Okay, here goes....

[dovesong]

You're not just being nice are you? You really like it?

Well, as I stated earlier, I have no life so here goes........

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Captain: I think we need to go and let Jinny get ready for tomorrow.

(Everyone agrees and gathers their theings. Jinny walks them all to the door, quietly she bids them all goodbye. Magda stays behind once the others are gone. Jinny walks her to the door.)

Jinny: So, what are you going to tell Benny about my being gone? I mean, does he miss me?

Magda: He's asked about you. (pause) I told him you weren't well and that you had to go see some doctors. he said to tell you good luck, he'd miss you, Jin.

Magda: I'm happy for you and Teddy, Jin. You did tell him yes, right?

Jinny: (thoughtfully) I don't get it, Mag. I can hold him and feel clower to him, than I've ever felt with all the guys I just slept with. I don't understand.

Magda: (smiling) You're in love, Jinny. Don't let him slip away. Hold onto him, Jin.

Jinny: Then why do I have trouble saying that one little simple work? I said it to all those other guys, and it didn't hurt a bit, until just now.

Magda: Because this time it's for real, Jin. This time, it means something. This time it might cost you something you weren't willing to give to all those other guys. You heart, Jin. (on her way out the door, she kisses Jinny on the cheek) Think about it, Jin.

******OK, I'M'A SAP!!!!******

(Jinny nods and closes the door behind her. She stands agaisnt the door for a time, and Teddy comes looking for her.)

Teddy: Well? How'd things go?

Jinny: It was a disaster.

Teddy: (making a statement) It went well then. (Jinny laughed) Let's go to bed, Jinny. You've got a long day tomorrow. You'll need all the sleep you can get.

(Jinny nods and follows Teddy into the bedroom. They dress quietly, their backs to each other. Jinny slips a shirt over her head and turns to look at Teddy, briefly. She's thinking about how great he is.)

(Jinny sits on the bed and waits until she feels Teddy do the same. She turns and slide under the covers meeting him half way. They curl up and talk for a while, but Jinny falls asleep in his arms and he is soon sleeping soundly as well.)

(They are awakened by the phone the next morning. Tedy climbs over Jinny to answer it, waking her. He rests straddling her, smiling. She returns his smile and as he talks on the phone, her hand glides up and down his leg.)

Teddy: Hello? (pause) Jinny? Yeah. Who is this? (pause) Okay. Hold on. (hands the phone to Jinny) Ms. Fogelson.

Jinny: (stares at him blankly) Who? What time is it?

Teddy: From the Rehab place, and it's (looking at the clock) 5:30.

Jinny: (taking the phone, but not answering it immediately) What? These people don't think we sleep? (holding the phone to her ear) Hello? (pause) Now? It's 5:30 in the morning. (pause) yeah, right. Of course. I'll pack. 2nd floor, 220. Just knock.

(Jinny doesn't give her time to reply. She hangs up the phone and lays back. Teddy is still on top of her. She looks at him and he smiles.)

Teddy: (sarcastically) No rest for the wicked.

Jinny: (laughs; sits up and kisses Teddy) I need up. She'll be here in 30 and I hae to to shower and pack by then.

Teddy: (nods) I should probably shower with you so that you don't take this opportunity to skip out.

Jinny: I won't be climbing out any windows naked, number one; and number two, if you shower with me, I won't be nearly ready on time. (Teddy gets up, after a quick kiss, Jinny heads to the bathroom ranting like a school girl) I have to do my hair, and my nails, and my...(door slams)

Teddy: (laughs)

(There is a knock on the door and Teddy answers it. There is Ms. Fogelson, smiling.)

Fogelson: Yes, Hi. I'm looking for Jinny Exstead. She said this was her apartment, I think.

Teddy: Yes, I'm Teddy. Come on in. have a seat (motioning toward the couch) I'll tell Jin you're here.

(Ms. Fogelson nods but remains standing as Teddy goes to retrieve Jinny from the bedroom.)

Teddy: Hey, you ready? (slips his arms around her from behind and kisses her neck)

Jinny: (one last look in the mirror) Yeah.

(Jinny walks through to the living room and stops in from of the woman she met the night before last. The woman nods approvingly and smiles. She reaches out to take Jinny's bag, but Jinny grips it tighter. The woman motions Jinny toward the door.)

Foglelson: (quietly) Shall we?

(Jinny takes one last look at the apartment and then at Teddy. He comes to her and kisses her. It was meant to be a short, gentle kiss, but Jinny drops he bag and grabs him with both arms. There is an urgency in her kiss. This is the last time she will see himfor weeks and she desperately want to remember what this is like. They part and stare at each other. Jinny picks up her back and leaves.)

Teddy: I'll let myself out. I love you, Jin. (Jinny doesn't look back.)

Jinny follows Fogelson to the rear of the car and again shuns her offer of help and places her suitcase in the trunk. She then gets in the passenger seat and buckles up. Fogleson gets in and starts the car. They pull out on the road.)

Jinny: Tell me again why I can't drive myself.

Fogelson: Jinn, I'll answer that, but let's talk first. We didn't hit it off well the other day. Can I expect that you're going to be honest and forthcoming with us?

Jinny: (sits quietly staring out the window)

Fogelson: I guess I could make the first gesture. (pauses) We don't get you drive yourself because it makes it too easy for you to walk out; to give up. We want success, Jinny. Who doesn't? Yes, it makes us look good, sure. But you success is key. Our success or failure is marked as a number on a chart. Your success or failure is marked your life, for the rest of your life. I won't promise that you won't feel like a failure at times to begin with, but each small success will build your self-confidence, (pause) and your self-respect. But it all boils down to this: we can't help you, Jinny, if you don't help yourself a little.

Jinny: (still silent, listening)

(They drive the majority of the way in silence. They eventually pull up to the gates of the facility. A guard checks Fogelson's ID and opens the gate for them. They pull around to the fron of a building. Fogelson gets out of the car. Jinny still sits, staring at everything,wondering what she'd gotten herself into. The door is opened from the outside by a man dressed in scrubs.)

Man: Mrs. Exstead? Tom Lathen. We're ready anytime you are. (extends a hand to her)

Jinny: (refuses his offer of assistance and gets out of the car) It's Miss, and I don't need your help.

