Sitcoms Online Message Boards - Forums - The Honeymooners https://sitcomsonline.com/boards/ en Sun, 19 Jul 2026 21:10:30 GMT vBulletin 60 https://sitcomsonline.com/boards/images/misc/rss.jpg Sitcoms Online Message Boards - Forums - The Honeymooners https://sitcomsonline.com/boards/ <![CDATA[Honeymooners Episode Reviews: “Ralph’s Big Mouth” (aka “Head of The House”) & more:]]> https://sitcomsonline.com/boards/showthread.php?t=515706&goto=newpost Fri, 17 Jul 2026 10:54:03 GMT Honeymooners Episode Reviews: “Ralph’s Big Mouth” (aka “Head of The House”) & “The Worry Wart”:

Episode #135 (Syndicated episode #27)
TV: Half-hour.
VCR: Attached to "Here Comes The Bride." On some tapes, it’s attached to “House Beautiful” (aka “Pardon My Glove”) & “Young Man With A Horn.” On some tapes, it’s attached to “Dial J For Janitor”, “The Bensonhurst Bomber”, “Please Leave The Premises” & “Young Man With A Horn.”
DVD: Attached to episodes #24 - #32 of the classic 39. On the HD Blu Ray set it is attached to episodes #25-#33 of the Classic 39 (including two versions of "Pardon My Glove" [one of which has the original sponsor ads], two versions of "Young Man With A Horn" [one of which has the original sponsor ads], two versions of "Trapped" [one of which has the original sponsor ads], two versions of "On Stage" [one of which has the original sponsor ads] & two versions of "Opportunity Knocks, But" [one of which has the original sponsor ads.]
Laserdisc: Attached to “Young At Heart”, “Here Comes The Bride”, “A Dog’s Life”, “Please Leave The Premises”, “Young Man With A Horn”, “Mama Loves Mambo”, “House Beautiful” (aka “Pardon My Glove”), “The Worry Wart”, Ralph Kramden, Hero At Large” (aka “Trapped”), “The Loudspeaker”, “On Stage”, “Opportunity Knocks, But” & “Unconventional Behavior.”
Air Date: Sat. 3/31/56

This episode is one of two episodes that for some reason have been re-titled "Ralph's Big Mouth."

To see the script for this episode, click here: http://www.springfieldspringfield.co...episode=s04e27

Ralph and Ed are walking to their jobs. They walk into a questioning photographer from a newspaper. He interviews Ed. Q.P.: "Where do you live?" Ed: "I live in the Garden Spot of the World. Brooklyn, USA." Since this episode was taped in front of a New York crowd, the crowd applauds. He asks him who's the boss of the household and he says that he is and that any man who is afraid of his wife, isn't a man. Ed: "Now, don't quote me because if my wife reads that, she'll kill me." Ralph is convinced that he is afraid of Trixie and is not afraid to admit that in his house, he thinks that he is the boss of the household. He goes on and on about how he's the boss of the household. The Q.P. records Ralph's answers. He says that will type his answers in the evening paper tonight and takes a picture of Ralph. Ralph is still not afraid. The Q.P. leaves the scene. Ralph: "I'm a horse and you are a mouse Norton." Ed: "I rather be a live mouse than a dead horse." They leave.

At home, Ralph is trying his best to not let Alice read the evening paper because he doesn't like their editorial policy and because they cut out Little Orphan Annie. Ed comes down with the evening paper and shows it to Alice and abruptly gets kicked out by Ralph. Alice is mad. Alice: "Out of all the men that were given these questions, you were the only one to make a stupid comment like that." Ralph: "I was the only one stupid enough to make a stupid comment like that." Trixie comes down. She is upset that he kicked Ed out. Ralph is going upstairs to apologize and he will bring Ed down to celebrate the emancipation. He leaves. Since Ralph is planning to drink beer out of the container and if he does that, Ralph will get drunk out of his mind, Alice takes the beer out and replaces it with grape juice. The wives are convinced that their husbands won't know the difference. The husbands come down and start to drink the grape juice and think that they are drinking beer. The wives leave. As the scene goes on, Jackie and Art completely go against the script and decide to ad-lib the whole dialogue. They ad-libbed greatly and the people (except the audience) knew it and apparently were laughing hysterically because what Jackie and Art were ad-libbing was so funny. This was mentioned on The Honeymooners 50th Anniversary Celebration. One of the things that Jackie and Art ad-lib was a song entitled: "We have a dream" that is purposely sung badly since they knew that their characters were "drunk." Ralph & Ed fall asleep. The girls come back in. Trixie: "Alice, a toast to our husbands." Alice: "A toast, you can have them." The scene ends.

The next day in the bus depot locker room, every one of Ralph's co-workers are marveling at what Ralph said about being the head of the house. One of them says that he doesn't believe it. Ralph comes in and knows what's going on. Ed comes in. He & Ralph are going to have lunch together. One of the co-workers says that he doesn't believe what Ralph did and he will when he sees it. He makes a bet with Ralph saying that he can't prove that he's the boss of the household by ordering Alice too cook dinner for them and for having it ready when he walks in the Kramden's home. Ralph accepts the bet and tries to call Alice (who is at her mother's) on the pay phone. I think you can tell that even though the phone is attached to the wall, the bottom of it is not. Ralph gets Alice and abruptly orders her to come home and cook dinner. She hangs up. Ralph tells Norton of what just happened and they cook up a scheme. They will cook dinner for Ralph and his co-worker.

At home, the boys are cooking dinner. They are not doing a good job. Ralph puts the chicken in the oven and says, "I'll put it on full and it will cook in twice the time." He should have said "Half the time". That was a blooper. Another two things that go wrong is that the chicken ends up getting stunk onto Ralph's clothes and Ed puts in WAY to much rice in the pot and in the process the rice in the pot overflows and goes all over the stove and floor. Alice comes in and sees what the damage that Ralph and Ed did. Ralph explains the bet he made with his co-worker. Alice says that if he just asked her instead of ordering her to cook for him and his co-worker, this would have never happened. Ed leaves as Alice goes into the bedroom. The co-worker comes and sees that dinner isn't ready. He is ready to win the bet when Alice comes in and saves Ralph by lying to his co-worker about she was cooking the dinner when the stove went kabloey and if he came back tomorrow, when he comes in, she will give him the greatest dinner. He leaves. Ralph is appreciative of what Alice has done. He apologizes. They kiss and hug.

“The Worry Wart":

Episode #136 (Syndicated episode #28)
TV: Half-hour.
VCR: Attached to "A Matter of Life & Death." On some tapes, it is attached to “Ralph Kramden, Hero At Large” (aka “Trapped”) & “The Loudspeaker.” On some tapes, it is attached to “Funny Money”, “$99,000 Answer”, Ralph Kramden, Hero At Large” (aka “Trapped”) & “Ralph Kramden Inc.”
DVD: Attached to episodes #24 - #32 of the classic 39. On the HD Blu Ray set it is attached to episodes #25-#33 of the Classic 39 (including two versions of "Pardon My Glove" [one of which has the original sponsor ads], two versions of "Young Man With A Horn" [one of which has the original sponsor ads], two versions of "Trapped" [one of which has the original sponsor ads], two versions of "On Stage" [one of which has the original sponsor ads] & two versions of "Opportunity Knocks, But" pone of which has the original sponsor ads.]
Laserdisc: Attached to “Young At Heart”, “Here Comes The Bride”, “A Dog’s Life”, “Please Leave The Premises”, “Young Man With A Horn”, “Mama Loves Mambo”, “House Beautiful” (aka “Pardon My Glove”), “Head of The House” (aka “Ralph’s Big Mouth”), “Ralph Kramden, Hero At Large” (aka “Trapped”), “The Loudspeaker”, “On Stage”, “Opportunity Knocks, But” & “Unconventional Behavior.”
Air Date: Sat. 4/7/56

I find it strange that they did an Income Tax episode with over a week ago before Income Tax Day with a new episode airing the following week.

To do this episode review, I am going to cut and paste the script that I found on sitcomsonline.com.

Episode Number: 107 Season Number: 4 First Aired: April 7, 1956

(Frank’s note: Actually this is episode is either 121 or 136 depending on the fact that all of the lost episodes that were written in the Honeymooners Lost Episodes DVD Booklet.)

Writer: Marvin Marx, Walter Stone

Director: Frank Satenstein

Staring: Jackie Gleason (Ralph Kramden) Audrey Meadows (Alice Kramden), Art Carney (Ed Norton), Joyce Randolph (Trixie Norton)

Guest Star: Warren Parker (Richard Puder)

Joyce Randolph (Trixie) is not present in this episode.

Scene #1:
(The Kramden's apartment. Enter Ed Norton.)

NORTON
Hey, Ralph. Oh, Ralph, in there. Ralphie Boy!

(Alice enters from the bedroom.)

ALICE
Hi, Ed.

NORTON
Oh. Oh, hi, Alice.

ALICE
Ralph isn't home yet.

NORTON
Oh, he's not home yet? Well, I tell you what I came by to see him about. You remember that last year when Ralph had those three tickets... the four tickets it was- to the World Series?

ALICE
- Yeah.

NORTON
You know, you and him took Trixie and me to the game. We had a good time and everything. Well, I felt that it was just about my time to reciprocate, and, uh, and, uh, well, do you a good deed. I, uh, was just wondering if you'd like to join us Sunday. We're going to Madison Square Garden.

ALICE
Oh, Madison Square Garden. What's playing there now?

NORTON
The Antique Show. Boy, I'm telling you, and I was lucky to get the tickets, too. Just fortunately, there's a friend of mine that, uh, that's a scalper. You know, those... oh, those tickets are harder to get; they're scarcer than hen's teeth.

ALICE
But, Ed, the Antique Show? Since when did you become so interested in antiques?

(They both sit down at the table)

NORTON
Oh, I've been interested in antiques quite a while. Sort of a hobby, you know? It eh, I came across it accidentally. I was, uh... well, I'll tell you how it happened. I was in the market for a dog, see? So I was looking in the paper, I'd seen this ad:...For sale, genuine four-legged Chippendale... So I sent away for it. And it came back a table. That's how it happened. What do you say? You wanna jern us Sunday?

ALICE
Well thanks for the invitation, Ed, but I don't have to go to Madison Square Garden to look at antiques. (Looks around apartment.)

NORTON
Oh, I dig ya, I dig ya, Alice. I know just what you're talking about. Well, look, just don't take this antique business too lightly, because if you've got some real genuine antiques here, they could be worth a fortune. Say, as a matter of fact, I tell you what I'll do. (Stands up.) I'll just look around here, examine a few of these pieces, free of charge, and let you know. You may have something here worth a lot of money.

ALICE
Well, go ahead, Ed, if you want to, (Stands up) but I doubt you'll find anything around here that's worth any money.

NORTON
Well, you...Ooooh... Oh! (Looking towards the icebox) Wait a minute now. Let's take that icebox. That is a very interesting piece.

ALICE
Look, Ed, eh, while you're looking around, would you excuse me? I got some things to do in the bedroom.

NORTON
Go right ahead. I'll examine the icebox and I'll eh give you a complete detailed report- when I'm through.

ALICE
- All right. (Exits to the bedroom)

NORTON
Yep. (Walks over to icebox and taps the top a few times) Uh, Alice, I'm not quite sure, but this could be early Ma and Pa Kettle. Yes, sir. (Looks inside icebox) I...Say, this is very interesting. (pulls out a turkey and puts it on top of the icebox) Yeah. I, uh...(Grabs a leg and starts eating it) I'm looking underneath the icebox now, Alice. (Kicks it a few times) Mmm, now I'm looking in back of the icebox. (Kicks it again) I'm examining the legs now, Alice.

(Ralph walks in while Ed is eating a turkey leg from the icebox. Ed notices.)

Dum da dum dum…All I hope is, when they do my life on Dragnet, they leave my name out to protect the innocent.

RALPH
You put that turkey back or they'll be doing your life on Medic. Alice, I'm home!

ALICE
Be right out, Ralph.

RALPH
Heh, look at this.

NORTON
What?

RALPH
Boy, this kills me. Bills, bills, bills. Why doesn't anybody send me a letter or something? Ah, there's a relief. Postcard. Wonder who it's from. Pretty sneaky, the gas company, to a send a bill on the back of a postcard.

NORTON
Oh, boy, that ain’t the worst of it. Now everybody in the building Knows what you're paying for your gas bill.

RALPH
What are you talking about?

NORTON
Mrs. Schwartz, that blabbermouth, she looks at all the postcards, and then yakety-yak-yaks all over the building.

RALPH
- You're kidding?

NORTON
- I'm not kidding. I know how much your gas bill is. 93 cents.

RALPH
- That's right.

NORTON
- See? Oh, by the way, Ralph, congratulations on that 93-cent gas bill. Mrs. Schwartz told me that you broke the all-time low gas bill record, set by the Kalyer brothers in 1931.

(Alice enters from the bedroom)

ALICE
Hiya, Ralph. (They hug)

RALPH
Hiya, honey.

ALICE
Sit down, honey, and I'll have your dinner on the table right away.

(Ralph sits down and Ed sits on his right)

RALPH
All right. Norton, uh, don't you have to go upstairs and have supper?

NORTON
I already ate.

RALPH
Well, aren't you gonna be a little uncomfortable, sitting here, watching Alice aid I eat?

NORTON
Oh thank you, Ralph. If you put it that way, I'll be glad to stay. All right, Alice, I'll have a little order of spaghetti and meatballs, light on the marinara, heavy on the shoot one with a feather and hold the mayo!

RALPH
I thought you already ate.

NORTON
Well, let's face it, Ralph. Dizzy Dean warms up in the bullpen before the game, but he still pitches.

ALICE
There's plenty of food, Ralph.

RALPH
Hey.

NORTON
What?

RALPH
Here's a little letter. (Alice puts down food for Ralph and Ed) I've been waiting for this from the Bureau of Internal Revenue, the Tax Department.

ALICE
Oh, yeah, I noticed that when I was bringing the mail up today.

RALPH
Oh, why didn't you tell me it was here? I've been waiting for this. Do you know what this is? My tax refund.

(Alice sits down with her plate on Ralph's left)

NORTON
Hey, hey, hey, how much you getting back, Ralph?

RALPH
Well, the way I figured it out, about $42. And it couldn't have come at a better time. I'm gonna blow this whole thing on two glorious weeks. Vacation, fishing at Fred's Landing. Isn't that gonna be fun, hon? I hope we get that same tent we had last year.

ALICE
That ought to be easy. Tell ‘em we want the one with the snake in it.

RALPH
Norton, I'm telling ya, you should've been with us. You would've died laughing. I thought I was gonna kill myself laughing, watching her run away from that snake. Ho-ho.

