Dannie IsNotHere
08-17-2003, 08:17 PM
This probably sounds really corny, but it's worth a try... tell me what you think:
Upside Down World
Cast: Steve Campbell, Charlene McCrumb, Debbie Soflety, Lusy Seese, Sandra Martin, Todd Markline
Scene begins with Steve behind bar making drinks for customer, humming. The door opens and Charlene walks in.
Charlene (looking around): Excuse me. Is Rebecca Howe here?
Steve (Continuing making drinks; doesn’t look at Charlene): Rebecca Howe...? Oh, the previous owner... (Stops, stares at Charlene, mouth drops open)
Charlene: Yes... (Raises eyebrows)
Steve (Shakes head): Oh! Um... oh! Wow... oops! I mean -ahem- Rebecca Howe left to be with her husband, Don Santry. So... um... she’s not Rebecca Howe anymore. You didn’t hear? It was in the newspaper when Sam and everyone left.
Charlene (looking confused): Sam... left?
Steve (Continues making drinks): Yep. I think he got married. I didn’t really pay attention to his part. I was really interested in Rebecca. She’s so beautiful, and she had to go and get married.
Charlene (Dazed-like): Married... wow... Rebecca... She was fabulous. Ever since I was 13, she’s been an idol for me. And Sam was a wonderful owner. I thought he was so cute.
Steve (Stops making drinks; looks up at Charlene, leans over bar): Well. I’m the owner of this bar now. So... now you have someone else to think is cute.
Charlene (Sarcastically chuckles): Right. We don’t even know each other’s names and I think you’re so cute. (Grabs Steve’s collar) Come and take me. (Pushes Steve away and laughs)
Steve (Face red): Well... um... I’m Steve. Steve Campbbell.
Charlene: Why, hello, Steve Campbell. I’m Charlene McCrumb.
Steve’s workers, Debbie and Todd walk in. Charlene looks over and her face softens. The two people look like nice, civilized people.
Debbie and Todd: Hey, Steve.
Steve: Hey! Look, I’d like you to meet Charlene McCrumb. She came in looking for Rebecca Howe, and I had to tell her the news.
Debbie: Oh. Well, I’m Debbie Moore and this is Todd Markline. The three of us are kind of like the recreation of the old Cheers gang. Steve’s the new Sam. I’m the new Carla... except not as mean (Rubs hands together and cackles), and Todd’s the new Woody, only stupider.
Todd: Hey... my name’s Todd, not Woody. What are you talking about?
Debbie: Hasn’t changed, huh?
Charlene (laughing): No.
A pause. Everyone looks at each other and gets used to each other.
Steve: Hey, I have an idea!
Debbie: Uh-oh.
Todd: I have an idea, too.
Steve: Well, what’s yours?
Todd: Uh... I forget.
Steve (Giving Todd a Look): Um... ok then. Anyway, how about we let Charlene work here? She could be a waitress.
Debbie: Hey, Fat face, how do you know she even needs a job?
Todd: Oh, let me ask! Hey, Fat face. Do you need a job?
Debbie: Oh my go. Todd, she’s not the Fat face!
Todd: Then who is?
Debbie: Steve is! And you are, too! And if she (points at Charlene) works here, she’d better watch out, too.
Charlene: Um... well... I do kind of need a job. I was living with my boyfriend, and I had to move out because... um... well, I’ve been looking for a job ever since.
Steve: Why did you have to leave your boyfriend?
Charlene: Umm... I really don’t want to talk about it.
Steve: Aw, come on!
Debbie: If she doesn’t want to talk about it, then FORGET IT!
Steve (looking bewildered): I don’t understand. How come whenever some new person walks into this bar, you hate ‘em. But now there’s her, and you like her!
Debbie (sweetly): I haven’t really gotten to know her. I’ll hate her if she decides to work here.
Charlene (sarcastically): Well, that’s good news.
Steve: Whatever, Debbie. Anyway, do you want the job or not?
Charlene (hesitating, looks around for awhile): Well... all right.
Debbie (evil eye): You’re making a mistake.
Charlene: Oh well. I’ll get used to it.
Steve (leaning over bar again): Why don’t you, uh- grab my collar again and tell me to take you?
Charlene: Nah.
Debbie: Charlene, don’t be the next Diane-Sam thing. Just stay away from him and not have anything to do with him.
Steve: Aw, come on! She knows she wants me. And so do you.
Debbie: Right.
Door opens. In walks two ladies, one very skinny, wearing a short red dress. The other, heavier, wearing a long purple dress with a fur material boa. Arguing.
