Man, some of the things they'll say just to shut you up or they're too tired to answer!

I remember as a kid I *Loved* the 'Planet of The Apes' movies. I was about in 1st grade & one day I asked my father what planet the apes came from. (cause I wanted to become an astronaut to go see the apes, of course!) ..... He said "Pluto." I totally bought it. I even tried to make myself a rocket that would fit me in it!

Thanks dad.

Before I was old enough to shave my mom told me that if I shave my hair will grow back black which isn't true unless you have black hair to begin with LOL

My Mom told me that if I ate a watermelon seed, i would grow a tree in my stomach

When I was younger, I used to want to be on TV so bad. So I asked my mom if I could be famous. She told me that I was already in a commercial when I was a baby, which isn't true...

And one time when i was about 5, I killed a bug and white stuff came out of it. My sister said it was maynaise...I stoped eating mayo for like 4 years...

One time on Christmas Eve, I was at a restaurant with my dad picking up food to take home. All of a sudden, Santa came in the room we were in and went "HO HO HO! IS THERE AN AMY IN HERE?" and I was like "Uhh...." and kinda died. Then he was all asking me what I wanted for Christmas and I said a Sky Dancer (you know those things that flew when you pulled the string...yeah I was little) and he said he had one for me in his sleigh.

Now, for years I was still wondering how Santa knew who I was.

Until last year when my dad told me he had gone to the bathroom, peed with Santa, and asked him to come make a big scene for me. Thanks Dad.

Originally posted by TradingMooses
One time on Christmas Eve, I was at a restaurant with my dad picking up food to take home. All of a sudden, Santa came in the room we were in and went "HO HO HO! IS THERE AN AMY IN HERE?" and I was like "Uhh...." and kinda died. Then he was all asking me what I wanted for Christmas and I said a Sky Dancer (you know those things that flew when you pulled the string...yeah I was little) and he said he had one for me in his sleigh.

Now, for years I was still wondering how Santa knew who I was.

Until last year when my dad told me he had gone to the bathroom, peed with Santa, and asked him to come make a big scene for me. Thanks Dad.

:lol:

Oh Jesus- that Santa one reminded me of another. Except I think this one was kinda mean & falls closer to "Baldface Lie" than a white lie.

One Xmas, I spent the night at our next door neighbor's who had 2 kids my age. On Xmas morning, I went home & my father told me that SANTA had stopped by to last night to hello! He did the whole act. Said Santa went to my room, shook my bed covers, said my name several times...but I wasn't home. I thought I was gonna die. He said "Santa Claus just gave up & said 'Ahh weeell...' & left.
You blew it, son."


Thanks again, dad.

Apparently, according to my Mother, our family's disinformation officer, pinching someone gives them Cancer.

Actually from what she told me growing up, every thing pretty much gave you cancer.

Boy, I can't wait until she reads the book I'm working on...

;)

When I asked my mother how babies came out she only told me that "God provides an opening" Naturally, seeing my Mom's big tummy several times I thought that the baby popped out through her stomach!(this was the 50's , mind you!):lol: So I really never knew better until well into my teens!:crazy: But I told my own daughter the real story story when she was about 10 years old :D But she told me later that I was TOO graphic!:lol: So what does one do?:confused: :crazy:

Originally posted by TJL
Apparently, according to my Mother, our family's disinformation officer, pinching someone gives them Cancer.

Actually from what she told me growing up, every thing pretty much gave you cancer.

Boy, I can't wait until she reads the book I'm working on...

;) :lol:

When I was 4, I asked my mom how babies got inside a woman's stomach. She told me that the doctors had a pill that they gave you that made the baby grow, a bottle of girls, and a bottle of boys.

