Frasierfan1983
10-20-2004, 03:43 PM
Just to remind everyone what a great "couple" they were...
Courtesy of the Frasier Files: (http://www.geocities.com/Hollywood/Derby/3267/)
[1.4]I Hate Frasier Crane
Niles: [to Roz:] Hello, I don't believe we've met.
Roz: Yes we have, Niles, three or four times. Roz Doyle.
Niles: Oh, of course. It was at the... it was during the... well, I'm far too successful to feel awkward. Where did we meet?
Roz: The radio station.
Niles: Ah, I'll take your word for it. Nice to see you again.
[2.14]Fool Me Once, Shame On You
Frasier: So, Roz, you gonna join us?
Roz: [pointedly at Niles] No, I think I'll just go sit over here.
Niles: Roz? Are you trying to avoid me?
Roz: Well, can you blame me? I mean, it took you nearly a year just to learn my name and every time we sit together, you have some kind of snide remark to make.
Niles: Name one.
Roz: Well, last week you told me my bedroom was easier to get
into than a community college.
Niles: I was hoping that would be the one you'd name.
[2.17]Daphne's Room
Frasier: [to Roz:] Maris was upset with Niles so he bought her a
Mercedes.
Roz: Woof!
Frasier: [to Niles:] And if you're suggesting that I buy my way out
of my problem, the answer is no! It's the coward’s way out!
Niles: Oh, so I'm a coward?
Frasier: Yes!
Niles: Well, I'm a coward with a hickey!
Roz: [to Niles:] Buy me a Mercedes and I'll make your neck look like a relief map of the Andes.
[4.5]Head Game
Niles is sitting in the booth listening to a caller drone on with an
extremely bored look on his face. Roz is just sitting back smiling.
Linda: [v.o.] And now we're at the point where all communication has broken down. He won't even listen to me.
Niles: [bored] Linda-
Linda: Do you know how annoying that is – not to be listened to?
Niles: [bored] Linda-
Linda: It's driving me crazy. I was hoping maybe you would speak to him directly.
Niles: Excuse me one moment. [presses the cough button] Thank you for the brilliant job of call screening, Roz. How do I get out of
this?
Roz: Did you ever think of saying you've other callers on the line?
Niles: [back on air] Linda, I'd love to go into this in more depth
but unfortunately we're nearly out of time and Roz has lots of
other callers waiting anxiously on the line.
Roz: Actually, Dr. Crane, all lines are open!
[5.2]The Gift Horse
Niles: Hello.
[Startled, Frasier breaks away from Roz, who continues the charade by keeping her arms around him and nuzzling his neck.]
Frasier: Hello, Niles. You know, this isn't what it looks like. You
see, her ex-boyfriend was just... [off her nuzzling] Oh, just stop that!
Niles: Please, no explanation necessary. I assume that at the next meeting of Seattle's "Haven't Kissed Roz Club," it will just
be me and the archbishop.
Roz: I'll save you the club fees.
Niles: What-?
[Roz kisses Niles and exits, leaving him somewhat philosophical.]
Niles: Everyone kisses better than Maris!
[6.16]Decoys
Martin: Oh-ho... well, maybe you and Niles can cheer each other up.
Niles: [nervous] Dad...
Roz: Why, what's his problem?
Martin: Oh, Daphne's got a new boyfriend and it's eating him up.
Niles: Dad!
Roz: What? [to Niles] You've got a thing for Daphne?
Martin: What, you didn't know that after all these years?
Roz: No! I can't believe Daphne never told me.
Martin: Well, how could she? She doesn't know either.
Roz: You're kidding! [they laugh]
Niles: Yes, yes, he's a great kidder. Now, you Dad, run along, and you be very careful crossing streets!
[6.16]Decoys (again)
Frasier: You know, Niles, you're behaving awfully strangely. What
the heck is going on?
Niles: What do you mean?
Frasier: I mean that you show absolutely no desire to be alone with Roz! I'm starting to have serious doubts about this so-called "romance"!
Niles: Oh, really? Well, does this look so-called to you? [to Roz]
Come here, Pookie!
Niles pulls Roz across his lap and gives her a passionate kiss.
[8.15]Hooping Cranes
Roz: Wow, Niles! You finally made varsity after thirty years, huh?
Niles: Yes, but it's not a real varsity jacket, Roz, so you're under
no obligation to sleep with me.
[9.1]Don Juan In Hell
Roz is reading at a table. Niles, wearing shorts, a tropical shirt,
and his beard, gets his coffee from the counter.
Niles: Excuse me, miss, do you have the time?
Roz: [glances up, then checks her watch] Yes, it's- [double-take]
Niles?
Niles: [Jamaican accent] Ya, mon!
Roz: You look... did you get hit on the head by a coconut?
Niles: The coconut of revelation. I discovered a whole new side of myself in Belize, and I'm not going to abandon Island Niles just 'cause my vacation's over.
Roz: Well, Island Niles might want to rethink the short pants.
Niles: Island Niles would prefer not to wear pants at all.
[11.1]No Sex Please, We're Skittish
Niles: Listen, this isn't an easy subject to broach, but is it possible you're in love with Frasier?
Roz: Absolutely not.
Niles: You sound sure.
Roz: I am sure. I mean, if I were going to fall for him it would
have been two years ago when we slept together.
Niles: Well then, another theory I'd like to explore is... HO, - back
up! You and Frasier slept together?
Roz: He didn't tell you?
Niles: No... Well, I suppose it's only natural. When the wolf and
the lamb work together, it's only a matter of time before the wolf gets his way. I hope you were gentle with him.
