**Don't miss the second letter**


VIGILANT MOM TURNS INTERNET PREDATOR OVER TO THE POLICE

DEAR ABBY: When you advised "Brokenhearted Mom in Virginia," whose daughter is being lured by an Internet predator, to call the police and get them involved, you gave good advice. My 13-year-old daughter was in the same situation.
The 37-year-old man who "loved" my daughter and "wanted to marry her and have children with her" was a pedophile who had already molested a 10-year-old girl. He had told my daughter he was 15. I went straight to the police with as much information as I could -- name, address, phone number.

The detectives have been wonderful. My daughter and I are now in counseling to repair the damage this man did to our relationship. I am grateful beyond words for all the support I have been given, and thank God every day that my daughter is still with me.

By the way, she didn't meet this guy in a chat room, but playing a game on the Internet. -- THANKFUL MOM

DEAR THANKFUL: I'm relieved your story has a happy ending. Since printing that letter, I have been informed that parents should also report this crime to the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children by visiting the Web site at www.missingkids.com and filing a report on the CyberTip line.

Parents must be vigilant in monitoring their children's Internet usage. To do otherwise is to invite a stranger into your home with unmonitored access to your children. Read on:


DEAR ABBY: My 16-year-old stepdaughter, "Ginger," met a man on the Internet. At first he claimed to be 17 -- then 24. He turned out to be 56. Ginger became pregnant at 17. She claimed her baby was a local boy's child. We found out on the eve of her moving out to live with the predator that our grandchild was really his.

In an effort to find out if he was sincere or a stalker, I created a fake screen name, set myself up as an attractive young girl (complete with a photo from a royalty-free photo site), and developed a profile that would be attractive to him based on my daughter's likes and dislikes. He contacted me immediately, and within 10 minutes he solicited me for intimate phone conversation. Our chats always ended with him urging me to call him. I recorded these sessions for future use against him, then reported the pervert to the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children (www.ncmec.org).

This incident has been devastating for Ginger. She suffers from it daily. She has missed a lot of fun in her high school days because of having a child. She is now in counseling and on a long road to becoming the bright, cheerful person she was before she was consumed by this. -- 'GINGER'S' MOM

DEAR MOM: Your story is chilling. Unfortunately, I have received similar letters from distraught parents telling this same story and wondering how to handle a situation that is out of control. No one wants to be told he or she is being used or taken advantage of, and that includes teenagers whose self-esteem may be fragile to begin with. But it is up to the parents to take control when necessary.

Stay tuned. There will be more on this tomorrow -- when I print a letter that will curl your hair.

Thank you for printing this Janice! I hope the teens read this...... :(

wow that is scary. Some teens can be very nieve (sp?) And you can't trust anyone who says they want to meet somewhere.

Originally posted by MonarC
wow that is scary. Some teens can be very nieve (sp?) And you can't trust anyone who says they want to meet somewhere. Naive? Ah hell I dont even know.:lol:

It sucks for the people that ARE out there to meet people that arent psycho.. gives the good people a bad name. My friend met her bf of 3 years online and my best friends cousin married his.

When my two girls are old enough, I'm seriously thinking of banning the internet.

That is so sick. I wish those internet predators could all be found, caught, and thrown on some island in the middle of nowhere.

Originally posted by dawsongirl
That is so sick. I wish those internet predators could all be found, caught, and thrown on some island in the middle of nowhere.

Well at least we know we got rid of one of them.

Hmm...*looks around suspiciously*

See, that's why I have the "DTA" (don't trust anyone)!

Originally posted by Original Prankster
Well at least we know we got rid of one of them.

:nod:

That's so sad about that girl Ginger. :crying:

ONLINE PREDATOR LURES CHILD INTO OBSESSIVE RELATIONSHIP

DEAR ABBY: I had to write after reading the letter from "Brokenhearted Mom in Virginia." My 14-year-old daughter developed an Internet relationship with a now 21-year-old man when she was 10. By the time she was 12, he was drawing her into a deeply dysfunctional relationship. Unbeknownst to her, he was a mental patient who was obsessed with suicide and self-mutilation.
Without going into a lot of detail, it took more than a year to permanently end this relationship and purge this person from our lives. When our daughter tried on her own to extricate herself, he threatened to commit suicide and take her with him, as well as kill her family. We were finally able to get him locked up in a mental facility. We were also able to obtain a restraining order to keep him away.