ALICE
How could you watch me? You ran way ahead of me."

(Ed laughs.)

RALPH (yells)
SHUT UP AND EAT YOUR SPHAGETTI

(Ralph opens the letter.)

RALPH
There's a letter but no check.

ALICE
Well, what did it say Ralph?

RALPH
"Dear Mr. Kramden, please report to Mr. Richard Putter of our office at 10a of the 21st." Huh? I wonder what he wants to see me about."

ALICE
I don't know."

NORTON
I never got one of those

ALICE
Well, it's nothing to get upset about Ralph. Tomorrow is the 21st.You will find out then.

(Frank's note: This episode was shown on April 20, 1955.)

RALPH
(Looking worried) Guess you're right. There's nothing to worry about.

ALICE
No, honey. Come on, eat your supper.

RALPH
Couldn't be anything important.

ALICE
Mm, sure it isn't.

RALPH
(Slams the table with his hand) …WHAT could they want with me for?! …

(Stands up, stares at letter)

ALICE
Ralph, you're building this whole thing up in your mind. It's probably nothing.

RALPH
Probably nothing? Probably nothing?! Look, Alice, if it was nothing, they would've sent me a letter saying... Dear Mr. Kramden, don't come down tomorrow. What do you mean nothing? This isn't the Girl Scouts you know. They don't want me down there to buy cookies. This is the United States Government, the Treasury Department. They don't want me down there to shake hands with the Secretary of the Treasury.

NORTON
You got any ketchup, Ralph?

RALPH
Huh? Uh...(Goes to icebox and gets ketchup, puts it down next to Norton) (Looking at Alice) what could I have done that's wrong?

ALICE
Listen, Ralph, I don't like to say this, but if you did anything wrong; it's your own fault.

RALPH
What do you mean, it's my fault? How can it be my fault if I did something wrong?

ALICE
You shouldn't have made out your own tax, Ralph. I told you to go down to the barber shop and get somebody to do it who knows how.

RALPH
Are you gonna start with the... I told you so's... Alice?

NORTON
(Interrupting Ralph) Hey, you got any piccalilli or chow-chow or something like that?

RALPH
(Walks over to icebox and gets a jar and puts in down next to Norton) Is that what you're gonna start with, the... I told you so's? Don't give me any...I told you so's... now, cause they're not gonna help me.

ALICE
Listen, Ralph, probably the only thing you did was deduct something that you shouldn't have. So now you have to pay tax on that deduction. They're just gonna take the money out of your refund.

RALPH
Oh, is that all they’re gonna do? They're just gonna take it out of my refund? It so happens, Alice that I was planning on that refund in its entirety. I need all of the refund, all $42. I can't afford to let any of the forty two go. I got to go down to Fred's Landing. I need $42. What am I gonna do if I haven't got enough money?

ALICE
We'll just have to cut down, Ralph. Tell Fred to give us a cheaper tent with a smaller snake.

RALPH
Oh...

NORTON
(Interrupting again) Got any bread, Ralph?

RALPH
Yes. (pushes Norton) Will you stop with the bread?!

(Norton and Alice stand up)

NORTON
What did I do?! What, what?!

RALPH
What's the matter with you? Can't you realize I'm in serious trouble? The government is investigating me.

NORTON
So, they're investigating. What are you getting excited about? Be calm, will ya? Be calm.

ALICE
- He's right Ralph.

NORTON
Don't fly off the handle. That's not getting ya anyplace.

RALPH
Maybe you're right.

NORTON
Take first things first.

RALPH
Right, thank you.

(They all sit back down)

NORTON
Now, the first thing was, you was getting me some bread. Where is it?

RALPH
Now! All right, Alice. Get in the bedroom, Alice! Get in the bedroom, cause I'm gonna kill him.

ALICE
- Ralph.

RALPH
- When I finish with you, there’ll be piccalilli all over Bensonhurst.

(All standing back up again)

ALICE
Ralph!

RALPH
Don't... Ralph... me! What, are you sticking up for him? Don't you realize how serious this is? They're investigating me.

ALICE
Ralph, being investigated is not the end of the world. You are not the first person who was ever investigated.

NORTON
You're darn right, the jails are full of them.

RALPH
All right. Norton, I'm gonna count to five. And when I get to five, you'd better be out that door. Now I'm gonna count.

NORTON
I'm not scared of you. If you could count, they wouldn't be investigating your taxes.

RALPH
Get out!

(Norton exits quickly. End scene)

SCENE #2(Kramden apartment. Ralph alone at table looking at a paper)

RALPH
Eight and five are thirteen...Thirteen and six are nineteen. Nineteen and two are twenty-one. Twenty-one and five are twenty-six. Twenty-three and twenty-nine...

(Alice enters from bedroom in her robe)

ALICE
- It is 2:00. Ralph, will you come to bed?

RALPH
- Shh! Twenty-nine aid four is 33. It is 2:00. Thirty-three and 2:00 is a qua... Alice, what are you tying to do to me? What are you tying to do to me? Do you want to see me go to jail?

ALICE
Ralph, you're letting this thing get the best of you. Now, will you stop worrying? Whatever it is you did wrong, Ralph, you'll find out tomorrow. And losing a night's sleep is not gonna to help the matter any.

RALPH
Oh, (Stands up) I suppose getting a night's sleep is gonna fix everything up fine. Sure, I'll go down there tomorrow aid they'll say, Mr. Kramden, did you get a good night's sleep? And I'll say... Sure...They'll say... well, that's fine, let’s call off the investigation...They're not interested in sleep. Their job is taxes. They're not gonna send me to jail for insomnia.

ALICE
They're not gonna send you to jail, Ralph.

RALPH
Oh listen to Chief Justice Alice Kramden. Boy, you know a lot about a lot of things tonight, don't you? You know about taxes, you know about sleep, you know about jail. You ought to go on The $64,000 Question. That's what you ought to go on, The $64,000 Question. You know what your category is? Everything!

ALICE
Ralph, I'm gonna make you a glass of nice, warm milk now. Maybe it'll make you drowsy and help you relax and then you'll be able to go to sleep. You haven't even read the evening paper yet, Ralph. (Goes over to dresser and gets the newspaper and puts it down on the table) Here, now you just sit down and look at the paper, and just try and forget about this investigation for a while.

RALPH
All right, sweetheart. (Sits down)

ALICE
That's fine. (Pats Ralph's arm to comfort him)

RALPH
Just have to relax, that's all. (picks up paper and starts reading) Right. Here's an item. Says that they're building a new highway in Tibet.

ALICE
Oh, really?

RALPH
It's going all the way from Tibet to Mongolia. Says it'll cut five hours out of the trip for everybody that's going there.

ALICE
Oh. That's wonder...

RALPH
(Interrupts Alice, slaps table and stands up) What do they want me down there for?!

ALICE
Ralph, will you get a hold of yourself?

(Ed Norton enters)

RALPH
Don't.-

NORTON
Hey, what's going on down here? All you're yelling and everything, you woke me up!

ALICE
- Oh...

NORTON
- Boy, what a...

ALICE
Ralph's still very upset bout this tax business.

NORTON
Boy, I, I, I tell ya, I 'm surprised at you, Ralph, carrying on the way you...So what if they're investigating your taxes? What can they do to you? Can the put you up n front of a firing squad?

RALPH
No, they can't.

NORTON
Can they push you over a cliff?

RALPH
(Sits down) No, they can't.

NORTON
Can they string you up there at the end of a rope?

RALPH
No, I guess they can't.

NORTON
All right, then. Nothing can happen to you. What possibly can happen to you? What are you worried for?

ALICE
He's right, Ralph. Now come on, let's go to bed. (Exits to bedroom)

RALPH
(Stands up) Thanks, pal. (Shakes Norton's hand)

NORTON
All right, now, just go in there and get a good night's sleep.

RALPH
All right. (Exits to bedroom)

NORTON
(yelling into bedroom door) The worst thing they could possibly do to you is send you to the federal pen.

(Ralph enters from bedroom very excited)

RALPH
What are you starting with that stuff for?! Now, look, will you go upstairs? I gotta sit down and figure out what kind of a mistake I made. I gotta have some answers for them tomorrow when I go down there. (Picks up newspaper and slams it on the table) Highways with Tibet! (Sits at table)

NORTON
Look, uh...maybe I can give you a little hand in this? I majored in arithmetic in vocational school.

RALPH
All right; see what you can make of this thing. I'll take any kind of help.

NORTON
(Sits down on Ralph's right) Let me see the form here….Uh, what is this amount here? One...1053622?

RALPH
What amount? One 0... That's no amount. That's my social security number.

NORTON
I thought maybe it was your weight.

RALPH
Now, would you tell me why I'd put my weight down on an income tax report?

NORTON
How should I know? You're the one there being investigated.

RALPH
Wait a minute. Look. Maybe I made a mistake on one of these business deductions. Now, you listen and if you think that I'm entitled to what I deducted, you let me know.

NORTON
- Go ahead.

RALPH
- If not, let me know that, too. Now, I took off the cost of my cleaning the uniform...

NORTON
Right.

RALPH
My union dues, my driver's license. Now, I took off $80 I spent entertaining Freddy Muller, you know, every time there was an opening for traffic manager.

NORTON
Yeah. Yeah. That's all, they’re all legitimate. I take off the same kind of things on my income tax eh, I take off my union dues eh, deductible, and I take off when I have my rubber boots vulcanized, I take off when I have my lunch box water-proofed, and uh I take off 25% off my rent when I use my apartment for business reasons.

RALPH
Business reasons? You work in a sewer. What possible business could you conduct, could you possibly write off in your apartment?

NORTON
I practice in the bathtub.

RALPH
You practice in the bathtub, and they're investigating my taxes.

NORTON
Look, they're probably not interested or, or, or, or... don't believe your deductions. What they're looking for is items that you didn't put down on the form. Mainly, unreported income.

RALPH
What do you mean unreported income? I only work for the bus company. I don't have any other jobs.

NORTON
Well, uh little other things that you forget to put down. You know, like...you got a tax book here? (Shuffles around papers on table and picks up a booklet) Yeah, this thing. Wait a minute. Let me look. (Thumbs through it mumbling)

RALPH
Come on with that thing! Bla, bla, bla. Bla, blo.

NORTON
Here we are, here....Examples of income that must be reported: Eh, salaries... well, we know that's okay. Uh, did you have any income from annuities, rents, mortgages or chattels?

RALPH
Chattels? What's a chattel?

NORTON
I don't know, I guess it means; did you make any money selling livestock?

RALPH
How can you think that I made any money selling livestock?

NORTON
All right, all right, so far, so good. Now here's the next item...income from interest on loans, bonds or bank accounts...

RALPH
You have to pay a tax on interest of bank accounts?

NORTON
Oh, sure, of course. You got to pay a tax on everything. It's income. Get your bank book.

(Ralph stands up, goes to dresser and pulls out the bankbook. He sits back down while reading it)

RALPH
75 dollars.

NORTON
Income on interest, bank account, $75.

RALPH
That's not the interest, that's the bank account! Interest comes to about $2.25.

NORTON
$2.25. (Writes it down) Now... income from tips, gratuities or bonuses...

RALPH
We didn't get any bonus this year. The boss gave us all a skinny chicken.

NORTON
Well, you, uh, got any idea what the skinny chicken was worth?

RALPH
About... $2.00, I guess.

NORTON
(Writing) One skinny chicken...$2.00...Now, then, eh, next is item, income from gambling winnings...

RALPH
You mean to tell me they tax gambling winnings?

NORTON
Sure, its income, ain’t it?

RALPH
Lets see, I won about $25 throughout the year playing pool.

NORTON
(writing) ...$25, shooting pool...

RALPH
Then I got that first prize over at Salvatore's Pizzeria.

NORTON
Yeah.

RALPH
High score on a pinball machine. They gave me that horse with the stomach in its clock. I mean the clock in its stomach. Let's see...

NORTON
That's a_

RALPH
-That was worth about $15.

NORTON
(writing) ...Uh horse with clock in stomach......$15.00...well, you see, now, these are the items that they're checking up on you. There's no doubt about that.

RALPH
Then there was that uh... the $5 I won at the Raccoon picnic, wining the three-legged race.

NORTON
(writing) ...Three-legged race, $5...

RALPH
Hey, wait a minute.

NORTON
What?

RALPH
Remember about six mouths ago, we had the all-night poker game?

NORTON
- Yeah.

RALPH
- I won $85.

NORTON
Eighty five dollars?!

RALPH
You think they could have found out about that?

NORTON
Boy, that's a large amount of money. Now, that's the kind of an item they’re really investigating ya for... (writes) $85.00...

RALPH
What can they do for me...you know, what can they do to me if I don't put this stuff down in my income tax?

NORTON
I don't know, maybe it's, maybe it's in the book here someplace.

RALPH
Let me see the book…. (Grabs book and thumbs through it) Here it is.

NORTON
What?

RALPH
"Penalty for failing to report income: All persons are required under this title to pay an estimated tax, or tax, or are required by this title, or by regulations made under authority thereof to make a return, other than a return, required under authority of Section 6015 or Section 6016, keep any records or supply any information and who willfully fails to pay such estimated tax, or tax, make such return, keep such records, or supply such information…."

NORTON
Boy, Ralph, it sounds like you are in trouble.

RALPH
Trouble? I don't even know what I'm talking about! What am I gonna do, Norton?

NORTON
Hey, wait a minute! When you get down there tomorrow, I got the idea. Stand on the 18th Amendment.

(Ralph stares at Ed and stands up. Ed stands up with him)

RALPH
Are you nuts or something? Stand on the 18th Amendment? You mean stand on the Fifth Amendment. The 18th Amendment was for prohibition.

NORTON
Well, that's just what I mean. Tell them you were drunk when you made out your taxes.

RALPH
You know what this means, Don't you, Norton? (Pointing towards the door and up)

NORTON
- Oh, yeah.

RALPH
- You know what it means.

NORTON
Sure!

(Norton exits)

RALPH
I was drunk when I made out my income taxes.

(Sits at table and looks at papers)

(End scene)

SCENE #3
(Scene opens inside the IRS office. Ralph enters hesitantly with Norton right behind him)

RALPH
(Looking around) There's nobody here. Do you think maybe they forgot about it?

NORTON
They don't forget about nothing. Just, let's sit down, try to relax. Be calm, don't be nervous.

(They both sit.)

RALPH
I want you to know, I appreciate you coming down with me.

NORTON
Do you think for one minute that I'd let you come down here by yourself in the state that you're in? Now just try to relax, be-be –be calm. Don't be nervous.

RALPH
I've been thinking it over. What am I worried about? What have I got to worry about?- I'm an American citizen.

