A man is looking in the classified ads for a job. He notices an advertisement for a toothbrush salesman and figured that couldn't such a bad job. So, he calls in, he goes in and they hire him. The next day, he heads out to a neighborhood to make some sales. Five hours later he comes home and says, "Man, I only sold one toothbrush. That's not enough"

So the next day he goes to a richer neighborhood, thinking maybe those people would buy more toothbrushes. He ends up selling two toothbrushes. So he goes to his boss for advice and his boss says, "Look, you're a great guy and all, but you gotta come up with a gimmick or something."

So, the salesman thinks about it and, later that night, he finally comes up with one.

So the next day, he sets up a booth near the subway with a sign that says "Free chips and dip" A guy walks over and puts the chip in the dip and says, "This tastes like ****."

And the salesman replied, "Yeah, it is. Wanna buy a toothbrush?





PUT ALL YOUR JOKES HERE!!!!

One day Bill complained to his friend, "My elbow really hurts, I guess I should see a doctor."

His friend offered, "Don't do that. There's a computer at the drug store that can diagnose anything quicker an cheaper than a doctor. Simply put in a sample of your urine and the computer will diagnose your problem and tell you what you can do about it. It only costs $10."

Bill figured he had nothing to lose, so he filled a jar with a urine sample and went to the drug store. Finding the computer, he poured in the sample and deposited the $10. The computer started making some noise and various lights started flashing. After a brief pause out popped a small slip of paper on which was printed: You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water. Avoid heavy lifting. It will be better in two weeks.

Late that evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was and how it would change medical science forever, he began to wonder if this machine could be fooled. He decided to give it a try. He mixed together some tap water, a stool sample from his dog and urine samples from his wife and daughter. To top it off, he masturbated into the concoction.

He went back to the drug store, located the machine, poured in the sample and deposited the $10. The computer again made the usual noise and printed out the following message:

Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. Your dog has worms. Get him vitamins. Your daughter is using cocaine. Put her in a rehabilitation clinic. Your wife is pregnant with twin girls. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer. And if you don't stop jerking off, your tennis elbow will never get better.

Did you hear about the guy they found dead with his head in his cornflakes?

The police thought it was a cereal killer.

Originally posted by moeee
Did you hear about the guy they found dead with his head in his cornflakes?

The police thought it was a cereal killer.

:lol: :lol: :rofl: :rofl: :lol: :lol:




What did the cat recieve after it made a movie?




An A-cat-emy Award!


:D

If H20 is on the inside of a fire hydrant what is on the inside?

K9P
:lol:

i dont get that one.........


Yo' mama so ugly, she can't get a date on a tombstone!

yo mommas so dumb she stuck a phone up her butt and that she was makin a booty call!

Yo mama so tall, she tripped and burnt her lip on the sun.

yo mommas so fat and dumb she saw a bus full of white kids and shouted stop that twinky!!!!!!!!!!!!

:lol:

Yo mama's so fat, she stepped on a scale and it said, "To Be Continued"

Yo momma's so ugly they pushed her face in dough to make gorilla cookies

Yo momma's so fat, she fell in love and broke it.

Yo momma's so fat, she needs a watch on both arms because she covers two time zones.

Yo mama so fat that when her beeper goes off people think she is backin' up:lol:

Yo mama so fat, she leaves stretch marks in the tub.

Yo mama so ugly,she looked out the window and got aressted for mooning

is anyone here a blonde? if so sry if i offended you!:(

Q: how do u react when a blonde throws a pin at you?
A: run like hell. she has a grenade in her mouth!!!

:lol: :lol: :lol:

wha?!?!?:confused:

i dont get it either.:confused:

nevermind...............i got the joke!!!!!!

Yo mama so fat she puts lipstick on with a paint roller!:lol:

hhhhhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhaaaaa!!!:lol:

yo mama's so dumb she put lipstick on her forehead so she can make up her mind:lol:

ok vic, here's the punchline. a pin and a grenade. a pin is really supposed to be attatched to the grenade but ur supposed to take the pin out and throw the GRENADE, not the pin!

:lol:

Yo mama is so dumb, she tripped over a cordless phone

Yo mama so fat her blood type is Ragu!!:lol:

Once upon a time, long long ago, in a land far far away there lived a woman who was just too busy!

She decided to make a clone of herself so she could get twice as much work done.

Well, the clone helped her a lot, but it also gave her a bad reputation because the clone constantly swore.

One day, the woman couldn't take her clone's foul mouth anymore, so she took it to the top of a building and pushed it off.

Soon after, the woman was arrested for making an obscene clone fall.

Once apon a time, their lived in a magical land a snake, named Nate.

In this land, actually rather close to Nate's house there was a great road, and next to this road was a lever.

The lever was ancient, and the mythology around the lever was that if you were to push it, it would trigger the end of the world.

One day, Nate was slithering down the road, and he came upon the lever, and began crossing the road so he could look at it.

At the same moment, a truck came careening around a corner, and the driver found himself in a dilema: either hit the snake or end the world.

Needless to say, the driver ran over nate and went on his merry way.

The moral of the story is: Better Nate than Lever.

hahaha iamhim.....:rolleyes:

that cordless phone one was funny!:lol:

oh yeah, im dying in laughter.......:rolleyes:

thanks!!!!!!! :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: Punkdshorty

A pig and a cow!

The cow jumps over the pig and the pig says, "You wouldn't do that in the summer."

HUH?:confused:

:D :lol: :lol: :D

Its from the Cosby Show!

:D :lol: :lol: :D

we want jokes not stuff from the cosby show:p:rolleyes::p

but it was a joke Olivia told Dr. Huxtable..... so its a joke! :p

whatever:rolleyes:

quit stealing my thing!

whatever:rolleyes:

please stop stealing my thing

oh boo hoo,resa's gonna cry:lol::p

no i'm not!!!! :angryfire

want your bottle?:crybaby:

why are you teasing me? I was just asking politly to stop stealing my "whatever:rolleyes:" Thing! So please, stop teasing me!




EVERYTHING I KNOW IS A LIE!!!! :eek:

i didnt know that

:rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes:

KROGER!!!