View Full Version : My Final Swipe At "Gigli"
Okay, I've been pretty hard on the Affleck/Lopez megabomb "Gigli," so I am officially annoucing that I am retiring from the Ben-Lo bashing.
Of course, I couldn't resist one more shot.
Here's something pretty funny:
http://www.msnbc.com/news/1973575.jpg
;)
onefortheroad 08-05-2003, 08:32 PM :rotflmao: that's great!
Brian 08-05-2003, 08:47 PM :rotflmao: :rofl:
automatic princess 08-05-2003, 09:30 PM :lol: :lol:
Janice 08-05-2003, 11:57 PM Originally posted by TJL
so I am officially annoucing that I am retiring from the Ben-Lo bashing.
I'll believe it when I see it. ;)
Hilarious movie poster. :lol: Keep em coming.
Crimson and Clover 08-05-2003, 11:57 PM :lol: :lol:
Cashodeen 08-06-2003, 05:56 AM LOL!
But this really better not be your last Bennifer bash. They are too hilarious to be stopped!
Originally posted by Cashodeen
LOL!
But this really better not be your last Bennifer bash.
Oh heck no!
No more jabs at "Gigli."
At least until the 2003 Hawkeye Awards.
I see a lifetime achievement award for these two...
;)
Cactus Jack 08-06-2003, 08:55 AM Originally posted by TJL
Okay, I've been pretty hard on the Affleck/Lopez megabomb "Gigli," so I am officially annoucing that I am retiring from the Ben-Lo bashing.
Of course, I couldn't resist one more shot.
Here's something pretty funny:
http://www.msnbc.com/news/1973575.jpg
;) :rotflmao:
Cactus Jack 08-06-2003, 08:59 AM Originally posted by TJL
Oh heck no!
No more jabs at "Gigli."
At least until the 2003 Hawkeye Awards.
I see a lifetime achievement award for these two...
;) :rotflmao:
brownsocks 08-06-2003, 07:35 PM Originally posted by TJL
Oh heck no!
No more jabs at "Gigli."
At least until the 2003 Hawkeye Awards.
I see a lifetime achievement award for these two...
;)
wait for jersy girl to come out next summer and bash the hell out of that, but it is Kevin Smith so don't bash it to bad...or silent bob will kick your ass
Brian Damage 08-06-2003, 08:15 PM Sky TV is apparently reporting that Ben and JLo broke up. I don't know how true that is, but it would be pretty funny if it were true. Considering their movie together bombed so bad.
Lizzie McGuire 08-06-2003, 08:46 PM Why everybody making fun of this movie maybe it worst movie or the year i know it come out DVD and VHS in two month just leave this movie alone you thinking I saw this movie i didn't what i heard or this movie I might see it i don't know it and one thing leave Jennifer and Ben alone
onefortheroad 08-06-2003, 09:20 PM Originally posted by Lizzie McGuire
Why everybody making fun of this movie maybe it worst movie or the year i know it come out DVD and VHS in two month just leave this movie alone you thinking I saw this movie i didn't what i heard or this movie I might see it i don't know it and one thing leave Jennifer and Ben alone
um, can you use periods when you type? i didn't understand one thing that you said. i don't know when one sentance is ending, and when one is beginning.
onefortheroad 08-06-2003, 09:21 PM [double post]
Lizzie McGuire 08-06-2003, 09:47 PM oh shut it im just doing my opition about this movie.
Cashodeen 08-07-2003, 07:03 AM Originally posted by Lizzie McGuire
Why everybody making fun of this movie maybe it worst movie or the year i know it come out DVD and VHS in two month just leave this movie alone you thinking I saw this movie i didn't what i heard or this movie I might see it i don't know it and one thing leave Jennifer and Ben alone
You're smart enough to figure out the internet to be posting at a message board. Be smart enough to figure out the PERIOD BUTTON!!!! Oh, and proof reading is also a plus. I don't usually get on people's cases for this stuff (heck I spell stuff wrong all the time), but your posts are nearly impossible to understand.
Janice 08-07-2003, 10:54 AM Originally posted by Cashodeen
You're smart enough to figure out the internet to be posting at a message board. Be smart enough to figure out the PERIOD BUTTON!!!! Oh, and proof reading is also a plus. I don't usually get on people's cases for this stuff (heck I spell stuff wrong all the time), but your posts are nearly impossible to understand.
I agree, and some of you know that a big pet peeve of mine is when someone corrects another's spelling or grammar, but this isn't poor writing skills. It's lazy and inconsiderate....as if, 'You figure it out'.
I skip right by posts like that.
Originally posted by brownsocks
wait for jersy girl to come out next summer and bash the hell out of that, but it is Kevin Smith so don't bash it to bad...or silent bob will kick your ass
I have high hopes for Jersey Girl. I am a fan of Smith's work. When he keeps the Jay and Silent Bob antics to a minimum (like in Chasing Amy) he does some really good stuff.
Anyway, that movie won't be out for several months, and by then the entire Gigli mess will have died down, so I expect it to do very well.
dlemond 08-07-2003, 11:15 AM Originally posted by TJL
I have high hopes for Jersey Girl. I am a fan of Smith's work. When he keeps the Jay and Silent Bob antics to a minimum (like in Chasing Amy) he does some really good stuff.
Anyway, that movie won't be out for several months, and by then the entire Gigli mess will have died down, so I expect it to do very well.
I'm with you on that. I love Chasing Amy.
Jersey Girl will work because Smith can write- and even more so when he is focused on relationships and good witty banter (not angling the slapstick and body function jokes).
I think it will be his most successful film.
Janice 08-07-2003, 11:30 AM Roger Ebert gave Gigli 2.5 stars (out of 4)...a half decent review too. Surprising, considering the pounding the movie has taken and its massive crash and burn at the box office.
He found a few good qualities in the movie.
GIGLI
**1/2 (R)
Larry Gigli: Ben Affleck
Ricki: Jennifer Lopez
Brian: Justin Bartha
Det. Jacobellis: Christopher Walken
Louis: Lenny Venito
Mother: Lainie Kazan
Sony Films presents a film written and directed by Martin Brest. Running time: 124 minutes. Rated R (for sexual content, pervasive language and brief, strong violence).
BY ROGER EBERT
Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck are in love and plan to get married, as you already know unless you are sealed off from all media, in which case you are not reading this review, so put it down. Because they are a famous couple, starring in a movie romance, we expect something conventional and predictable and that is not what we get from "Gigli." The movie tries to do something different, thoughtful, and a little daring with their relationship, and although it doesn't quite work, maybe the movie is worth seeing for some scenes that are really very good.
Consider the matching monologues. They've gotten into an argument over the necessity of the penis, which she, as a lesbian, feels is an inferior device for delivering sexual pleasure. He delivers an extended lecture on the use, necessity and perfect design of the appendage. It is a rather amazing speech, the sort of thing some moviegoers are probably going to want to memorize. Then she responds. She is backlit, dressed in skintight workout clothes, doing yoga, and she continues to stretch and extend and bend and pose as she responds with her speech in praise of the vagina. When she is finished, Reader, the vagina has won, hands down. It is so rare to find dialogue of such originality and wit, so well written, that even though we know the exchange basically involves actors showing off, they do it so well, we let them.
Affleck plays Larry Gigli, rhymes with "Geely," and one wonders, learning that they rejected several earlier titles for the movie, which ones could have been worse than this. He's an errand boy for a tough-talking Los Angeles mobster named Louis (Lenny Venito). Louis wants to do a favor for a New York mob boss, and orders Gigli to kidnap the mentally ******** brother of a federal prosecutor. Gigli does, walking out of a care facility with Brian (Justin Bartha), who has Rain Man's syndrome. He takes him home, there is a knock on the door, and he meets Ricki (Lopez), who is also a mob enforcer. Louis is taking no chances and has assigned both of them to guard the boy.
This is the set-up for an obvious plot that the movie, written by director Martin Brest, wisely avoids. Instead of falling in love and psychically adopting Brian, or (alternate cliche) fighting all the time, Gigli and Ricki get to like each other very, very much, even though she makes it perfectly clear that she is a lesbian. So resolute is the movie in its idea of her character that she doesn't even cave in and have a conversion experience, which is what we're expecting, but remains a lesbian--as indeed, as a good lesbian, she should.
Their conversations take on a rather desperate quality, since Gigli feels lust and love, and she feels strong affection. What transpires between them, and whether they ever put their theories about genitalia through a field test, I will not reveal. Meanwhile, Brian behaves like a well-rehearsed Movie ******** Person, does or doesn't do whatever the script requires, and conveniently disappears into his room when he is not needed.
Lopez and Affleck are sweet and appealing in their performances; the buzz said they didn't have chemistry, but the buzz was wrong. What they don't have is conviction. There is no way these two are killers for the mob. They don't have the disposition for it. And consider this: If you had kidnapped the highly recognizable Rain Man brother of a top federal prosecutor, would you drive him all over Los Angeles in a convertible with the top down, and take him to restaurants and malls?
So the crime plot is completely unconvincing. It does, however, open the door for the movie's collection of inspired supporting performances. Christopher Walken, as a cop who knows Gigli, walks into his apartment and does five minutes of Walkenizing and the audience eats up every second. Lainie Kazan, as Gigli's mother, sizes up Ricky instantly, likes her, learns she is a lesbian, chucks her under the chin and says, "But you've been with guys, right?" Then she talks about her own Highly Experimental youth, while solidifying her position as the ethnic mother of choice in modern American movies. And then toward the end, Starkman, the mob boss from New York, arrives, and is played in a cameo by Al Pacino--who makes the journey from extravagant dopiness to chilling intimidation faster and better than anyone else I can think of.
So the movie doesn't work. The ending especially doesn't work, and what's worse, it doesn't work for a long time, because it fails to work for minute after minute, and includes dialogue which is almost entirely unnecessary. But there is good stuff here. Affleck and Lopez create lovely characters, even if they're not the ones they're allegedly playing, and the supporting performances and a lot of the dialogue is wonderful. It's just that there's too much time between the good scenes. Too much repetitive dialogue. Too many soulful looks. Behavior we can't believe. I wonder what would happen if you sweated 15 minutes out of this movie. Maybe it would work. The materials are there.
Copyright © Chicago Sun-Times Inc.
dlemond 08-07-2003, 11:34 AM Originally posted by Janice
Roger Ebert gave Gigli 2.5 stars (out of 4)...a half decent review too. Surprising, considering the pounding the movie has taken and its massive crash and burn at the box office.
http://www.suntimes.com/cgi-bin/print.cgi
I read that review.
Ebert can be flakey occasionally, not bashing movies that deserve it for some reason. It used to make me wonder about his agenda at times.
With time and distance maybe he will realize that he was being too kind.
Janice 08-07-2003, 11:40 AM Originally posted by dlemond
I read that review.
Ebert can be flakey at times, not bashing movies that deserve it for some reason. It used to make me wonder about his agenda at times.
With time and distance maybe he will realize that he was being too kind.
Could be, but maybe he wrote what he feels about the movie. He doesn't claim it's a good movie, but rather points out what worked as well as what didn't work in the movie.
dlemond 08-07-2003, 11:54 AM Originally posted by Janice
Could be, but maybe he wrote what he feels about the movie. He doesn't claim it's a good movie, but rather points out what worked as well as what didn't work in the movie.
The thing is, how did he give it 2 1/2 stars?
-He said the stars lacked conviction.
-The plot is "completely unconvincing"
-"So the movie doesn't work"
This would merit- in any sane world- no more than 2 stars at the most. And he gives it a half more?
You wonder if he is reviewing the movie or making a personal affection note for himself with this rating.
Janice 08-07-2003, 12:04 PM Originally posted by dlemond
This would merit- in any sane world- no more than 2 stars at the most. And he gives it a half more?
I agree his star rating was a half star over his written review. I think he found some redeeming qualities in the movie that offset the out and out rotten ones.
Lizzie McGuire 08-07-2003, 02:09 PM Originally posted by Cashodeen
You're smart enough to figure out the internet to be posting at a message board. Be smart enough to figure out the PERIOD BUTTON!!!! Oh, and proof reading is also a plus. I don't usually get on people's cases for this stuff (heck I spell stuff wrong all the time), but your posts are nearly impossible to understand.
Oh shut it i can write what i can write and one thing i don't care about my grammer at all and one thing im just hearing bad thing about this movie if you saw this movie if you don't like it keep it to yourself okay, i know it a worst movie of the year maybe i will wacth it maybe i wont.....
Cashodeen 08-07-2003, 10:05 PM Originally posted by Lizzie McGuire
Oh shut it i can write what i can write and one thing i don't care about my grammer at all and one thing im just hearing bad thing about this movie if you saw this movie if you don't like it keep it to yourself okay, i know it a worst movie of the year maybe i will wacth it maybe i wont.....
Let me get this straight: I have to "shut it" but you, Miss Ramble Puss, can say whatever you want???
YOU ARE REALLY OUTER LIMITS!!
Janice 08-07-2003, 10:10 PM Originally posted by Lizzie McGuire
and one thing im just hearing bad thing about this movie if you saw this movie if you don't like it keep it to yourself okay, i know it a worst movie of the year maybe i will wacth it maybe i wont.....
Just in case you missed it the first time.
Lizzie McGuire 08-07-2003, 10:24 PM Originally posted by Cashodeen
Let me get this straight: I have to "shut it" but you, Miss Ramble Puss, can say whatever you want???
YOU ARE REALLY OUTER LIMITS!!
Whatever you said
Lizzie McGuire 08-07-2003, 10:24 PM Originally posted by Janice
Just in case you missed it the first time.
I really saw that thing
You like Lizzy Mcguire. Nough said. THAT SHOW SUCKS! But like you said:
oh shut it im just doing my opition about this movie.
Besides the fact that this statement does not make any sense, I believe the word you are looking for is "opinion". And that is what I am stating.:)
Lizzie McGuire 08-09-2003, 02:33 PM Originally posted by NORM
You like Lizzy Mcguire. Nough said. THAT SHOW SUCKS! But like you said:
Besides the fact that this statement does not make any sense, I believe the word you are looking for is "opinion". And that is what I am stating.:)
Oh one thing it Lizzie not Lizzy and it my favoriteshow it not suck okay maybe you suck
Lizzie McGuire 08-09-2003, 02:33 PM Originally posted by Lizzie McGuire
Oh one thing it Lizzie not Lizzy and it my favorite show it not suck okay maybe you suck
MonarC 08-09-2003, 02:40 PM you have done it again TJL:cheers:
http://www.msnbc.com/news/1973575.jpg
notice the a$$ that rises and falls at the change of movie rolls...:lol:
Oh one thing it Lizzie not Lizzy and it my favoriteshow it not suck okay maybe you suck
How old are you. Cause really dude, your grammer is really bad.
Brian 08-09-2003, 07:41 PM Originally posted by Janice
I agree, and some of you know that a big pet peeve of mine is when someone corrects another's spelling or grammar, but this isn't poor writing skills. It's lazy and inconsiderate....as if, 'You figure it out'.
I skip right by posts like that.
I agree with Janice on this one. As much as I don't like Lizzie McGuire's behavior on this board it annoys me almost as much to see someone correct another person's grammar. He may have trouble with writing skills or may not even be American or English is not his first language. I'm not sticking up for LM's foolish behavior or anything. I don't condone that behavior.
MonarC 08-09-2003, 11:44 PM Originally posted by NORM
How old are you. Cause really dude, your grammer is really bad.
don't worry school will start soon ;)
Lizzie McGuire 08-10-2003, 01:41 PM Originally posted by NORM
How old are you. Cause really dude, your grammer is really bad.
Oh 17 why writing a book leave that chapter out and i don't care about my grammer
Brian Damage 08-10-2003, 01:48 PM Watch Gigli become a cult classic like Showgirls became. You remember how bad that movie was...now it has a small cult like following.
David 08-10-2003, 02:06 PM Originally posted by Lizzie McGuire
Oh 17 why writing a book leave that chapter out and i don't care about my grammer
leave his grammar alone. Its just his grammar, big deal.
MonarC 08-10-2003, 03:00 PM This is from MTV :lol:
It turns out that Jen and Ben might have more success offscreen than on.
"Gigli," the first joint venture of Hollywood's favorite couple, Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck, hit theaters Friday but took a major backseat to the third installment of the raunchy "American Pie" series, "American Wedding."
Meanwhile, "Gigli" tied with "Finding Nemo" at #7, pulling in a humbling $3.8 million. It may be especially humbling because Affleck and Lopez's last films, "Daredevil" and "Maid in Manhattan," respectively, enjoyed #1 debuts. "Gigli" finds Lopez as a lesbian crook who assists Affleck's moronic character in a kidnapping plot. In addition to the low ranking it received at the box office, the Lopez-Affleck effort has been dissed by critics near and far. The New York Times dismissed it as a "hopelessly misconceived exercise in celebrity self-worship," while the Washington Post said it was "enervated, torpid, slack, dreary and, oh yes, nasty, brutish and long."
A REAL stinker :lol:
MonarC 08-10-2003, 03:23 PM Critics roast turkey named ‘Gigli’
Ben-and-Jen feature being called among worst movies ever
By Mark Egan
NEW YORK, July 31 — Call it one of the biggest turkeys of all time. The romance between Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez has captivated the American public, but their first movie together is already being called a low point of cinema history.
How bad is "Gigli"?
America’s critics tell you, in no uncertain terms.
"A recent episode of South Park suggested that a fourth-grader's hand puppet could turn in a better performance than Ms. Lopez, and in the case of Gigli, it's hard to argue." — Luke Y. Thompson, New Times
"Witless, coarse, and vulgar, "Gigli" is worse than its advance buzz could have indicated." — Roger Friedman, FOX News
"Lopez and Affleck try not to smile at each other while gassing on and on until you’re praying, dear God, please make them shut up and do it so we can all go home in peace." — Ella Taylor, LA Weekly
"In case the Razzie Award announcers have any difficulty with the pronunciation, Gigli rhymes with "really." As in ‘really bad,’ or ‘really offensive,’ or ‘really wish I’d remembered my gun so I could just shoot myself now and end the misery.’" — Laine Ewen, Premiere
"Your decision to see "Gigli" really depends on how much you want to see Affleck and Lopez make out...That stomach-turning "Jenny From the Block" video has everything you need, and it's a good two hours shorter." — Mary F. Pols, Contra Costa Times
"Ick, ick and ick, people. Soft-brained and inhumanly dull, "Gigli" has no pace, no drive, none of the dark animal vitality that might have made this tasteless material a guilty pleasure." — Colin Covert, Star Tribune
"Never have I seen such a disasterous (sic) film as this. Martin Brest has finally lost it...this is the worst film that I have seen in about three years." — Ain’t it Cool News
""Gigli" makes "Hudson Hawk" look like a hiccup, "Ishtar" like a minor misstep. It’s the stuff "Mystery Science Theater 3000s" are made of." — Eleanor Ringel Gillespie, Atlanta Journal-Constitution
""Gigli" – which spawned the phenomenon the gossip pages and celebrity magazines so lovingly refer to as "Bennifer" – is every bit as unwatchable as the deafening negative chatter would suggest." — Christy Lemire, AP
"Gigli is so horrible I had to go cleanse my palate afterward by watching 'Glitter.'" — Danny Minton, KBTV-NBC
This is just too funny :lol:
Swimfan85 08-10-2003, 04:16 PM hahah I heard it sucked, I mean just read the plot and you shake your head thinking "Wtf..."