(The man nods and Jinny follows Fogelson up the front steps and into the building. Fogelson hands Jinny's luggage to another man and then proceeds in the opposite direction. Jinny is unsure of which to follow.)

Fogelson: Follow me, Jinny

Jinny: (follows hesistantly) Those are my things. Where are they taking them?

Fogelson: First they'll search it and then they'll take it to your room.

Jinny: Search it? What for?

Fogelson: Drugs. Alcohol.

Jinny: What? You don't trust me?

Fogelson: (stops and turns, Jinny almost runs into her) Would you trust you, Jinny.

Jinny: (thinks) Probably not..........

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Okay chickadees, that's the latest installment. You like? Continue? Yes? No?

[Divisionbabe05]

this is soooooooo great girl....keep it comin!

[AllIWantIsYourClutch]

Originally posted by dovesong
You're not just being nice are you? You really like it?

Are you kidding?! These people like MY fic for God's sake!! And yours is like 10000000000000000000000x better!!!!!


Anyway....... MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[dovesong]

Thanks NancyRulz, I've read some of yours, I just never post replies. They're really great. Everybody's are. I'm just trying to catch up on everything. Like I said, I've only seen about haf the first season (depressing isn't it?) and I just found this site a few days ago, but I LIKE IT!!!!!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Fogelson: Would you trust you, Jinny?

Jinny: (thinks) Probably not. But it's clean. I'm clean.

Fogelson: (continuing on) That's what we're going to find out next.

Jinny: What?

(Fogelson opens a door and beckons Jinny to follow her inside. Jinny is hesitant, but follows her. Inside is a doctor's exam room. Fogelson motions for Jinny to sit on the the exam table. Jinny, instead, sits in a chair by the small desk in the room.)

Fogelson: We won't be seeing anymore of each other. I go back to living my life on the outside now. If you need someone to talk to when you get out, please feel free to call me. Officer Ramirez still has my number. Good luck, JInny. You have a lot of people pulling ro you. More than I had. (she turns and leaves)

(Jinny gets up and wanders around the room, looking in cabinets and at other things. There is a knock on the door and it opens. a man sticks his head in the door.)

Man: Um...(looks at the paper in his hand) Jinny....(unsure of himself)

Jinny: It's Exstead. Yeah.

Man: Right. I'm from the lab. I need to draw some blood. (comes in, sets down his supplies)

Jinny: (takes off her jacket, pulls up her sleeve) So what are you drawing blood for?

Man: You really want to know? (he inserts the needle in her vein and looks up)

Jinny: (winces) Yeah.

Man: For drug and alcohol screenings and for basic health screenings, too. We want to make sure you're healthy. (pause) There. Done. Hold pressure here, don't bend your arm, it'll bruise worse. There will be a doctor in shortly. Good luck.

(Jinny gets back up and paces the floor. A knock at the startles her. She turns to find the same gentleman standing before her now as offered her his hand at the car. He motions for her to be seated. She sits as does he.)

Man: (read off paper) MISS (emphasized) Jinny Exstead. I'll introduce myself again. I'm Dr. Tom Lathen. You can call me Dr. Lathen. I need to ask you some questions about yourself. We need to review yours and your immediate families health history, things like that. Do you have any questions before we get started?

Jinny: (shaking her head no) I don't have anything on your list. My dad's an alcoholic, my brother's gay, (sarcastically) if that would be on your list, and by the way and are single?

Lathen: (raises an eyebrow) Married. Happily, thanks. (as an afterthough) To a woman. (smiles) How about your mother? Anything?

Jinny: I don't know. (sarcastically) We could ask her, of course. But she blew her brains out when I was a kid.

Lathen: (winces at the thought) I'm sorry. Do you, um, want to talk about that?

Jinny: (harshly) No.

Lathen: Okay. (changing the subject) So, you're a cop?

Jinny: Was. Was a cop.

Lathen: Was? It was my understanding that you would return to work upon your departure from here.

Jinny: Yeah, that's what they say.

Lathen: So, you're not going back?

Junny: (shrugs)

Lathen: (curiously) You ever been shot?

Jinny: Shot at plenty of times.

Lathen: And you enjoy that?

Jinny: (nods) Enough

Lathen: Enough to give up drinking?

Jinny: (eying him suspiciously) Just what kind of a doctor are you?

Lathen: Psycologist.

Jinny: Figures. (changing the subject) Look, I'm not like those other drunks, okay.

Lathen: Only because you've probably busted half of them for some offense relating to drugs or alcohol. It's not going to be easy for you here, Jinny. You look at these people here Jinny, and you can think you're not like them all you want, but you have to face reality sometime or your time here is nothing but a waste. You're not a DRUNK. You are a person, just like everybody else out there. You are a person with a debilitating disease. A disease that is going to kill YOU just like it will them: in an auto accident, in an overdose, in a drunken shoot out, or from health problems relating to the disease. Alcoholism is just like any other disease out there, Jinny. It kills people just like AIDS or...

Jinny: Let's not there, okay, doc....

Lathen: It's the same thing, Jinny.. Nobody wants to wake up one morning and find out they have AIDS, people die from it. Nobody wants to wake up one morning and discover they're an alcoholic, either. People die from it, too. Unfortunately, it may not be you, but someone else at your hands. You're a cop, Jinny. I shouldn't have to tell you how many people are killed each year from DUI's where the drunk walks away, sometimes, completely unscathed. Do you want that on your hands?

Jinny: (silent, unsure of what to say)

Lathen: Come on. I'll show you to your room.

(Jinny follows dr. Lathen out the door up a couple flights of stairs and down a long hallway. They pass a few people all staring at Jinny. Jinny feels violated just from their stares. She draw her leather jacket around her tightly. Dr. Lathen stops in front of a door. He opens it and allows Jinny to proceed him inside.)

Lathen: It isn't the Hylton, but...

(Jinny stops just insode the door. She sees her suitcase laying on one of the beds. She's thankful there is no one else in the room at the moment. She doesn't look forward to spending the next few weeks with a complete stranger.)

Lathen: You're roommate is in the kitchen helping prepare supper. I thought you could use some time alone.

Jinny: Thank God.

