Here are a couple of mine I can think of right now:
1) In "Book of Samuel" when Sam tells Diane, Woody and Carla that he's going out of town and one of them has to be in charge of the bar. Then they all want to do it so he tries to decide who's going to get the job with all these weird games, and in the end he ends up picking Woody because "he's the only one who hasn't annoyed the HELL out of me in the past five minutes!" (or something close to that). THEN he tells Woody, "Okay, first rule, keep this [the bat] with you at all times."
2) In Executive Suite when Sam is on the phone with Martin Teal and Rebecca wants him to tell him they are together so Martin will leave her alone. He calmly says to Martin, "Hold on, there's... a fire here" so he can say something to Rebecca. The way he says it, it always cracks me up.
3) In "And God Created the Woodman" when everyone in the bar tries on the shoes that they ordered from Cliff and they squeak. Then the guy who's vase was broken at the party (who was he? I forgot) comes in not remembering who had broken it at the party and says he can't remember because he was drunk the night before. Now he seems mad about his vase when the night before he was fine with it. So Woody comes in, unaware he's now mad, and starts to admit it was him. Rebecca tries to stop him by yelling "FIRE!" then everyone at the bar starts running to the door- with their shoes squeaking.
(hmm, why do these last two both have to do with fire? lol. Kinda ironic since there later WAS a fire.)
4) In "I Will Gladly Pay You Tuesday" when Sam is starting to get worried that Diane isn't going to pay him back his $500 and is getting irritated because she's buying other frivolous things. So she buys Girl Scout cookies and offers Sam some and he takes a few and smashes them, then he takes some more and smashes them. Then he calmly goes, "I shouldn't have had that last one."
I know I have a lot more but those just came to me!
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