NORTON
- Yep.

RALPH
Got my rights, I'm a taxpayer.

NORTON
If you were a taxpayer, you wouldn't be down here right now.

RALPH
Well, I'm telling you this, if they get anything out of me, it's not gonna be out of me that they get it. Let him find out. I'm not telling him anything. He wants to find out anything, let him find it out. I'll be no help to him. Just keep calm and cool. Calm and cool.

(Enter Mr. Puder from an adjoining office left of set.)

MR. PUDER
Mr. Kramden.

(Ralph and Norton both jump up frightened)

RALPH
Hey, there!

MR. PUDER
Which one of you men is Mr. Kramden?

RALPH
Hamina hamina hamina

NORTON
Uh, he's Kramden. I'm clean.

RALPH
Norton...

MR. PUDER
Just step over here, Mr. Kramden. (Sits down at his desk, left of set. Ralph and Ed walk over and stand near desk) Here we are. Ralph Kramden. Now, Mr. Kramden? (looking at Ralph and Ed)

RALPH
Abla-bla-ble

MR. PUDER
What did you say?

NORTON
No, that's just his way of uh, remaining calm and cool.

RALPH
No, it's, uh... I didn't do it. I didn't do it!

MR. PUDER
I know you didn't. I know you didn't do it. That's why we called you down here.

RALPH
Huh?

MR. PUDER
Your signature, Mr. Kramden. You didn't sign your tax form. Now, all you have to do is sign it right here, and then you can go.

RALPH
You mean, all I have to do is sign this and...I can go out and go home and there's nothing else?

MR. PUDER
That's all, Mr. Kramden.

RALPH
(Looks at Norton) Oh, baby…. (Leans over and signs paper) There you are.

MR. PUDER
Thank you very much, Mr. Kramden.

RALPH
Thank you. Good-bye.

MR. PUDER
- Good-bye.

RALPH
- Good-bye. (Backing out)

NORTON
Come on, Ralph.

RALPH
Bye! Heeh-heeh-he-he…

(Ralph and Norton exit then re-enter)

RALPH
I gotta tell ya something, Mr. Puder. I didn't put everything down on my income tax. Not because I didn't want ta put it down, I just didn't know that I was supposed to put it down. On account, I didn't ever have any of those things that he told me about (pointing at Norton), that I have to put down. I wouldn't cheat the government.

MR. PUDER
Cheat the government?

RALPH
Well, I... certainly not, I wouldn't cheat ‘em. But I just didn't know about these deductions. You know, for instance, there was the horse with the clock in its stomach. There was the skinny chicken. And there was the three-legged race at the Raccoon picnic. I didn't put any of that down. But I want to put it down now and I want to pay tax on all of it: The horse and the picnic and everything.

MR. PUDER
Well, that's very honest of you, Mr. Kramden.

RALPH
Thank you.

NORTON
Uh - uh, sir? I'd like to make a confession at this time. Uh, a few little items that I didn't put down on-on my income tax form. During the past fiscal year, I found three dollars that was floating by me in the sewer.

(Ralph hits Norton)

MR. PUDER
I want to thank both of you gentlemen. Now, you can list your additional uh income on this form here. Mail it in to me and I'll see that it goes on your record. (Hands Ralph a form)

RALPH
- Thank you very much.

MR. PUDER
- And I want to thank both of you gentlemen for your honesty. Thank you.

NORTON
Thank you, sir.

(Ralph and Ed start walking toward the door. Norton opens it and walks out. Before Ralph leaves he turns around to address Mr. Puder.)

RALPH
Just like you to understand, that Ralph Kramden will never be accused of not putting a horse down with a clock in its stomach.

(Ralph exits and closes door. Camera pans over to Mr. Puder who looks confused.)

THE END

Credit for the script for the "Worry Wart" goes to sitcomsonline.com/honeymooners.

Credit I think goes to (the original) Bill's 'Mooners Archives, eBay.com, tv.com, Honeymooners Lost Episodes Book, tvguide.com, honeymooners.net, Honeymooners Lost Episodes DVD booklet, Wikipedia.org, Yahoo Groups You're A Riot! & Amazon.com. ]]> The Honeymooners Frank Gannucci https://sitcomsonline.com/boards/showthread.php?t=515706 <![CDATA[Honeymooners Episode Reviews: “House Beautiful” (aka “Pardon My Glove”) & more:]]> https://sitcomsonline.com/boards/showthread.php?t=515273&goto=newpost Fri, 10 Jul 2026 11:25:30 GMT Honeymooners Episode Reviews: “House Beautiful” (aka “Pardon My Glove”) & “Young Man With A Horn”:

Episode #133 (Syndicated episode #25)
TV: Half-hour.
VCR: Attached to "A Dog's Life." On some tapes, it’s attached to “Young Man With A Horn” & “Head of The House.” On some tapes, it’s attached to “Mama Loves Mambo”, “Alice & The Blonde”, “A Man’s Pride” & “The Babysitter.”
Laserdisc: Attached to “Young At Heart”, “Here Comes The Bride”, “A Dog’s Life”, “Please Leave The Premises”, “Young Man With A Horn”, “Mama Loves Mambo”, “Head of The House” (aka “Ralph’s Big Mouth”), “The Worry Wart”, Ralph Kramden, Hero At Large” (aka “Trapped”), “The Loudspeaker”, “On Stage”, “Opportunity Knocks, But” & “Unconventional Behavior.”
DVD: Attached to episodes #24 - #32 of the classic 39. The HD Blu-Ray set has the exact same episodes (including two versions of the following: "The $99,000 Answer" & "Here Comes The Bride" (in which one has the original ads) 60 Minutes Interview & outtakes (in which Jack talks about outtakes).
Air Date: Sat. 3/17/56

This episode has been re-titled and is now known as "House Beautiful" although it's still known as "Pardon My Glove."

This episode was colorized in 2023 and put on YouTube. It’s still there. Also, on a personal note, the colorized episode was uploaded during the same week that my family was throwing a surprise 75th birthday party for my Dad. You can’t make this up.

To see the finished script, click here: http://www.springfieldspringfield.co...episode=s04e24

The girls are discussing on what to do for Ralph's birthday. Alice wants to give Ralph a cake with "Happy Birthday Ralph" on it. She changes the flavor because the previous flavor is a flavor that he likes and she just got him a belt and she wants to make sure it fits. Trixie: "If it doesn't, you can always exchange it for bigger size." Alice: "There is no bigger size." Ha! They finish up the plans and the guest list. Trixie leaves. The boys come in from their Raccoon meeting. They play on eating the pizza pie they have with them. Ralph is apparently on a diet and Alice orders him to eat the salad that she made for him. Alice goes to bed as the boys eat. Ralph: "This is not a bad salad. Everything in this salad is good for you. Got carrots for your eyes. Beats for your blood. Lettuce for your teeth. Everything in here is good for you." Ed: "Poor little pizza. Ain't good for nothing." Ed is really enjoying the pizza pie. Ralph wants a teeney-wenney piece. Ed chops up a piece that is too small so Ralph asks for a bigger piece. Ed says that the bigger piece is an itsy-bitsy piece. Ed: "This is an itsy-bitsy piece and this is a teeney-wenney piece." The boys spot the guest list and the fact that Alice has not forgotten about Ralph's birthday and she's planning for a surprise party for him tomorrow night. Ed says that the bets way for him not to ruin the surprise party is to act surprised. Ed demonstrates in a very bad way that you can tell that his "surprise" is not real. Alice wakes up and Ed almost spills the beans.

The next morning, Alice is talking to Andre, the Interior Decorator at a department store. Trixie comes by and Alice offers the great news. Andre's Department Store is going to decorate the apartment for nothing and they will get free publicity in Sunday's paper. When Andre, the interior decorator came into the kitchen from the bedroom, you can see an empty ashtray and Andre holding his cigar. If you watch closely when Trixie is talking to Alice, you can see Andre holding his cigar until he reaches for his briefcase and the cigar is no longer in his hand--it's in the ashtray without seeing him reach in the ashtray to place it there. Andre is going to come by tonight to ask Alice on what they should do to the apartment and the following morning, while Ralph is gone, Andre and his workers will redecorate the place. Ralph is not supposed to know about this, so this will be a big surprise when he gets home tomorrow night (Alice has rescheduled the party for tomorrow night, unbeknownst to Ralph). Isn't this like TLC's, "While You Were Out" program? Andre and Trixie leave. Alice gets into the bedroom. Ralph comes home, expecting a surprise party, but doesn't get anything. He is upset. Alice comes out and says that she will go upstairs to Trixie's. Ralph: "I will be up there when you need me." Alice doesn't know what he's talking about. Ralph starts to sing "Happy Birthday" and when Ed comes down, he dances with him a little bit. Ed says that there is no surprise party upstairs and the fact that Ralph didn't get one tonight, maybe the surprise is that Ralph will get no party. Ralph (yells): "GET OUT!"

Later on, Ralph is still home. Alice is waiting for Andre to come and for Ralph to go bowling. Ed comes down too. Ralph and Ed spot a man's glove (Andre's) in the dresser, so naturally Ralph thinks that Alice is cheating on him. Alice comes out all dressed up. She sarcastically says that Winston Churchill came over when Ralph was gone and she couldn't greet Winny in just anything but she doesn't explain to Ralph why she is wearing it again. She leaves the room and when Ed spots Andre's cigarette; he says that Alice might be correct.

Later on that night, Alice is getting worried that Ralph will be here when Andre will get here and that he will be late for bowling. Ed comes down all ready to bowl but Ralph isn't. He says that his home is being broken up. So, they will trick Alice to say that they are leaving and they go outside on the fire escape, and surprise the suspected Gigolo. They, off course, forget their bowling balls, so Ed goes down to get them. A knock is heard and Ed, being scared, thinks that's the guy, and leaves the balls there. Alice says to Andre that she is coming. While no one is in the room, Ralph gets the bowling balls and hits his head on the window. Ralph is all mad as he is standing outside with Ed. Andre comes in. Alice doesn't notice that the bowling balls on the kitchen table are now gone. Andre wants to get his glove that he left here that Ralph has unbeknownst to Alice and Andre. After hearing that Alice saying that Ralph would make things difficult for him if he got some input on the new design of the place. Ralph still doesn't know that the place will be redecorated and when Alice knows that the glove that Andre left is missing, Ralph yells: "HA HA!" When Ralph says "HA HA!!" out on the fire escape his hand goes right through what is supposed to be glass on the kitchen window. He says that he will kill Andre. Andre cancels her plans to redecorate the place after hearing that Ralph will kill him (despite the fact that he has no proof that he's her husband) and leaves. Alice explains everything to Ralph and that Ralph has ruined it. Ed leaves. Ralph apologizes to Alice. Ralph & Alice hug and kiss.

Episode #134 (Syndicated episode #26)
TV: Half-hour.
VCR: Attached to "Ralph Kramden Inc." On some tapes, it’s attached to “House Beautiful” (aka “Pardon My Glove”) & “Ralph’s Big Mouth” (aka “Head of The House.”) On some tapes, it’s attached to “Dial J For Janitor”, “The Bensonhurst Bomber”, “Please Leave The Premises” & “Ralph’s Big Mouth” (aka “Head of The House.”)
Laserdisc: Attached to “Young At Heart”, “Here Comes The Bride”, “A Dog’s Life”, “Please Leave The Premises”, “House Beautiful” (aka “Pardon My Glove”), “Mama Loves Mambo”, “Head of The House” (aka “Ralph’s Big Mouth”), “The Worry Wart”, Ralph Kramden, Hero At Large” (aka “Trapped”), “The Loudspeaker”, “On Stage”, “Opportunity Knocks, But” & “Unconventional Behavior.”
DVD: Attached to episodes #24 - #32 of the classic 39. On the HD Blu Ray set it is attached to episodes #25-#33 of the Classic 39 (including two versions of "Pardon My Glove" [one of which has the original sponsor ads], two versions of "Trapped" [one of which has the original sponsor ads], two versions of "On Stage" [one of which has the original sponsor ads] & two versions of "Opportunity Knocks, But" [one of which has the original sponsor ads.]
Air Date: Sat. 3/24/56

To see the script for this episode, click here: http://www.springfieldspringfield.co...episode=s04e26

Alice is getting the laundry out to put on the clothesline. Ralph comes home, sees what Alice is doing and says that he will do it. Ed Norton comes down with some news. He's applying for another job. Ralph: "You already got a job." Ed: "Yeah, I know. Everyone thinks that working in the sewer is all glamorous." Ralph: "What job are you applying for?" Ed: "Sewer inspector." Alice comes out with Ralph's old Cornett. Ralph hasn't touched it in years and she wants to throw it away. Ralph: "I want to keep it." Alice: "All right Ralph, you haven't touched it in years." Ed: "He's got a point Alice. He hasn't touched his toes in years and he still wants to keep them." Ha! Ralph says that he has a lot of tender memories attached to the Cornett. The song in music notes is still with the Cornett. When he tries to play it, no sound comes out. Alice: "Not so loud Ralph, you might disturb the neighbors." Ralph pulls out a sock in the Cornett. Ralph: "What is a sock doing in my Cornett?" Alice: "It must be one of the tender memories that are attached to it." Ralph now tries to play the Cornett and he plays it so badly that Alice liked it better WITH the sock in it. Ralph wants to practice some more, so he asks Ed to bring the clothes on the clothesline. Ed leaves. Ralph says that he made a big mistake not practicing more with the Cornett. He might have become a big musician. A knock on the door is heard and it's an elderly couple by the name of Mr. & Mrs. Gunther. It's their 40th wedding anniversary and they used to live in this apartment. They are ecstatic to find out that the place hasn't changed a bit. They also ask if they can take a look around the place. Mr. Gunther's first name is August and Ralph realizes he's the man who makes the donuts that Ralph eats. Mr. Gunther then says a story that in this very room, he said he was going to be a success and nothing was going to stand in his way. He wrote down all his bad points and his strong points. He tried to eliminate all the bad points and strengthen the strong points and because of that, his life has been successful. Mr. & Mrs. Gunther leave. Ralph paces around the room. Alice: "Is this a private parade or can anybody march in it?" Ralph says that Mr. Gunther opened his eyes. He blames himself for not being a success. He is going to write down his bad points and build up strong points. He also says that the application that Norton gave him, he's applying for that job that the application is for. The scene ends with Ralph badly playing his Cornett.