Lathen: Make yourself at home. Dinner is served at 5:00 sharp. I'll as Miranda, your roommate, to show you where the dining room is. After today, you'll be expected to help out. you won't have much free time. It'll help keep your mind off of other things. (changing the subject) You do have to submit to weekly drug tests. It goes by your admission date, so your week will be up on Tuesdays. Don't miss them. You'll also see a phschologist on Tuesdays and Thursdays, and Saturday nights are our group meetings. You'll be expected to atten them all. After two weeks, if we've had no trouble out of you, you'll be allowed visitors on Sundays. I'll leave you alone now for a while. (turns and leaves)

(Jinny has been sitting on her bed for several hours, lost in thought. suddenly the door opens and someone bursts into the room.. THis startles Jinny and she immediately reaches for her gun. She realizes the instinctive move and it embarrasses her some. She stares at the girl who can't be much more than 19.)

Jinny: You must be Miranda.

Miranda: Yeah. (she extends a hand to Jinny)

Jinny: (shaking her head) Don't ever do that again. (turns to pick up her jacket) I take it dinner's ready.

Miranda: Yeah, Dr. Lathen asked me to come get you.

Jinny: Let's go.

(Miranda babbles all the way to the dining hall. Jinny has already decided she doesn't like the thought of being roommates with her.)

(Dinner passes without much affiar. There is a lot of conversation, but after the initial introductions, little of it is directed toward Jinny. what little of it is, Jinny shuns with sarcasm. Back in the room, later that night, Jinny is finally unpacking her suitcase. Miranda is watching Jinny over the book she is 'reading.')

Miranda: (finally breaking the silence) How old are you?

Jinny: Old enough.

Miranda: Why are you here?

Jinny: Why are you here?

Miranda: My parents caught me smoking some week with my boyfriend and freaked-out.

Jinny: (scowls and turns back to unpacking)

Miranda: A hint. When you see the quacks, just admit to what they want to hear, and say a bunch of crap like you're really sorry and crap. You'll get out a lot faster.

Jinny: (turns back arouund to Miranda, scowl still in place) Is that a good book?

Miranda: Yeah, it about...

Jinny: Try reading it. (turns back around) And don't think you're staying up late, cause you're not.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Well, I'm off to watch the Nancy marathon on Lifetime....

Let me know what you think, and I'll write more if you still want me to.

[Divisionbabe05]

This is AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I need MORE!

[dovesong]

Nancy is such a great actress. I just finished watching the Nancy marathon on Lifetime. I see now why they used to call her faucet face.

Anyways, here's more of my story....
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

(The next day goes fairly well, Jinny is enlisted to cook and wash dishes for two of the three meals, otherwise her day is free. She is informed that her first meeting will be the following day at 9:00 am and is shown by Dr. Lathen where it will be held.)

(Jinny shows up the next morning at 9:15 to find the doctor waiting for her outside.)

Woman: Jinny Exstead?

Jinny: Yeah. (sarcastically) Sorry I'm late.

Woman: I'm Dr. Milton. (opens the door) Come inside please.

(Dr. Milton takes a seat behind the desk and indicates that Jinny is to sit opposite her.)

Jinny: What? No couch?

Milton: (ignores previous statement) Before we begin, Jinny, I'd like you to know that your conversations with me will be recorded. This is not for the later enjoyment of your peers or any other part here at Kings Point, but for the benefit of myself, and any other physicians or psychologists that may be called in to offer opinion. You don't get to object to this, I just wanted you to be aware that this is how we operate. These tapes are strictly confidential.

(With this, Dr. Milton sets a tape recorder on the desk and turns it on.)

Milton: (to tape recorder) New patient. Virginia Exstead, Jinny; 32; female; Dr. Laten. Inspector with a local police detatchment. Now.....

Milton: Why are you here, Jinny?

Jinny: (laughs) You don't know?

Milton: What I want to know is, do you know?

Jinny: Yes.

Milton: I'd like to hear you say it.

Jinny: My friends think I drink too much.

Milton: Do you?

Jinny: (doesn't answer immediately) Maybe.

Milton: Maybe? It's a simple question. Do you drink in excess?

Jinny: Yes. I guess I do.

Milton: Did that hurt?

Jinny: Depends.

Milton: Anything other than your pride?

Jinny: (smiles, looks down, avoiding Dr. Milton's eyes)

Milton: Didn't think so. I spoke to Sandra Fogelson, the lady that did your intervention. SHe filled me in on a little of your history. (reads from chart) Your mother's death. History of alcoholism in the family. Underage drinking. Most recently, your suspension for appearing at a crime scene intoxicated. Um, how do I say this? You don't have the healthiest of personal lives...

Jinny: What? You talking about my sex life or my eating habits?

Milton: What do you think?

Jinny: Since when does my sex life have to be a part of this?

Milton: It's destructive.

Jinny: Meaning?

Milton: You have had sex wiht people you don't ever know. Numerous people. You don't bother to learn their names, do you ask about sexually transmitted diseases?

Jinny: (struggles to stay calm, trying to say something) God! You people! You know, I actually agreed to this. Like the intervention wasn't insult enough I have to come here and listen to you down me? This is supposed to theraputic? THis is supposed to help me how? I don't get it. I mean...

Milton: Jinny, I'm not here to put you down. Your attitude is completely unnecessary....

Jinny: Oh. My attitude? What's wrong with my attitude?

Milton: (stares quietly, giving both an opportunity to calm down) Jinny, it's understandable that you feel you have to defend yourself. Your actions. But you've come here because, whether you want to admit it or not, you've realized that you need help dealing with that problem. You came here for help. I want to help you, but I can't smack you on the forehead and heal you. It's not nearly that simple. You have to give a lot. The majority of your success or failure is on your head.

Jinny: And that's supposed to comfort me?

Milton: If you're not willing to admit that you have a problem; if you're not willing to accept that you can't quit unless you without help; if you can't openly talk about your drinking and what you think causes it, if you're not willing to open yourself up to someone else's advice, and that advice sometimes comes in the form of criticism; all of this, it won't help. You'll walk out of here, and in two days be back to your old self. Can you accept these terms? There's a lot at stake here for you. Your friends, your job, your reputation, and from the looks of the ring on your finger, a pretty great guy. You don't seem to want to start with your drinking so do you want to start by telling me about him?

