Top Ten Reasons I'm Excited To Be A Father

From The Late Show With David Letterman, November 4, 2003

10. Instead of "You suck, Dave," I can look forward to "You suck, Dad"

9. All of America will get to watch him grow up on television, just like Cody Gifford!

8. My used hairpieces make cuddly fuzzy pals

7. Only the most cold-hearted state trooper would ticket a guy with an adorable baby

6. Asking mom to watch baby perfect way to keep her away from dog track

5. I stocked up on moist towelettes from the hospital supply room

4. Great new excuse for not hanging out with Regis

3. Anxious to put to use all the practice I've had raising my pet monkey Kenny

2. Two words: Swedish nanny

1. There is now tangible evidence that I have had sex

Way to go Dave! Congrats on the birth of your son.

I think I'll wait until I'm 56 before I start having kids.

I'm sure Dave's first day back as a Dad got some tremendous ratings. I wonder if Leno is going to get his wife pregnant?

;)