Steve: Hi, what can I get you?
Arguing stops.
Heavy lady: Hey, this is a nice place. And that guy’s cute, too. I’m Lucy Seese.
Thin lady: And I’m Sandra Martin. Oh, I’ll have a, uh- I’ll have a Martini.
Lucy: I’ll have the same, but make mine a double.
Steve: Todd, could you do that? I have to speak with Charlene. Can you meet me in my office?
Charlene: Sure.
Steve: Well, um... listen, I’m sorry about what happened out there. It’s just that, well you’re a very attractive woman.
Charlene: Say no more. I understand. Let’s not have anything to do with each other anymore.
Steve: Well, all right. (Charlene walks way ahead of him) But it won’t be like this for very long...
Charlene walks back behind the bar. She pulls down a glass and fills it with red wine. She begins drinking it frantically.
Lucy: Excuse me, miss. Is everything okay?
Charlene (pushing hair out of face): What? Oh. Yes, everything’s fine.
Sandra: Maybe you should go easy on the drinking.
Charlene (annoyed): Shut up!
Steve walks out of office and behind bar. He sees Charlene, and grabs the glass from her.
Steve: Calm down, girl! You’re going crazy!
Charlene: Shut up!
Steve (jumps back): Sor-ry!
Charlene walks quickly back into the office. Debbie follows.
Debbie: Hey, is everything okay?
Charlene: Everything’s fine! Why does anyone care?
Debbie: No one usually drinks like you. Well, except that Kenneth guy, but that’s another story.
Charlene: It’s just- well... Can I trust you?
Debbie (crossing fingers behind back): Sure.
Charlene: Uncross your fingers.
Debbie (uncrossing fingers): I was only kidding. So... shoot.
Charlene: Well... this is going to be horrible to you.
Debbie: Oh. What is it?
Charlene: I think I have a crush on Steve.
Debbie: Oh my- it can’t be true.
Charlene: Shhh! Not so loud. And please, I beg you, don’t tell!
Debbie: Okay. I promise.
Steve (walking in office): What’s going on in here?
Debbie and Charlene: Nothing!
Steve: Sorry. But you both have jobs to do. Now get out there and do them!
Debbie and Charlene: Okay, Steve. (They walk out)
Charlene (stopping in doorway): Steve?
Steve: Yes... Charlene?
Charlene (pauses): Nothing...
Upside Down World
Cast: Steve Campbell, Charlene McCrumb, Debbie Soflety, Lusy Seese, Sandra Martin, Todd Markline
Scene begins with Steve behind bar making drinks for customer, humming. The door opens and Charlene walks in.
Charlene (looking around): Excuse me. Is Rebecca Howe here?
Steve (Continuing making drinks; doesn’t look at Charlene): Rebecca Howe...? Oh, the previous owner... (Stops, stares at Charlene, mouth drops open)
Charlene: Yes... (Raises eyebrows)
Steve (Shakes head): Oh! Um... oh! Wow... oops! I mean -ahem- Rebecca Howe left to be with her husband, Don Santry. So... um... she’s not Rebecca Howe anymore. You didn’t hear? It was in the newspaper when Sam and everyone left.
Charlene (looking confused): Sam... left?
Steve (Continues making drinks): Yep. I think he got married. I didn’t really pay attention to his part. I was really interested in Rebecca. She’s so beautiful, and she had to go and get married.
Charlene (Dazed-like): Married... wow... Rebecca... She was fabulous. Ever since I was 13, she’s been an idol for me. And Sam was a wonderful owner. I thought he was so cute.
Steve (Stops making drinks; looks up at Charlene, leans over bar): Well. I’m the owner of this bar now. So... now you have someone else to think is cute.
Charlene (Sarcastically chuckles): Right. We don’t even know each other’s names and I think you’re so cute. (Grabs Steve’s collar) Come and take me. (Pushes Steve away and laughs)
Steve (Face red): Well... um... I’m Steve. Steve Campbbell.
Charlene: Why, hello, Steve Campbell. I’m Charlene McCrumb.
Steve’s workers, Debbie and Todd walk in. Charlene looks over and her face softens. The two people look like nice, civilized people.
Debbie and Todd: Hey, Steve.
Steve: Hey! Look, I’d like you to meet Charlene McCrumb. She came in looking for Rebecca Howe, and I had to tell her the news.
Debbie: Oh. Well, I’m Debbie Moore and this is Todd Markline. The three of us are kind of like the recreation of the old Cheers gang. Steve’s the new Sam. I’m the new Carla... except not as mean (Rubs hands together and cackles), and Todd’s the new Woody, only stupider.