Jinny: (looks at the ring and smiles, looks up and shrugs) He's a really great guy.

Milton: He has a name?

Jinny: Theodore. He's really special.

Milton: How long you been seeing him?

Jinny: Six months.

Milton: Is he one of the guys you met at the bar?

Jinny: (smiles, even though that hurt) NO. He's and ADA. I met hiim at work, kind of. He was mugged one day. I took his report.

Milton: Was it love at first sight?

Jinny: No. Well, I don't know. He asked me out then, but I said no.

Milton: But you liked him then?

Jinny: He was different. I actually remember our meeting. Most guys, I wake up to the next morning and wonder where they came from. (sarcastically) But then, I guess I always know.

Milton: You were doing so well, too.

Jinny: Sorry. It's just that, we've been going out for six months. all of that time, he's never asked me to have sex. I don't get it. That's just about all I'm good at, and he doesn't seem to care. Did I tell ya, I got drunk and crashed his birthday party? Ex-fiance, parents, all his closest friends were there. He was pretty upset.

Milton: You changed the subject awfully fast.

Jinny: What?

Milton: The sex?

Jinny: Oh, yeah. That. I thought you wanted to hear about my drinking.

Milton: I want to hear about you, Jinny. If you don't feel comfortable talking about your drinking right now, let's talk about sex.

Jinny: (laughs, sarcastically) Are you hittin' on me, doc?

Milton: (laughs, too) Hardly. So the two of you haven't had sex? Why do you think that is?

Jinny: Either he's gay, or I don't know, Maybe he's gay.

Milton: he proposed to you.

Jinny: Yeah, did I mention he had and ex-fiance? Her name was Jenny, with an 'e.'

Milton: You're wearing his ring. You said yes.

Jinny: No, actually, I haven't yet.

Milton: Why?

Jinny: Thinking about that.

Milton: Do you want to rationalize? Run some of those thoughts by me? Get an objective opinion?

Jinny: (thinking) Why me? I turned the guy down five times before I finally said yes. He isn't interested in me for sex. That's obvious. All he ever says is "When the time is right." I mean, we're laying there in bed right? And we're kissing and all that and I just freeze, and it's okay with him. We lay there, we talk, we go to sleep. I've actually SLEPT wiht this man. I feel like we've been intimate, but (grasping for what to say) (sarcasm wins out again) I know his name. I'm scared. Most guys I have sex with, I never see again. He comes back. I don't know why.

Milton: Ever occur to you that he could be in love?

Jinny: In love? With me? People love me for one thing. They get that, they're gone.

Milton: You're way too hard on yourself.

Jinny: I'm hard on myself? You shoudl meet my family, my friends. Hell, you should meet my boss.

Milton: In due time.

Jinny: Meaning?

Milton: We're going in circles, Jinny. Our time is up today. Unless you feel the need to discuss something else?

Jinny: No. Can I leave?

Milton: Soon. But before you leave, I want you to think of three positive things about Jinny Exstead.

Jinny: Excuse me?

Milton: Three things that you like about yourself. Simple things will get you by today. I'll expect more indepth things from now on, but you've done nothing down yourself today. I want to hear you say something positive about yourself. And i want you to think about those things until Tuesday, because then you'll have to add to that list.

Jinny: OH, come on.

Milton: (shrugs, waiting)

Jinny: Oh, okay. (thinking) I have great hair, I...(long pause, struggling) I am a good friend. God that sounds cheezy. And, (longer pause), I don't know.

Milton: Are you good at your job?

Jinny: I used to think I was.

Milton: Good enough. We'll talk about that Tuesday. So do some thinking on that and I'll expect another positive trait, then, too, so keep thinking. (as Jinny is leaving) And Jinny...

Jinny: What?

Milton: I'm writing you a script for Paxil. I want you to start taking it in the morning.

Jinny: What's that? You get me off booze by druggin' me up? No thanks.

Milton: It's an anti-depressant, Jinny. Once it gets into your syste, it'll help with some of your feelings of inadequacy. I'm also writing you one for Ativan, 0.5 mg, prn; low dose, but it should help you sleep at night, if you need it, just ask for it. It doesn't mean you're weak.

Jinny: (rolls her eyes and walks out)


(Friday and Saturday are pretty uneventful for Jenny. She still isn't getting along with her roommate. tonight's group meeting held Jinny's thoughts for most of the day. She wasn't sure she was prepared to stand up in fron of a bunch of strangers and reveal to them her entire life story. Dr. Milton and Dr. Lathen had told her she wouldn't have to talk much tonight, but that she would be expected to introduce herself and tell everyone why she was there, then she'd have to listen closely as the other ladies spoke. Jinny was a good listener.)

(Once the dinner dishes are cleaned and put away, Jinny goes upstairs to get ready for the meeting. Miranda is there dressing, having alread been in the shower. She sees Jinny come in and frowns.)

(Jinny's returned scowl is no source of comfort and Miranda turns back to the mirror to finish doing her hair and makeup.)

Miranda: If you're going to shower, I haven't picked up my towels het. Just kick them out of the way, I'll get them later.

Jinny: (on the way to the bathroom with her things) Yeah, sure.

(Miranda eyes her as she closes the door. She wishes she were as tough as Jinny. But if she were that tough, she wouldn't be mean to everybody, just those that deserved it.)

(Jinny gets out of the shower and finds Miranda gone. Thank God, she thinks to herself. She gets dressed and heads to the dining room for this meeting.)

(Jinny walks in and everyone stops what they're doing to look at her. Then they go back to their gossiping. Jinny takes a chair along a far wall and waits to get started.)

Lathen: Okay folks, gather your chairs into a circle, and let's get started. (when all settles) This is our newest resident. Compliments of being new, Jinny, we'll let you introduce yourself last, so that you get a feel of how things are done around here. So let's get started. Sasha, you want to start?

(A Hispanic lady stands up and looks around the room.)

Sasha: Hi, everybody. My name is Sasha, I'm 28, and I'm an alcoholic. I'm here because this is the last chance I get to dry out before they take my babies for good.

(Each person goes around the room introducing themselves in much the same manner. Some state drugs as their ticket here, others, alcohol. Each person's story is just as pathetic. Finally, it comes to Jinny. She stands and looks around for a brief moment.)

