whoooosh! the best one..( one of the best ones) lol
JACK: [ENTERING, SPEAKING VERY QUICKLY AND SCATTERED] "Hey, friends, lovers, mothers, and other strangers. You're never going to believe what happened to me. :eek: Oh, my gosh! Did you see that? I almost did the half nelson. I almost bruised my delicates, my delicates, my domo arigato Mr. Tomatoes. Huge news! I have met-- Are you ready for this? Mr. Right. Well, Mr. Right-Now, anyway. Ba-da-bum! Good night, folks, I'm here all week. Jack 2000! He works over at the Jumpin' Java. You know that coffee shop on 72nd? And his name is Paul. He is cute with a capital 'Q'! And the busier it gets, the hotter he gets. And the hotter he gets, the sweatier he gets. And the sweatier he gets-- I forgot where I'm going with this, but the point is... Me likey he, and he likey me. And the best part is--Shazam-- he gives me free iced coffee every time I go in, which is every hour on the hour. Thank you very much! And occasionally on the half hour!" [SING-SONG] "Bah-da-da-da-da! Blblblbt!" :lol: :lol:

Rosario: (To Karen) I'm going to go make you a peanut butter and poison sandwich.

Rosario: (To Karen) Oh by the way i poisoned an onion ring.

Grace: (In bed distraught with her relationship will Woody Harrelson) (To Karen) Look what he wrote to me (now she starts crying) We...... We need milk.

Grace: (To Rosario) (While she was watching her childhood slides)
Open your eyes you stupid idiot no one is ever going to love you.

Will: Or you'll say you want a baby or something Sally Jessy stupid like that.

Jack: (next to the table outside the hallway he calls his restaurant) Today's lunch special is Hot Pockets.

Grace: Mother shield up, judgement deflector activated.

Karen: Grace, you've been quiet. (she just came in)

Karen: Where the hell have you been?
Rosario: Riding a llama in Neverland. Where do you think? I was cleaning.

Karen: Well, if it makes you feel any better, I'm devastated, too.
Jack: Mmm, it does, thanks.

Karen: [sympathetically] Oh, Grace...
Grace: What?
Karen: Nothing, I just thought it needed an "Oh, Grace".

Grace: This was my puppy, BoBo. He got run over by a truck. Lucky bastard.

Jack: I don't know how much longer I can live with Will. I mean, every time I get in the shower with him he's like, Jack, get the hell out.
Karen: I know honey, Grace is driving me nuts too. She can't concentrate on work anymore, she just sits around all day, doodling pictures of people's houses, on these enormous sketch pads. And then, she's on the phone all the time ordering furniture. Honey, where's she going to put all that, huh? In those "houses" she's drawing?

[after seeing Karen's mother]
Rosario: Santa Maria, it has a mother!

Karen: What do you mean you brought me in here to tell me my kid's on the honor roll?

Jack: [to Grace] I thought you were big foot's cousin big hair

Karen: I know! Let's take pictures of us eating all this food and then show it to some homeless person!
Jack: Karen! You are such a female Jesus!

Karen: [looks at Grace's outfit, stares for a while] Honey... we've discussed this blouse...

Karen: I'm not good or real... I'm evil, and imaginary.

Karen: I thought, finally! A man who can make a woman feel like a girl. And who can make that girl feel like a slut. And who can make that slut feel like a woman.

Karen: [to Will] Honey, I thought you were a lawyer. Why are you living in the projects?

Karen: [to Will] Oh honey, I have a fake laugh with your name written all over it.

I have alot but my ALL time favorite is this one
(just fyi I'm a HUGE Nicole Kidman fan so this joke REALLLY cracked me up)
Jack: (to Leo) you May have Penelope Cruzed you're way in But You can JUST as Easily be Mimi Rogered Out

