I actually would like any advice if anyone else has gone through this. This guy I dated back in highschool has been stalking me for years now. Not physically really - what happened was we went out in highschool, then I dumped him cuz it just wasn't working out and I thought he was following me around too much. Since I dumped him he went on the internet, found my college, found my email and phone number and has been sending me messages ever since, telling me how much he misses me and how he can't wait to see me again. Even moving to Europe hasn't stopped him! I still get emails from him all the time telling me how much he misses me and how he's sure we're going to be together forever. I have been trying to ignore him, but he just isn't going away. Does anyone have any advice? Has anyone else gone through this? Or am I just lucky ;)

Get a BIG MEAN dog. ;) Seriously, can't you get an protection order so he can't bother you?

Originally posted by bandito
Get a BIG MEAN dog. ;) Seriously, can't you get an protection order so he can't bother you?
Do you mean "Restraining Order"?

Originally posted by M82A1
Do you mean "Restraining Order"? That's it!

..Not that I know of. If I do they've been pretty good at hiding it.

Ive had this guy always come into my work and ask me out (keep turning him down) but nothing serious


gezze some people are so sketchy...look into blocks on email and stuff

ive had more than my fair share...none lately though

get a restraining order. or tell someone

I had a video teacher a few years ago who kept showing up places and following me until it got really bad...you need to tell someone now before you're stuck and have to handle it yourself because that isnt fun.

Oh boy, yeah, I have. I dont know that the police would get a restraining order for you, would they? I dont know how bad it has to get, but my friend had to have physical evidence of physical harm to her. I'm not sure how it is there, though.

I guess I sort of do. There's this guy that likes me and I went out with him once but he messed things up for himself because at the end of the date I had a voicemail and I made the mistake of listening to it. It was from my friend about a giant inside joke we had and when he asked what the message was about I told him nothing. He kept bugging me about it so I just changed the subject. Then later that night he IM'd my friend and asked her what the message was about. A few days later he asked if I could hang out and I told him I couldn't and then he called some of my friends and asked if we were hanging out. I know it's not really stalking but it's creepy to me and starting to get on my nerves.

See, I dont want to get a restraining order because that's going REALLY far - and I know he's harmless. Anyway, I'm certainly in no physical harm right now, living on a different continent. It's just he still sends me email and apparently he still IMs all of my friends asking when I'm coming back. I suppose I should just block his emails. I just hope he doesn't get too crazy. :(

Back in January I got an email from someone saying they were from my high school and they were too shy to ask me out in person.

He wouldn't tell me who he was or anything about him that would give me a clue as to his identity.

I talked to him for about 2 month's.

Everytime I tried to figure out who he was he kept saying I don't want to talk about me I want to talk about you. He dodged all questions about his identity.

He said he saw me in a grocery store outside of school in May 2002 with my mom's boyfriend. I found out he worked there.

He talked to my mom's boyfriend several times. My mom's bf tried to figure out who he was and asked him for a copy of his drivers license.

The only people who knew I was talking to him were my mom and her boyfriend.

He told me my mom's bf asked for his drivers license and that he gave it to him.

My mom's bf told me he never gave him a copy of the drivers license. I had 2 different stories about the drivers license.

When I asked the guy with story was true, he said my mom's bf's was.

He spilled his guts that afternoon.

He saw my mom's bf and me at a grocery store and overheard a conversation where he got my first name.

Then he spent month's looking for my address, phone number, email address, he found them using google.

He never went to my high school, everything he told me was a lie, even what state he lived in, he ended up being about 20 years older than I am. He says when he saw me that day in the grocery store he fell in love with me and he doesn't know if he will ever feel like that ever again.

My mom's bf is pretty mad at him. Hasn't seen him since, but when he does he better watch out. The guy is trying to avoid seeing my mom's bf. My mom's bf said if he really feels like it he will be able to find him.

My mom's bf doesn't believe that he is as old as he says he is because he doesn't look like he's that old. And asked for my yearbook to see if he was in there and he said there was someone who looks like him in there.