Yeah... needless to say, that last until about kindergarten when my friends told me the real thing...

i was being real bad one day when i was lie 4 or 5 and my moms like cara be good or im calling santa and i just kept on doin whatever i was doin so she picked up the phone and im like no no and i started crying then she gave me the phone and i was talkin to "santa" and he told me to be good or i wouldnt get any presents...then like a couple years ago i asked my mom who she called and said was santa n she said she dont remember.she thinks my uncle

another one was when she lied to my brother because he was lik 10 and he wanted to stay home on christmas and not go to my grandmas so my mom was like i will get arrested if you stay home on christmas and we beleeved her then i asked her this year and she started laughing really hard and said she wouldnt get arrested

Originally posted by TradingMooses
Until last year when my dad told me he had gone to the bathroom, peed with Santa, and asked him to come make a big scene for me. Thanks Dad.

:rofl: :rofl:

They told me that talking back to people and giving them a taste of their own medicine would get people that are annoying me off my back. I did that when I was in the 1st grade and I told a kid off but I got into huge trouble and my parents sided with the teacher instead of me and when I got home, I got a spanking!! Hey, it was either that or be grounded for a long period of time. Also, they told me about Santa Claus, The Tooth Fairy, and the Easter Bunny but then when I was 11, they told me the Easter Bunny and Tooth Fairy aren't real and I figured it out myself that Santa wasn't real, of course, at all!!

My mom got pregnant when I was 5 1/2 years old. I had no idea what was happening and my parents didn't bother to tell me (either because they were protecting me or because they knew i wanted to be an only child for the rest of my life). i asked my mom why her tummy was so big lately and why she had trouble sitting down. she said she had gained weight. oh man, that is not what happened at all. it was really weird and i hate the fact that they didn't tell me, but i understand it as well. next time my mom got pregnant, i knew the signs. ;)

Originally posted by SomersCompany3
My Mom told me that if I ate a watermelon seed, i would grow a tree in my stomach

My mom told me that too.

And of course the "Dont make that face, or it'll stay like that."

I was told that if I drink my chocolate milk, there would be a surprise at the bottom of my cup and I believed my mom and when I was done, there was no surprise at all that I was very, very, mad about my mom deceiving me!!

you want to know ALL OF THEM? :eek2: nah dont feel like typin em all

Santa. Damnit. :mad:

well this is kinda gross, and it was actually my grandmother who told me this but she said to me stop picking your nose or they'll have to cut you up to get the bogies out

euww - i was about 7 or 8 at the time and believed her:lol:

My parents told us that the witch we hung up for halloween came to life at night.By Penny Lane: I thought that the baby popped out through her stomach!
When my brother Jon was born I apparently ask our neighbor if my mom's stomach would crack:lol:

I used to always stick my nose in the air (like this guy http://www.sitcomsonline.com/boards/attachment.php?s=&postid=1269769) to piss off my mom and she kept telling me that if i do that it'll stay like that forever. lol and one time when i was doing it she said she'll cut off my nose and i didnt believe her so she got out some scissors and i was like NOOOO NEVERMIND

Originally posted by .:mads:.
Santa. Damnit. :mad:

Thats Not Lie, Santas Real. :mad:

Unlike The Easter Bunny and Tooth Fairy.

Originally posted by Chad Doody
Thats Not Lie, Santas Real. :mad:

Unlike The Easter Bunny and Tooth Fairy.

Ditto! I'm 14 and I still think Santa is real :mad:

Originally posted by Chad Doody
Thats Not Lie, Santas Real. :mad:

Unlike The Easter Bunny and Tooth Fairy.
http://www.santamail.org/images/letter.gif

Originally posted by sArAh123¼
http://www.santamail.org/images/letter.gif

That is the funniest... ****ing thing I've seen in my life.

Originally posted by sArAh123¼
http://www.santamail.org/images/letter.gif

:lol: That's so sad

Originally posted by sArAh123¼
http://www.santamail.org/images/letter.gif

Oh c'mon people!

Santa has to send out a form letter this time of year. He's really busy ya know...

;)

I would list all of them but they are so expletive they would ban me like in the movies where the actors playing characters do stuff and I have seen my parents do stuff from there, I flip my middle finger at adults and I got a spankin and said from a movie, I seen them and you all doing it but they said don't ever, ever do that!! I have since known and dealt with worse!!

