Top 5 Dumbest Full House Moments

[mets82]

The 2 that jump out at me is the one with Jesse getting stuck in a subway. I mean I remember thinking how contrived it was that all of a sudden they take a subway when in fact, I dont think anyone has ever talked about liking a subway before.

And +1000 to Jesse and his Christmas speech. I just remember thinking that his heart is in the right place but being stuck in an airport are not going to make people happy, period.

[arsensson84]

Originally Posted by wiseguy182
I agree. Danny was a HORRIBLE parent. Remember when he got all butt-hurt because he overheard everyone rightfully talking about how crazy-obsessed he was with cleaning? Then he decided to ride a donkey in the desert. What a tool.

It looks to me that Danny is full of contradictions sometimes....

[HauntedThunderman94]

Jesse and Becky living in that small attic with the twins was beyond stupid. They should have been living in their own house. Ridiculous.

[Furienna]

It was the show's way of keeping them conveniently close to the Tanners. But no, it was not realistic. But I do like that they had Jesse object to it and calling it crazy, so there was some realism in it.

[mets82]

I didnt mind that because Jesse wanted to be close to Michelle and vice versa.

[Blackout]

Originally Posted by HauntedThunderman94

Jesse and Becky living in that small attic with the twins was beyond stupid. They should have been living in their own house. Ridiculous.

how's Jesse going to afford his own house for them?

[Furienna]

Well, didn't they also have Becky's salary?

[MrCleveland]

10) The Endless Dream Sequence (Season 1, Episode 19, “The Seven-Month Itch: Part 1″)

At the end of the first Season, Jesse gets fed up with all of the responsibilities that come with living in his brother-in-law’s house rent free and runs away, creating a cliff-hanger for the series’ first 2-part episode. The catalyst for his departure is an incredibly drawn-out dream sequence that exemplifies all of his anxieties about everyone getting all up in his face and asking him for stuff all the time. It goes on longer than you can even imagine, with almost no progression, just an endless rotation of all of the characters uttering phrases into a fisheye lens. This is the first example of a common tactic that the show would employ for the first several Seasons, where an episode’s story would be light so there would be some extraneous dream sequence to pad it out. What made it more of a landmark for me, though, is that this was the first time during my run of watching the series where I can distinctly remember feeling like I was actually going crazy.

I like that ep, especially when there's two Michelles! I feel sometimes for Jesse now since he felt that he was getting taken advantage of! The fish-eye thing was TOO extreme, I agree.

9) The Forever Music Video (Season 5, Episode 26, “Captain Video: Part 2″)

Season 5 ends with Jesse making a terrible music video out of his ****ty cover of a mediocre Beach Boys song. As far as mid-90′s music videos go, it’s maybe not all that bad (it features many odd conventions of the time, like rooms filled with candles and a location that looks like an old church in the desert) except for the fact that his babies are prominently displayed throughout it in what is debatably a sexually fetishistic way. It’s also always hard to deal with something on this show when it’s supposed to be understood that it’s a quality presentation. I’m pretty sure that we’re supposed to think that this is a good video although nothing that’s contained within it persuades us towards that perspective. Regardless, it’s easily one of the most iconic terrible moments in the entire series.

That...and in the vid Uncle Jesse gave some eye-candy with being shirtless in bed. That and when Jesse held one of his twins that was nude! (I'd be nervous that the baby would pee on me)!

8 ) Michelle Selects a Cardboard Cut-Out As a Reward (Season 7, Episode 16, “Joey’s Funny Valentine”)

This moment is so terrible and frustrating that it actually stands out as the worst part of an episode that’s all about Joey having a girlfriend. A parrot flies into the full house and the kids recognize that it belongs to a guy who owns an electronics store. When the parrot is returned, the owner decides to reward them by letting them pick any item from the store. Throughout the rest of the episode, DJ and Stephanie argue over which appliance they should get until Danny finally leaves the decision up to Michelle. Rather than picking between her sisters’ choices, she straight up chooses a cardboard cut-out of the shop’s owner, which is clearly the most worthless and impractical thing that could possibly have been inside that whole place. This is one of those extreme cases of Michelle being shown completely over-the-top favoritism in the full house and getting what she wants at the cost of every other character. When I think of all the things she did that made me want to beat her to death, this moment definitely stands out.

That cut-out is probably cheap...so cheap that the Tanners could get a Big-Screen TV...and yes...some Big Screens can contain a Karaoke Machine too!

7) Stephanie Goes to Therapy, is Cured of Her Neurosis in Minutes (Season 3, Episode 11, “Aftershocks”)

Stephanie gets all clingy and weird towards Danny so he decides to take her ass to a shrink. The therapist has her draw a picture and, as Stephanie describes the image, it becomes clear that the source of her behavior is anxiety that came from not knowing where Danny was during the San Francisco earthquake. Once that’s discovered, the problem is solved. It takes less than 3 minutes. Not only is this quick-fix narrative a slap in the face to therapy as a profession and practice, it’s also a big **** you to anyone who endured any lasting traumatic stress after that earthquake. What makes it most egregious, though, is the fact that they finally got one of these *******s into a therapist’s office and neglected to deal with any of the real issues. Why wasn’t her overwhelming sense of entitlement ever looked into, or her total disregard for other people? All of these people need therapy so bad!

I don't know if I saw this ep...I may sometime soon.