Courtesy of the Frasier Files: (http://www.geocities.com/Hollywood/Derby/3267/)
[1.4]I Hate Frasier Crane
Niles: [to Roz:] Hello, I don't believe we've met.
Roz: Yes we have, Niles, three or four times. Roz Doyle.
Niles: Oh, of course. It was at the... it was during the... well, I'm far too successful to feel awkward. Where did we meet?
Roz: The radio station.
Niles: Ah, I'll take your word for it. Nice to see you again.
[2.14]Fool Me Once, Shame On You
Frasier: So, Roz, you gonna join us?
Roz: [pointedly at Niles] No, I think I'll just go sit over here.
Niles: Roz? Are you trying to avoid me?
Roz: Well, can you blame me? I mean, it took you nearly a year just to learn my name and every time we sit together, you have some kind of snide remark to make.
Niles: Name one.
Roz: Well, last week you told me my bedroom was easier to get
into than a community college.
Niles: I was hoping that would be the one you'd name.
[2.17]Daphne's Room
Frasier: [to Roz:] Maris was upset with Niles so he bought her a
Mercedes.
Roz: Woof!
Frasier: [to Niles:] And if you're suggesting that I buy my way out
of my problem, the answer is no! It's the coward’s way out!
Niles: Oh, so I'm a coward?
Frasier: Yes!
Niles: Well, I'm a coward with a hickey!
Roz: [to Niles:] Buy me a Mercedes and I'll make your neck look like a relief map of the Andes.
[4.5]Head Game
Niles is sitting in the booth listening to a caller drone on with an
extremely bored look on his face. Roz is just sitting back smiling.
Linda: [v.o.] And now we're at the point where all communication has broken down. He won't even listen to me.
Niles: [bored] Linda-
Linda: Do you know how annoying that is – not to be listened to?
Niles: [bored] Linda-
Linda: It's driving me crazy. I was hoping maybe you would speak to him directly.
Niles: Excuse me one moment. [presses the cough button] Thank you for the brilliant job of call screening, Roz. How do I get out of
this?
Roz: Did you ever think of saying you've other callers on the line?
Niles: [back on air] Linda, I'd love to go into this in more depth
but unfortunately we're nearly out of time and Roz has lots of
other callers waiting anxiously on the line.
Roz: Actually, Dr. Crane, all lines are open!
[5.2]The Gift Horse
Niles: Hello.
[Startled, Frasier breaks away from Roz, who continues the charade by keeping her arms around him and nuzzling his neck.]
Frasier: Hello, Niles. You know, this isn't what it looks like. You
see, her ex-boyfriend was just... [off her nuzzling] Oh, just stop that!
Niles: Please, no explanation necessary. I assume that at the next meeting of Seattle's "Haven't Kissed Roz Club," it will just
be me and the archbishop.
Roz: I'll save you the club fees.
Niles: What-?
[Roz kisses Niles and exits, leaving him somewhat philosophical.]
Niles: Everyone kisses better than Maris!
[6.16]Decoys
Martin: Oh-ho... well, maybe you and Niles can cheer each other up.
Niles: [nervous] Dad...
Roz: Why, what's his problem?
Martin: Oh, Daphne's got a new boyfriend and it's eating him up.
Niles: Dad!
Roz: What? [to Niles] You've got a thing for Daphne?
Martin: What, you didn't know that after all these years?
Roz: No! I can't believe Daphne never told me.
Martin: Well, how could she? She doesn't know either.
Roz: You're kidding! [they laugh]
Niles: Yes, yes, he's a great kidder. Now, you Dad, run along, and you be very careful crossing streets!
[6.16]Decoys (again)
Frasier: You know, Niles, you're behaving awfully strangely. What
the heck is going on?
Niles: What do you mean?
Frasier: I mean that you show absolutely no desire to be alone with Roz! I'm starting to have serious doubts about this so-called "romance"!
Niles: Oh, really? Well, does this look so-called to you? [to Roz]
Come here, Pookie!
Niles pulls Roz across his lap and gives her a passionate kiss.
[8.15]Hooping Cranes
Roz: Wow, Niles! You finally made varsity after thirty years, huh?
Niles: Yes, but it's not a real varsity jacket, Roz, so you're under
no obligation to sleep with me.
[9.1]Don Juan In Hell
Roz is reading at a table. Niles, wearing shorts, a tropical shirt,
and his beard, gets his coffee from the counter.
Niles: Excuse me, miss, do you have the time?
Roz: [glances up, then checks her watch] Yes, it's- [double-take]
Niles?
Niles: [Jamaican accent] Ya, mon!
Roz: You look... did you get hit on the head by a coconut?
Niles: The coconut of revelation. I discovered a whole new side of myself in Belize, and I'm not going to abandon Island Niles just 'cause my vacation's over.
Roz: Well, Island Niles might want to rethink the short pants.
Niles: Island Niles would prefer not to wear pants at all.
[11.1]No Sex Please, We're Skittish
Niles: Listen, this isn't an easy subject to broach, but is it possible you're in love with Frasier?
Roz: Absolutely not.
Niles: You sound sure.
Roz: I am sure. I mean, if I were going to fall for him it would
have been two years ago when we slept together.
Niles: Well then, another theory I'd like to explore is... HO, - back
up! You and Frasier slept together?
Roz: He didn't tell you?
Niles: No... Well, I suppose it's only natural. When the wolf and
the lamb work together, it's only a matter of time before the wolf gets his way. I hope you were gentle with him.