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Originally posted by JaneTVFan
"She could be very cold," admits daughter Lucie Arnaz, "and although she told me she loved me all the time, I didn't feel loved." This is what Lucie is quoted as saying in the new biography of Lucille Ball, "Ball of Fire." Less than a year after her mother died, she told Joan Rivers on her show that her mother was a "control freak." Several years ago she told the writers of the book "Desilu" (among a number of other unflattering things) that her mother had "the emotional maturity of a five-year-old." And frankly, I can't think of a kind thing she ever said about her mother.
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I think that you could be reading too much into this. Yes, Lucy could be very cold. So many people around her have said that. It was part of her personality. Why deny the truth? And the part about Lucie not feeling loved, well, there were times when I was younger when my parents used the 'tough love' method -- and I sure as heck didn't feel loved, either. Lucie didn't say, "Although she told me she loved me all the time, I really don't think she ever loved me." She said she didn't
feel loved. Big difference.
And the part about her calling her mother a "control freak" -- I can't see what is so wrong with that, either. I have friends who I would call control freaks, but I love 'em to death anyway. Again, it is just one aspect of her personality. It's the truth! And it is also the reason why her shows worked so well -- she was controlling, but turned out good shows as a result.
Finally, in "Desilu", I don't believe that Lucie made that comment to be cruel. She gives readers an insight into why her mother was the way she was, comedically, emotionally, etc. Let me quote from the book to make my point:
Lucie: "The worst thing you can do is supress pain, and she made a career out of supressing all of her pain....Thank God she had her comedy to act out all this childhood fantasy. She was really stuck at a young age emotionally, and she probably stopped any sort of serious emotional growth around that five-to-six-year-old stage. My mother would get angry or react emotionally like a child, like a frustrated child in a tantrum......and yet, that's why she was such a great comic. Because she could indentify with that childlike humor and youthful crazines and unabashed bravery. An overcoming of that pain in performing, if you're lucky, gives you a gift that you can give back to people."
She recognizes her mother as someone whose frustrations were rooted in a deep pain that was transformed into something that her mother gave back to the world. Her mother probably did throw tantrums, which, in my opinon, is childish. That doesn't make me love her any less. I think that Lucie was just telling it like it is, something that her mother certainly did a lot of. The truth hurts, but I don't think that Lucie was trying to hurt her mother by telling it.
Quote:
Originally posted by SPLAIN
Insiders have recently told me that Lucie's kids are experiencing some problems with underage drinking and pot smoking, how come? I thought Lucie was the perfect mother, maybe she's human like all of us, and her own mother also after all!
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You can't really throw that in her face. No matter how hard you try to set your children on the right track, no matter what values and morals you try to instill in them, teenagers are going to make their own decisions in the end. I know plenty of teens whose parents couldn't keep them from doing those kinds of things, despite the amount of Bible studies they were forced to attend growing up. Kids will do what they want to; it doesn't mean that their parents were bad ones.
In conclusion (finally!), I don't know how Lucie really feels about her mother. I don't know Lucie personally, and probably none of us do. But when looking at the evidence (at least the evidence mentioned in the first post of this thread), I don't consider Lucie to be a "Lucy basher." People ask her questions, she answers them honestly. And, unfortunatly, the bad things people say about a famous person tend to get printed more often then the the good things because that's what our society craves.
Remember the nice song that Lucie sang to her mother when she was inducted into the Television Hall of Fame called "My Mother the Star"? It was performed with nothin' but love, if you ask me.