6) Michelle Forces Becky and Jesse to Stay in the Full House (Season 4, Episode 20, “Fuller House”

After Becky and Jesse get married, it makes perfect sense that he’d start mooching off of her instead of Danny, so he moves into her place. It really wouldn’t hurt the series at all to have them live in their own house nearby but I guess the producers thought that it was really important for everyone to be crammed into this one house forever so Michelle gets all sad and cries when Jesse packs up his ****. Jesse is so distressed by this that he is unable to enjoy his new life in his nice new house with his super hot, smart wife with an amazing career so he forces her to move into the attic with him, effectively ruining her future forever. But, hey, at least Michelle’s happy!

Jesse could just move down the street, San Francisco isn't that big...it isn't Manhattan! Michelle can be happy rather than such a bitch there...problem solved!

5) Joey Doesn’t Quit Comedy (Season 3, Episode 6, “Star Search”)

Joey finally realizes that he’s a no-talent waste of human life but he tries to prove to himself otherwise by going on Star Search, a haven for such people. In one of the series’ rare moments of at least partial self-awareness, Joey loses because he sucks and for one brief, shining moment, it seems like he’ll finally do the world a big favor and kill himself, or at least quit doing all those terrible impressions all the ****ing time. But no, he decides that he can’t be dissuaded and continues to be an annoying pain in the ass with the support of his ****ty family. This episode is the greatest argument against a person following their dreams that I have ever seen.

Joey is okay with his voices, but I see David Coulier as a poor man's Robin Williams!

4) Jesse Serenades Michelle (Season 2, Episode 16, “Baby Love”)

Michelle develops an unhealthy attachment to another baby who comes and visits the full house and then she lapses into a deep depression after he leaves. Jesse tries to lift her spirits by singing her an awful song that he’s written about her. It’s uncomfortable to watch for so many reasons, and the worst part is that it doesn’t even do any good, so we have to sit through that **** for no reason.

I haven't seen this ep much either...now when "Crimes and Michelle's Demeanor" came up...then that's a different story!

3) Jesse’s Christmas Speech (Season 2, Episode 9, “Our Very First Christmas Show”)

The family gets trapped in an airport during Christmas and everyone’s morale is quite low until Jesse decides to get up in front of everyone, including all the other unfortunate passengers who are stuck there with them, and delivers the most contrived “inspiring” speech of all time about the meaning of Christmas or some such bull****. This was the first of many times where I couldn’t believe that no one from the full house was assaulted for being such a public nuisance. He actually forces everyone to sing Christmas carols with him, as if being trapped in the airport didn’t suck hard enough already. This is one of those interesting moments that would have actually had the opposite effect in reality than what is conveyed onscreen. For any person that was trapped in that airport, Jesse’s speech had to have been the worst part of the whole experience.

I disagree...I like Jesse's monologue. Especially the coat rack thing!

2) The Death of Papouli (Season 7, Episode 17, “The Last Dance”)

This one’s tricky because it’s actually one of the few enjoyable episodes, but for all the wrong reasons. Jesse’s elderly grandfather comes to visit from the old country and, after bestowing his magical, old-world wisdom unto everyone, dies abruptly in his sleep. The last half of the episode consists of the entire cast sitting around sobbing and delivering incredibly melodramatic speeches and it’s ****ing hilarious. Although I enjoyed this episode the most out of the entire series, I had to include it here because it had the opposite of its intended effect. This was easily the most emotionally manipulative thing I’ve ever seen in my entire life, and the greatest failure of all the series’ very special moments.

Only problem I have with this ep is...Michelle does the Greek dance.

1) Michelle and Her Classmates Sing Twist ‘n’ Shout (Season 4, Episode 25, “The Graduates”)

Although there are certainly more contrived or offensive moments during the series, this is definitely the hardest one to sit through, ever. When Michelle and her little friends graduate from Preschool, Jesse has them put on a little performance of Twist ‘n’ Shout that I can only assume is supposed to be cute but, holy ****, it’s just a horrible mess! This is the most extreme example of the show not even qualifying as an amateur-quality production. I cannot believe that this was on tv at all, and knowing that it was part of a successful series and that people got paid really well for it is just a ****ing travesty. This is the ultimate pull-your-hair-out infuriating moment of the entire series, and, in case you didn’t notice, that’s saying a lot!

UGH! I just saw it and I think that's the future cast of "Glee"!

Now to get that taste out of my eyes...here's Ferris Bueller performing "Twist and Shout"!...

[mets82]

Mr. Cleveland, who did you quote with the 10 episodes of Full House because that person is right on. I will say #2 when Jesse's Grandfather died was sad enough that I dont watch it.

I disagree with you about Jesse's speech in the airport. If you hadnt slept, eaten and quite aggravated as it is, would you want some good looking guy forcing Christmas down your throat? I wouldnt.


Also, the episode where Jesse rides the Subway and gets stuck has to be included. All of a sudden SF has subways and of course Jesse rides one and of course it gets stuck. It just seemed that him riding the subway was just a forced and contrived plot.

[MrCleveland]

Originally Posted by mets82

Mr. Cleveland, who did you quote with the 10 episodes of Full House because that person is right on. I will say #2 when Jesse's Grandfather died was sad enough that I dont watch it.

I disagree with you about Jesse's speech in the airport. If you hadnt slept, eaten and quite aggravated as it is, would you want some good looking guy forcing Christmas down your throat? I wouldnt.


Also, the episode where Jesse rides the Subway and gets stuck has to be included. All of a sudden SF has subways and of course Jesse rides one and of course it gets stuck. It just seemed that him riding the subway was just a forced and contrived plot.

TMC posted that quote from www.fullhousereviewed.com earlier. I just divided it and shared my opinions.

[JO Sweet Heart]

I love what Jesse had to say when the family was stuck in the airport during that one Christmas. He was like, "The first Christmas was in a manger and they did okay!" I want to hug him when he says that!

God bless you always!!!

Holly