Abby, please impress upon "Brokenhearted Mom" that her daughter is a child and does not see the situation in the same light as she does. Her friends may be encouraging and enabling the relationship. The daughter will most likely see it as an "us against them" situation.

"Mom" must assert control and pay a visit to her local police station. She should speak to an officer about her options, and make sure to document the relationship as best she can. She should also obtain copies of all correspondence between the man and her daughter. There is software that can capture their conversations to a file.

When it comes to obtaining a restraining order, "Brokenhearted Mom" will need evidence of the relationship because it is likely her daughter will refuse to cooperate. Once the police become involved, they will probably contact the perpetrator and warn him. If that doesn't work, a restraining order is next, and if he violates that, he will be arrested.

It's important to bear in mind that the daughter will need professional help in recovering from a relationship with a pedophile. She's going to be very, very angry at her mother. A therapist can help her deal with this. In fact, a therapist should be contacted for help BEFORE any action is taken to end the relationship. It will be a very difficult behavioral period.

And last, please, please move the computer to a central location where a parent can supervise exactly what his or her child is doing at all times. Internet access should not be allowed when a parent cannot be around. I learned this lesson the hard way. Access to the telephone may also have to be limited for a time. Caller ID is extremely helpful, because you can block the stalker's number. -- WISER NOW ON THE EAST COAST

DEAR WISER NOW: Thank you for sharing your experience with more readers -- and parents -- than you can imagine. I hope they will take your experience to heart and understand that their children are as vulnerable wandering in cyberspace as they would be wandering the streets of a strange city. Predators capitalize on the lack of experience and gullibility of young people -- some of whom are lonely, emotionally isolated and needy. Their access can be curtailed only if parents take the time, and make it their business, to do it.

Originally posted by Original Prankster
Well at least we know we got rid of one of them.

:nod:


That stuff is so sad.

Originally posted by dawsongirl
That is so sick. I wish those internet predators could all be found, caught, and thrown on some island in the middle of nowhere.

And then tortured...very slowly.

Originally posted by Janice
ONLINE PREDATOR LURES CHILD INTO OBSESSIVE RELATIONSHIP

DEAR ABBY: I had to write after reading the letter from "Brokenhearted Mom in Virginia." My 14-year-old daughter developed an Internet relationship with a now 21-year-old man when she was 10. By the time she was 12, he was drawing her into a deeply dysfunctional relationship. Unbeknownst to her, he was a mental patient who was obsessed with suicide and self-mutilation.
Without going into a lot of detail, it took more than a year to permanently end this relationship and purge this person from our lives. When our daughter tried on her own to extricate herself, he threatened to commit suicide and take her with him, as well as kill her family. We were finally able to get him locked up in a mental facility. We were also able to obtain a restraining order to keep him away.

Abby, please impress upon "Brokenhearted Mom" that her daughter is a child and does not see the situation in the same light as she does. Her friends may be encouraging and enabling the relationship. The daughter will most likely see it as an "us against them" situation.

"Mom" must assert control and pay a visit to her local police station. She should speak to an officer about her options, and make sure to document the relationship as best she can. She should also obtain copies of all correspondence between the man and her daughter. There is software that can capture their conversations to a file.

When it comes to obtaining a restraining order, "Brokenhearted Mom" will need evidence of the relationship because it is likely her daughter will refuse to cooperate. Once the police become involved, they will probably contact the perpetrator and warn him. If that doesn't work, a restraining order is next, and if he violates that, he will be arrested.

It's important to bear in mind that the daughter will need professional help in recovering from a relationship with a pedophile. She's going to be very, very angry at her mother. A therapist can help her deal with this. In fact, a therapist should be contacted for help BEFORE any action is taken to end the relationship. It will be a very difficult behavioral period.

And last, please, please move the computer to a central location where a parent can supervise exactly what his or her child is doing at all times. Internet access should not be allowed when a parent cannot be around. I learned this lesson the hard way. Access to the telephone may also have to be limited for a time. Caller ID is extremely helpful, because you can block the stalker's number. -- WISER NOW ON THE EAST COAST

DEAR WISER NOW: Thank you for sharing your experience with more readers -- and parents -- than you can imagine. I hope they will take your experience to heart and understand that their children are as vulnerable wandering in cyberspace as they would be wandering the streets of a strange city. Predators capitalize on the lack of experience and gullibility of young people -- some of whom are lonely, emotionally isolated and needy. Their access can be curtailed only if parents take the time, and make it their business, to do it.

That is so scary.