The next day, Ralph is trying to write down his bad points and strong points with the Cornett on the table to remind him that he needs to do so. Alice helps out a little and Ed Norton comes down. Alice leaves. Ralph: "I'm writing down all my bad points." Ed: "Is that all the paper you're going to use?" Ralph says that the "old Ralph" would have gotten mad at that remark and threw Ed out, but not the "new Ralph." Ed helps Ralph by first writing his bad points which include: rotten pool player, rotten bowler, doesn't pay his dues and can't speak French. Ralph is not amused. Ralph: "You are not supposed to put something stupid down like 'can't speak French.'" Ed then asks Ralph if he can write down Ralph's good points since Ralph is having so much trouble. (According to Ralph, he has so many good points, that he doesn't know where to start.) It takes Ed 5 seconds to write down Ralph's good points which include: sweetest guy in the world. Ralph appreciates the comment. Ralph and Ed continue to write down the good and bad points.

The paper with Ralph's good and bad points are posted on the kitchen wall and Ralph has TONS more bad points then good ones. Alice talks to Trixie over how many more good things Ralph has done lately. He hasn't treated her like a work horse by doing the shopping and has insisted on making the beds. Alice: "What's wonderful is that he got me up very early so he could make them." Ralph comes home and compliments Trixie. Trixie is not used to the compliments. She leaves. Ralph has also corrected another fault which is argues too much. One of his co-workers said there are 9 million people in New York. Ralph thought the number is less. So he went up to him and said: "Oh yeah?" Alice says that there are 9 million people in New York (I'll bet that number has increased by now.) Ralph says: "Oh yeah?" Alice kisses Ralph for all the hard work he's been doing. Ralph filed that application that Ed gave him and says that both he and Norton took a test in order to get the job that they wanted on their respective applications. Ralph isn't sure that Ed passed after Ed gave a dumb answer to a question that said something like: "'If the gas and electricity went up by a certain amount, what would you do?' What do you think Norton put down: 'Pack up and move to Florida.'" Ralph goes into the bedroom. Ed comes in with some bad news. He didn't get the job as sewer inspector. He flushed out. Ralph didn't get the job he wanted. Ralph is informed of the news and says he failed again. Ed leaves. Ralph reviews what he went threw about changing his life. He said that it was a laugh. Alice disagrees. He says that the "new Ralph" has been doing a lot of good things. Alice: "If the 'old Ralph' comes back, I will hit him." Ralph is convinced. Ralph: "I did hit that high note once. The day I married you." They kiss as the episode ends. The "old Ralph" will never be seen again, or will he? In the next episodes, Ralph is back to his "old self."

When I first saw this episode, because of the way it ended, I thought that this was the final episode. It turns out that I was wrong.

During the curtain call, Jack plugs Buick.

Credit I think goes to (the original) Bill's 'Mooners Archives, eBay.com, tv.com, Honeymooners Lost Episodes Book, tvguide.com, honeymooners.net, Honeymooners Lost Episodes DVD booklet, Wikipedia.org, Yahoo Groups You're A Riot! & Amazon.com. ]]> The Honeymooners Frank Gannucci https://sitcomsonline.com/boards/showthread.php?t=515273 Catchy Comedy to show Honeymooners XMas Carol on 7/20 at 3a https://sitcomsonline.com/boards/showthread.php?t=515220&goto=newpost Thu, 09 Jul 2026 14:17:11 GMT I guess it’s part of a Christmas in July stunt. I will post my tv schedule. I guess it’s part of a Christmas in July stunt. I will post my tv schedule. ]]> The Honeymooners Frank Gannucci https://sitcomsonline.com/boards/showthread.php?t=515220 American Scene Magazine Episode 1 Now Available to Watch on Historicfilms.com https://sitcomsonline.com/boards/showthread.php?t=515180&goto=newpost Wed, 08 Jul 2026 21:18:02 GMT I think this episode is available elsewhere but maybe there's some differences.


Here's the link:

https://historicfilms.com/video/JG-1_20659_web.mp4


Hopefully they'll release more. ]]> The Honeymooners df17 https://sitcomsonline.com/boards/showthread.php?t=515180 <![CDATA[Honeymooners Episode Reviews: “Mama Loves Mambo” & “Please Leave The Premises”:]]> https://sitcomsonline.com/boards/showthread.php?t=514870&goto=newpost Fri, 03 Jul 2026 11:14:00 GMT Honeymooners Episode Reviews: “Mama Loves Mambo” & “Please Leave The Premises”:

Episode #131 (Syndicated episode #23)
TV: Half-hour.
VCR: Attached to "The Babysitter." On some tapes, it’s attached to “Here Comes The Bride” & “Please Leave The Premises.” On some tapes, it’s attached to “House Beautiful” (aka “Pardon My Glove”), “Alice & The Blonde”, “A Man’s Pride” & “The Babysitter.”
Laserdisc: Attached to “Young At Heart”, “Here Comes The Bride”, “A Dog’s Life”, “Please Leave The Premises”, “House Beautiful” (aka “Pardon My Glove”), “Young Man With A Horn”, “Head of The House” (aka “Ralph’s Big Mouth”), “The Worry Wart”, Ralph Kramden, Hero At Large” (aka “Trapped”), “The Loudspeaker”, “On Stage”, “Opportunity Knocks, But” & “Unconventional Behavior.”
DVD: Attached to episodes #17 - #24 of the Classic 39. On Fan Favorites: Best of The Honeymooners, it is attached to “TV or Not TV”, “Funny Money”, “The Golfer”, “The Sleepwalker”, “Better Living Through TV”, “The Man From Space” & “$99,000 Answer.” The HD Blu-Ray set has the exact same episodes as the SD DVD set and also includes two versions of $99,000 Answer (one that has the original sponsor materials), two versions of "A Dog's Life" (one that has the original sponsor materials), two versions of "Please Leave The Premises" (one that has the original sponsor materials), Jackie Gleason interview from 60 Minutes and outtakes from that interview.
Air Date: 3/3/56

To see the script of this episode, click here: http://www.springfieldspringfield.co...episode=s04e23

In the early 2000s, TV Land did a Thanksgiving marathon and they chose this episode to be a part of it. I am not sure this would qualify as a Thanksgiving episode since it aired AFTER Thanksgiving and there is no mention of the holiday, so...

Ralph overhears that a new neighbor has moved into the building. He has gray hair and is unmarried. Alice asks Ralph to deliver him some of the food that she made for him. Alice goes up with a basket to get the laundry. Ralph agrees and when Norton comes down, he hears about the unmarried old man that moved in next door. Ralph: "We should go over to his place and play games with him." Suddenly, the unmarried old man comes in and he doesn't look like he's as old as Ralph and Ed thought. The studio audience applauds because the actor that played him is named Charles Korvin. He says that is the guy who moved in next door. Ed: "He looks pretty well-preserved." His name is Carlos Sanchez and he needs to borrow a hammer. He also has a Latin accent. Carlos talks about how he met their wives. Carlos: "You must be Trixie's husband." Ed: "Yeah, I am and you better get to know her and me pretty good because we might be moving tomorrow." Carlos: "Trixie never said." Ed: "She doesn’t know it yet." The boys are acting jealous. Ralph and Ed discuss their jobs and the fact they work during the day. Carlos: "I'm a dancer. I work nights. So, I will be here all day." D'oh! Not something they wanted to hear. Alice asks Ralph to open the door. She's back with the laundry. Carlos offers to help Alice with the load. Alice: "Thank you Mr. Sanchez. I wish that there were more gentlemen around here (referring to Ralph & Ed.)" Ralph: "Wait a minute. How many times have I asked you not to take down a laundry basket that full? Next time, make two trips." Gee, that helps...NOT! If I had to get the laundry, I would try to take it all in one trip. Carlos asks Alice to start calling him Carlos. Ralph gives Carlos the hammer. Ralph: "If you don't mind, hasta-la-vista!" Carlos leaves. Alice: "Carlos is such a gentlemen." Ralph and Ed are mad. Ed says he will give Carlos Trixie's potato salad. Ed: "Before I had Trixie's cooking, I was a regular Clark Gable. So, this will fix his wagon." Gee, in "Peacemaker", Ed says that he loves Trixie's cooking. Ed: "Listen Ralph, as long as were neighbors, you don't have to call me Norton. Call me Edwardo." Ralph kicks him out. I can just picture Ralph yelling out the window: "EDWARDO! EDWARDO!"

The next day, while Ralph is at work, Carlos is busy teaching all the girls how to do the mambo. The record player is playing the record. I like the girls dancing. Mrs. Manicotti: "Carlos, do I have the hip movement?" She wiggles her hips. Carlos: "You do Mrs. Manicotti." Carlos puts on another record. They dance again. Ralph comes home, acknowledges everyone and then notices that Carlos is teaching them how to dance. Ralph (yells): "HOLD IT! WAIT A MINUTE! WAIT A MINUTE!" Ralph stops the record. Ralph: "Ooooooooooh Carlos was teaching you how to do the mambo. That puts a different light on things. For a minute there, I didn't know what you were doing. Now, I know that you girls were doing the mambo that makes a world of difference...." (yells): "EVERYBODY OUT!" Yeah, Ralph didn't embarrass anybody AT ALL. Mrs. Manicotti: "But Mr. Kramden, its fun." Ralph: "And you, at your age, should be ashamed of yourself." Alice calls it a day. Ralph (to Carlos): "As for you Rudy Valentino, out!" Alice is upset at Ralph. Ralph: "I come home after a hard day's work and you going like this." (Ralph wiggles his hips. Girls in the audience scream.) Ralph: "You want to wiggle? Wiggle over to the stove and get my supper." Ed comes down all steamed at Carlos too. Ralph & Alice continue their fight. Ralph says that Carlos is a troublemaker. Wow, he thinks that Carlos is a troublemaker? Alice: "Carlos teaches us like women. You have seem to forgotten that I'm a woman." Ralph: "How could I? You're always yappin'." Alice: "You wouldn't even think of tipping your hat." Ralph does that and orders Alice to make him dinner. Alice goes into the bedroom. Mr. Manicotti walks in. It's revealed that his first name is Bill. Bill: "That wife is driving me crazy. All she thinks about is mambo." He says that when she dances the mambo, she knocks off all the dishes on the table because of her size. Carlos walks in to take back his record player. Ralph and Ed voice their frustrations. Ralph: "You must have some nerve." The boys say that with Carlos' behavior, their lives are more miserable. Carlos says he will not be a pain anymore and asks if the girls want them to do simple gentlemanly things, why do they not do it. Ralph: "Because it's too much trouble." Carlos says that he thinks all wives are worth going through trouble for and if he was married, he will do gentlemanly things for her." Ralph feels remorseful. Ralph says that him, Ed & Bill have been taking their wives for granted and says that maybe we should talk to more unmarried people. Ralph: "Carlos, one thing. Could you teach me to mambo?" Carlos obliges and asks everybody to follow his lead. Ralph does, but then makes up several dance moves on the fly, thus making for one funny scene. One of my favorite scenes in this episode. Ralph would do this same dance again on the Honeymooners Valentine's Special in '78. This scene from this Classic 39 episode would be repeated on CNN'S Larry King Live special about The Honeymooners in 2002.

Sunday morning, Ralph is acting all gentlemanly, much to Alice's chagrin. Ralph: "We don't have to be at church until 11." He insists that Alice stay in bed and he will make her breakfast in bed, but he keeps asking Alice where some things to make the breakfast are. Alice ends up walking back and forth several times. Couldn't she just yell at him where they were? Alice says that she wants to have breakfast out in the kitchen. Ralph says that he will make the beds but asks where the sheets are. Alice shows him where they are. Trixie comes down all upset that Ed has been acting gentlemanly. Ed comes down all upset that he couldn't open the door for her, so they do it again. Alice greets them. Ed: "Mambo anyone?" Ed joins Ralph in the bedroom to join him in the manly errand of making the beds. He dances his way to the bedroom. The girls admitted that they asked for them to be gentlemen, and they boys are doing it. Trixie says that at 3am, Ed wanted to get something to drink, so he woke her up, just so he can tip his hat before he left the room. Sounds like he's trying too hard. The guys come out and Ralph serves the girls his sorry excuse for oatmeal. Gee, I wonder if Quaker Oats heard of this part of the episode. Ed admits that the oatmeal is awful looking and the girls agree. The girls ask for the boys to go back to the way they were and that they were the ones who were in the wrong. Alice: "I found out that I've been a pretty lucky girl. I married a man who's crazy about me." The boys go back to the way they were much to the girls delight. Ralph even says (yells): "LISTEN TO THIS! GET THIS THROUGH YOUR HEAD ALICE. I'M THE KING HERE. REMEMBER THAT! THIS HOUSE IS MY CASTLE. I'M THE KING. REMEMBER THAT! KING! KING! KING! YOU ARE NOTHING, A PHEASANT. THIS IS MY HOUSE. MY CASTLE. I'M THE KING." Alice laughs and Ralph is happy.

Episode #132 (Syndicated episode #24)
TV: Half-hour.
VCR: Attached to "The Safety Award."
Laserdisc: Attached to “Young At Heart”, “Here Comes The Bride”, “A Dog’s Life”, “Mama Loves Mambo”, “House Beautiful” (aka “Pardon My Glove”), Young Man With A Horn”, “Head of The House” (aka “Ralph’s Big Mouth”), “The Worry Wart”, Ralph Kramden, Hero At Large” (aka “Trapped”), “The Loudspeaker”, “On Stage”, “Opportunity Knocks, But” & “Unconventional Behavior.”
DVD: Attached to episodes #17 - #24 of the classic 39. The HD Blu-Ray set has the exact same episodes (including two versions of the following: "The $99,000 Answer" & "Here Comes The Bride" (in which one has the original ads) 60 Minutes Interview & outtakes (in which Jack talks about outtakes).
Air Date: 3/10/56

To see the finished script, click here: http://www.springfieldspringfield.co...episode=s04e24

Ralph is visiting the doctor. He's been flying off the hook over the slightest things. Alice explains that to Ed which Ed replies that Ralph has never been 100% in the laugh department. Ralph comes home. He is all happy. He says that from no on, he will not fly off the handle over the simple little things anymore. He read a poem which he claims will calm him down. The poem: "Pins and needles. Needles and pins. It's a happy man that grins." Ralph has been aggravated several times on the way home, but instead of getting angry, he said the poem. He goes into the bedroom. Mr. Johnson comes in with a notice saying that he will raise the rent by $5. His reason for the increase is in the note. Ed: "I knew this would happen as soon as the war ended." Ralph comes out and gets the notice. He goes back into the bedroom, while Ed says to Mr. Johnson that in a few seconds, Ralph will come out at ease about the rent increase. Ralph storms out and he's anything but happy about the increase. Ralph (yells): "YOU (Mr. Johnson) ARE NOT GETTING ONE MORE DIME FROM ME." Ralph is flying over the handle over a simple $5 rent increase. Ed: "Pins and needles. Needles and pins..." Ralph (yells to Ed): "SHUT UP!" Ralph argues some more with Mr. Johnson. They banter back and forth about the rent increase. Alice says that the rent increase is only $5. Ralph views that as a big thing. Ralph arguing about this seems a little extreme. Ralph says that Mr. Johnson is bluffing that if Ralph doesn't pay the increase him and Alice will be kicked out and if they barricade themselves in, they will have no heat, gas, water & electricity. Mr. Johnson says that he will and leaves. Ralph (in his mind) is now at war with the landlord and being "nice", he drags the Nortons into it too. Alice: "It's crazy Ralph." Both Alice and Ed recite Ralph's poem so they will calm down.

