Just say the first Wings one-liner that comes to your mind :D

"I wonder how long trout can live in trees."

"Well spread me on a cracker and put me on a tray! There's no way I'm doin' that!"

"Im starving! I've been having lots of sex."

"President Ford just hit Brian's mom in the head."

I touched every president since Since Eleanor Roosevelt when they visited Nantucket--------Fay Evelyn Schlob Dumbly DeVay Cochran

Once When I was out of underwear------ Lowell Mather

Wait a minute that isn't my brother after a fight with a guy in an airport runway in New Mexico -------- Carlton Blanchard

Joe, Joe, Joe, Joe, Joe-----Brian Hackett

Brian when are you ever going to grow up?---------Joe Hackett

Brain when are you going to take responsibilty?----------Joe Hackett

Can't have a party without the big sandwhich------Nantucket Gang

Blimp Killer------Lowell Mather

Dad no matter how many times I beat you at basketball nothing is going to change I am still gay-------R.J. Biggins

Is That a Ten-Foot Sandwich or Are You Just Glad to See Me?-------????????

Did I offend the delicate flower?-------Antonio Scarpacci

Do you mind I am eating over here-------Roy Biggins

Carbeque------Lowell Mather

Without a shadow of a doubt Tom Petty is the sexiest man alive-----Lowell Mather

My late Husband George, George, George, referring to all 3 of her ex-husbands-------Fay Evelyn Schlob Dumbly DeVay Cochran

That is too a lady piolt go over and ask her yourself when telling Helen he hired a female pilot when it was actually a man------Roy Biggins

The answer is Ann Margret to every trivia answer----Lowell Mather

"If 'ifs' and 'buts' were candy and nuts, we'd all have a wonderful Christmas."

"Everyone knows that squash is the smartest vegetable."

Fay (in the ep where Helen comes back from NY)

Love,

Wing<><

"One minute we're spanking each other with meat, and then the next, things just got weird."

"FAULKNER'S!"

"Plus, they let me take home all the hair I want!"

Oh, goody!! I have a few off the top of my head.

Fay--Look, I've got a human organ in my hands and I don't know what to do with it!

Roy--If it's green, it's trouble, if it's fried, get double.

Joe(to Brian)--No more sugar for you, mister.

Lowell--Antonio, caught you on the hopper, eh?

One of my favorites:

Brian - Joe, you're back!

Joe - Yes, I'm back from the hospital and my stupid back is fine!

-

Lowell - Dinner's still not ready.

Lowell - "I don't believe people with antlers have the right to criticise."

"Why Joe Hackett! Antonio's life is in the balance and all YOU care about is a dumb clock? If you weren't my boss, I'd slap you!" -Lowell

"If dogs sweat through their tongues, then what are their armpits for?!" --Carlton

Helen, in reference to leaving for New York:

"If I can make there, I can make it...well, you know."

Carlton--Maybe it was Las Cruces!!

"I'm gonna flick, all I wanna flick, until I've flicked, and feel like I'm done flicking." --Brian in 'Lifeboat'

Originally posted by phoebe7165
Carlton--Maybe it was Las Cruces!!

That was a good one when they flew him to see his brother in New Mexico. That old guy cracked me up on the show. Him with all his cats and pretending to be hurt and then almost dying but came back from almost dying.

Helen: "I'm a wacko. I'm unpredictable"

Brian--Um, I don't work here, and don't call me sweet cakes!

"Oh, forgive me! I just thought we could use a break from your 'All the good men are married or gay!' speech." -Antonio

"Talk to me, pizza man!!" --Antonio

That's a family tree you don't want to climb!

One of the Mustketeers has a great set of legs

Helen: "Do I look like a "Ma'am" to you?"

"We are going to walk over there, and if you know what's good for you, you'll be looking at our butts the whole time"

"Want to go to a matinee? I want to see that movie that everyone has been talking about." -Lowell

Joe:I jingle! Men shouldn't jingle!