Jinny: I'm Jinny, I'm 32, and I'm here because my friends think I have a drinking problem.

Sasha: You're an alcoholic just like the rest of us. You can't sugar coat it with fancy words. Until you're ready to admit that, you're wasting your time here. I've been around this game enough to know.

Jinny: (sarcastically) I'll keep that in mind.

Lathen: (interrupting their conversation) Anyone have a good week they'd like to share with us?

Sasha: I saw my babies last week. They've grown so much in the two months I've been here. I'm supposed to get to home next weekend, and then if I stay sober for a month, they'll let me have my babies back on a trial basis. (crying) I'm really excited. I just wanted to let you all know that you've helped me so much, and I'm in the book, if you get out and want to come visit. But only if you're clean, and sober.

Miranda: I saw my sister last week for the first time. She cried a lot. She says mom and dad are still mad at me. I don't think they'll ever forgive me. (tears) I just wanted my boyfriend to like me. I never thought about what we wre doing. Just that when we did it, he'd love me more.

(Several women spoke of good things that had happened to them throughout the week. Many spoke of heartaches, as well. I seemed that several of them had children that they were on the verge of losing, or had already lost. Jinny was glad that she didn't have to worry about that. Though, she did have to admit that she missed Ben.)

Sasha: What about you, Jinny? You got any kids?

Jinny: (annoyed) No. Single, too.

Sasha: You don't have to be so negative. Sarcasm doesn't get you anywhere.

Jinny: In my line of work, it gets me everywhere.

Miranda: What do you do?

Jinny: Let's just say, that I hve an honest job, and I make enough to pay the bills and still get plastered every night.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Well, what do you think so far? Keep going? or no?

[Babes_Cat]

Originally posted by dovesong
Sasha: You don't have to be so negative. Sarcasm doesn't get you anywhere.

Jinny: In my line of work, it gets me everywhere.

Miranda: What do you do?

Jinny: Let's just say, that I hve an honest job, and I make enough to pay the bills and still get plastered every night.

Ok! Jinny: Queen of Sarcasm! I LOVE THIS! IT IS SO ASWESOME! MORE PLEASE!

[dovesong]

You guys know just what to say to make a girl feel special (sniff, sniff)..........

Here's a little more, but I'm gonna have think faster and write more or I'm gonna have to slow down on posting for a while.....

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Sasha: And you enjoy that?

Jinny: Didn't you?

Sasha: (shaking her head, sadly) No. Not really. I used it as a method of escaping. I had a great job, but I met this guy. He was so wonderful, but the longer I was with him, the meaner he got. He made me quit my job, then I couldn't leave thehouse, not even to walk to then end of the driveway to check the mail. He started beating me every nigt. I got pregnant, and I thought that maybe he'd like me more, but...(shrugs) So I started drinking to forget. Then he found another woman and left me and the kids. I drank to forget that I didn't have the money to fee them, and clothe them and the care of them properly. All I wanted to do was forget all my problems. But then I'd wake up and they'd be worse, because I drake the rent and we'd have to leave, and it just got to the point that my neighbors call CPS on me. (crying softly) They came and took my babies and...

(A woman who had introduce herself as Megan earlier, put her arm around Sasha. Sasha put her hand on Meagan's. She took a deep breath.)

Sasha: But I'm ready to be responsible for my babies, now. I'm ready to be what I couldn't be then. I'm a stronger person now.

(A few others spoke. Jinny listened to the stories. They all seemed to be like Jiny's .... Everyone watned to forget one bad thing or a series of bad events in their lives. Jinny felt sorry for them. She felt sorry for herself. She saw that they had all become closer to each other druing their time here. She wanted that. Wanted to be able to trust someone like that. But she was afraid. They all had believable stories. What made hers any different? She wasn't willing to open herself up to that possible criticism. They criticized her enough as she was.)

Lathen: Jinny, you never answered Sasha's question. Did you enjoy being drunk every night?

Jinny: (doesn't speak, looks away, frowning)

Lathen: I'll take that as a no.

Sasha: They why'd you do it?

Jinny: For the same reason you did.

Sasha: To forget?

Lathen: Want to talk about it?

Jinny: No. (gets up and walks out)

****(Tuesday, Jinny's session with Dr. Milton)****

Milton: Good morning, Jinny. How was your weekend?

Jinny: Peachy. Yours?

Milton: Fine. How was your first group meeting?

Jinny: (eying her) You really think I need to go into that?

Milton: (smiles, nods)

Jinny: Right. Well, let's see. My roommate, who hated me before, likes me even less now. Um, Sasha? Yeah, I htink that's her name, ditto. I think that goes pretty much for the rest of them, too.

Milton: I talked to your roommate last week. Seems she doesn't think you've hit it off well. Why do you think that is?

Jinny: You like asking me that, don't you? Maybe it has something to do with the fact that I'm, oh, 32, and she's, oh, maybe 19? Do you see any common interests here doc?

Milton: She's 20. Not that that is any of your business.

Jinny: I've busted 20 just like her for possession, and their boyfriends, too.

Milton: We'll come back to Miranda. Speaking of your employment, Jinny. You said last week that you didn't think you were a good cop anymore. I'd ask you why, but you don't seem to like that. So, Explain that.

Jinny: (rolls her eyes) Please.

Milton: I'm listening.

Jinny: Okay. My boss, she's always on my case. Nothing I do maker her happy.

Milton: Do you think it has anything to do with the fact that you show up for work intoxicated? I'm referring only to the events that led up to your suspension.

Jinny: Only to those events? Meaning?

Milton: I've spoken to your captain. Thisisn't the only incident in which she's found you intoxicated, or had you coming in to work with a hangover. or the several times she cited that you've called in sick, with a hangover. You think that might have an inpact on her opinion of you? Or at least your work ethic?

Jinny: (tired) I can't argue with that.

Milton: I didn't think so. (pauses, watching Jinny) So tell me, Jinny. How do you feel?

Jinny: (looks curious, questioning) You mean honestly, or...?

Milton: (nods) Honestly.

Jinny: (sighs loudly, sarcasm gone) I could use a drink.

Milton: (nods approvingly) That's what I wanted to hear.

Jinny: (fired up again) Excuse me?