I just like the whole episode where Jack and Will do the play with the lesbians

These are all my favourites
Will: C-3PO wasn't gay, he was British!
Grace: Jack's mother is going to be joining us, and she doesn't know Jack's gay.
Karen: How could she not know? What is she, headless?
Karen: Good Lord. I can't believe I'm at a public pool. Why doesn't somebody just pee directly on me?
[Trying to start up her Uncle Jerry's old car]
Grace: Okay, here we go...that's weird. Will, what do you think is wrong?
Karen: Oh, my God. She just asked a Fairy an engine question. We're all gonna die in this car.
Will: Karen, you're not going to die. It would take a silver bullet and a wooden stake to do that.
[WILL AND GRACE ARE ON TOP OF EACH OTHER ON THE COUCH, FIGHTING OVER THE PHONE.]
WILL: Give me a hand with it or I'm dead!
GRACE: Ow! You're hurting me with it!
WILL: You're going to break it!
JACK: Will, I told you. You live with a hetero long enough, you're going to catch it.
WILL: No. No, Jack has the most finely tuned gaydar in the tri-state area.
JACK: Now, there is one question you can ask that will reveal the truth. I hesitate to share this secret with you, for it has awesome power.
GRACE: What would that question be?
JACK: [INHALES DEEPLY] Are... You... Gay?
WILL: Thank you, Homo Wan Kenobi.
Grace: Oh my god! Porcelain is British and he's cute!
Jack: Oh my god! He's GAY and he's gonna be my lover.
[Will & Grace are fighting over the same guy (Peter)]
PETER: [TO GRACE] You know, you have the most beautiful smile.
GRACE: Oh, it's--it's a little crooked. [SMILES BIG]
PETER: Now, so was Audrey Hepburn's.
GRACE: Oh, come on now. I hate my smile. [SMILES BIGGER]
WILL: Well, then, stop smiling.
[GRACE just found out that Will is gay.]
WILL: Don't you see what complement that is? I mean I LOVE you! So if I can't make work with you than I can't make it work with any women because your perfect for me!
Grace: That's not a complement! A compliment is 'you're sexy', 'you turn me on', not 'one look at you proves I'm a queer'!
[Jack has been annoying Will.]
Jack: Ooh. Barracuda. What crawled up your coolats?
Will: Nothing crawled up my coolats. It's just that you're two inches from my head, polluting my brain with your inane ramblings and buzzing through those chips like some queer gopher.
[Jack's idol Cher approaches Jack.]
Cher: Ya know dude, it is a little weird that you are talking to my doll.
Jack: Um I don't think that I need a drag queen to define normal behavior. But I will say this, the look, is flawless!
Cher: Whatever.
Jack: Ohh! Working the attitude! OK, you're good.
Cher: I've had a lot of practice.
Jack: Hey hey! You're not that great Mister Sister! I do a better Cher than you.
Cher: Ya think so?
Jack: Actually it's "You think so, hooooooooooooooe"
Cher: Are you kidding me with this?
Jack: OK, the hand is perfect, but it's more "are you kidding me with this, hoooooooooooe"
Cher: Get a life.
[walks away then turns around]
Cher: [sings] If I could turn back time.
Jack: [clears throat to sing] If I could turn back time, hoooooooooooe. Time hoooooooe! Time hoooooe! Time hoooooe!
Cher: Snap out of it!
Grace: [sobbing] I feel like I'm in the Twilight Zone! And all the people are pigs! And I'm the pretty one, but everyone thinks I'm ugly because they're all pigs and they think pigs are pretty!
Bill: Jack! You're hitting on me!
Jack: I'm shocked. And appalled. But are you interested?
Jack: I can't believe I'm 30. Do you know how much that is in gay years?
Jack: I bitch-slapped the law, and the law won!
[Describing his ideal man.]
Jack: I don't care if he's rich or poor, fat or thin, as long as he's rich and thin!
[On seeing Jack in an orange jump suit and carrying a garbage bag]
Will: And they say Tinky Winky was the only gay Teletubby!
[Jack has just seen Karen's enormous closet for the first time]
Jack: My God. If my closet were like this I never would have come out of it.
Jack: You shouldn't be dancing with him! He's not your stalker, your stalker is still at large!
Kevin Bacon: But you fingered this guy.
Jack: I did not! We were just holding hands. Your stalker has been throwing pebbles at your window for the past 15 minutes or maybe you didn't hear me because the music was so loud!
Kevin Bacon: You...you're my stalker!
Jack: I prefer the term 'Professional Crazed Fan'. A job that's a hell of a lot more satisfying than sewing Prada labels in your Old Navy shirts! Go get yourself a new assistant. If you need me, I'll be in your hamper!
Karen: [on hiring Jack to play a straight man in a commercial] No one in the world would believe you're straight. You're as gay as a clutchpurse on Tony night. You fell outta the gay tree, hitting every gay branch on the way down. And ya landed on a gay guy... and ya did 'em. No, no, honey, your gayness can be seen from space!
[Watching the first gay kiss on network TV]
Jack: This is bigger than the moon landing.
Will: One giant leap for man-on-man kind.
Karen: Jack I've spent years and my husbands millions learning about fashion. What are your qualifications?
Jack: I'm gay.
Karen: Oh honey what would I do without you?
Karen: Looks like your new sweetie's turned his back on homosexuals. And not in a good way.
[Karen sees a cross above]
Karen: Don't listen.
Karen: It's a cult, like the Moonies, or the homeless.
Karen: They're trying to turn gay people straight! Do they have any idea what this will do to the fall line?
Will: What, is the whole city gay?
Jack: Not yet, but if all goes according to plan, come tomorrow morning ..muhahaha!
Jack: Sex is a drug, Karen. I should know. I'm a licensed dealer.
Jack: I can't get married on twenty thousand dollars! My dress alone will cost fifteen!

Sorry I got so much. :happyface :happyface :happyface

Originally posted by Karen&HerPoodle
[Jack's idol Cher approaches Jack.]
Cher: Ya know dude, it is a little weird that you are talking to my doll.
Jack: Um I don't think that I need a drag queen to define normal behavior. But I will say this, the look, is flawless!
Cher: Whatever.
Jack: Ohh! Working the attitude! OK, you're good.
Cher: I've had a lot of practice.
Jack: Hey hey! You're not that great Mister Sister! I do a better Cher than you.
Cher: Ya think so?
Jack: Actually it's "You think so, hooooooooooooooe"
Cher: Are you kidding me with this?
Jack: OK, the hand is perfect, but it's more "are you kidding me with this, hoooooooooooe"
Cher: Get a life.
[walks away then turns around]
Cher: [sings] If I could turn back time.
Jack: [clears throat to sing] If I could turn back time, hoooooooooooe. Time hoooooooe! Time hoooooe! Time hoooooe!
Cher: Snap out of it!


Oh God, I love that one too :lol:

I can't think of any exact quotes right now, but here's one I love from one I was watching recently:
[Grace walks in wearing a skirt that resembles a cow]
Karen: Whoa, got skirt?

There's too many I love, so even if I could think of them all right now they'd take up too much room :D

~Being the HUGE Buffy, the Vampire Slayer fan that I am, two of my most fave quotes relate to that:

GRACE: [READING A MAGAZINE] You know, Sarah Michelle Gellar is really smart. I mean, at the beginning of this interview, she's just talkin' about stuff, like where she gets her highlights, but then she starts in on foreign affairs and campaign finance reform. I'm gonna say it... She's a genius.

WILL: Let me see that. [WILL FLIPS THROUGH THE MAGAZINE] Hmm... Interesting. Yeah. See? these pages are stuck together. You've been reading an interview with John McCain. Here's the rest of Sarah Michelle.

~Then they go on to banter about what candidate they will support in the upcoming election. Will tells Grace he wants to support a gay candidate. Grace asks all kinds of "political-type" questions about the candidate, to which Will replies:

WILL: What do you care? You thought Buffy was in a prisoner of war camp.

~And then there's also:

JACK: Oh, my God. I love TV. Buffy is my life.

Just look at my signature. It's one of my favorite scences.

lol..I love that quote..it's in my info (on aim..)

Originally posted by doppelgangwillow
~Being the HUGE Buffy, the Vampire Slayer fan that I am, two of my most fave quotes relate to that:

GRACE: [READING A MAGAZINE] You know, Sarah Michelle Gellar is really smart. I mean, at the beginning of this interview, she's just talkin' about stuff, like where she gets her highlights, but then she starts in on foreign affairs and campaign finance reform. I'm gonna say it... She's a genius.

WILL: Let me see that. [WILL FLIPS THROUGH THE MAGAZINE] Hmm... Interesting. Yeah. See? these pages are stuck together. You've been reading an interview with John McCain. Here's the rest of Sarah Michelle.

~Then they go on to banter about what candidate they will support in the upcoming election. Will tells Grace he wants to support a gay candidate. Grace asks all kinds of "political-type" questions about the candidate, to which Will replies:

WILL: What do you care? You thought Buffy was in a prisoner of war camp.

~And then there's also:

JACK: Oh, my God. I love TV. Buffy is my life. one of my Favorites is "Some Sarah Michelle, Jennifer Love , Felicity thing CALLED ME MAAM DO I LOOK LIKE A MAAM"

(Karen walks in and Will has his pants down)

Karen: Put your clothes back on you're my lawyer not my dentist