Todd: Hey... my name’s Todd, not Woody. What are you talking about?
Debbie: Hasn’t changed, huh?
Charlene (laughing): No.
A pause. Everyone looks at each other and gets used to each other.
Steve: Hey, I have an idea!
Debbie: Uh-oh.
Todd: I have an idea, too.
Steve: Well, what’s yours?
Todd: Uh... I forget.
Steve (Giving Todd a Look): Um... ok then. Anyway, how about we let Charlene work here? She could be a waitress.
Debbie: Hey, Fat face, how do you know she even needs a job?
Todd: Oh, let me ask! Hey, Fat face. Do you need a job?
Debbie: Oh my go. Todd, she’s not the Fat face!
Todd: Then who is?
Debbie: Steve is! And you are, too! And if she (points at Charlene) works here, she’d better watch out, too.
Charlene: Um... well... I do kind of need a job. I was living with my boyfriend, and I had to move out because... um... well, I’ve been looking for a job ever since.
Steve: Why did you have to leave your boyfriend?
Charlene: Umm... I really don’t want to talk about it.
Steve: Aw, come on!
Debbie: If she doesn’t want to talk about it, then FORGET IT!
Steve (looking bewildered): I don’t understand. How come whenever some new person walks into this bar, you hate ‘em. But now there’s her, and you like her!
Debbie (sweetly): I haven’t really gotten to know her. I’ll hate her if she decides to work here.
Charlene (sarcastically): Well, that’s good news.
Steve: Whatever, Debbie. Anyway, do you want the job or not?
Charlene (hesitating, looks around for awhile): Well... all right.
Debbie (evil eye): You’re making a mistake.
Charlene: Oh well. I’ll get used to it.
Steve (leaning over bar again): Why don’t you, uh- grab my collar again and tell me to take you?
Charlene: Nah.
Debbie: Charlene, don’t be the next Diane-Sam thing. Just stay away from him and not have anything to do with him.
Steve: Aw, come on! She knows she wants me. And so do you.
Debbie: Right.
Door opens. In walks two ladies, one very skinny, wearing a short red dress. The other, heavier, wearing a long purple dress with a fur material boa. Arguing.
Steve: Hi, what can I get you?
Arguing stops.
Heavy lady: Hey, this is a nice place. And that guy’s cute, too. I’m Lucy Seese.
Thin lady: And I’m Sandra Martin. Oh, I’ll have a, uh- I’ll have a Martini.
Lucy: I’ll have the same, but make mine a double.
Steve: Todd, could you do that? I have to speak with Charlene. Can you meet me in my office?
Charlene: Sure.
Steve: Well, um... listen, I’m sorry about what happened out there. It’s just that, well you’re a very attractive woman.
Charlene: Say no more. I understand. Let’s not have anything to do with each other anymore.
Steve: Well, all right. (Charlene walks way ahead of him) But it won’t be like this for very long...
Charlene walks back behind the bar. She pulls down a glass and fills it with red wine. She begins drinking it frantically.
Lucy: Excuse me, miss. Is everything okay?
Charlene (pushing hair out of face): What? Oh. Yes, everything’s fine.
Sandra: Maybe you should go easy on the drinking.
Charlene (annoyed): Shut up!
Steve walks out of office and behind bar. He sees Charlene, and grabs the glass from her.
Steve: Calm down, girl! You’re going crazy!
Charlene: Shut up!
Steve (jumps back): Sor-ry!
Charlene walks quickly back into the office. Debbie follows.
Debbie: Hey, is everything okay?
Charlene: Everything’s fine! Why does anyone care?
Debbie: No one usually drinks like you. Well, except that Kenneth guy, but that’s another story.
Charlene: It’s just- well... Can I trust you?
Debbie (crossing fingers behind back): Sure.
Charlene: Uncross your fingers.
Debbie (uncrossing fingers): I was only kidding. So... shoot.
Charlene: Well... this is going to be horrible to you.
Debbie: Oh. What is it?
Charlene: I think I have a crush on Steve.
Debbie: Oh my- it can’t be true.
Charlene: Shhh! Not so loud. And please, I beg you, don’t tell!
Debbie: Okay. I promise.
Steve (walking in office): What’s going on in here?
Debbie and Charlene: Nothing!
Steve: Sorry. But you both have jobs to do. Now get out there and do them!
Debbie and Charlene: Okay, Steve. (They walk out)
Charlene (stopping in doorway): Steve?
Steve: Yes... Charlene?
Charlene (pauses): Nothing...