Quotes

[MISST3]

FRED:"Say, Ward, Gwen and I have been meaning to get together with you
folks. How would a picnic this weekend, up at Friend's Lake, strike
you and the little bride."
WARD:"Oh, sounds great!"
FRED:"We asked the Anderson's, he's president of the Trust company, but
they had some people come in from, out of town unexpectedly. So
we thought you could fill in, and the weekend wouldn't be a total
loss!"

[MISST3]

Eddie: "Good Evening, Mrs. Cleaver."
June: "My, you look nice!"
Eddie: "Thank you, Mrs. Cleaver. Wally and I are escorting two young ladies
to the movies, this evening."
June: "Oh, who are you taking?"
Eddie: "Wally hasn't told me yet!"

[AB]

An Eddie quote/line:

[MISST3]

In "Last Day of School", the store gets June's gift for Miss Landers switched.
Wally: "Boy, Beaver it's a slip!"
Beaver:"That's some kind of ladies underwear, isn't it ?"
Wally: "Sure, it's some kind of ladies underwear!"
Beaver:"Gee, Wally, I can't give Miss Landers underwear, in front of the
whole class!"
Wally: "Well, maybe you could, you're just a little kid."
Beaver:"Yeah . . . but I'm not that little of a kid!"

[MISST3]

June:"Oh, Ward, I'm glad you're home. Did you see Beaver down the street
anywhere?"
Ward:"No, why?"
June: "Well, he was here, then, about 2 hours ago, he disappeared, and I'm
worried about him."
Wally:"Gee, Mom he's not in the attic, and he's not in the cellar, I don't think
he'd run away this close to his birthday, though!"

[MISST3]

Eddie:"This is the last afternoon, you will be seeing me around, Mrs. Cleaver"
June: "Really, Eddie?"
Eddie:"Yes, I'm getting a job, after school and on weekends, I've convinced my father, that it's the best thing to do, if I'm going to look forward to a
business career."
June:"Yes, well, Wally might like a job, but, of course, he has track practice,
every afternoon!"
Eddie:"Well, yes, but perhaps, I'm making the right decision, Mrs. Cleaver,
after all, I've heard of very few men, who have become millionaires running
the 220!"

[AB]

Beaver: "Hey Wally, goofy Lumpy is here."
Lumpy: "Look kid, to you the name is Clarence."
Beaver: "Hey Wally, goofy Clarence is here."

[MISST3]

Eddie:"Good evening, Mrs. Cleaver, I hope I'm not interrupting your dinner."
June: "No, no, we're all through, Mr Cleaver and I just finished the dishes!"
Eddie:"Oh, I guess that's the advantage of not having a maid. You're not at
mercy of the help, like my mother is!"
June: "You mean your mother has a maid now?"
Eddie:"Well, she's really an exchange student, working her way through
school. But, my mother persuaded her to wear a uniform!"

[MISST3]

Ward:"Beaver, Wally doesn't have to do everything Eddie and Tooey do!
If they jumped off a roof, you wouldn't expect him to, would you?"
Beaver:"How high a roof, Dad?"

[MISST3]

Beaver:"Tomorrow, we're having a pet fair, and today, we gotta tell what
pets, we're bringing in tomorrow."
Ward: "Well, Beaver, the reason you don't have a pet is because you didn't
take care of your rabbit, and you didn't take care of your pigeons!"
Wally: "Yeah, you even goofed up your goldfish!"
June: "Beaver, there will be lots of children in your class that won't have
pets."
Beaver"Yeah, Mom, all the creeps!"

[MISST3]

Gilbert:"Beaver, you've got bugs!"
Beaver:"No, I don't, I took a bath last night!"
Gilbert:"I mean on your bushes!"
Beaver:"Oh yeah, a guy came around on a truck, and was going to croak'em
but he wanted too much money, so my Dad's going to croak'em
himself!"

[AB]

A Ward Cleaver quote:

[MISST3]

The most Interesting Character I Have Ever Known - by Theodore Cleaver
The most Interesting Character I have ever known is my father, Mr. Ward
Cleaver. My father was born right here in this town, and still lives in it.
He has a very interesting job. He goes to the office everyday, except Satur-
day and Sunday, and Christmas and ThanksGiving and all the other
holidays! He is also married to my mother, and has two sons, me and
Wally. The interesting things, he did today was put up screens, he also
took the car to get a new fan belt, which was loose. He can fix things and
take a pill without water!


#1

[MISST3]

The Most Interesting Character I Have Ever Known (Wally's spiced version)
The most interesting character I ever knew was my father, Mr. Ward
Cleaver. He was born at the mouth of the Amazon, which is a river,
and when he was a baby, he was stolen out of his crib by a crocodile.
In the knick of time he was saved by a friendly headhunter, with a
blowgun! During the war, he was a secret general, where he had many
interesting experiences! Now, he has a job in an office, but he really works
for the FBI. On Sundays, he goes to the beach, and saves a lot of people
from drowning!


#2

[MISST3]

Final Version: by Theodore Cleaver
The most interesting character I have ever known, is my father, Mr. Ward
Cleaver. He does not have an interesting job. He just works hard and takes care of all of us. He never shot things, in Africa, or not saved anybody that
was drowning, but, that's all right with me. Because, when I am sick, he
brings me ice cream, and, when I tell him things or ask things, he always
listens to me! And, he would use up a whole Saturday, to make junk with
me in the garage! He may not be interesting to you or someone else,
because he's not your father. Just mine!