TJL
12-30-2003, 09:16 PM
We now rejoin the 2003 Hawkeye Awards already in progress…
Lets’ hear it once again for the Sitcoms Online Orchestra and the New York City Ballet for that wonderful song and dance tribute to “Dharma And Greg!”
Now I would like to introduce two wonderful kids whose reality show was one of the biggest hits this year. He’s a boyband bigshot, she’s a blathering bimbette, and together they are America’s favorite "newlyweds." Here to accept the award for Outstanding Achievement In Television, Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey!
Nick – Thanks everybody! It’s really great to be here. Isn’t it Honey?
Jessica – Oh yes, It's great to be here! But like, if we weren’t here, we’d probably be someplace else, right? I hope it’s not cold there.
Nick – That’s nice sweetie. Tonight we are here to accept this wonderful award on behalf of MTV!
Jessica – I love Television! It’s like a radio you see stuff with!
Nick – Thanks to MTV, millions of people have watched Jessica and I share our lives together.
Jessica – What’s a Hawkeye? Is it some kind of dog?
Nick – Yeah baby, that’s great. This year MTV also offered us a glimpse into the pampered and emotionally unstable world of “Rich Girls.”
Jessica – Rich girls are mean. They hate poor people. Honey, are we poor?
Nick – Jessica, remember what I told you?
Jessica – Yeah…
Nick - What happens when you talk?
Jessica – God cries.
Nick – So thanks to MTV, viewers can find out how Jay Z entertains ho’s in his “crib,” what part of the house Sharon Osbourne’s dog just crapped in, or how untalented actors and actresses deal with being “Punk’d.” And all without those boring music videos interrupting the fun.
Jessica – Videos are dumb. I should know because sometimes I feel like I’m a video.
Nick – So on behalf of Jessica and myself, we proudly accept this award for MTV. Thank you MTV!
Jessica – And thank you, Hawkeye! I loved you on “Wings!”
Let's hear it for Jessica and Nick! Thanks kids! And be careful Jess, that trophy has small parts!
We’re going to take a break now folks, but stay tuned…
Coming up on the 2003 Hawkeye Awards:
The cast of “Gilligan’s Island" reunite to say more bad things about Tina Louise!
We announce the winner of our “Reader’s Choice Award!”
An exclusive sneak preview of “Silver Spoons – The Movie,” a Sitcoms Online Original Film starring Kevin Spacey and Haley Joel Osmett!
And our final award honoring “Person Of the Year!”
;)
Lets’ hear it once again for the Sitcoms Online Orchestra and the New York City Ballet for that wonderful song and dance tribute to “Dharma And Greg!”
Now I would like to introduce two wonderful kids whose reality show was one of the biggest hits this year. He’s a boyband bigshot, she’s a blathering bimbette, and together they are America’s favorite "newlyweds." Here to accept the award for Outstanding Achievement In Television, Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey!
Nick – Thanks everybody! It’s really great to be here. Isn’t it Honey?
Jessica – Oh yes, It's great to be here! But like, if we weren’t here, we’d probably be someplace else, right? I hope it’s not cold there.
Nick – That’s nice sweetie. Tonight we are here to accept this wonderful award on behalf of MTV!
Jessica – I love Television! It’s like a radio you see stuff with!
Nick – Thanks to MTV, millions of people have watched Jessica and I share our lives together.
Jessica – What’s a Hawkeye? Is it some kind of dog?
Nick – Yeah baby, that’s great. This year MTV also offered us a glimpse into the pampered and emotionally unstable world of “Rich Girls.”
Jessica – Rich girls are mean. They hate poor people. Honey, are we poor?
Nick – Jessica, remember what I told you?
Jessica – Yeah…
Nick - What happens when you talk?
Jessica – God cries.
Nick – So thanks to MTV, viewers can find out how Jay Z entertains ho’s in his “crib,” what part of the house Sharon Osbourne’s dog just crapped in, or how untalented actors and actresses deal with being “Punk’d.” And all without those boring music videos interrupting the fun.
Jessica – Videos are dumb. I should know because sometimes I feel like I’m a video.
Nick – So on behalf of Jessica and myself, we proudly accept this award for MTV. Thank you MTV!
Jessica – And thank you, Hawkeye! I loved you on “Wings!”
Let's hear it for Jessica and Nick! Thanks kids! And be careful Jess, that trophy has small parts!
We’re going to take a break now folks, but stay tuned…
Coming up on the 2003 Hawkeye Awards:
The cast of “Gilligan’s Island" reunite to say more bad things about Tina Louise!
We announce the winner of our “Reader’s Choice Award!”
An exclusive sneak preview of “Silver Spoons – The Movie,” a Sitcoms Online Original Film starring Kevin Spacey and Haley Joel Osmett!
And our final award honoring “Person Of the Year!”
;)