Originally posted by sArAh123¼
http://www.santamail.org/images/letter.gif
:lol:

"If you don't stop making that face, it's going to stick!"

That watermelons would grow inside my stomach if I kept swallowing the seeds.

If I looked up at the sun for too long, I'd go blind.

Talk back to someone, get in trouble. The Watermelon joke is funny as well!! So is the Easter Bunny, Santa Claus, Tooth Fairy!!

Also my mom told me that if i was bad she'd call santa so i asked her what is number is and she said she wasnt telling and she knew it because when you have a baby the people at the hospital give you his number... :lol:

When I was about 7 or 8 I use to walk to school about 2 blocks with a neighbor who was a couple years older than me.
I would complain to my mom all the time about walking to school, its so far.
She would say, yeah, well I use to walk to school at your age, 2 miles, up hill, both ways.
At the time I thought, boy you had it rough.
Now I'm like, yeah, up hill both ways my a**. :rolleyes:

Originally posted by Miss Karly
When I was 4, I asked my mom how babies got inside a woman's stomach. She told me that the doctors had a pill that they gave you that made the baby grow, a bottle of girls, and a bottle of boys.

Yeah... needless to say, that last until about kindergarten when my friends told me the real thing...

OMG, I remember when I was 8 and went to Sunday School one time and I happened to be the only kid in class that morning. So the Sunday School teacher was trying to teach me a Bible lesson and right out of the blue, I suddenly asked, "Where do babies come from?" I'm sure the teacher was just TICKLED to answer that one!! So she told me they put a seed inside the mother, and in several months, the baby was born! So I thought, "Seeds, huh? So I could prolly buy those seeds down at the home and garden shop downtown in Renton?" My other question (which I didn't ask) was, "Now how do they get the seeds inside the mother??"

:lol:

Originally posted by little insomniac
That watermelons would grow inside my stomach if I kept swallowing the seeds.

They don't :eek3:??????????????








jk :p

:wave: :crazy: :lol: :eek: :happyface

-make a face and it'll freeze that way
-don't stick out your tongue or a bird will come along and go to the bathroom on it
-if you're bad the toothfairy will kidnap you
-bottles of hot water in the cellar stay hot and you can make cocoa when the power goes out
-you used to have an older brother but he wouldn't stop talking so we gave him away (they were so mean)
-bread crusts will make your hair straight (didn't work)

Originally posted by Titania
-make a face and it'll freeze that way
-don't stick out your tongue or a bird will come along and go to the bathroom on it
-if you're bad the toothfairy will kidnap you
-bottles of hot water in the cellar stay hot and you can make cocoa when the power goes out
-you used to have an older brother but he wouldn't stop talking so we gave him away (they were so mean)
-bread crusts will make your hair straight (didn't work)

To be honest, I would love to have one of my bosses at Wal-Mart have a helicopter flown over her and go down on her leaving her body decapitated and mutilated and everybody at Wally-World jump up for joy!!

Originally posted by Bty
They don't :eek3:??????????????








jk :p

Can you believe it? :lol:

Originally posted by EricIdlefan
To be honest, I would love to have one of my bosses at Wal-Mart have a helicopter flown over her and go down on her leaving her body decapitated and mutilated and everybody at Wally-World jump up for joy!!

What the hell??

Originally posted by EricIdlefan
To be honest, I would love to have one of my bosses at Wal-Mart have a helicopter flown over her and go down on her leaving her body decapitated and mutilated and everybody at Wally-World jump up for joy!!

http://www.sitcomsonline.com/boards/attachment.php?s=&postid=1300895

Originally posted by Bty
http://www.sitcomsonline.com/boards/attachment.php?s=&postid=1300895

Funny thing is, I made that last night and have used it 3 times...all on the same person!

Originally posted by *PinkLady*
"Trust me, it tastes good and it's good for you." ("it" being hominy in this case, and I still hate it.)

:lol: My parents told me the same thing about eggs....Always hated it and always will. :barf: