My all time favorite is this one. It was from 'New Neighbors'

>Beaver: Dad, you're a married man aren't you?
Ward: Yeah, I think we're safe in assuming that.
Beaver: And mom's a married woman, isn't she?
Ward: Oh, yes.
Beaver: Have you ever kissed any other married woman besides mom?
Ward: Beaver, why would you ask a question like that?
Beaver: (shrugs) I'm just wondering.
Ward: Actually son... No!.
Beaver: I guess you were 'scared to, huh?
*********************** Later, after explaining to June what Beaver said:
June: Ward, why haven't you ever kissed any other married women?
Ward: (smiling) You know why dear... I was afraid to.

I really liked that one. LOL
Beaver was so young and inocent then.

mine's in my signature

BeaverFan5, I don't remember that quote. What episode is that from?

From 'Teacher Comes to Dinner':
June: Beaver. Take Miss Landers by the arm.
Beaver: But she doesn't have any clothes on it!

From 'Lumpy Rutherford':
Ward: What happened, Fred. You said you were waylaid in an alley?
Fred: Right in my own driveway, by a gang of hoodlums!
Ward: That's a shame, Fred. Good thing you weren't carrying the color slides.

Originally posted by JudgeGarth
From 'Teacher Comes to Dinner':
June: Beaver. Take Miss Landers by the arm.
Beaver: But she doesn't have any clothes on it!

From 'Lumpy Rutherford':
Ward: What happened, Fred. You said you were waylaid in an alley?
Fred: Right in my own driveway, by a gang of hoodlums!
Ward: That's a shame, Fred. Good thing you weren't carrying the color slides.

Thats 2 good ones JG.
I'll have to check them out if they show them again.

This may not be an exact quote...

"What are you two boys fighting about?"
"Dad, Beaver ripped my dress!!!"
"What's going on here?"
"Beaver ripped Wally's dress"

:lol:

One of my favorites ................

Wally -- "Gee, dad, if a girl called here for me, you wouldn't tell her I was in the bathtub, would ya?"

Ward -- "Well, Wally, with the number of baths you take, I don't think the risk is very great."

:lol:

From the hysterical episode "Wally's Haircomb" .............

June -- "Ward, he just looks like a ... a ... a gangster! The next thing you know he'll be wearing a leather jacket and motorcycle boots!" :lol:

Ward -- "Well, I guess it's just like marriage. You know, the first few weeks the bride is all glamour and makeup .... before you know it -- wham! -- old housecoat and hair curlers."

June -- "I don't think I appreciate the comparison."

Ward -- "Oh, it didn't apply to you dear. Your hair looks like it never saw a curler."

:rotflmao:

Ward -- "Well, Duke, is Mayfield going to have another good [basketball] team next year?"

Duke Hathaway -- "Oh, I don't think so, Mister Cleaver. I'm graduating."

:lol:

Mr. Garvey (junk man who's buying Wally's [gutted] first car) -- "Mister Cleaver, THIS is the car you wanted to sell?!"

Ward -- "Well .... I think it is."

Mr. Garvey -- "Looks like a fish that's been boned!! .... What did you do, strip it while I was driving over?!!"

:rofl:

Eddie -- "Your father doesn't like me."

Wally -- "What makes you say that?"

Eddie -- "That look he gives me when he answers the door. Sometimes I think he'd be happier to see Khrushchev standing there."

:lol: :rotflmao: :lol:

Ward -- "Well, boys, what movie are you going to see tonight?"

Eddie -- "We're going to see "Spartacus", Mister Cleaver. I'm a student of history, and I'd like to see if it contains any inaccuracies."

Ward -- "Well, don't you let Kirk Douglas get away with anything Eddie."

:)

Eddie -- "Have you been redecorating, Mrs. Cleaver."

June -- "No, not lately."

Eddie -- "Oh, everything looks so nice and fresh. It must be the way you keep house."

Lumpy (after June exits) -- "It worked better on my mom. You got a hunk of pie out of her."

:lol:

(Ya gotta love that Edward Clark Haskell, AKA: Edward W. Haskell. :))

A few of my favorites.


June: A older boy is picking on the kids in Beaver's class at school.
Wally: I can show the Beave a neat judo move that will bust the kids arm.


Fred: Ward I'm afraid this neighborhood is going to the dogs
Ward: What makes you say that Fred ?
Fred: When I drove up, some kid yelled Hey skinhead !


Beaver: Wally, I wonder if they send kids to the electric chair.
Wally: Of course they do, they have a little chair they put on like they do at the barber shop.


(Girl at Wally's Party)
Girl: MMMM Yummy Candy !


(Beaver gives Donna a locket and her father makes her give it back)

Donna: Ok Daddy I"ll give it back, but something like this could give me a trauma !
Dad: What are we raising around here, one of the Gabor sisters ?


(Larry & Beaver are going to dancing school)
Wally: Beaver will be down in a minute, Mom's digging the dirt out of his ears.

(Mrs. Mondello,June, Ward,& Wally see Larry & Beaver off to dancing school)
June: My My My don't we have to little gentleman here.
Beaver: Who you talking to ?
Wally: You two creeps !

Originally posted by HaskellGirl
BeaverFan5, I don't remember that quote. What episode is that from?

the one where wally is going on the trip up to the lake with no parental supervision

Fred: Ward I'm afraid this neighborhood is going to the dogs
Ward: What makes you say that Fred ?
Fred: When I drove up, some kid yelled Hey skinhead!
What in the world???????????

Which episode was this in?!

I don't recall that at all; and I've seen every ep. hundreds of times. :)

(Perhaps, though, it's from an ep. that's always got that portion edited out, for the proverbial almighty commercial ads. :()

Good line too! :)

Originally posted by David VP
What in the world???????????

Which episode was this in?!

I don't recall that at all; and I've seen every ep. hundreds of times. :)

(Perhaps, though, it's from an ep. that's always got that portion edited out, for the proverbial almighty commercial ads. :()

Good line too! :)



Its in the episode where the Rutherfords take the Cleavers for a picnic and Fred takes the picture of Violet kissing Beaver on the cheek.

I forgot to add that the next lines after that are hilarious too. Fred mentions how when he was young, children called adults "sir" or something like that, and Ward says "I guess kids today are more imaginative". :lol:

Originally posted by HaskellGirl
I forgot to add that the next lines after that are hilarious too. Fred mentions how when he was young, children called adults "sir" or something like that, and Ward says "I guess kids today are more imaginative". :lol:

I must have missed that one too.
They keep leaving a lot of eps out these days.

One of my absolute favorites:

"'Beav, just because I'm your brother doesn't automatically make me stupid."



:lol:

Its in the episode where the Rutherfords take the Cleavers for a picnic and Fred takes the picture of Violet kissing Beaver on the cheek.
Oh, OK.
No wonder I didn't recognize it immediately.
That's the only episode I haven't seen 275 times.
And the only episode I do not have on tape.

Originally posted by HaskellGirl
One of my absolute favorites:

"'Beav, just because I'm your brother doesn't automatically make me stupid."



:lol:
From Wally's Accident"

Beaver: "Wally,do you suppose dad knows about the broken headlight on his car?"

Ward: "Wally,… I want to see you in the den when I come in!"

Wally: "He knows!"

Priceless! LOL

Originally posted by JudgeGarth
From 'Teacher Comes to Dinner':
June: Beaver. Take Miss Landers by the arm.
Beaver: But she doesn't have any clothes on it!

From 'Lumpy Rutherford':
Ward: What happened, Fred. You said you were waylaid in an alley?
Fred: Right in my own driveway, by a gang of hoodlums!
Ward: That's a shame, Fred. Good thing you weren't carrying the color slides.

Here's a few I remember......
*
Ward: Look dear._ I'm not crazy about the idea either._ But we did promise him, and we've never broken a promise to either of the boys before, have we? _
June: No, so it seems to me we've got one coming.

*
June: Ward, do you know he read that book in about four days?
Ward: Hmm, when I was his age I read three and four books a week.
June: Sure, you and Abe Lincoln.

*
Ward: Wally, that sweater cost $19._ Now you bring it home this evening.
Wally: Ah, yeah._ Well, I'll try to. Ward: Try to?_ Well you will to.
Wally: Yes sir._ I will to.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
More as I can remember them.

comet97

Don't remember which ep this is, and it's an approximate quote:


Wally (while studying): ..we're studying the Phoenicians in school...Hey Dad, there aren't any Phoenicians any more, are there?

Ward: No Wally...as time went on, they were gradually absorbed by other races...

Wally: Eddie Haskell says, 'What's the sense of studying about a bunch of guys you'll never meet in business'?

http://switchboard.real.com/player/email.html?PV=6.0.12&&title=teethinpocket&link=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.litb.com%2Fteethinpocket.wav



"You want to go home with your teeth in your pocket?"
:grady:

by Eddie Haskell to Larry Mondello

http://switchboard.real.com/player/email.html?PV=6.0.12&&title=teethinpocket&link=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.litb.com%2Fteethinpocket.wav



"You want to go home with your teeth in your pocket?"
:grady:

by Eddie Haskell to Larry Mondello

There were SO MANY great one liners that it's difficult to select just one, and many have been said here already. I do have one said by Beaver that is short and sweet. It's when Dudley visits the Cleavers in his overcoat and hat, and Beaver asks, "Who died?"

Originally posted by 1954Boomer
There were SO MANY great one liners that it's difficult to select just one, and many have been said here already. I do have one said by Beaver that is short and sweet. It's when Dudley visits the Cleavers in his overcoat and hat, and Beaver asks, "Who died?"


I can't wait to see what the boys are going to come up with next! ;-)

As one poster in another ng said...
If it wasn't for the antics of Eddie Haskell sometimes,the show would turn to molasses.:talk: :crazy: :happyface :) :wave:

I love it when Beaver says to Wally: I would rather do nothing with you than something with anybody else.