Memo to all employees:

In order to assure the highest levels of quality work and productivity from employees, it will be our policy to keep all employees well trained through our program of SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (S.H.I.T)

We are trying to give our employees more S.H.I.T than anyone else. If you feel that you do not receive your share of S.H.I.T on the course, please see your supervisor. You will be immediately placed at the top of the S.H.I.T list, and our supervisors are especially skilled at seeing you get all the S. H. I. T. you can handle.

Employees who don't take their S. H. I.T. will be placed in DEPARTMENTAL EMPLOYEE EVALUATION PROGRAMS (D.E.E.P.S.H.I.T).

Those who fail to take D.E.E.P. S.H.I.T seriously will have to go to EMPLOYEE ATTITUDE TRAINING (E.A.T.S.H.I.T).

Since our supervisors took S.H.I.T before they were promoted, they don't have to do S.H.I.T anymore, and are all full of S.H.I.T already.

If you are full of S.H.I.T, you may be interested in a job teaching others. We can add your name to our BASIC UNDERSTANDING LIST of LEADERS (B.U.L.L.S.H.I.T).

For employees who are intending to pursue a career in management and consulting, we will refer you to the department of MANAGERIAL OPERATIONAL RESEARCH EDUCATION (M.O.R.E.S.H.I.T). This course emphasizes how to manage M.O.R.E. S.H.I.T

If you have further questions, please direct them to our HEAD OF TEACHING, SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (H.O.T.S..H.I.T).

Thank you,
BOSS IN GENERAL, SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (B.I.G.S.H.I.T)



Thank you for your time.

Sincerely,
The Director Under the Main Bureau of Super High Intensity Training. (The D.U.M.B.S.H.I.T).

:rofl:

Hahaha! i'll have to save that for my co workers.

Good one Danni. :lol:

these boards are officially unfair if this post isn't deleted/edited.

Originally posted by safety pin
these boards are officially unfair if this post isn't deleted/edited.

Why, because of the abbreviations? (Which are of course purely coincidental...)

Originally posted by Dutabi84
Why, because of the abbreviations? (Which are of course purely coincidental...)
sara was warned for putting "f*ck" and "sh*t" all over a thread.

Originally posted by safety pin
sara was warned for putting "f*ck" and "sh*t" all over a thread.
There's a difference. The F word is never allowed, and wouldn't be allowed in Ag's joke either. This is a silly joke that's not hurting anyone.

If someone is directing the profanity towards another member or in a general rant, that's a different story.

Originally posted by Janice
There's a difference. The F word is never allowed, and wouldn't be allowed in Ag's joke either. This is a silly joke that's not hurting anyone.

If someone is directing the profanity towards another member or in a general rant, that's a different story.
then how come i said "f-ck" one time and you changed it to "****"?

:lol: :lol: :lol:

:lol: I just quit working for those people.

I have to print this off for my dad to take to work. He'll appreciate it. :D

:rofl:!!!!!!!!!!!

Originally posted by safety pin
then how come i said "f-ck" one time and you changed it to "****"?
Because I'm out to get you Sarah.

Writing the F word as you described is not allowed. Just write the profanity and let the censoring system filter it out.

Ags posted an innocent joke. Don't start in with an investigation about past warnings, edits or whatever. PM either me or TJ with your issues. Keep it off the boards.

Originally posted by Janice
Because I'm out to get you Sarah.

:lol: That cracked me up.

Anyways, I kinda thought it'd get closed too, but since it's not...

:rotflmao: Oh my Lord...

Originally posted by Janice
Because I'm out to get you Sarah.

I knew it all along. :p ;) :crazy: :lol:

Originally posted by Janice
Because I'm out to get you Sarah.

Writing the F word as you described is not allowed. Just write the profanity and let the censoring system filter it out.

Ags posted an innocent joke. Don't start in with an investigation about past warnings, edits or whatever. PM either me or TJ with your issues. Keep it off the boards.
.. this board makes no sense. the end.

Originally posted by safety pin
.. this board makes no sense. the end.
I do the best I can, and this isn't an exact science. I have to make calls, and can't have them second guessed all the time. I do try my best to be consistent, but nobody's perfect. :)

Who is that in your avatar?

Originally posted by Janice
I do the best I can, and this isn't an exact science. I have to make calls, and can't have them second guessed all the time. I do try my best to be consistent, but nobody's perfect. :)

Who is that in your avatar?
god, when he was a young lad.

:lol:

Originally posted by safety pin
these boards are officially unfair if this post isn't deleted/edited. what - didn't you get the memo about THAT?

wait one more question, can we say ****ing and go around the censors if we're referring to the village in austria? cause that's really what it's called.

Originally posted by safety pin
god, when he was a young lad.

AKA Lars from Metallica :p

Originally posted by -*Forever*-
AKA Lars from Metallica :p
:nod: congratulations child. you get a doggie biscuit.

I expected the laughs. I didn't expect the anger...I guess It's a good thing I didn't post the story of the **** family (which is really funny by the way)

D

Originally posted by safety pin
:nod: congratulations child. you get a doggie biscuit.

:eek: That makes me special :D

One of my co-workers gave this to me a long while back.. I love it. :rotflmao:

Originally posted by Ags2000
I expected the laughs. I didn't expect the anger...I guess It's a good thing I didn't post the story of the **** family (which is really funny by the way)

D
i wasn't getting pissed off.. i did think it was funny and creative, i was just saying it was unfair that you got to post it.

Originally posted by safety pin
i wasn't getting pissed off.. i did think it was funny and creative, i was just saying it was unfair that you got to post it.


Why? It was a joke that even you admitted you laughed at. That's what it was for. There is a difference between making a joke and cussing at somebody left and right with vulgarities.

Anyway, it was still meant for a joke so take it as a joke.

D

Originally posted by Ags2000
I expected the laughs. I didn't expect the anger...I guess It's a good thing I didn't post the story of the **** family (which is really funny by the way)

D Please do :notworthy

:lol: oh man that's awesome. I'm printing this one out.

Originally posted by *A TV People*
Please do :notworthy

Umm..... :angdev: Okay, here it goes. If this offends anybody I'm sorry, but once again this is purely a joke and not meant to tick anyone off or call anyone names.


The next time someone says "You don't know Jack Schitt", prove them wrong!


The Schitt Family History

Jack is the only son of Awe Schitt and O. Schitt.

Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married O. Schitt, a partner of Knee-deep & Schitt Inc.

In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt, and the deeply religious couple produced 6 children: Holie Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Giva Schitt, Bull Schitt, and the twins: Deap Schitt and Dip Schitt.

Against her parents' objections, Deap Schitt, married Dumb Schitt a high school drop out. After being married 15 years, Jack and Noe Schitt divorced.

Noe Schitt later married Mr. Sherlock and because her kids were living with them, she wanted to keep her previous name. She was then known as Noe Schitt-Sherlock.

Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt and they produced a nervous son, Chicken Schitt.

Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt were inseparable throughout childhood and subsequently married the Happens brothers in a dual ceremony.

The wedding announcement in the local newspaper announced the Schitt Happens wedding.

The Schitt-Happens children were Dawg, Byrd, and Hoarse. Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world. He recently returned from Italy with his new bride Piza Schitt.

So now if someone says "You don't know Jack Schitt". You can correct them.

Not only do you know Jack, you know his whole family.


D

Originally posted by Ags2000
Umm..... :angdev: Okay, here it goes. If this offends anybody I'm sorry, but once again this is purely a joke and not meant to tick anyone off or call anyone names.


The next time someone says "You don't know Jack Schitt", prove them wrong!


The Schitt Family History

Jack is the only son of Awe Schitt and O. Schitt.

Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married O. Schitt, a partner of Knee-deep & Schitt Inc.

In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt, and the deeply religious couple produced 6 children: Holie Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Giva Schitt, Bull Schitt, and the twins: Deap Schitt and Dip Schitt.

Against her parents' objections, Deap Schitt, married Dumb Schitt a high school drop out. After being married 15 years, Jack and Noe Schitt divorced.

Noe Schitt later married Mr. Sherlock and because her kids were living with them, she wanted to keep her previous name. She was then known as Noe Schitt-Sherlock.

Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt and they produced a nervous son, Chicken Schitt.

Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt were inseparable throughout childhood and subsequently married the Happens brothers in a dual ceremony.

The wedding announcement in the local newspaper announced the Schitt Happens wedding.

The Schitt-Happens children were Dawg, Byrd, and Hoarse. Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world. He recently returned from Italy with his new bride Piza Schitt.

So now if someone says "You don't know Jack Schitt". You can correct them.

Not only do you know Jack, you know his whole family.


D :lol: :woohoo:

OMG :rotflmao:

:lol: :lol: :lol:

Originally posted by crystals
:lol: :lol: :lol:

Thank you! Thank you!

I'll be here all week. :)

D

Originally posted by Ags2000
Thank you! Thank you!

I'll be here all week. :)

D *puts 20$ bill in your cleavage*

That describes my work place perfectly! I want to print that!