MonarC 08-11-2003, 09:36 PM :lol:
Tammy 08-14-2003, 01:49 AM An 'I Survived Gigli' Farewell Bash (http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&cid=583&ncid=583&e=2&u=/nm/20030813/od_nm/gigli_dc)
"Gigli is so horrible I had to go cleanse my palate afterward by watching 'Glitter.'" — Danny Minton, KBTV-NBC
What's "Glitter"?
Central Perk 08-14-2003, 12:41 PM Originally posted by Tammy
What's "Glitter"?
http://www.imdb.com/Title?0118589
Originally posted by Larry Paul
http://www.imdb.com/Title?0118589
No! Don't look at it! Run away! Run away!
;)
Tammy 08-14-2003, 09:47 PM Lol, thanks for the info and the warning :D I had never heard of it, but then again I'm not a Mariah Carey fan.
musicradio77 08-16-2003, 10:24 PM Originally posted by TJL
Okay, I've been pretty ####### the Affleck/Lopez megabomb "Gigli," so I am officially annoucing that I am retiring from the Ben-Lo bashing.
One thing about that movie "Gigli" with my favorite J-Lo, I've never saw it! I hope that this would happen soon when it comes out on DVD.
musicradio77 08-16-2003, 10:34 PM Originally posted by MonarC
Critics roast turkey named ‘Gigli’
Ben-and-Jen feature being called among worst movies ever
By Mark Egan
NEW YORK, July 31 — Call it one of the biggest turkeys of all time. The romance between Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez has captivated the American public, but their first movie together is already being called a low point of cinema history.
How bad is "Gigli"?
America’s critics tell you, in no uncertain terms.
"A recent episode of South Park suggested that a fourth-grader's hand puppet could turn in a better performance than Ms. Lopez, and in the case of Gigli, it's hard to argue." — Luke Y. Thompson, New Times
"Witless, coarse, and vulgar, "Gigli" is worse than its advance buzz could have indicated." — Roger Friedman, FOX News
"Lopez and Affleck try not to smile at each other while gassing on and on until you’re praying, dear God, please make them shut up and do it so we can all go home in peace." — Ella Taylor, LA Weekly
"In case the Razzie Award announcers have any difficulty with the pronunciation, Gigli rhymes with "really." As in ‘really bad,’ or ‘really offensive,’ or ‘really wish I’d remembered my gun so I could just shoot myself now and end the misery.’" — Laine Ewen, Premiere
"Your decision to see "Gigli" really depends on how much you want to see Affleck and Lopez make out...That stomach-turning "Jenny From the Block" video has everything you need, and it's a good two hours shorter." — Mary F. Pols, Contra Costa Times
"Ick, ick and ick, people. Soft-brained and inhumanly dull, "Gigli" has no pace, no drive, none of the dark animal vitality that might have made this tasteless material a guilty pleasure." — Colin Covert, Star Tribune
"Never have I seen such a disasterous (sic) film as this. Martin Brest has finally lost it...this is the worst film that I have seen in about three years." — Ain’t it Cool News
""Gigli" makes "Hudson Hawk" look like a hiccup, "Ishtar" like a minor misstep. It’s the stuff "Mystery Science Theater 3000s" are made of." — Eleanor Ringel Gillespie, Atlanta Journal-Constitution
""Gigli" – which spawned the phenomenon the gossip pages and celebrity magazines so lovingly refer to as "Bennifer" – is every bit as unwatchable as the deafening negative chatter would suggest." — Christy Lemire, AP
"Gigli is so horrible I had to go cleanse my palate afterward by watching 'Glitter.'" — Danny Minton, KBTV-NBC
This is just too funny :lol:
Thanks for that info. I've never seen J-Lo and Ben Affelick in "Gigli" at either the Hudson Valley Mall or in Red Hook at the Lyceum. I read it in the Daily News that the film was a total disaster. I saw the movie schedule that "Gigli" had removed from the lineup. That's sad. As for "Glitter", I have it on video where they showed the World Trade Center appeared when it was released shortly following 9/11/01. That was a disapointed film. I have the movie on tape. If "Gigli" is not good enough, I hope it will be on DVD very soon.
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