Milton: Had you said anything else, I'd have called you a liar.

Jinny: So when is this going to go away? This feeling. These craving.

Milton: Honestly, Jinny? It never goes away.

Jinny: Great. What am I doing here then?

Milton: We're not here to make it go away. We're here, Jinny, to teach you how to deal with it. If we kept you here until you didn't desire it anymore, you'd never leave. Eventually, yes, the craving will less, some. But they'll never go away, not completely. You just have to learn to be strong. To resist those cravings. That'll get easier, too. You wouldn't commit you life to a PERSON who was bad for you, don't commit yourself to this monster, either.

Jinny: I have no trouble at all committing to the guys that are bad for me, but I can't commit to Theodore, whose been nothing but good for me. How am I NOT supposed to let alcohol rule me?

Milton: Jinny, you just have to be strong and not give in. But there's another key to your success in this, Jinny. That is acepting you weaknesses and learning to depend on others Jinny. Learning to trust people. You go on a call with a partner you trust, you have to build that trust. You have to learn to trust people in general, Jinny.

Jinny: In my profession, it pays not to be to trusting.

Milton: That's understandable, but JInny, all of these women are here for the same reason you are. They understand that people have flaws. They are flawed. They are forgiving people.

Jinny: Forgiving until they find out I'm a cop.

Milton: (exasperated) You have to learn to trust someone, Jinny.

Jinny: I do. I trust myself.

Milton: sits quietly for a moment, then) Tell me about your mother, Jinny.

Jinny: (stands up quickly, agitated) That's none of you're d***ed business. (paces)

Milton: I see. (pauses, watching) Feel guilty?

Jinny: Shut up!

(Jinny and Dr. Milton lock eyes. The anger and toment shin in Jinny's eyes. You see the tears wanting to spill, but Jinny won't allow them.)

Milton: I know about your mother, Jinny.

Jinny: How?

Milton: Sandra Fogelson.

Jinny: (turns away. pacing)

Milton: (compassionately) Sit down, Jinny.

Jinny: (shakes her head, afraid to speak, sniffs)

(Dr. Milton walks around the desk. She approaches Jinny who is extremely shaken. She puts her hands on Jinny's arms. Jinny pushes her away and walks to the window. She looks out, unseeing.)

Milton: Have you been taking the Paxil, Jinny?

Jinny: (nods)

Milton: And the Ativan at night?

Jinny: No.

Milton: Have you been sleeping at night?

Jinny: (no response)

Milton: Why not?

Jinny: (still no response)

Milton: Tell me, Jinny. Do you still see her?

Jinny: (nods, breaks down, sobbing.)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Okay, time to go play Barbie (I hate Barbie) with my daughter. And then maybe make some cotton candy. Children are soooooooooooooo wonderul. ta ta for now

[Divisionbabe05]

whoa whoa whoa...u stopped there?!?!?!? This is sooooooo AWESOME!!!!!!!!!

[AllIWantIsYourClutch]

MORE MORE MORE!!!!!


(Lil note.......my mom was on Paxil. She wasn't depressed though. The docs gave it to her for a different reason. Then she had a seizure and they didnt give her any pills because everyone thought it was the Paxil.....until she had another seizure, fell off the bed and broke her neck.....)

[dovesong]

Thank you all again for the positive words (ha ha). Sorry to hear about your mom NancyRulz, is she okay now? I hope.

Well, not that I expect anyone to read this for a while anyways, with The Division coming on soon, but I'll write it anyways and it'll be here when it's off.

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(Jinny puts her hands over her face and sobs hards. She's exhausted. Sh'es tired of fighting. She wants so badly to trust this woman, but she just can't.....can she?)

Jinny: (quietly) How much did that lady tell you about my mother?

Milton: (shocked) Just that she committed suicide and that you were the one that found her.

Jinny: They tell you I was only 14. (screaming) FOURTEEN!!!!!

Milton: Yes, they did tell me that. I'm sorry, Jinny. I won't say I know how you feel, because I don't. But, many of those women out there have lost someone close to them. I'm sure they could sympathize....

Jinny: (too loudly) I don't want their sympathy!!!!!

Milton: Maybe sympathize wasn't the appropriate word. They can understand your loss, your pain. Sasha's kids aren't dead, but don't you think that she misses not being able to hold them? Don't you think that's a BIG loss for her? Jinny, I'm trained to be a sympathetic year....(Jinny interrupts)

Jinny: (sarcastically) Oh, yeah? Ask any bartender in town, I'm a sympathetic ear.

Milton: Jinny, I've been trained to listen and give appropriate responses, ask the appropriate questions to make you consider your problems in a way that you haven't before. That's how we solve your problems. These women, Jinny, they've been there. If you would just listen to them, they can help you get back. But you have to trust someone, you have to be willing to follow for a change.

(Dr. Milton pauses to give Jinny time to let this sink in.)

Milton: It's time to stop running, Jinny. Standup and face this. Why do you feel guilty about your mother's death?

Jinny: (shrugs)

Milton: If you don't want to talk to me, talk to the wall, I don't care. Just get it out of your system.

Jinny: I don't know. Maybe....maybe if I'd gotten better grades or if I'd helped with the housework a little more, or if I'd tried to get along better with John, Jr...(pauses, thinking) She'd say, "I don't know what I'm going to do with you guys, I just don't know." and we'd just look at her and keep fighting.

Milton: And you think that made her love you less?

Jinny: I don't know. Something did.

Milton: Jinny, she gave birth to you. She fed you, clothed you, and loved you for all those years. Do you really think that one day she decided that she didn't love you anymore?

Jinny: (angry) She woke up one day and decided something that made her kill herself. What gives you the right to make a determination like that?

Milton: I'm a parent. I have three teenagers that are constantly fighting, and as much as I tire of that, I still love them, and I'd never want to leave or kill myself because of them.

Jinny: (still angry) Then tell me, doc. What was so bad in my mother's life that she'd step out on me like that? On US like that!?!

Milton: Jinny, I didn't know your mother and I won't sit her and make guesses about why she did it. She obviously had some issues that needed dealt with. Was she seeing someone, Jinny? A doctor? Someone that could have been treating her for depression or anxiety disorders or anything like that?

Jinny: I don't know.