Originally posted by Ags2000
Umm..... :angdev: Okay, here it goes. If this offends anybody I'm sorry, but once again this is purely a joke and not meant to tick anyone off or call anyone names.


The next time someone says "You don't know Jack Schitt", prove them wrong!


The Schitt Family History

Jack is the only son of Awe Schitt and O. Schitt.

Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married O. Schitt, a partner of Knee-deep & Schitt Inc.

In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt, and the deeply religious couple produced 6 children: Holie Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Giva Schitt, Bull Schitt, and the twins: Deap Schitt and Dip Schitt.

Against her parents' objections, Deap Schitt, married Dumb Schitt a high school drop out. After being married 15 years, Jack and Noe Schitt divorced.

Noe Schitt later married Mr. Sherlock and because her kids were living with them, she wanted to keep her previous name. She was then known as Noe Schitt-Sherlock.

Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt and they produced a nervous son, Chicken Schitt.

Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt were inseparable throughout childhood and subsequently married the Happens brothers in a dual ceremony.

The wedding announcement in the local newspaper announced the Schitt Happens wedding.

The Schitt-Happens children were Dawg, Byrd, and Hoarse. Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world. He recently returned from Italy with his new bride Piza Schitt.

So now if someone says "You don't know Jack Schitt". You can correct them.

Not only do you know Jack, you know his whole family.


D

Oh my god...

:rofl:

Please excuse me while I pick myself up off the floor.

Originally posted by Ags2000
Umm..... :angdev: Okay, here it goes. If this offends anybody I'm sorry, but once again this is purely a joke and not meant to tick anyone off or call anyone names.


The next time someone says "You don't know Jack Schitt", prove them wrong!


The Schitt Family History

Jack is the only son of Awe Schitt and O. Schitt.

Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married O. Schitt, a partner of Knee-deep & Schitt Inc.

In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt, and the deeply religious couple produced 6 children: Holie Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Giva Schitt, Bull Schitt, and the twins: Deap Schitt and Dip Schitt.

Against her parents' objections, Deap Schitt, married Dumb Schitt a high school drop out. After being married 15 years, Jack and Noe Schitt divorced.

Noe Schitt later married Mr. Sherlock and because her kids were living with them, she wanted to keep her previous name. She was then known as Noe Schitt-Sherlock.

Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt and they produced a nervous son, Chicken Schitt.

Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt were inseparable throughout childhood and subsequently married the Happens brothers in a dual ceremony.

The wedding announcement in the local newspaper announced the Schitt Happens wedding.

The Schitt-Happens children were Dawg, Byrd, and Hoarse. Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world. He recently returned from Italy with his new bride Piza Schitt.

So now if someone says "You don't know Jack Schitt". You can correct them.

Not only do you know Jack, you know his whole family.


D :rotflmao: :rotflmao:

Originally posted by Ags2000
Memo to all employees:

In order to assure the highest levels of quality work and productivity from employees, it will be our policy to keep all employees well trained through our program of SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (S.H.I.T)

We are trying to give our employees more S.H.I.T than anyone else. If you feel that you do not receive your share of S.H.I.T on the course, please see your supervisor. You will be immediately placed at the top of the S.H.I.T list, and our supervisors are especially skilled at seeing you get all the S. H. I. T. you can handle.

Employees who don't take their S. H. I.T. will be placed in DEPARTMENTAL EMPLOYEE EVALUATION PROGRAMS (D.E.E.P.S.H.I.T).

Those who fail to take D.E.E.P. S.H.I.T seriously will have to go to EMPLOYEE ATTITUDE TRAINING (E.A.T.S.H.I.T).

Since our supervisors took S.H.I.T before they were promoted, they don't have to do S.H.I.T anymore, and are all full of S.H.I.T already.

If you are full of S.H.I.T, you may be interested in a job teaching others. We can add your name to our BASIC UNDERSTANDING LIST of LEADERS (B.U.L.L.S.H.I.T).

For employees who are intending to pursue a career in management and consulting, we will refer you to the department of MANAGERIAL OPERATIONAL RESEARCH EDUCATION (M.O.R.E.S.H.I.T). This course emphasizes how to manage M.O.R.E. S.H.I.T

If you have further questions, please direct them to our HEAD OF TEACHING, SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (H.O.T.S..H.I.T).

Thank you,
BOSS IN GENERAL, SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (B.I.G.S.H.I.T)



Thank you for your time.

Sincerely,
The Director Under the Main Bureau of Super High Intensity Training. (The D.U.M.B.S.H.I.T). :rotflmao:

thanx alot now my brother is wondering why i am sitting here giggling like a school girl. :happyface