Whoever he is either way he lied.

~~~~~~~~~

Anyway you should probably tell someone like I did. My mom's bf stepped in because he was suspisious of this guy not telling me about himself, and scared him into telling the truth if it is the truth. I haven't heard from him since, but if I do I can block his emails.

Originally posted by Liza
See, I dont want to get a restraining order because that's going REALLY far - and I know he's harmless. Anyway, I'm certainly in no physical harm right now, living on a different continent. It's just he still sends me email and apparently he still IMs all of my friends asking when I'm coming back. I suppose I should just block his emails. I just hope he doesn't get too crazy. :(


That's a good idea. Block his e-mail addresss. You should probably advise your friends to block his IMs, too.

Originally posted by Liza
See, I dont want to get a restraining order because that's going REALLY far - and I know he's harmless. Anyway, I'm certainly in no physical harm right now, living on a different continent. It's just he still sends me email and apparently he still IMs all of my friends asking when I'm coming back. I suppose I should just block his emails. I just hope he doesn't get too crazy. :(

Look into studying Aikido or some other martial art. If he ever does get too crazy, you'll be able to handle it. ;)

Originally posted by Max Whittaker
Look into studying Aikido or some other martial art. If he ever does get too crazy, you'll be able to handle it. ;)

not a bad idea! ;)

at least carry mace, and at home- think oven cleaner or Pam, can't be too careful.

Ive never been stalked, but if I was Id tell the police. Its flattering at the beginning, but then it just becomes scary.

Originally posted by Max Whittaker
Look into studying Aikido or some other martial art. If he ever does get too crazy, you'll be able to handle it. ;)
Aikido is way too passive. I'm thinking about taking Krav Maga.

Originally posted by Blair_Warner02
Back in January I got an email from someone saying they were from my high school and they were too shy to ask me out in person.

He wouldn't tell me who he was or anything about him that would give me a clue as to his identity.

I talked to him for about 2 month's.

Everytime I tried to figure out who he was he kept saying I don't want to talk about me I want to talk about you. He dodged all questions about his identity.

He said he saw me in a grocery store outside of school in May 2002 with my mom's boyfriend. I found out he worked there.

He talked to my mom's boyfriend several times. My mom's bf tried to figure out who he was and asked him for a copy of his drivers license.

The only people who knew I was talking to him were my mom and her boyfriend.

He told me my mom's bf asked for his drivers license and that he gave it to him.

My mom's bf told me he never gave him a copy of the drivers license. I had 2 different stories about the drivers license.

When I asked the guy with story was true, he said my mom's bf's was.

He spilled his guts that afternoon.

He saw my mom's bf and me at a grocery store and overheard a conversation where he got my first name.

Then he spent month's looking for my address, phone number, email address, he found them using google.

He never went to my high school, everything he told me was a lie, even what state he lived in, he ended up being about 20 years older than I am. He says when he saw me that day in the grocery store he fell in love with me and he doesn't know if he will ever feel like that ever again.

My mom's bf is pretty mad at him. Hasn't seen him since, but when he does he better watch out. The guy is trying to avoid seeing my mom's bf. My mom's bf said if he really feels like it he will be able to find him.

My mom's bf doesn't believe that he is as old as he says he is because he doesn't look like he's that old. And asked for my yearbook to see if he was in there and he said there was someone who looks like him in there.

Whoever he is either way he lied.

~~~~~~~~~

Anyway you should probably tell someone like I did. My mom's bf stepped in because he was suspisious of this guy not telling me about himself, and scared him into telling the truth if it is the truth. I haven't heard from him since, but if I do I can block his emails.

Wow....that had to have been awful and scary for you! :eek:

Originally posted by M82A1
Aikido is way too passive. I'm thinking about taking Krav Maga.

:livid: :nonono: It is true aikido's philosophy is centered around peace and harmony. But have you ever been on the receiving end of one the techniques? Let me tell you, it is not fun! Even when you have learned how to fall properly you will still leave the dojo sore. If the guy attacks Liza with violent intent and no knowledge of how to defend himself against a fall, he'll certainly think twice before trying anything again.


Still, Aikido is a martial art that cannot be learned quickly. There are others that might suit your self-defence need quicker.

Edited: Krav maga is not a martial art. More self-defence. No philosophy I can see.

Originally posted by Max Whittaker
Krav maga is not a martial art. More self-defence. No philosophy I can see.
Aren't all martial arts; self-defense?

I actually took a year of karate back in highschool. I didn't go very far, but I can kick ;) And I do carry mace back home (I go to a big university afterall). But I really don't feel physically threatened by him at all. I'm honestly more worried about him doing something to himself. He's not suicidal but I wouldn't put it past him to threaten it to get attention.

Liza, I can tell by your last post that you're concerning yourself with his well being above and beyond the call of reasonable duty. That's commendable, but it's not in your power to do anything about. I think Brian gave you the best if not ony advice that you could take in this situation. Block his emails and ask your friends to block his IM's. Someone who is this obsessed with someone who gives them no feedback doesn't need placating. They need to be cut off so that they can either move on or go on. Either way, it's out of your hands.
I can tell from afar why he has such a cush on you though.;) You're obviously a sweety. :o But! Please do what you have to do.:)

Originally posted by M82A1
Aren't all martial arts; self-defense?

Yes. But the contemporary definiton of martial arts tends to lean more toward the spiritual aspect of the training in addition to the defensive.

From what I've read about Krav maga you'd do really well and will probably enjoy it. But it is not a martial art.

Originally posted by Liza
I actually took a year of karate back in highschool. I didn't go very far, but I can kick ;) And I do carry mace back home (I go to a big university afterall). But I really don't feel physically threatened by him at all. I'm honestly more worried about him doing something to himself. He's not suicidal but I wouldn't put it past him to threaten it to get attention.

Well, I hope everything works out.

Originally posted by Kitt
Liza, I can tell by your last post that you're concerning yourself with his well being above and beyond the call of reasonable duty. That's commendable, but it's not in your power to do anything about. I think Brian gave you the best if not ony advice that you could take in this situation. Block his emails and ask your friends to block his IM's. Someone who is this obsessed with someone who gives them no feedback doesn't need placating. They need to be cut off so that they can either move on or go on. Either way, it's out of your hands. I can tell from afar why he has such a cush on you though.;) You're obviously a sweety. :o But! Please do what you have to do.:)

Aww, thanks Kitt!

I think you're right though, I shouldn't still be reading his emails, and although I tell my friends to ignore him, they should block him too. I haven't been replying to any of his messages, but I do still read them. I shouldn't anymore. I've moved on ;)

Thanks guys for all your advice! :)

in NYC, there was this guy i saw EVERYWHERE! i dont kno if he was stalking me, or it was a coincidence

when i was in 7th and 8th grade there was this guy that was obsessed with me. i don't know if he stalked me or not as far as finding my phone number and address and stuff... but he WOULD NOT leave me alone. EVER. in 8th grade he was in my language arts class and he tried to sit by me whenever he could. one time we had to write about our favorite person for homework and he wrote about me, which was a lil scary. and he copied EVERYTHING i did. he tried to act like me, he watched the same shows i watched, he started cussing right after he heard me cuss... he's 2 years younger than me and im gonna be a freshman next year so i wont see him, thank god.

Back in 1996; I had this old man, who went to the same nightclub as myself, who fell in love with me. I wanted nothing to do with this creep, because he was in his late 50's and I was only 20 .

He found out where I lived, harrassed my family, friends and my boyfriend, made up this HORRIBLE lie that I was working as a call girl and that I was doing drugs; he even called the police to have me arrested because I was doing tricks for a living.
He even went back to the same club and told everybody that I was a major slut, hooker and that I was crazy.
I became fed up and called the police, filed a restraining order, had him 86 from the club,.

He was a total weirdo jerk from hell. It came to the point where I had the San Diego police department involved.

But since 1996, I have not heard or seen him

not really... there was this 1 girl at school that wanted to be my friend, and would always follow me around, but she's moved now.

Originally posted by foxyhonky1975
Back in 1996; I had this old man, who went to the same nightclub as myself, who fell in love with me. I wanted nothing to do with this creep, because he was in his late 50's and I was only 20 .

He found out where I lived, harrassed my family, friends and my boyfriend, made up this HORRIBLE lie that I was working as a call girl and that I was doing drugs; he even called the police to have me arrested because I was doing tricks for a living.
He even went back to the same club and told everybody that I was a major slut, hooker and that I was crazy.
I became fed up and called the police, filed a restraining order, had him 86 from the club,.

He was a total weirdo jerk from hell. It came to the point where I had the San Diego police department involved.

But since 1996, I have not heard or seen him

Wow.

Good for you. But, getting a restraining order - that goes on their record, right? See, I've thought about it, but I don't want to do something to him that would follow him around forever. He's not scary (in that sense anyway) but when he says he has a picture of me by his bed so I'm the first thing he sees in the morning... well... Am I the only person who saw FATAL ATTRACTION??? :eek: ;)

He, Liza, wohnt er in Deutschland auch?

Originally posted by M82A1
He, Liza, wohnt er in Deutschland auch?

Nein (Danke Gott!) Er war mein Freund als ich in der Hohschule war (in Michigan). Als ich bin hier, ich habe emails von ihn bekommen. Er sagte dass er mochte hier fliegen, aber ich habe nichts gesagt zu ihn. Er weisst nicht wo ich wohne, und ich werde nicht mit ihn sprechen. ;)



I'll say this in English cuz anyone's welcome to put in their opinions on this story: he had my phone number last year, and my roommate answered the phone. My new line with him was "Tell him I'm in Europe!" she did. She told him I was moving to Germany. Know what he did? He came! He got an internship for a few weeks and flew to Germany! (At least, he said he did) but - hehe, he was there a month before I came, so he was gone by the time I arrived :lol:

But, folks, this isn't normal. :rolleyes:

Originally posted by Liza
Nein (Danke Gott!) Er war mein Freund als ich in der Hohschule war (in Michigan). Als ich bin hier, ich habe emails von ihn bekommen. Er sagte dass er mochte hier fliegen, aber ich habe nichts gesagt zu ihn. Er weisst nicht wo ich wohne, und ich werde nicht mit ihn sprechen. ;)



I'll say this in English cuz anyone's welcome to put in their opinions on this story: he had my phone number last year, and my roommate answered the phone. My new line with him was "Tell him I'm in Europe!" she did. She told him I was moving to Germany. Know what he did? He came! He got an internship for a few weeks and flew to Germany! (At least, he said he did) but - hehe, he was there a month before I came, so he was gone by the time I arrived :lol:

But, folks, this isn't normal. :rolleyes:
Wenn ich Sie war, nie wurde ich ihm erklaren wo ich lebe.

Originally posted by M82A1
Wenn ich Sie war, nie wurde ich ihm erklaren wo ich lebe.

Naturlich! Aber, wenn ich zuruck kommen (an meine Uni) er kann meine Adresse finden weil es ist an der MSU Webpage. Das ist wie er kennt mein Nummer letztes Jahr.

I think this is a sign I need to take up German...:talk:

Originally posted by Max Whittaker
I think this is a sign I need to take up German...:talk:
lol, ditto.

Originally posted by Max Whittaker
I think this is a sign I need to take up German...:talk:

:lol: Sorry!

We were just saying how I shouldn't tell him where I live, and I don't - I don't even speak to him, but he can find my address off of my college website. M8 asked me if he was from Germany, and no - he's from Michigan, but he came here looking for me :rolleyes: He didn't find me though! :cool:

Originally posted by Liza
:lol: Sorry!

We were just saying how I shouldn't tell him where I live, and I don't - I don't even speak to him, but he can find my address off of my college website. M8 asked me if he was from Germany, and no - he's from Michigan, but he came here looking for me :rolleyes: He didn't find me though! :cool:
Are they allowed to give your address to complete strangers?!?

Originally posted by M82A1
Are they allowed to give your address to complete strangers?!?

All anyone needs to know is my full name, then they can go on the webpage, do a search, and it's all there. My name, my major, my email, and my address. It's meant to be there so students can contact each other and their professors, but I don't think it's that great an idea :mad:

Originally posted by Liza
All anyone needs to know is my full name, then they can go on the webpage, do a search, and it's all there. My name, my major, my email, and my address. It's meant to be there so students can contact each other and their professors, but I don't think it's that great an idea :mad:
Ja, ist die eine Verletzung der Privatspare.

Originally posted by M82A1
Ja, ist die eine Verletzung der Privatspare.

Genau! Aber was kann ich tun? :confused:

Originally posted by Liza
Genau! Aber was kann ich tun? :confused:
Gut konnten Sie um um Ihre Schule bitten, um nicht aus irgendwelchen Ihrer personlichen Informationen zu geben.

Originally posted by Liza
Wow.

Good for you. But, getting a restraining order - that goes on their record, right? See, I've thought about it, but I don't want to do something to him that would follow him around forever. He's not scary (in that sense anyway) but when he says he has a picture of me by his bed so I'm the first thing he sees in the morning... well... Am I the only person who saw FATAL ATTRACTION??? :eek: ;)
Yeah that goes on his record, I did not know what state you live in, but in California, they are really tough on anyone who stalks or harrasses innocent individuals.