Helen: "Do I look like a "Ma'am" to you?"

"We are going to walk over there, and if you know what's good for you, you'll be looking at our butts the whole time"
Hi,

Do you still remember what episode this is from?

Thanks a lot!

Antonio: "It's time to face the face."

Fay: "That man is nuttier than a squirrel's cheeks in October."

Joe: "I once shot a man in Reno, just to watch him die."

Roy: "Why is it whenever I'm around him I hear 'Dueling Banjos'?"

Antonio, I am dating the big faced girl and it is hard to look at her when I kiss her, shivers.

Lowell Mather: Tucker and I are going on a rat shoot tonight. I'd invite you along, but you know what they say about rat shoots: Two's company, three's cross-fire.

Lowell Mather If you'll all follow me, we'll have a look at the main terminal. Built in 1970, renovated 3 years ago. It was recently painted by the famous Nantucket painter, Bill the Painter Man.

Lowell Mather: It's hard to describe, but it made my eyelids flap like a windowshade.

Faye George, George, George, George.


Lowell Mather: I'm actually a lot like a camel. I can go for months without water.

Roy Biggins: You know what I do when I have a problem with a woman?

Joe Hackett: This is the dumbest thing Brian's ever done, and he once painted me blue.

Brian Hackett: This is the worst Christmas ever. I had thought it was the one when our parents bought us hamsters and forgot to poke holes in the boxes, but at least that had a moment of suspense.

Brian Hackett: "Merry Christmas, Brian! Merry Christmas, Brian!" Why does everyone keep saying that? It's only one day! God was born - move on!

Joe Hackett: Look at me, would I lie to you?

Joe Hackett: One minute we were smackin' each other with meat, then it got weird.

Brian Hackett: I saw this on the Twilight Zone one time, all we have to do, is stop time.

Roy Biggins: I was so good, I screamed out my own name!

Roy Biggins: Once you've been with Roy Biggins, you don't want another man!

Roy Biggins: Forget it. I'm not... , I'm not in the mood.

Joe: "I feel like Yoda."

Lowell: "Sounds like the man needs a wing."

Joe: "I call this one...'Dumped.'"

Antonio: "Get your hands off of me...or I'll use my pepper spray."

Roy: "What is this; a meeting of the mindless?"

Helen: "Do I look like a "Ma'am" to you?"

"We are going to walk over there, and if you know what's good for you, you'll be looking at our butts the whole time"

Hi,

Do you still remember what episode this is from?

Thanks a lot!

It's from "Hey, Nineteen".

Antonio: "Marrying a 'd. As far as I'm concerned she's dead to me."

Brian: "You can order women from catalogs?"

Roy: "Know what I call guys like that? 'Chicks'."

Roy Biggins: A party with out a big sandwich? it it it it its just not done.

Fay: (on telephone)"Uh, look, I've got a human organ in my hands and I don't know what to do with it!"

Lewis Blanchard: Ya know, I have a video camera that shoots in the dark

Roy Biggins: If you'll excuse me, I've got to get ready for the big night.
Alex: Oh, that's right, you're about to romance a woman. You'll want to shower, shave, buy chloroform...

Fay: (to Antonio)"You look like the tango instructor on a cruise ship."

Fay: "Try standing in heels all day."

Roy: "Communication's a dying art..."

Roy Biggins: I've never minded staying up all night because of a woman.

Joe: "This looks like Roy's Love Canal."

Roy: "That gearshift and I had a moment we'll never forget."

Brian: Just my luck it's you.

Roy: "People bet on everything on this island."

Lowell Mather: Excuse me um almost sounded like you said there'd be no big sandwich.

Brian: "Joe, for three hundred dollars, she's anybody's Deidre."

Helen: Roy's son R.J. said he wanted to learn the cello. Fat chance in Roy approving that!

Antonio: "I'm too stupid to kill. I'd be a waste of a bullet!"