Milton: Perhaps if she had, she wouldn't have done it. All we can do is guess. Maybe she though she was handling it and could deal with it on her own. Like alcoholism, Jinny, some mental disorders can sneak up on you. Make think you're okay and don't need help. If she was sick, Jinny, it's really hard to tell what she was thinking. So, don't blame yourself. Don't rationalize this by making it your fault.

(Jinny is crying quietly. She wants to fight back, to tell this doctor she doesn't know what she's talking about. Jinny desperately wants to believe her. She wants to believe it wasn't her fault. She wants to be able to think about her mother again and not end up feeling so guilty. She's struggling with all the things going through her mind. She really wants to believe.)

Milton: You don't have kids, do you, Jinny?

Jinny: No. Lucky them.

Milton: Jinny, if you ever have kids, you'll know how special they are.

Jinny: Magda's little boy is sweet. I tell him stories sometimes.

Milton: (surprised that Jinny is freely offering information) Would you want to anything to yourself, knowing how much it would hurt him?

Jinny: (shakes her head)

Milton: Now do you understand the point that I'm trying to make?

Jinny: (nods)

Milton: Well, (looks at clock) our time was up a half hour ago. Do you need more time or do you feel confident enough to walk out there and face the crowd?

Jinny: yeah, I'm okay. (stands and goes to leave)

Milton: Oh, Jinny.

Jinny: (stops and turns)

Milton: Congratulations, you made it through your first week. (holds up a urine specimen cup) Pee in the cup. (points) That bathroom. There's no sink in there, and don't flush.

Jinny returns from the bathroom and hands her back the cup. Again, she turns to leave, but is stopped)

Milton: Jinny, don't forget you ticket out of here. One positive aspect of Jinny Exstead.

Jinny: Oh, yeah. Um...(stops and thinks for a minute) I tell good stories.

Milton: (nods) Bye. Thursday.

(Jinny survived the rest of the week with little incident. She stilll refused to associate with the other ladies; other than what was required for their chores. She snapped at any personal questions, and walked away from any others' conversations that became personal. Frida came and Jinny was just beginning to think she'd survived another week.)

(Friday evening came around and Jinny had gone to the vending machines for her sixth soda of the day. On her way back through the dining room, she heard a commotion. Jinny turns just in time to see a woman twice her size pick up a chair and come at her. Jinny sets her soda down and ducks just in time to miss the first swing. Standing back up....)

Jinny: What the hell was that for?!?!?!

Lady: You B****!!! Let's see how tough you are when you're not packin' heat. (throws the cair down and comes at Jinny swinging)

(Jinny blocks the first swing but misses the second. It catches Jinny in the jaw. It throws Jinny off balance. Jinny turns back around to find the woman's hands going around her throat.)

(They struggle for a few seconds and Jinny really get mad. She takes her foot and drills it into the woman's knee causing her to stumble slightly. Jinny takes this opportunity to try to restrain the woman. She wrestles the woman's arms around behind her and slams her into the nearest wall.)

Jinny: Tough enough.

(About that time Jinny felt herself being grabbed from behind and pulled backwards. Unsure of what else could go wrong, as this person turns Jinny around, she swings, catching the orderly square in the nose and knocking him backwards off his feet. She felt two more people grap her and felt the bite of the needle settle into her arm. She struggles against the powerful arms that are holding her until she begins to feel lightheaded and slumps to the ground.)

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Well, I've posted about half my story, so far. I finished writing it today, if you're still interested in the rest, let me know.....

[Divisionbabe05]

I'm still interested...this is TOO great chik!!!!!!! I need more this is soooo awesome! I hope there is more later tonite!

[dovesong]

I'm really glad someone likes this....

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(Kate MacCafferty is sitting at her desk Saturday morning, reading over the case load. She is scribbling orders on a file when the phone rings.)

Captain: MacCafferty. (pause) Yes, Dr. Milton. (pause) Jinny? Oh, God. Is there anything I can do? (pause) (reaches for a scratch pad and scribbles a name) Yes. I'll see what I can come up with. How's she doing otherwise? (pause) Great. Giver her my best wishes. And tell her I said to straighten up and get back here soon. We need her. (pause) Okay. Thanks, bye.

(Captain MacCafferty hangs up the phone and puts her head on her desk. She's disappointed.)

(Magda, C.D. and Angela are sitting at their desks, talking; waiting for the Captain to come out with the days new cases.)

C.D.: So, Magda, how'd it got last night with Gabriel?

Magda: Wel, we're talking about things a little better now. He wants to move in, but we've decided to put that step off for a little longer. Ben would love it, but I'm just not sure that Garbiel is gonna stay around. I mean, he's been here two months, but he's been gone eight years. That's a lot to make up for.

C.D.: I know. Don't rush things, we don't want you unhappy, too.

Angela: So, you going to see Jinny tomorrow?

Magda: Yeah, Teddy and I are going up there. We're going to take her some more things, bath stuff and such. They would only let her bring the basics when she first left. Now they'll let her have a few amenities from home.

(The Captain walks out of her office and leans up against the door frame. She sighs and looks at her three remaining Inspectors. She shakes her head.)

Captain: My office and shut the door.

(She doesn't wait for them to get up and follow, but returns to the comfort of her chair and waits for the others to get comfortable.)

C.D.: Captain, is everything okay?

Captain: (shakes her head and puts her hands up to massage her temples) It's Jinny. She got in a fight yesterday.

Magda: Oh, no. Is she all right? What happened? Is she hurt?

C.D.: Question is, Mag, is someone else hurt?

Captain: (holds up her hands to stop the questions) Everything is being smoothed over as we speak, hopefully. Dr. Milton called a few minutes ago. Said that Jinny was attacked yesterday by another patient. I did some research. Apparently, this patient's daughter, Magda, was the one whose boyfriend Jinny shot a couple months ago.

Magda: (thinks for a moment) Oh, yeah, what was his name? Sargent? Yeah, he ran. Jinny ended up shooting him in the leg. She didn't hurt him, they didn't even admit him to the hospital.

