First of all sweetie, I am so sorry for what you just found out. My heart goes out to you. What shocking news. I know you mentioned your rift with your mother and I felt your pain.
My opinion, I think somewhere down the road you may regret not having gone to her funeral. I feel you can say your private goodbyes to her. It is no one's business whether you go or not. It is your decision. I can't talk for your mother, but only she knows why she did what she did. She lost out on her beautiful children and grandchildren. It was her loss. Whatever demons she may have dealt with obviously interfered with her judgment and common sense.
You do what you think is best FOR YOU. Don't let others dictate what you should do. I just feel this will be your chance to make peace with yourself and hopefully release all that anger that you have inside. Don't let that hate put so much weight on your shoulders, and most of all, your heart. Let it go.
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