In the next scene, the front door is barricaded and Ralph and Alice are walking around with winter coats on, now they have no water, heat, gas and electricity. When CBS FOX Video released this on VHS, they say the Kramdens have no heat or water. It says nothing about the fact they have no gas or electricity which makes this episode much more of a surprise to the viewer who hasn't seen or heard anything about this episode other than by reading CBS FOX Video's description of it. Also for the first few seconds in this scene, there's a loud whistling noise that can be heard. Well, anyway the Kramdens are walking around. What is Ralph going to do as far as his job goes? Anyway, Ralph sits down. Alice: "Come on Ralph. Let's keep going. We'll make it easy for the men in the white coats to catch us." Ralph reminds Alice that this is war, WAR and it's going to be run like a war and he's the general and she's the private. Ralph: "You're a private. You got nothing to say." Gee, Ralph is making a big fuss about a $5 rent increase. With the rent increases of apartments today, I wonder what it would be like if the Kramdens lived in a more modern apartment and the rent increase would be bigger. Anyway, the Kramdens argue. Ralph wonders why Alice doesn’t get behind him since all the great men in history have had a woman behind them. Alice said that she would if there was more room for her to stand. A fat joke. Ralph says that he is fighting because in a few years, the rent will go up another $5 and in 20 years time, the rent will go up again by another $5. Alice: "Now I understand Ralph. I didn't know you wanted to live here for 20 years. Now I am in favor of not giving up. I rather freeze to death right now." A knock on the door is heard and Ralph thinks that it's Mr. Johnson. It's Norton. Ralph: "What is that idiot doing out of his apartment?" Alice: "What is this idiot (her or him) doing in this apartment?" Ralph removes the barricade and opens the door to let Norton in. Ed comes in with a BIG overcoat on along with a hat, and some goggles. He looks so ridiculous that the crowd laughs. Ed comes down to explain that the landlord and the sheriff were in his apartment (which also has no heat, water, gas or electricity thanks to Ralph because he dragged them in this fight) and they gave him a notice saying they will be kicked out if they don't pay the increase. Ed: "I guess that he (Mr. Johnson) is not bluffing." Ed says that he doesn't mind being deprived of no neat, gas, electricity, no good food and water but being locked up with Trixie for three days is more than he can stand. Ralph isn't giving up. Ed tries to get out, saying that since he paid the increase, he and Trixie are going out to get some steak. Ralph, being "nice", says that Ed is not going anywhere. According to Ralph, he's fighting for the Kramdens and Nortons. Ed tires to leave again, but to no avail. Mr. Johnson knocks on the door. He has the sheriff with him and orders Ralph to open up. Ralph doesn't listen. Mr. Johnson says to them to stay in there and that the sheriff is dispatching one of his men outside in the hallway and the minute Ralph opens the door, he will get slapped with an eviction notice. Mr. Johnson (yells): "...AND DON'T TRY TO USE THE FIRE ESCAPE. THE SHERRIFF WILL HAVE A MAN OUT THERE TOO." Ralph is scared now, but he denies it and says that the landlord is scared. Since Ed hasn't had a decent meal in three days, he wants some food, so Alice makes some supper for them. The supper: Celery sticks. Alice: "The supply boats couldn't make it through the blockade." Ralph isn't amused. Now he has an idea. He will take some sheets, tie them together to make a rope, drop the rope down the bedroom window, climb down the rope, go into a restaurant, buy some food and take the food back into the apartment. Alice: "Ralph, that sounds very dangerous." Question: How is Ralph going to carry the food and climb the "rope" at the same time? Ralph ties the sheets. Alice complains of being freezing, so Ed offers her his coat because he's suffocating. He takes off his coats, to reveal the fact that he has several hot water bottles attached to him. Ralph has just finished making his rope and asks Ed to carry out the task. Ed says no because he's scared of heights. Ralph: "All right yellow belly, I'll go." He ties the rope to the kitchen table and attempts to climb down only to fall down and somewhat take the kitchen table with him. Ed sees where Ralph fell and notices another one of the sheriff’s men. D'oh!

Ralph and Alice have been kicked out. Their furniture is all outside. I guess we are supposed to believe that Ralph weathered his fall to the ground and suffered NO INJURIES whatsoever. Ralph still won't quit but after it starts to snow and hearing that Alice is going to her mother's, he finally quits because of this. Ralph: "You know that I know how easy, you get virus." He says something like that. Alice isn't pleased about that statement as Ralph walks back into the building to get their apartment back. The camera zooms in on Alice as she says: "Pins and needles. Needles and pins. A happy woman is a woman who grins."

We later learn that apparently after all this, Ralph was somehow allowed back to live in the building. Also, somehow he kept his job after his self-imposed siege.

Credit I think goes to (the original) Bill's 'Mooners Archives, eBay.com, tv.com, Honeymooners Lost Episodes Book, tvguide.com, honeymooners.net, Honeymooners Lost Episodes DVD booklet, Wikipedia.org, Yahoo Groups You're A Riot! & Amazon.com. ]]> The Honeymooners Frank Gannucci https://sitcomsonline.com/boards/showthread.php?t=514870 <![CDATA[When and how did sitcoms evolve and move away from the "Honeymooners" format]]> https://sitcomsonline.com/boards/showthread.php?t=514865&goto=newpost Fri, 03 Jul 2026 06:10:24 GMT What I mean by Honeymooners-type of format is that the show was essentially a filmed play. This meant that the set was merely a backdrop for the drama being performed. That kind of makes sense... What I mean by Honeymooners-type of format is that the show was essentially a filmed play. This meant that the set was merely a backdrop for the drama being performed. That kind of makes sense since it was originally a recurring sketch on Cavalcade of Stars and The Jackie Gleason Show.

But did television networks and producers basically, stop making sitcoms (at least stylistic-wise) like The Honeymooners come the late 1950s and '60s? Was it mostly due as technology advanced and production evolved? ]]> The Honeymooners TMC https://sitcomsonline.com/boards/showthread.php?t=514865 A Honeymooners July 4th: https://sitcomsonline.com/boards/showthread.php?t=514738&goto=newpost Wed, 01 Jul 2026 13:22:39 GMT A Honeymooners July 4th: (The Kramdens are arguing.) Alice: “Ralph, it is ridiculous that your Raccoons are having a beer drinking contest this July 4th and you are entering it.” Ralph:... A Honeymooners July 4th:

(The Kramdens are arguing.)

Alice: “Ralph, it is ridiculous that your Raccoons are having a beer drinking contest this July 4th and you are entering it.”

Ralph: “Alice, I am telling you. I am going to enter that contest and win. I am going to win that prize of $250 bucks. I am doing it to honor this country’s 250th birthday. I know how to handle my liquor.”

Alice: “Oh you do? How about the time when you came home from a Raccoon meeting butt naked? I don’t think anyone here wanted to see a beached whale.”

Ralph (yells): “OH, YOU ARE A RIOT ALICE! A REGULAR RIOT! I AM ENTERING THE CONTEST AND I WILL PROVE YOU WRONG.”

(On July 4th, it’s time for the Raccoon Beer Drinking contest as the Raccoons are getting ready. It’s outside and the fireworks are starting up. They start drinking and eventually Ralph gets sick.)

(The following morning, the Nortons and Alice visit Ralph who is in jail.)

Ralph: “What happened?”

Alice: “Ralph, you embarrassed yourself as you were not only stopped drinking to strip yourself naked in front of a thousand people, you passed out and looked like a beached whale.”

(Ed laughs.)

Ralph (to Ed, yells): “SHUT UP!”

Ed: “I won the contest.”

(Ralph faints.)

(Jackie walks on stage. Crowd cheers.)

Jackie: “Thank you. Let me say that I am glad to be alive as this country celebrates its 250th birthday.”

(Crowd cheers.)

Jackie: “And the Miami Beach celebrations are the BEST! GOOD NIGHT!”

(Crowd cheers.) ]]> The Honeymooners Frank Gannucci https://sitcomsonline.com/boards/showthread.php?t=514738 <![CDATA[Honeymooners Episode Reviews: “A Dog’s Life” & “Here Comes The Bride”]]> https://sitcomsonline.com/boards/showthread.php?t=514428&goto=newpost Fri, 26 Jun 2026 11:33:00 GMT Honeymooners Episode Reviews: “A Dog’s Life” & “Here Comes The Bride” (aka “Ralph’s Big Mouth”):

Episode #129 (Syndicated episode #21)
TV: Half-hour.
VCR: Attached to "House Beautiful" (aka "Pardon My Glove.") On some tapes, it’s attached to “Ralph Kramden Inc.” & “Young At Heart.” On some tapes, it’s attached to “Opportunity Knocks, But”, “Brother Ralph” & “The Safety Award.”
Laserdisc: Attached to “Young At Heart”, “Here Comes The Bride”, “Mama Loves Mambo”, “Please Leave The Premises”, “House Beautiful” (aka “Pardon My Glove”), Young Man With A Horn”, “Head of The House” (aka “Ralph’s Big Mouth”), “The Worry Wart”, Ralph Kramden, Hero At Large” (aka “Trapped”), “The Loudspeaker”, “On Stage”, “Opportunity Knocks, But” & “Unconventional Behavior.”
DVD: Attached to episodes #16 - #24 of the Classic 39. On Fan Favorites: Best of The Honeymooners, it is attached to “TV or Not TV”, “Funny Money”, “The Golfer”, “The Sleepwalker”, “Better Living Through TV”, “The Man From Space” & “$99,000 Answer.” The HD Blu-Ray set has the exact same episodes (including two versions of the following: "The $99,000 Answer" & "Here Comes The Bride" (in which one has the original ads) 60 Minutes Interview & outtakes (in which Jack talks about outtakes).
Air Date: Sat. 2/18/56

To see the finished script, click here: http://www.springfieldspringfield.co...episode=s04e21

WPIX Program Director Julie O'Neil found the original master film of the 1970 fireplace of the Yule Log special in WPIX's film archives in Fort Lee, New Jersey. The master film was misfiled in a Honeymooners film can marked with the episode title “A Dog’s Life,” which led to the title of a 2006 40th anniversary special about the Log called A Log’s Life.

Alice wants to have a young puppy but she knows that Ralph won't allow it. That doesn't stop her though. She gets dog food for the dog. Ralph comes home and says he has another emergency lodge meeting tonight. Alice: "Do you realize that the Raccoons have more emergency meetings than the U.N.?" Ralph: "It turns out that we have more emergencies than the U.N." Sure. Ed comes in and says that they have another emergency meeting tonight. Alice: "I'm beginning to think that all those emergency meetings are nothing more than a poker game." Ed disagrees. Ed: "An executive meeting, that's a poker game." Gee, what executive meetings huh? Alice leaves, while Ed eats the bowl of dog food that is on the table. Ed doesn't notice that it is dog food. Ralph comes out and says something about his weight. Ralph: "Have you seen me when I weighed 165?" Ed: "No, Ralph I never did see your baby pictures." Ha! Ed raves more and more about the food and lets Ralph taste it. Ed says that Alice cooked it and everything Trixie makes comes out of a can. Ralph is convinced that he has found his latest million dollar idea. Uh oh! He will market that food in cans and he will get his boss to help him sell it. Ralph and Ed think of the name. It's called: Kran-Mar's Delicious Mystery Appetizer. Ed thinks that this idea will take the cake. Ralph: "It just goes to show what I have always said: ' Every dog has his day!'"

At the office, Ralph tells his boss, Mr. Marshall, that in his lunch box, he has a million dollars. Mr. Marshall: "Then you must have had a good day on the bus." Ha! Ralph brings out the food. Ralph: "This food will go great with O' Doofers (Hor D' Ourves mispronounced.) Mr. Marshall: "Hor D' Ourves!" Ralph: "They will go great with that too." Mr. Marshall tries it and likes it. He brings out his co-workers. One of them says: "There's something about the aroma that I recognize." Uh oh! Man: "Hey, this is dog food." Ha ha ha. Ralph says that he is nuts so they bring in Charlie (he raises dogs.) Charlie agrees. Ralph faints.

At home, Alice is holding the puppy that she just got. The puppy is cute. Trixie adores the puppy to (which is a he.) Trixie says that she would get a puppy just like him, if it wasn't for the fact that Ed is allergic to dogs. Wait a minute. In the episode titled: "The Sleepwalker", didn't Ed get a dog? He wasn't allergic to them then so why is he allergic to them now considering that that episode was shown three months ago? Trixie leaves as Alice puts the puppy in his box in the bedroom. Ed comes in and when he starts sneezing, Alice says that she just got a dog and she doesn't want Ralph to know now. Ed says that despite the allergy, he will hold the dog for a while before he gets dinner in his box. Ed: "Food in bed huh? Boy, talk about a dog's life." Alice leaves. Ed puts the food in the puppy's box but of course, Ed gets some of the food too. Ralph comes home in a rage and explains what happened to him at the office. Ralph: "How would you like it if you gave your boss dog food to eat?" Ed: "Terrible, unless he was a cocker spaniel." Ralph: "It was a miracle I wasn't fired." Ralph thinks that it was Alice's mother's fault for all of this but then realizes that Alice has a dog. Ralph: "That mutt is leaving." Ralph says that Alice can't have a dog because of the fact that Ralph will have to do all the dog-related work for it. One of the things he complains about is the fact that he thinks that he was to take him for a walk just before he goes to bed. Ralph takes the box along with the puppy in it to the dog pound. He leaves as Ed continues his feast of the dog food.

At the dog pound, Ralph surrenders the dog. He takes the puppy out and gives a speech about a nice owner will come along and take him to a better home etc. That's almost the same exact speech that he gave to the "baby" in "The Adoption." The puppy gets taken away. Ralph says to one of the people who work there (played by George Petrie.) He asks him if the dog he surrendered will get a new home. Man: "I hope so because after some dogs can stay for a certain number of days without being picked up and that's it. We already have some that are over the limit." Ralph: "What will happen if no one picks him up in those certain number of days?" Man: "Then they will be killed." I wonder if that really happens. We now learn that Ralph loves the dog after all. Ralph: "You mean to tell me that my dog is going to be killed?" Ralph charges into the room where his dog was placed in. Ralph (yells): "WAIT A MINUTE!" Alice comes in. She learned of Ralph surrendering the puppy and she wants to bring him back home again. Ralph comes out with not only her puppy but with all of the dogs that are over the limit. Ralph: "I fell in love with your puppy." They leave with the dogs in tow. But, the dogs aren't seen again for the rest of the series, much like some of the other things that the Kramdens got, like TVs for instance.