Captain: Well, apparently Mamma isn't too happy. She attacked Jinny. She tried to choke Jinny, but Jinny got free. She got her restrained, after shattering the lady's kneecap. When the orderlies arrived, it was Jinny they saw....well, you know. One of the orderlies tried to pull Jinny off the woman, and Jinny didn't wait to see who grabbed her, just came around swinging. Broke his nose, concussion. Thankfully, there were witnesses in Jinny's favor. No charges are being pressed, the woman is being transferred, but from my understanding, Jinny isn't too happy right now. They apparently gave Jinny a sedative, knocked her out, restraints, you know the drill. (all are quiet for a few minutes)

Magda: (laughs a little, sounds sympathetic) Now Jinnyknows what it's like to be on the other side of the law. I'm sure she realizes how much she's gotten away with by being in law enforcement. Maybe this will teach her a lesson.

Captain: Well, Magda Ramirez, are you finally mastering the finer points of "Tough Love?" I'm proud of you.

Magda: (smiles, shrugs) She's been coddled for a long time. That approach didn't work very well. She give you an idea of how Jinny is going otherwise?

Captain: (smiles) She's not getting along with the other residents or patients, or whatever you want to call them. But Dr. Milton assures me her counseling sessions are doing wonders. She say that Jinny is opening up wonderfully. She says that she thinks Jinny has the potential to overcome this, and really seems to want to; now that she's sober enough to understand the concept of being sober.

Magda: I'm really glad.

Captain: Enough talk. Cases.
~~~~~~~~*******~~~~~~~~

(Jinny wakes up groggy. She makes an effort to rub her eyes, but cannot manage to raise her arms. She opens her eyes wider and looks around. She's in an unfamiliar place, like a hospital. She tries to sit up but she can't because of her arms.)

Jinny: Damn!

Lathen: Good morning, Jinny. How are you feeling? (disposing of a syringe in the sharps container across the room)

Jinny: Go to hell! What was that?

Lathen: Cranky aren't we? Just a little something to, um, calm you down. It'll make you feel better.

Jinny: What am I doing here?

Lathen: You were in a fight yesterday, remember?

Jinny: (defensively) That wasn't my fault! That woman attacked me! What? I can't defend myself? What was I supposed to do, stand there and let her beat the crap out of me? I don't think so!

Lathen: Violence is not permitted here.

Jinny: (raises her arms) Let me go!

Lathen: (coming closer, too close for Jinny) I can't, not yet. You need to calm down first.

Jinny: I'm as calm as I'm gonna get until you untie me!

Lathen: Well then, I'm afraid we have a problem.

Jinny: (rolls her eyes and looks away)

(Jinny hears the door open and another person enter the room.)

Lathen: Dr. Milton, thank you for coming in today. I'm really sorry for having to ask you to do this.

Milton: It's quite all right. Just give me some time to speak with her.

(Dr. Lathen leaves. Milton approaches Jinny's bed, but Jinny doesn't look at her.)

Milton: Want to talk about it?

Jinny: Does it look like I'm in the mood to talk?

Milton: You want released? (as an afterthough) From the bed?

Jinny: (raises her arms as far as she can as an indication) I need to go to the bathroom.

Milton: (she presses the releases on the restraints) We have to discuss this, Jinny. You want to talk here or my office?

Jinny: Neither sounds very appealing. (sitting on the side of the bed and rubbing her wrists) Who was that and what'd I do to her?

Milton: Go to the bathroom and we'll go to my office and talk.

(In Dr. Milton's office)


Milton: What happened yesterday?

Jinny: (shrugs) I don't know. I walked down stairs, she came after me. I did what I had to do to defend myself. I didn't hurt her. I'm a 3rd degree black belt in karate, if I'd wanted to hurt her.....

Milton: You busted her kneecap. Then you broke the intern's nose and hit him hard enough to give him a concussion.

Jinny: I didn't hurt her. That'll heal. Why'd she attack me?

Milton: Just stay away from her.

Jinny: (angry) Stay away from her!?! I don't recall antagonizing her at all. I don't belong here. These people (indicating towards the door) they're crazy. She wasn't playing around, (indicating the marks still on her neck) she tried to kill me in case you didn't notice!!

Milton: It didn't look like you wre having too much trouble defending yourself. You just need to try to calm down.

Jinny: (even angrier) Oh, so now it's self-defense?! So, for defending myself, I get shot full of God only knows what and tied to a bed? And you want me to CALM DOWN!!!

Milton: Yes.

Jinny: Well forget it! I want out of here and I want out of here TODAY!!

Milton: I'm sorry, Jinny. I can't do that.

Jinny: (slams her fist down on the desk) And why not!?!

Milton: (calmly, unblinking) That may work in your profession, but it won't get you anywhere here. Sit down.

Jinny: I don't want to sit down.

Milton: (raises her voice, slightly for the first time) Sit down.

Jinny: Now you sound like my Captain.

Milton: (thinking) Violence is not permitted here, Jinny. It may work well in your profession, but not here. I understand you were being attacked, and I'm willing to forget this happened, all things considered. Fortunately for you, these ladies have sympa...(considers word, changes it) have an understanding of your situation, and though they don't particularly care for you or your attitude, they've made sure that we know what happened, because frankly from the perspective of the orderlies, you were looking pretty guilty. But the, they only caught the last half of the, what do you call it, altercation?

Jinny: Altercation (sarcastically) yeah. Great. So tell me, why did she attack me.

Milton: I don't have to share that information with you, but since your captain was the one who shared it with me, I figure you'll find out soon enough. I ran the name by Captain MacCafferty and she did some checking and found that you worked on a case a few months ago. She didn't give me a name. Said that you'd busted her daughter and boyfriend for drugs. Boyfriend ran. You shot him.

Jinny: (rolls her eyes in recognition of the case) I shot him in the leg to keep him from running. It was a superficial wound. They dressed it at the hospital and sent him back home, or well, to jail. I can't believe this. (Jinny gets up and paces)

Milton: (watches Jinny pace for a few minutes) Tell me what you're thinking, Jinny.

Jinny: (stops and stares at Dr. Milton, she sighs and shakes her head) Nothing.

Milton: Honesty, Jinny.

Jinny: Like it's hard to figure out.

Milton: (laughs out loud) Sobriety is rough isn't it?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

What to do when I finish this????????????? Oh me....getting closer......

[dovesong]

What? Nobody interested in the ending?

[Babes_Cat]

I AM! I WANT MORE! MORE PLEASE!