thing depending on what career we choose. We can go to a business or some place like that. I want to be a teacher so they let you work with a teacher at your school. You have to spend every free period you have with them.


I'm a female by the way. About ruining her career; that's what I'm afraid of. It could be a completely innocent thing and she might mean absolutely nothing. But all my friends are like "But what if it isnt innocent? You should go complain." And I cant just...do that. So it just makes everything even more confusing.


Originally posted by CD DeLorenzo

hey, Michelle mentioned you posted something here...
okay, here's what I think,

Does she do that just with you, or with others as well? Talk to some others in her classes or something and see if she does it with them too.

I agree that it isn't right when it makes you uncomfortable, but I don't think you should get your parents or somebody else involved, at least not yet. Try talking to her, tell her you don't like it. Or if you don't openly wanna say it, do it subtle, like tell her a story like some aunt a friend of your mom or whoever was visiting and she kept hugging you and stuff, and say how much you hate getting touched by strangers. Maybe she gets it. If that doesn't help, you can still see what you do next and eventually get help from somebody else.




I've talked to other people in her classes and they all hate her with a burning passion for one reason or another. Everyone that I've talk to said that they didnt find anything particularly inappropriate about her behavior. They all just find her to be insensitive , which makes what she's doing to me even more strange.

From my knowledge of this teacher, she's not close with any of her students. She definitely separates herself from most of them. Even when I had her in tenth grade, she was like that. Like i said, before this we didnt have any kind of relationship at all. I was in her class, she knew my name and that was it. And this year, she just...changed.

I dont know. I'm just really confused and I feel really lost because on one hand everyone and their mother is telling me to report her. And on the other hand I dont want to get this woman in trouble if her intentions turn out to be completely and honestly innocent.

if they want you to turn her in because they hate her, not because they care about you, be wary.

Originally posted by ThirteenInchEscape
if they want you to turn her in because they hate her, not because they care about you, be wary.

Yeah, that's why I'm having such a hard time with it. I know the woman can be mean and I used to hate her too. But I got used to her and she's really not as bad as people make her out to be.

But I just dont know what to do because I really don't know what this woman's intentions are. And I just find it odd because she was never like that with me before and I've never seen her like that with anybody else either. I'm so confused...

I would talk to the guidance counselor if I were you; that is what they are there for, not just for academic issues, but personal ones as well.
This person's behaviour should be looked into! Everything you've said in your first post; rubbing your arms and shoulders, playing with your hair, talking in your ear; you do realize that these are things that people do who like someone, don't you? And I'm talking about LIKE like, not just an innocent like! And I'm not even going to go into her forcing your head down to her thigh.
What concerns me even more is her degrading you and telling you to get a life. Sexual predators often put-down their victims to squash their self-esteem and make them feel worthless, so that when the victim is feeling worthless they can turn around and comfort them, as it looks like she has, to make the person feel like they care and will protect them. When what the person really needs protection from is from them.
Does this make any sense to you? I hope so.
Look, I understand you don't want to be the cause of this teacher losing her career, but for one thing she is there to teach the school curriculum but it sounds like she wants to "teach" you something entirely different. And another thing it would not be you who ruins her career, it would be her fault for choosing to do what she is doing. And I don't care if you are gay or straight or whatever, a professional teacher would not do what she is doing with a student under her care!

With all that said, if you want to give her a hint that you don't like all that touching and stuff, as CD Delorenzo said, do that. But I would still talk to a counselor about your concerns anyway(someone else in the school system should know about this in case she takes the hint from you but then does it to someone else). Then if she never, and I mean NEVER, does anything like this again, there is the 1 in 1,000,000,000th chance that it was innocent. But if it's not, you would not only be helping yourself but also other potential victims of this "teacher", who might not have the self-esteem to report her, by gettin this person out of the school system and away from children.

btw, it doesn't matter if your classmates hate her or like her, what matters is what she is doing to you.

Next time she does it just go "What the hell is your problem?" or something. The fact that you didn't say anything all the time she was doing this, gives her the idea that she can continue to do it without getting in trouble. The best idea on this thread so far is to go the counsler. She/he may report the teacher, but everything in a guidance counsler's office between the counsler and student is strictly confidential so the teacher won't find out who reported her. There is no reason for you to be uncomfortable around your school and teachers. Some people are affectionate but if she is doing things like holding you to her thighs, and whispering in your ear, there is obviously something wrong. True, she will lose her career, but your safety is alot more important than that.

if shes just touching your hair and stuff then thats alright but if shes holding you in weird ways then you defianently gotta take action...this could end up really messy though....does the school have security cameras?

Talk to her first about it, and if she continues...then tell someone else.

Originally posted by *A TV People*
Talk to her first about it, and if she continues...then tell someone else.

I agree. This almost smells of sexual harrassment to me!:eek:

Originally posted by Penny Lane
I agree. This almost smells of sexual harrassment to me!:eek:

Tara, I agree with that too. If it makes you that uncomfortable than it really isn't right at all.

confront her before talking to anyone else imo.