During the curtain call on the sponsor materials version on the Blu Ray, Jack plugs Buick.

Episode #130 (Syndicated episode #22)
TV: Half-hour.
VCR: Attached to "Head of The House" (aka "Ralph's Big Mouth".) On some tapes, it’s attached to “Mana Loves Mambo” & “Please Leave The Premises.” On some tapes, it’s attached to “Hello Mom”, “A Matter of Record”, “‘Twas The Night Before XMas” & “A Woman’s Work Is Never Done.”
Laserdisc: Attached to “A Dog’s Life”, “Young At Heart”, “Mama Loves Mambo”, “Please Leave The Premises”, “House Beautiful” (aka “Pardon My Glove”), Young Man With A Horn”, “Head of The House” (aka “Ralph’s Big Mouth”), “The Worry Wart”, Ralph Kramden, Hero At Large” (aka “Trapped”), “The Loudspeaker”, “On Stage”, “Opportunity Knocks, But” & “Unconventional Behavior.”
DVD: Attached to episodes #16 - #24 of the Classic 39. On Fan Favorites: Best of The Honeymooners, it is attached to “TV or Not TV”, “Funny Money”, “The Golfer”, “The Sleepwalker”, “Better Living Through TV”, “The Man From Space” & “$99,000 Answer.” The HD Blu-Ray set has the exact same episodes (including two versions of the following: "The $99,000 Answer" & "Here Comes The Bride" (in which one has the original ads) 60 Minutes Interview & outtakes (in which Jack talks about outtakes).
Air Date: 2/25/56

To see the finished script, click here: http://www.springfieldspringfield.co...episode=s04e22

At the Raccoon dinner, everybody is celebrating the fact that Brother Stanley Saxon is getting married but of course, everyone is saying that this is a bad thing in Stanley's life. Ed: "Stanley, if I were you I would get out of town tonight." Ralph says a few words. He says he feels responsible because he's the one who got Stanley and his fiancée Agnes (Alice's sister) together. Now Stanley has to deal with Ralph's mother-in-law as well as Ralph. Stanley is taking all of this in stride. Not only that, but he thinks that everybody is kidding. The dinner ends. Ralph & Ed talk to Stanley. Stanley says he's moving into Agnes' mother's house. Ralph: "You can't do that Stanley. You will be making the biggest mistake of your life. After me and Alice got married, I had to move in with her mother. Those were the most miserable years of my life." Stanley: "I don't want to argue with her." Ed: "Then why are you getting married?" Stanley says that Agnes parents are nice people. Ralph disagrees of course and makes reference to Koloff being on The Red Skelton Show. Ralph: "This is the 20th century." When this episode was made, it was the 20th century. Now it's the 21st century of course. Ralph says that a husband's home is his castle and that a man is king of the castle and he makes all the orders that he likes and when Agnes insists to move in with her mother, he should say no." Ralph says that he will see Stanley at the wedding tomorrow. They leave.

The next night after the wedding, the Kramdens return home. Garrity takes one look at Ralph and laughs. Ralph: "Go ahead Garrity laugh. For your information, I did not get this outfit from an undertaker." Ralph emerges into the house with a black tuxedo and hat. Ralph and Alice talk about what a cute couple Stanley and Agnes made. Alice: "Agnes had plenty of chances. Stanley wasn't the only one. There were other people who wanted her to get married." Ralph: "I can name three myself. Her parents and the caterer." Ralph says he will go to sleep and asks Alice to take the tux down to the place where he rented it tomorrow before noon because if it arrives one second later than noon, he has to pay extra money. Ralph tries to go to sleep. A knock on the door is heard and it's Agnes who's crying. Agnes (yells): "STANLEY IS A BEAST! HE'S A BEAST!" Ralph overhears that they got into a fight. Agnes said that after the wedding, he just changed. She says all the things that Ralph told him (without mentioning Ralph's name) and Ralph hears it. Ralph doesn't want Agnes sleeping over and for him to sleep in the kitchen. Alice & Ralph agree to go over to Stanley's and ask him what made him change his mind. Ralph changes his mind (of course, he doesn't want Alice to know that he is the guilty one.) Ralph asks Alice to go to bed. Ralph sleeps the best way he can in the kitchen. Ralph: "I have a BIG mouth."

The next morning, Ralph wakes up. Thinking he's sleeping on the bed, he says: "We got to do something about this mattress Alice. It's murder." In his half-consciousness, he walks out of the apartment and falls down the stairs. Ralph comes back into the apartment and realizes where he's been sleeping and that Agnes is still in their home. Ed comes in and when he hears that Agnes is sleeping over, he says: "This is the first time that I ever heard of a couple taking separate honeymoons." Ralph tells him what's going on. Alice comes out and says that Agnes doesn't plan on leaving anytime soon. She is also very upset, so she asks them to not say anything about the marriage. Ed (seeing Agnes in Alice's clothes): "I haven't seen you since the wedding. How are you?" Agnes cries and goes back into the bedroom. Ed wonders why Stanley has been acting the way he has been and when Ralph thinks that he's about to bring up the fact that Ralph told him all those things, he asks Ed to go home. Ralph and Alice concoct a plan. They will invite Stanley over for dinner and Stanley and Agnes will witness Ralph boss around Alice, that way they will get back together. Alice goes along. Just as when Ralph thinks that Ed will spill the beans about Ralph giving Stanley the information, he kicks him out.

While Ralph is not at home, Stanley arrives. Stanley and Agnes embrace. Agnes says that she's at fault. Stanley disagrees. Stanley: "It was my fault darling one. I should have never listened to Ralph." Stanley blabs the information that Ralph told him that eventually caused the marriage to break up. Alice is steaming mad. Alice: "How dare Ralph interfere like that." Ralph comes home and bosses around Alice. It all falls on deaf ears. Ed comes down and tells a story on how Trixie can't go to the movies because he said so. The newlyweds leave in happiness. Ed: "Ralph, I had no idea it worked so fast." Ed leaves. Ralph apologizes for interfering in their marriage and if anybody tried to tell him how to run his marriage, they will get hurt. Alice accepts his apology. They hug and kiss.

On the sponsor materials version, at the end, Jack plugs Buick.

Check this out from the old Honeymooners Message Board Section on imdb.com. Someone posted this:

"This episode bothered me for the fact that everyone in it other than Norton behaved worse than Ralph. Ralph's advice was well-meaning and although he went over the top with his king of the castle rant, the gist of what he was saying, that A) staying with in-laws after you are married (especially HIS mother in law) is a bad idea, and B) the man has a voice in the marriage also, was correct. He didn't intend on wrecking their marriage, he was just trying to give Stanley some cojones which Stanley clearly lacked.

It's obvious that Agnes was bullying Stanley the entire time they were together, and now Stanley stands up for himself for the first time and she runs away crying that he's a beast. Instead of crying to mommy which is where she wanted to stay anyway, she imposes herself on Ralph and Alice in their cramped apartment. And Alice, after marginal convincing from Agnes, agrees to let her sleep in the bed, forcing Ralph to spend the night on a wooden chair!!! What an inconsiderate bitch. And the only solution she can think of is to talk to Stanley???!!!! Why doesn't she stand up for her husband and insist that as sorry as she is that their marriage fell apart there's no space in the apartment for her sister's freeloading ass?

And then Stanley, who spent an entire relationship's time being estrogen-whipped until Ralph gave him some confidence, caves in to his whiny bratty wife and snitches on Ralph to Alice!!! Isn't that a violation of Raccoon lodge code? Yeah Ralph gave him the advice but he chose to follow it, and instead of owning up to his "mistake" (although personally I'd say that was the wisest thing he ever did and his apology was unnecessary, she was already throwing herself at him) he turns around and says Ralph put him up to it which proves him to be every bit as weak-minded as we all suspected him to be from the beginning. He must not have had much going for him because he and control-freak Agnes clearly married each other out of desperation. Ralph alluded to that with his comment about Agnes practicing to be a bride for 20 years. Even Alice made subtle hints about her failures at keeping a man with her comment about her waiting for the right fella to come along. Yeah, the right fella for Agnes was someone as feeble as Stanley who would swallow all of her *beep* whole. Any man with any self-respect says "bye, bitch!" to Agnes fairly soon.

To top it all off, Agnes calls Ralph a troublemaker right in front of him when he arrives home from work. Uh, bitch, this is the same troublemaker who let you sleep in his bed the night before at the expense of his back, which has been known to be somewhat of a liability. Agnes should have been slapped.

The moral of every episode is that Ralph is in the wrong. However in this episode Ralph did nothing wrong, and although his advice did not work the way it was intended he was treated very unfairly."

Credit I think goes to (the original) Bill's 'Mooners Archives, eBay.com, tv.com, Honeymooners Lost Episodes Book, tvguide.com, honeymooners.net, Honeymooners Lost Episodes DVD booklet, Wikipedia.org, Yahoo Groups You're A Riot! & Amazon.com. ]]> The Honeymooners Frank Gannucci https://sitcomsonline.com/boards/showthread.php?t=514428 <![CDATA[The death of "Honeymooners" star Jackie Gleason in 1987 | This Week in History]]> https://sitcomsonline.com/boards/showthread.php?t=514331&goto=newpost Wed, 24 Jun 2026 22:13:44 GMT f2auLmfE-b8 ---Quote--- This Week in History in 1987, we said goodbye to funnyman Jackie Gleason (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jackie_Gleason). Bill Beutel anchors Eyewitness News coverage... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f2auLmfE-b8

Quote:
This Week in History in 1987, we said goodbye to funnyman Jackie Gleason. Bill Beutel anchors Eyewitness News coverage from the 6 p.m. newscast of June 25, 1987.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XT7XufTcPdk

Quote:
Relive the June 25, 1987 broadcast of NBC’s Today as seen in Miami on WSVN, featuring breaking coverage of Jackie Gleason’s death, tributes and interviews with June Taylor and director Hal Needham, plus major headlines including Iran-Contra (Oliver North), the Hamadi extradition dispute with West Germany (Attorney General Edwin Meese), Vatican controversy over Kurt Waldheim, Tom Hanks promoting Dragnet, and classic 1987 South Florida news, weather, and commercials. Maria Shriver sits in for Jane Pauley.
  • 00:00:00 Sea World ad
  • 00:00:10 Aaron Rents / Aaron Sells Furniture ad
  • 00:00:37 Weight Watchers ad with Lynn Redgrave
  • 00:01:08 Moody Honda ad
  • 00:01:40 WSVN "Greengrocer" segment
  • 00:03:24 Sheehan Pontiac ad
  • 00:03:54 Metropolitan Mortgage ad
  • 00:04:28 Today Show segment 1
  • 00:07:57 Other news
  • 00:12:06 Willard Scott national weather
  • 00:14:21 June Taylor remembers Gleason
  • 00:18:40 Station bumper and commercials
  • 00:20:53 Meese on Hamadi extradition
  • 00:26:16 Commercials and local TV promos
  • 00:29:28 WSVN update: Castro speech reaction
  • 00:33:06 South Florida weather update
  • 00:34:25 Today Show next-hour preview
  • 00:35:29 News recap: Gleason and world
  • 00:38:46 Commercial break
  • 00:43:39 Tom Hanks talks Dragnet movie
  • 00:49:02 Commercial break
  • 00:51:03 Hal Needham on Gleason
  • 00:55:33 Tease: Gleason and Cosby
  • 00:56:33 Gleason and Cosby sitcom talk
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8adHZ06Gd5E

Quote:
From June 25, 1987, here is a Headline News story on the death of icon Jackie Gleason.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D0GIf4ghKK4

Quote:
This retrospective examines the career of the celebrated actor and musician, highlighting iconic television roles and behind-the-scenes insights into their creative process. The tribute also features reflections on their impact on American entertainment.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e9BIgDcnxjU

Quote:
Art Carney on WCBS TV (6:00 News) recalling his days with The Great One. June 25, 1987. With Jim Jensen and Michelle Marsh.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MgBNGsMRIG0

Quote:
The CBS News with Dan Rather June 25, 1987. How sweet it is.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z2hMYMaMbKc

Quote:
June 25, 1987 broadcast.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ri53NyyerBA

Quote:
Jackie Gleason Obituary

6/25/87
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iK2nSZxMXYc

Quote:
Audrey Meadows reflects on the enduring legacy of The Honeymooners, sharing nostalgic memories of the iconic set and the brilliant comedic partnership shared with Jackie Gleason. This touching tribute explores the immense talent and personality of an unforgettable entertainer whose influence continues to resonate throughout the world of television comedy.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=quF9K9P6_EM

Quote:
Jackie Gleason died in 1987. WGBS "Philly 57" had a tribute to him shortly after his death. On Sunday July 12, 1987, the "tribute" was a 4-hour marathon of "The Honeymooners". At the time, "Philly 57" carried "The Honeymooners" every weeknight at 11 PM. Video clip recorded in Hazlet, NJ (Monmouth County).
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=40BW5IS3HRw

Quote:
Today, we explore Jackie Gleason’s final years: 1984, 1985, 1986, and 1987. From lost episodes of The Honeymooners to Izzy and Moe, appearances with Johnny Carson and Tom Hanks, and even MasterCharge commercials, Gleason’s last decade was full of surprises. Join me as we celebrate how Jackie went out with a bang—and visit his grave to remember the legend behind the laughs.
]]> The Honeymooners TMC https://sitcomsonline.com/boards/showthread.php?t=514331 Nobody Noticed This HONEYMOONERS Silly Mistake While Watching This Episode! https://sitcomsonline.com/boards/showthread.php?t=514282&goto=newpost Wed, 24 Jun 2026 00:29:59 GMT C_SnFPGdmDU https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C_SnFPGdmDU ]]> The Honeymooners TMC https://sitcomsonline.com/boards/showthread.php?t=514282 Honeymooners! Jackie BROKE the Gadget During FILMING And Nobody Noticed! https://sitcomsonline.com/boards/showthread.php?t=514209&goto=newpost Tue, 23 Jun 2026 00:09:36 GMT 04VKLwGTW6k ---Quote--- Rick Nineg explores the seventh episode of The Honeymooners, Better Living Through TV. This analysis examines production details, including set markers and unscripted... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=04VKLwGTW6k