Well, it's starting to turn out that way. :eek:

Originally posted by pandora_spocks
Well, it's starting to turn out that way. :eek:

I think that Dorothy will apologize, and stop after she reads everything in the "Bye..." post. ;)

Originally posted by Ravey
I think that Dorothy will apologize, and stop after she reads everything in the "Bye..." post. ;)

Dood man you totally just dont know.

Originally posted by Ravey
I think that Dorothy will apologize, and stop after she reads everything in the "Bye..." post. ;)

This obviously turned into one of those well if i can't have you no one else will things. I mean come on this chick lied about who she is. Her age, where she lives, her name. I mean come on what else do you need?

i had stalker about 2 years ago. he was from my church. it was while my youth group was gone to church camp. i honestly couldnt escape him. everytime i turned around, there he was. people had to stay around me all the time and the chaperones wouldn't let me go anywhere by myself because they were afraid for me. some of the other kids in the group told him to leave me alone and not to bother me, and that i didnt want anything to do with him, but he still followed me around. everytime we went somewhere, people would save me a seat between two other people as far away from him as i could be. and even then he would ask to swap seats, but they wouldn't let him. i mean, there was this one time when me and two of the girls were walking to a meeting, and we were taking the long and out of the way route....when low and behold, we turn around and he is about 10 yrds behind us. that happened almost everywhere i went. when we got home, they even called my mom and told her about all of it, and she's still very skeptical of the guy even though it dosent go one anymore.

Just trieing to look on the bright side. But I guess your right, there really is no bright side to this...

Originally posted by foxyhonky1975
Yeah that goes on his record, I did not know what state you live in, but in California, they are really tough on anyone who stalks or harrasses innocent individuals.

It would be in Michigan. I don't know though - I don't have any evidence of him physically threatening me, although - all of my friends do know him as "Emily's Stalker" :rolleyes: :(

Ok, i just have to get this out. I am not a stalker, Yes, what i did was wrong but i never stalked her.

A stalker is someone who follows you around, calls you all of the time, watches your every move, pesters you all of the time. i never did eny of those things. I never e-mailed her or IMed her all of the time, and it was not one of those "if i can't have you, no one else will" things, i just wanted her attention, but i tried to get it the wrong way. So how can i be a stalker. Yes, my name is Dorothy, I'm 18 and i live in Madisonville Texas. And yes, i have learned from my mistake and i know it was a stupid thing to do...And i'm sorry.

I had to get that off of my chest.

I don't think this is stalking but it was still creepy and annoying as hell.

My senior year, there was this one guy who'd always follow me around. He'd seem to always show up in the classes I was in, every time he caught a glimpse of me he'd come up and start walking with me. Whenever I wouldn't be at school (which was most of the time) he'd always ask my friends where I was. If I didn't come to a voluntary teacher's aid that he went to, he'd come looking for me. He'd look over my shoulder at what websites I'd be at in study hall. He'd always try to sit next to me at lunch... He tried to get me to go with him for off campus lunch, and he'd always ask where I'd be going for lunch and conveniently show up there. Every time I saw him he'd be staring at me... he was always everywhere I was, even though I told him I had a boyfriend. People thought he was my boyfriend because he was always around me. Teachers and students dubbed him my shadow. It was really annoying...

Well kind of.I wouldn't say she was my stalker per say but there was this girl in like 2 grade who was totally obsessed with me.I wouldn't say she STALKED me but yeah.

Originally posted by Sitcomwriter
Well kind of.I wouldn't say she was my stalker per say but there was this girl in like 2 grade who was totally obsessed with me.I wouldn't say she STALKED me but yeah.

Aww.. 8 year old girls will be that way.

Originally posted by Liza
It would be in Michigan. I don't know though - I don't have any evidence of him physically threatening me, although - all of my friends do know him as "Emily's Stalker" :rolleyes: :( Is your name Emily?:) I don't think you've told us that before.

Originally posted by Kitt
Is your name Emily?:) I don't think you've told us that before.

LOL, yes it is :) I've said it on a few posts, but not many. Hi Kitt, nice to meet ya ;) :wave:

I've never had a stalker that I'm aware of

Originally posted by Liza
LOL, yes it is :) I've said it on a few posts, but not many. Hi Kitt, nice to meet ya ;) :wave: Hi Emily, nice to meet you too.:)