Originally posted by consentida
I've talked to other people in her classes and they all hate her with a burning passion for one reason or another. Everyone that I've talk to said that they didnt find anything particularly inappropriate about her behavior. They all just find her to be the most evil and insensitive person they've ever met, which makes what she's doing to me even more strange.

From my knowledge of this teacher, she's not close with any of her students. She definitely separates herself from most of them. Even when I had her in tenth grade, she was like that. Like i said, before this we didnt have any kind of relationship at all. I was in her class, she knew my name and that was it. And this year, she just...changed.

I dont know. I'm just really confused and I feel really lost because on one hand everyone and their mother is telling me to report her. And on the other hand I dont want to get this woman in trouble if her intentions turn out to be completely and honestly innocent.

Did you try to talk to her already or something? I don't know if what she does is inappropriate or not. I mean it is in a way because it makes you feel weird, but in another way it might be not because you don't know her intentions... maybe ask her why she's hugging you and stuff...

I know how it is with having a teacher that everybody hates. At my school there was one like that too. She pretty much was the most hated person there, but I never really understood why. She and I always got along great and she was my fav teacher actually. Now she never touched me or anything, and we barely really talked, but when we did she'd always listen to me. She was the only one there who realized I had a lot of problems and saw right through me, everybody else thought I was just happy and stuff. But yeah, nevermind, that doesn't have anything to do with your problem. I hope you find a solution for that soon :)

Originally posted by CD DeLorenzo
but in another way it might be not because you don't know her intentions... maybe ask her why she's hugging you and stuff...


that's the thing, if her intentions are bad, she's not going to come right out and say it unless she's a real psychopath.

I really hate to bump this up but I need your opinions and advice...

So, I waited everything out and my teacher was fine until today.

I was walking with her in the hallway after school and we were both leaving. We just happened to catch each other at that time. So we were walking and talking and I mentioned that I was getting picked up at 2 p.m. We get outside and I said "I really hope my brother in law is here because I really want to go home." And so I looked outside and my brother in law wasnt there. She asked me if he was there yet and I said no. So, we said our goodbyes or whatever and she went to her car.

Less than two minutes later, my brother in law came and I got into the car. I looked over to where the teacher parks and she hadnt gotten in her car yet. And when my brother in law started to drive she put her lights and windshield wipers on. As we were coming out of the school she was right behind us. She followed us for a while and then we got to a red light. I seriously thought she was going to turn the opposite way that we were but she didnt. She kept following us. At this point, she was right behind us. I was watching her in the sideview mirror the whole time. Every time my brother in law signaled, she did.

Now, I live in a development that's off another road. She followed us onto the road and up to the entrance of my development. She stopped and then continued on the other road which is a dead end. She pretty much followed me home. I was freaking out in the car. I dont know what to do and I'm scared out of my mind.

I figured I'd wait this out until tomorrow and she how she acts around me and if she says anything.

I need help guys. What should I do?

That's definitely strange. You could wait it out, and see how she behaves in the next few days...but since she's making you so uncomfortable, I wouldn't hesitate to complain. Report her ass, and complain about everything she's done strangely.

REPORT HER.

You can't wait it out with someone who stalks. She's clearly stalking you and she's clearly showing dangerous behavior. There's no such thing as over-reacting to something like this. You need to report her, and tell your parents and/or anyone that will listen and be concerned.

REPORT HER ASAP. Before, I thought her actions werent too bad, I wouldnt have done anything either, but following you home? What if she starts driving by and being a peeping tom over the weekend and such? You shouldnt live in fear of her.

I would defintely tell the higher-ups about her.

She held you up against her thigh?

wtf...

If I were you I'd report her, I'd never let a teacher hit me or touch me. :eek:

EDIT:

I just read your post up there....she followed you home.

I really don't think you're over reacting, report her ASAP!!!

If I were you I'd be freaking out too!

What did your brother in law do when you freaked out?

Have you told anyone?

Originally posted by ThirteenInchEscape
confront her before talking to anyone else imo.

Agreed


I don't think you should report her before telling her to stop. Some people are just touchy feely and don't mean anything by it. If you are uncomfortable, tell her to stop. If she doesn't stop, tell the principle and your parents right away. But first, tell her how you feel.

Originally posted by consentida
I really hate to bump this up but I need your opinions and advice...

So, I waited everything out and my teacher was fine until today.

I was walking with her in the hallway after school and we were both leaving. We just happened to catch each other at that time. So we were walking and talking and I mentioned that I was getting picked up at 2 p.m. We get outside and I said "I really hope my brother in law is here because I really want to go home." And so I looked outside and my brother in law wasnt there. She asked me if he was there yet and I said no. So, we said our goodbyes or whatever and she went to her car.

Less than two minutes later, my brother in law came and I got into the car. I looked over to where the teacher parks and she hadnt gotten in her car yet. And when my brother in law started to drive she put her lights and windshield wipers on. As we were coming out of the school she was right behind us. She followed us for a while and then we got to a red light. I seriously thought she was going to turn the opposite way that we were but she didnt. She kept following us. At this point, she was right behind us. I was watching her in the sideview mirror the whole time. Every time my brother in law signaled, she did.