Quote:
Rick Nineg explores the seventh episode of The Honeymooners, Better Living Through TV. This analysis examines production details, including set markers and unscripted moments that occurred while filming this classic television installment.
]]> The Honeymooners TMC https://sitcomsonline.com/boards/showthread.php?t=514209 <![CDATA[Honeymooners Episode Reviews “Ralph Kramden Inc.” & “Young At Heart”:]]> https://sitcomsonline.com/boards/showthread.php?t=514031&goto=newpost Fri, 19 Jun 2026 11:37:34 GMT Honeymooners Episode Reviews “Ralph Kramden Inc.” & “Young At Heart”:

Episode #127 (Syndicated episode #19)
TV: Half-hour.
VCR: Attached to "Young Man With A Horn." On some tapes, it’s attached to “Young At Heart” & “A Dog’s Life.” On some tapes, it’s attached to “Funny Money”, “The Worry Wart” & “$99,000 Answer.”
Laserdisc: Attached to “Oh My Aching Back”, “The Babysitter”, “$99,000 Answer”, “A Matter of Record.”, “The Safety Award”, “Mind Your Own Business” (aka “Ralph’s Big Mouth”), “Alice & The Blonde”, “The Bensonhurst Bomber”, “Dial J For Janitor” & “A Man’s Pride.”
DVD: Attached to episodes #17-24 of the classic 39. The HD Blu-Ray set has the exact same episodes (including two versions of the following: "The $99,000 Answer", "A Dog's Life" & "Here Comes The Bride" (in which one has the original ads) 60 Minutes Interview & outtakes (in which Jack talks about outtakes).
Air Date: Sat. 1/28/56

To see the finished script, click here: http://www.springfieldspringfield.co...episode=s04e19 ;

Ralph and Ed meet in Central Park. Ed has a new hobby, he's a bird-watcher. Ralph: "The only bird that watches you is a hawk." Ralph accidentally gave a woman a $20 bill instead of a $5. So he asks Ed to loan him some money. Ed would be glad too but Ralph never pays him back. Ralph thinks of an idea of making a "corporation." Ed goes along with the idea. Ed is the chairman of the board, while Ralph is the boss. Ed claims that he saw a Yellow-Bellied Sapsucker bird. Ralph says that at this time of year, they should be very far, far away from here. Ed says that the bird had a yellow belly and was sucking sap. So he says in his notebook that he saw the bird in New Mexico.

A week later, Alice burns her finger on the stove. Ralph: "If you are not burning yourself, it's my food." Alice says that she can't make Ralph dinner now, so Ralph settles for a peanut butter sandwich. Ed comes in and says that it was been a week and he says that Ralph said to him that every time he turned around, he was going to make money (which he hasn't.) Ed: "You certainly have not been a pinwheel." Ed is hungry but when he notices that Ralph doesn't have any food that he likes, he asks if the peanut butter that Ralph is using is crunchy. Ralph: "Yes, it is and I will prove it to you. When this jar hits your head, you will hear a CRUNCH!" A man walks in with news. He knew an old lady that used to go on Ralph's bus. SH has died. Ralph is saddened, but when he hears that that old lady named Mrs. Monohan had $40,000,000 and she had asked Ralph to come hear the reading of her will and she had lent Ralph something big for him to claim, Ralph is so happy that he faints. Of course, he thinks he's going to get the $40,000,000.

The day of the will reading, Ralph is happy. He thinks he's going to get the $40,000,000. Alice says that Ralph shouldn't get his hopes up and that he might not get the $40,000,000. Ralph says that the old lady liked him a lot. Alice says that some of that money should go to Norton since they formed a "corporation." Ralph says that he will take care of him. He claims that if Norton would get his hands on a big amount of money, that he will neglect Trixie and that he won't allow that to happen. Oh boy! Ed comes down with a suitcase and says when he gets his hands on his share of the money (35%), he will take Trixie on a honeymoon and they won't hitchhike this time. Hitchhiking on a honeymoon, huh? I'll bet any person would be too happy about that. Ralph tries to of course, cheat Norton out of his share by first asking Norton to make sure that suitcase would hold the money by cutting up pieces of paper that will resemble 40,000,000. Ed shows that it does. He cut up pieces of paper in the shape of 40,000,000 dollar bills. Ralph then tires to cheat Norton by saying that after he gets his 35% of the money, he will get literally nothing after taxes. Ed doesn't mind.

At the old lady's home, the maid asks Fortune the bird to eat his breakfast. The bird won't. He is upset about Mrs. Monohan dying. Ralph and Norton arrive and the will reading begins. Ed claps after hearing one person getting something from the will. (He picked it up by watching the quiz shows.) When Ralph hears that he will get her fortune, he naturally thinks that he will get the money, but is upset that he will get her pet bird. Both Ralph and Norton faint. Of course, Ed says that he owns 35% of the bird before he faints.

Episode #128 (Syndicated episode #20)
TV: Half-hour.
VCR: Attached to "'Twas The Night Before Christmas." On some tapes, it’s attached to “Ralph Kramden Inc.” & “A Dog’s Life.” On some tapes, it’s attached to “The Golfer”, “TV or Not TV”, “Better Living Through TV” & “Oh My Aching Back.”
Laserdisc: Attached to “A Dog’s Life”, “Here Comes The Bride”, “Mama Loves Mambo”, “Please Leave The Premises”, “House Beautiful” (aka “Pardon My Glove”), Young Man With A Horn”, “Head of The House” (aka “Ralph’s Big Mouth”), “The Worry Wart”, Ralph Kramden, Hero At Large” (aka “Trapped”), “The Loudspeaker”, “On Stage”, “Opportunity Knocks, But” & “Unconventional Behavior.”
DVD: Attached to episodes #16 - #24 of the Classic 39. On Fan Favorites: Best of The Honeymooners, it is attached to “TV or Not TV”, “Funny Money”, “The Golfer”, “The Sleepwalker”, “Better Living Through TV”, “The Man From Space” & “$99,000 Answer.” The HD Blu-Ray set has the exact same episodes (including two versions of the following: "The $99,000 Answer", "A Dog's Life" & "Here Comes The Bride" (in which one has the original ads) 60 Minutes Interview & outtakes (in which Jack talks about outtakes).
Air Date: Sat. 2/11/56

To see the finished script, click here: http://www.springfieldspringfield.co...episode=s04e20 ;

For this episode, I think you can tell that there are a lot of young people in the studio audience.

A young girl named "Judy Conners comes up to visit Alice. Judy Conners looks like she is in her teens. She has a boyfriend named Wallace, who she calls Atomic Passion. She asks if Wallace can come up here so she can visit him and go out on a date. He hasn't met her dad and she doesn't want to take any chances. On their date, they are going to Coney Island and go to places like The Crazy House and The Tunnel of Love, go dancing, and go roller skating. Judy says this about a past boyfriend of hers. Judy: "Freddie was so 'icky.' He was a termite strictly out of the woods." Alice complies with her request. Judy leaves. Ralph comes home and Alice and he talk about him and her doing the same thing everyday. She wants to go roller skating. Ralph complies, but realizes what she asked. Alice says she wants to do the things that young people do. Alice: "That is what keeps you young." Ralph: "My youth has passed. The Golden Years are gone. We have hit the second plateau" Alice still wants to do the things that young people do. Alice: "How can you be so 'icky'? You are a termite Ralph. Strictly out of the woods." Judy said almost the same thing about a past boyfriend of hers named Freddie, I think when she talked to Alice. Alice goes into the bedroom. Ed Norton comes in. Ralph talks to him about the places that Alice wants to visit, namely the Tunnel of Love at Coney Island. Ed says that that place is terrible because he had to fix a leak under there. Ha! Wallace comes in. I think the guy that played him is George Burns' son, Ronald John Burns. He gets an ovation from the studio audience. The clothing that he is wearing for going out is SO outdated now. If a person his age were to walk in to high school wearing those pieces of clothing, he would probably get laughed at. Wallace: "I'm here to pick up Angel Cake (Judy)." Wallace tries to talk to Ralph & Ed. He says: "I got a frantic hot rod that is ready to percolate" Ralph: "Frantic hot rod that's ready to percolate" Wallace: "Aren't you hip? Don't you dig?" Ed: "I'm the one who digs. I work in the sewer." Alice hears him and tries to bring up Judy. Alice explains to Ralph about the situation while Wallace does the "Apple" dance. Judy comes up and the date for them is on. They leave. Ed talks about him being young. Ed: "As time wore on, I grew older and matured." Ralph: "Yeah, now you are a full-grown nut." Ralph then talks about all the young things that Alice wants to do and makes fun of her because she is so old. Alice gets the message and says she will never talk about it again in a very stern voice. Ralph is remorseful and says to Ed that from now on, he will do the things young people do. He says that from now on, he will say things that young people say. The things that he says are SO outdated. Ed: "How could anybody so round, be so square?"

The next day, Ed shows up with a phonograph and Ralph comes out with a costume that is crazy. The costume is funny. Anybody should look at it and when they do, they might get a chuckle. Ed: "Let me some time to drink this whole thing in. It's like seeing Boulder Dam for the first time." The first record they put on is "The Hucklebuck." Ed plays it and starts to dance. The lyrics go something like: "Here's a dance you should love..." The original version of this song was actually sung by Chubby Checker. Ralph complains that he can't do those dance moves. Ed: "Get in that move and be gay (happy)." They put on the record again and Ralph dances. This is so funny. They rehearse the dance more and more. Alice comes in. Cue Ralph stopping in mid-dance when he sees Alice now. Ralph: "You wanted me to become a dancer so I was brushing up. This isn't a crazy costume. This is what all of us cats wear. I got it! I got it! I'm hip! Ready to go! I'm gone!" Alice: "You're gone all right." Ralph says that he will take her dancing and roller skating. He gives her his pin (like Wallace gave to Judy to mean that they are a couple). Alice is delighted. They rehearse some more.

At the roller skating rink, Ralph is a nervous wreck. He doesn't want to fall down and hurt himself. The roller skating rink actually has a bar on the right of it. Ed notices Ralph being nervous and the fact that he s having a tough time roller skating. Ralph: "If I keep this up, I will lose my old age." Alice asks Ralph to go give her and Trixie some coffee at the bar. The girls know that Ralph is having a tough time roller skating but that doesn't bother them apparently Ralph reluctantly complies. When he gets the coffee, you can hear a girl in the audience saying: "Steady, steady now!" When he delivers the coffee to them, Trixie notices that he is having hard time but doesn't even help him. Ralph sneezes and the coffee spills. Ralph wants to go home, but he slips and falls on the ground. Everyone tries to help him out but to no avail. When Ed helps, he even loses his hat. This moment is funny. I wonder how much fun it was for them to try and do this moment.

At home, Ralph is the one who is hurt the most. He complains about doing the things that young people do and blames Alice for it. Ralph says it was humiliating for him to fall down at the rink and not being able to get up. Everyone laughs and Ralph laughs along. Ralph remembers going out with Alice when they were young. He then says something like thinking young and being young. Everyone agrees and the episode ends.

Because of the talk of youth in this episode, you can hear a lot of young people in the audience. I think some of the young people were actually kids and the only reason they were let in because of the talk of youth.

Credit I think goes to (the original) Bill's 'Mooners Archives, eBay.com, the now defunct tv.com, Honeymooners Lost Episodes Book, tvguide.com, honeymooners.net, Honeymooners Lost Episodes DVD booklet, Wikipedia.org, the now defunct Yahoo Groups You're A Riot! & Amazon.com. ]]> The Honeymooners Frank Gannucci https://sitcomsonline.com/boards/showthread.php?t=514031 A Honeymooners Father’s Day: https://sitcomsonline.com/boards/showthread.php?t=513942&goto=newpost Thu, 18 Jun 2026 11:05:06 GMT A Honeymooners Father’s Day:

(Ralph & Ed are in the back of 328 Chauncey Street.)

Ralph: “With the Raccoons holding their inaugural Father’s Day golf outing, I need some practice. Alice says that this is a bad idea and we need to be in a driving range.”

Ed: “This small backyard is perfect. Take a look at all the holes that the animals dug up.”

Ralph: “She also says that we are liable to break windows. I’ll show her. I’ll also show her by being the Tiger Woods of our game as far as playing goes.”

Ed: “More like WHALE Woods.”

Ralph: “Oooooh, you’re a RIOT NORTON.”

Ed: “You should address the ball by doing this.”

(Ed has the golf club and goes toward the ball.)

Ed: “Plant your feet firmly…” (yells): “HELLLLLLO BAAAALLL!”

(Ralph slaps him on the back.)

Ralph: “You certainly are a stoop. I’ll show you how to hit a ball just like I will on the Father’s Day golf game.”

Ed: “Follow my instructions. Head down.”

(Ralph does that.)

Ed: “Keep your eye on the ball.”

(Ralph REALLY looks at the ball.)

Ed: “Ready.” (yells): “NOWWWWWW!”

(Ralph hits the golf ball in such a way that it smashes the windshield of a cop car. The cop comes.)

Ralph: “Huminahumina. Huminahumina.”

(Ralph gets handcuffed and taken away.)

(Jackie walks on stage. Crowd cheers.)

Jackie: “Thank you. I just want to wish every Dad a Happy Father’s Day and the Miami Beach Father’s Days are the BEST! GOOD NIGHT!”

(Crowd cheers.) ]]> The Honeymooners Frank Gannucci https://sitcomsonline.com/boards/showthread.php?t=513942 A Honeymooners Juneteenth: https://sitcomsonline.com/boards/showthread.php?t=513840&goto=newpost Tue, 16 Jun 2026 14:41:46 GMT A Honeymooners Juneteenth:

(Ralph & Ed are watching a documentary about Juneteenth.)

Ralph: “Good thing that there is a holiday called Juneteenth Norton.”

Ed: “It’s to celebrate the people being liberated from slavery.”

Ralph: “Good thing that they outlawed slavery.”

Ed: “May I echo those words?”

Ralph: “You certainly can Norton. Good thing that there is a holiday like this.”

Ed: “I agree. NOBODY deserves to be slaves.”

Ralph: “That’s right Norton.”

(They both sing a song about freedom from slavery.)

(Jackie walks on stage. Crowd cheers.)

Jackie: “Thank you. The Miami Beach crowds are the BEST! GOOD NIGHT!”