Helen: It's "Michael, row the boat ashore".

Norm: (to Cliff)"That's one gene pool you don't want to take a dip in."

Joe: How could you hate s'mores?

Joe: (to Antonio)"Five bucks on Morticia. She's scrawny but she's quick."

Roy: Helen, R.J. told me he wanted to take cello lessons.

Brian: "That's one family tree you don't want to climb."

Antonio: "That's what the guy at the gun shop said."

Helen: [to Joe] Don't pucker up like Dudley-Do-Right, just relax your lips.

Brian: "Of all the days to overmousse..."

Brian: "I think you're taking this whole safe sex thing just a little too seriously."

Helen: "It's a sad day in this country when a man with one simple little eccentricity is made out to be the village idiot."

Fay: "Ask Captain Cholesterol."

Brian: "They closed the Pizza Hut!"

Brian: "What do you expect? Life goes on!"

Joe Hackett: What have we got that's worth fifteen thousand dollars?
Brian Hackett: You are sitting on it.
Joe Hackett: I am NOT going in that line of work.
Brian Hackett: I'm talking about taking out a mortgage on the house, and DON'T flatter yourself.

Brian: "He's kind of a mechanic savant."

Brian: "They named a drink after me."

Joe: "My money's on Satan."

Helen: "Because flying a plane is... orgasmic."

[hitting on Helen at the lunch counter]
Lewis Blanchard: Ya know, I have a video camera that shoots in the dark.
Helen: Yeah, I got a gun that does the same thing.

Lowell: "That's not his arm, Joe."

Roy Biggins: I was so good, I screamed out my own name!

Brian: "This from a man who rents his relationships from a video store."

Helen: "I'd go into more depth, but, there is none."

Brian Hackett: I saw this on the Twilight Zone one time, all we have to do, is stop time.

Lowell: "I may be a humble mechanic, but I know my music theater."

Fay: "It's a pity more people don't take the time to write."

Mark the Waiter: I'm Mark... your waiter... from the Crab House... I served you... craaaaaaabs.

Danny Quinn: "Interesting local talent."

Roy: "Another satisfied customer, huh, Hackett?"

Lowell: "Hammer works, helmet sucks."

Fay: "...last of the lukewarm lovers."

Roy: "Yeah. Somebody fun lifted Joe's wallet."

Fay: "...he had mighty big shoes to fill."

Casey: "So much for having an orgasm that year."

Casey: "My life is one nightmare after another."

Fay: I just talked to the man upstairs.
Lowell: You just talked to the man upstairs?
Fay: Yes. Frank.
Lowell: God's name is Frank?
Fay: No--yes, that's right, Lowell.

Brian: "Yeah. We need a cash pumper."

Roy: "See, Cochran, the rich are different."

Joe: If ifs and buts were candy and nuts, we'd all have a wonderful Christmas.

Helen: "I don't date pilots."

Helen: "Baseball fever. Catch it."

Antonio: [after Joe's Anxiety attack, Antonio walks in Joe's office to make sure he's alright. He finds him holding a squeezable doll in his hand] What's with the Dolly?
Joe Hackett: The Doctor gave it to me. I'm supposed to squeeze "Mr. Googi" whenever I feel I might pinch over again.
Antonio: So there's nothing physically wrong with you

Fay: "I just needed closure."

Helen: Oh Lowell, please tell me your brother didn't marry his sister.

Don Hackett's Ghost: "Just because I'm dead, it doesn't mean I don't have opinions."

Brian: You look a little tired.

Antonio: (to Fay)"You are one buggy broad."

Helen: "I never tweeze."

Joe: "I gave him that nickname."

Joe: "At the Hoover Dam we smoked a doobie and couldn't feel our legs."

Helen: I had my first kiss on Kingsbury Point.

Fay: "There are honest people left in the world."

Lowell Mather: I've had this nagging feeling all day that I'm forgetting something.
Roy Biggins: My guess is you get that feeling a lot.