Now, I live in a development that's off another road. She followed us onto the road and up to the entrance of my development. She stopped and then continued on the other road which is a dead end. She pretty much followed me home. I was freaking out in the car. I dont know what to do and I'm scared out of my mind.

I figured I'd wait this out until tomorrow and she how she acts around me and if she says anything.

I need help guys. What should I do?

Sorry I skipped over this part. Definitely tell your parents about this. Let an adult handle the situation.

I think I'm just going to wait until tomorrow. Maybe she'll talk about it. If I confront her, she'll deny it till she's blue in the face. Maybe she'll bring it up. Or I can find a way to bring it up and maybe she can give me a reason. It just doesnt make any sense and I just....I cant even handle this right now. I think I just need to go to sleep. Thanks guys. I'll try and keep you posted.

I hope for the best for you. Please keep us posted. One thing I can't tolerate are degenerates that go after young kids.

Originally posted by consentida
I think I'm just going to wait until tomorrow. Maybe she'll talk about it. If I confront her, she'll deny it till she's blue in the face. Maybe she'll bring it up. Or I can find a way to bring it up and maybe she can give me a reason. It just doesnt make any sense and I just....I cant even handle this right now. I think I just need to go to sleep. Thanks guys. I'll try and keep you posted.
If I were you I wouldn't even go near her. And definitely report her, if not to the principal then at least to the guidance counselor! Don't ask her about it, you know she is most likely just going to tell you what you want to hear.
Following you home?! That's bordering on obsession, and you are right to be scared! That is your instinct talking to you. Trust it.
After this and all that other stuff you said that she was doing before, why are you even questioning what you need to do?!

Good luck!

Don't wait, report her right away, I wouldn't confront her alone, no way. After following you home, she might try to physically harm you if you confront her. Not trying to scare you, but I would tell your parents, and have them go with you to talk to your principal and then possibly the school board.

Also sorry I don't believe that it's right at all for her to have been even touching your hair, touching you in anyway, unless she just tapped you on the shoulder to get your attention in class is one thing, but otherwise, no that's sexual harassment.

Report her.... immediately.

I agree with everyone report her, but have your parents with when you reporting her. make sure you tell everything.

Maybe she's like that teacher on Battle Royale?


Ok...that is a really creepy thought, I'm putting another one down on report.

Wow :eek: this woman is out of control. i say report her. if it were me i wouldn't confront her. if she's already followed you home, then who knows what she's capable of. i say tell your parents and have them come with you to tell the counselor or principal. don't be alone with this lady!

Please report her immediately.

In my opinion, this woman was out of control from the beginning. Sexual harassment is sexual harassment. And now she's stalking.

REPORT HER

Touching you may have had innocent intentions, but it's uncalled-for for a teacher-or anyone- to follow you home.

While I am sure you pretty much have irrefutable proof, it couldnt hurt to look up her name in a phone book on the offchance she does live in your direction, even though it is improbable

Originally posted by ThirteenInchEscape
While I am sure you pretty much have irrefutable proof, it couldnt hurt to look up her name in a phone book on the offchance she does live in your direction, even though it is improbable

She doesnt live anywhere near me. She lives in like the opposite direction of where I live. I dont know the exact town but I've seen her drive home sometimes while being on the road, and she goes like....the complete opposite way. She was following us....there's no doubt about that. I just...dont know why. My brother in law suggested that she may have known someone that lives in my direction but I highly doubt it. She followed us directly from the school parking lot to where my development is.

Call me crazy, but I really do think she's harmless. That's why I'm so hesitant about all this. I want to be absolutely sure. Maybe she's just a little concerned about me being that my friend told her I was having problems at home with my parents. That's the only valid reason why she would be following us. Maybe she wanted to see for herself what kind of place I live in or whatever. I dont know.

She was perfectly fine today. Okay, so maybe she was overly nice today but that's the only thing I found strange about her behavior. I mean, she's stopped with the touchy-feely-ness. She rarely ever puts her hands on me. Maybe every once in a while she rub my arm but that's it. I dont know. I just want to be sure before I go getting people in trouble that dont deserve to be...

I still have a vote of confront then

Waiting to be "absolutely sure" may end up being a mistake by you. You should just do it. Complain.

Originally posted by consentida
I want to be absolutely sure.

Being absolutely sure could have dire consequences. You don't want to wait until she touches you in the wrong place or kisses you inappropriately. At the very least, tell your parents let them be aware of the situation.

I know you don't want to risk ruining her life if she's innocent. But she obviously has issues. She could have approached you in a normal manner if she were concerned about your situation at home (not followed you home)! If you report her now, she still has a chance to get whatever help she needs. If you wait it out, thereby giving her a chance to harm you, both of you will be worse off. And even if she doesn't do anything else, she still needs to get help. Her behaviour isn't acceptable any way you look at it.

This woman is definitely sick. You really should report her as soon as possible.

Don't wait, it could be just an act, to throw you off guard.

She did something to make you uncomfortable enough and more than once, that is enough even with suspicions to tell your parents