(Crowd cheers.) ]]> The Honeymooners Frank Gannucci https://sitcomsonline.com/boards/showthread.php?t=513840 <![CDATA[Honeymooners Episode Reviews: “The Babysitter” & The $99,000 Answer"]]> https://sitcomsonline.com/boards/showthread.php?t=513600&goto=newpost Fri, 12 Jun 2026 10:52:59 GMT Honeymooners Episode Reviews: “The Babysitter” & The $99,000 Answer"

Episode #125
TV: Half-hour.
VCR: Attached to "Mama Loves Mambo." On some tapes, it’s attached to “Oh My Aching Back” & “$99,000 Answer.” On some tapes, it’s attached to “House Beautiful” (aka “Pardon My Glove”), “Mama Loves Mambo”, “Alice & The Blonde” & “A Matter of Record.”
Laserdisc: Attached to “A Matter of Record”, “The Babysitter”, Oh My Aching Back”, “Ralph Kramden Inc.”, “The Safety Award”, “Mind Your Own Business” (aka “Ralph’s Big Mouth”), “Alice & The Blonde”, “The Bensonhurst Bomber”, “Dial J For Janitor” & “A Man’s Pride.”
DVD: Attached to episodes #17-24 of the classic 39. The HD Blu-Ray set has the exact same episodes (including two versions of the following: "The $99,000 Answer", "A Dog's Life" & "Here Comes The Bride" (in which one has the original ads) 60 Minutes Interview & outtakes (in which Jack talks about outtakes).
Air Date: Sat. 1/21/56

To see the script for this episode, click here: http://www.springfieldspringfield.co...episode=s04e17

Alice just got a new phone which is black. She calls Trixie down and explains she just got a new phone. Trixie comes down. They rave about the phone. One problem: Trying to hide the phone from Ralph. Trixie leaves. Alice tries to hide the phone from him. Ralph, of course, doesn't think they can afford a phone. Ralph comes home and when something rings, Ralph hears it's coming from the bureau (where Alice hid it.) Alice (sarcastically): "All right Ralph. Kill me!" Ralph says that the phone is going out the window and they can't afford it. Ralph: "What's the matter with yelling out the window?" Alice: "That's bad manners." Ralph: "My mom did it." Alice: "Yeah, and when she lost her voice, more people listened to her than Amos N' Andy." They argue more and more about the phone. Ralph: "That phone is for you-you-you." Alice picks up the ringing phone. Alice: "It's for-you-you-you." Ralph: "Hello?...Shut up!" That was Ed Norton congratulating Ralph on finally getting a phone. Ralph: "A man's home is like a ship. Where are you going?" Alice: "I'm retiring to the poop deck until this big wind blows over." Ha!

Ed comes down and they talk about the phone. Ed wants to make a very important call. Ralph obliges but gets mad when he finds out that the call is to get the correct time. Ralph: "You're going to pay me for that call." Gee, how nice...NOT! Ed says that Ralph has used his phone a lot of times. Ralph says he will pay for all his calls. Ed gets out a list of EVERY EXACT phone call that Ralph made on his phone. Ralph says that the phone was for Alice so she can talk all day long. Ralph thinks he knows the phone number for their home. He says that he will call and if it's a busy signal, he will come back up and catch Alice in the act. He leaves. A neighbor pops in and she knows of a couple who is in need of a kid who needs babysitting (hence the title of the episode.) She says that her phone number is Bensonhurst 0-7741. (This was a time before all phone numbers were all U.S. phone numbers were all 7 or 10 digit numbers.) Ralph comes back home and thinks he caught her in the act. Ralph: "If I have called Bensonhurst 0-7740 once, I must have called it a hundred times and I got a busy signal each time." Alice: "Our number is..." Audrey Meadows (via a real obvious overdub) "...Bensonhurst 0-7741." Audrey's & Jackie’s voices when they said the phone numbers were dubbed later after this episode was made. Why? According to the original script as printed in Peter Crescenti and Bob Columbia’s The Original Honeymooners Treasury, the wrong number was to be Bensonhurst 4-7741. And yes, because both phone numbers existed, they had to be changed (and likewise, the title to "The Babysitter)." According to Donna McCrohan's book, this episode had the longest history of rescheduling of any Honeymooners. It was originally titled "Bensonhurst 3-7741" and scheduled to air in succession, for October 15, December 17, and December 31, 1955. When the episode finally aired on January 21, 1956, it was retitled "The Baby-Sitter." Anyway, back to the show. Alice says: "I guess I married the wrong number Ralph." Ouch!

It was believed that when this episode aired, it had the original number. In 2021, I got a 16mm film reel of the episode. Well, I sent this tape reel of this to cloggedmind (a former sitcoms online.com poster He posted the video of the 16MM footage on YouTube that has since been taken down. If you listen to it, it doesn’t have the original number. When I asked him if the episode aired like that for the first time, he said this:

“Did the episode air with the revised number? I would say, yes. Further, since the Blu-ray set was created by scanning the original negatives and the overdubs are present there, I would surmise that the phone number was changed before broadcast. Plus, remember how tight CBS (and other television networks') censors were, back in the day. They would never knowingly allow a real number to be broadcast that could cost the network even more than what they were throwing at Gleason”

“For me, this one's case closed. All the facts are in order:

The episode's title was changed from "BEnsonhurst 3-7741" to "The Babysitter" before release, so we know the correction was made before transmission (and, of course, these weren't the "live" shows, so there was plenty of time for changes while they made 2 shows per week on that schedule).

The dubs were done with the original actors' voices (besides Gleason and Meadows), who would, likely, be difficult to rally together long after the production wrapped.

People always swore they heard the original number in tv repeats in the 70's. Well, this film was one of those at one point and, guess what? Still the revised number.

No one has ever produced a copy with "BEnsonhurst 3-7741" spoken in the episode.

And, the surviving negatives used for the remastered, hi-def release contain the altered soundtrack.

Done deal! I's satisfied!”

At the barber shop, a man at the shop is talking to Harvey Walsetter about Alice Kramden being a great babysitter last night. Ralph is remorseful what he did last night as they both get what I'm guessing is facials. Ed helps himself to whatever he can find at the shop too. Gee, isn't that kind of making yourself at home? Ralph overhears the man and Harvey talking in the shop. According to Harvey Walsetter, he wants Alice to come to his house tonight (to babysit his kid.) But Ralph, being Ralph, thinks she is seeing someone. Ralph and Ed leave.

At the Kramden household, Alice just accepted another babysitting job over the phone. It's for tonight and since she has to leave early and tries to rush Ralph (who is supposed to go to a Raccoon Lodge meeting) into eating his dinner. Ralph gets even more suspicious. Alice leaves and when Ed comes down, he says that when he goes to Harvey's house, he will kill Harvey and say to Alice it's over. Ralph: "I don't want to lose her." Ralph leaves. Ed: "I hope he doesn't lose her too. She's such a good cook."

At the Walsetter's place, the couple is celebrating their 10th Anniversary. Alice comes in. Harvey and his wife say their kid, whose name is Harvey Jr., is fast asleep. They leave. Ralph rings the doorbell about 9 times too many and greets Alice at the door. He is ticked off. Ralph goes over to the Harvey Jr.'s bedroom and says: "I came to see Harvey." Ralph (yells): "Come on out of there Harvey." Harvey Jr., because of the yelling comes out. He is supposedly crying a little but doesn't make a sound. Alice: "That's Harvey Jr." She picks little Harvey up and as Harvey is being carried back he takes one look at Ralph is his Raccoon uniform (complete with Raccoon cap) and says: "Gee, I never knew that Davey Crockett was so fat." Ha! He gets sent o bed. Ralph then gets the real message but this mess if actually Alice's fault and not Ralph's. Ralph loves Alice and Alice says that now they have a phone (which would be gone by the next episode) for him to call and tell Alice that. They hug and kiss.

Note: There was speculation that the bonus material on the HD Blu-Ray set may contain all of the original audio of this episode which would include the original phone numbers. Not so.

Episode #126
TV: Half-hour.
VCR: Attached to "On Stage." On some tapes, it’s attached to “Oh My Aching Back” & “The Babysitter.” On some tapes, it’s attached to “Funny Money”, “The Worry Wart” & “Ralph Kramden Inc.”
Laserdisc: Attached to “A Matter of Record”, “The Babysitter”, "Oh My Aching Back”, “Ralph Kramden Inc.”, “The Safety Award”, “Mind Your Own Business” (aka “Ralph’s Big Mouth”), “Alice & The Blonde”, “The Bensonhurst Bomber”, “Dial J For Janitor” & “A Man’s Pride.”
DVD: Attached to episodes #17-24 of the classic 39. The HD Blu-Ray set has the exact same episodes (including two versions of the following: "A Dog's Life" & "Here Comes The Bride" (in which one has the original ads) 60 Minutes Interview & outtakes (in which Jack talks about outtakes).
Air Date: Sat. 1/21/56

To my shock, the original script of this surfaced on Ebay in 2014. Unlike "The Sleepwalker", this one cost chump change and here's the link if you want to see it: http://www.sitcomsonline.com/boards/...d.php?t=333351.

To see the finished script, click here: http://www.springfieldspringfield.co...episode=s04e18

In 2023, this episode was colorized (aka tinted) and put on YouTube. It has since been taken down.

A game show called: "The $99,000 Answer" comes on and the host of the show (Herb Norris) is with a contestant. Herb asks him a question which the contestant answers correctly. Herb says that he can come back next week and see if he wants to try for the $99,000 Question. The contestant leaves. The next contestant comes in and it's Ralph Kramden. Ralph is all nervous and when he gets asked as to what he does for a living, he says: "I brive a dus." Herb realizes that Ralph drives a bus and tells a story on when it was raining and there was a big puddle of mud that he was standing near and when he waved for a bus, not only did the driver not stop, he drove into the puddle of mud and all the mud went on Herb. Ralph: "Was that you?" Ouch! Herb explains the rules of the game and the category that Ralph picks for the questions is Popular Songs. Time runs out and Ralph is asked to return next week and the game show ends (even though it started a few minutes ago, or so it seems.)

At home that night, Alice & Trixie are raving about Ralph's appearance on the game show. Ralph is under the street light outside hoping someone will recognize him. Trixie: "When Ralph turns profile, he's the biggest thing on TV." She leaves. Ralph enters home. Ralph: "I learned something tonight Alice. You are never too old to learn something and tonight I learned something. There's not one person in this building that hasn't got a jealous nature. Not one person admitted they saw me on the program." Alice says that Trixie was hear and she saw you on the TV and that Trixie explained that Ed and all his friends were at the bowling alley and they saw you on the program. Alice: "Trixie says that you’re the biggest thing on TV." Ralph is happy. He says that they will all take part in the celebration of Ralph winning the $99,000. Ralph: "We will be living on Park Avenue and just wait until you see what this furniture looks like when it's in a Park Avenue apartment." Alice is upset that Ralph thinks it's going to be easy to win all the money given the tough questions. Ralph says that that's why he picked a topic that he likes: Popular Songs. Ralph: "I have always liked music especially popular music. I used to eat, sleep and drink music. Every night, I ended up listening to a dance man." Ralph says that he won't worry about being on the $99,000 Answer (a big show). He is always his BEST under pressure. Alice: "You're a man who brives a dus." Ralph says that a 12-year-old kid came on that program and answered the first question and if a 12-year-old can do it, he could. Alice: "Spell antidistanttablishmentterrism (sp?)." Ralph: "I'll spell it when you give me $16,000 for spelling it." Ralph says that for the program next week, he's going to extremely study. He will be home pretty much 24 hours a day for the next seven days. He's going to buy sheet music and study that and he's going to rent a piano and have Norton come down and play every song that he has ever heard of. He's also going to buy a phonograph and study records. Alice says that that will cost a fortune. Ralph: "When the smoke clears, we will have $99,000." (Doesn't Ralph know that he would probably get less than $99,000 after taxes?) This time I will get my pot of gold." Alice: "Just go for the gold. You already got the pot." Ha!

During the next week, Alice's Mom comes by. Alice's Mom: "How's the brain doing?" Alice says that the piano and the phonograph have been going on since 2am every night. (Why didn't the Kramdens and Nortons get kicked out for Ralph & Ed making so much noise?) Ralph comes home from Mrs. Manicotti's (she was helping him study by singing Italian classic songs) and Alice's Mom wants Ralph to get to the $99,000 Question and she wants to see his face when he misses it. She leaves. Alice complains about all Ralph is doing to win the money. She goes to bed. Ed comes in with more phonographs. So, let the Norton piano playing begin. He warms up for every song by playing "Suwannee River." He did the same thing in "Songwriters" and Ralph recognized the name of the song, but in this latter episode he doesn't. He gets all mad at Norton. Ed (angrily): "A Pitcher warms up before the big game; I have to warm up too. I hope I don't have to tell you this again." With the exception of Suwannee River, Ralph not only gets the title of the songs correct, but who wrote them and what year they were made. Ed warms up by playing "Suwannee River" and plays another song on the sheet, Ralph doesn't guess it. The passage that Ed plays is the Gleason-composed "Melancholy Serenade," the theme of Gleason's variety show, from which the Honeymooners sketches emanated. McGarrity comes in to complain about the noise. (The first time, he makes an on-screen appearance.) Ralph: "You're just jealous that's all and do you know why? Because at this time, tomorrow night, my picture will be on the front page of every newspaper in the country." McGarrity: "So will mine for killing you." He leaves. Gee, when a person wins a million dollars on a game show today, they don't get their picture on the front page of every newspaper. Alice comes out so Ralph blames McGarrity for waking her up. Alice tries to get them to stop playing the piano but to no avail. Alice: "I will be very proud Ralph if you just walked away with $600." Ralph: "$600. Peanuts, peanuts. What am I going to do with peanuts?" Alice: "Eat 'em, like any other elephant." Ha! She goes back to bed while Ralph orders Ed to play the piano more.

The next day on the game show, Ralph is the first contestant. (Whatever happened to the other one?). Ralph says that he studied a little and that he plans to on straight to the $99,000 Question. Herb: "Did you talk this over with your wife?" Ralph: "Yes, I did and regardless, I am going for the $99,000 Question." The first question: "For $100, who is the composer of Suwannee River?" Ralph hears the intro of the song and he remembers that that's the song Ed warmed up before playing the other songs. Ralph: "Ed Norton?" Herb: "The correct answer is Steven Foster. You lost. I'll be seeing you Mr. Kramden." Ralph isn't going to quit though and he keeps on mentioning a song's info when the woman and Herb ask him to leave. Ralph just blew his chances of winning any money.

On the sponsor one, at the end, Jack plugs Buick. The credits roll with a stick figure of Jack in the background.

Credit I think goes to (the original) Bill's 'Mooners Archives, eBay.com, the now defunct tv.com, Honeymooners Lost Episodes Book, tvguide.com, honeymooners.net, Honeymooners Lost Episodes DVD booklet, Wikipedia.org, the now defunct Yahoo Groups You're A Riot! & Amazon.com. ]]> The Honeymooners Frank Gannucci https://sitcomsonline.com/boards/showthread.php?t=513600