Brett Ferino
04-29-2003, 07:22 AM
LOS ANGELES (Zap2it.com) - Oh geez. Yeah. Sorry about that.
On behalf of the male gender, this reporter would like to apologize for the skeevy masked antics on display on Monday night's (April 28) edition of "Mr. Personality." Really, we're not all like that.
Most of us, for instance, wouldn't have signed up for this gig in the first place. The 10 remaining fellas who did, however, put on quite a show.
As the show opens, we find out that our girl Hayley and the Merry Masked Men will all be living in the same absurdly large mansion in Malibu. They throw a house-warming of sorts, and everybody drinks. A lot, so we're led to believe.
Green-masked Chris, who established a creepy Kreskin-like strategy last week, makes the first move by taking Hayley out of a hot tub full of guys (who have to keep their shirts on as well) for a little chat. This doesn't sit well with the other dudes, particularly Silver Will, who's likely used to getting his millionaire-developer way.
Chris somehow thinks it's funny that Will waits for him and Hayley to come back from their chat, but any points he scored are immediately deducted, and then some, as he spies on Hayley and Will talking from the second-floor landing. Shudder.
Hayley, for her part, feels what's going on and cops to being a little "creeped out" by Chris' hovering.
The next day is spent sailing, where Light Blue Joe -- who made a booze-fueled verbal spectacle of himself the night before -- blows his chance at redemption by telling Hayley he's been searching for his soulmate since the age of four.
Hayley says she's a little disappointed by the day and that she's having a tough time getting a read on most of the guys. Possibly because, you know, they're wearing masks.
Yet the previous hijinks look like Sunday school compared to the next night's luau. (And by the way, props to the producers for making sure each guy's wardrobe coordinates with his mask color. You know the guys wouldn't have done that on their own.)
For starters, Light Green Stan unmasks himself at the start of the party. No one, Stan included, seems all that upset with his decision to bail. Had he stuck around, though, he might have at least gotten a lap dance from one of the hula girls.
That's what happens with Bronze Pete, who happily indulges a pneumatic blonde's offer of a little bump and grind. Blue Brian goes even further, taking a hula girl upstairs to show her his bedroom.
On the closed caption while they're behind closed doors, we hear Brian say he came here just to meet Hayley, to which the dancer replies "I don't think she's that great." Brian asks why, and she says "I'm better. I can show you."
The home viewer is then treated to some "Joe Millionaire"-style captioning, including "Mmmm." and "(zip)." On camera, Brian insists nothing happened, while the dancer says "We fooled around a little bit" and "Did I [bleeped word rhyming with snow] him? That's between him and I."
It's at this point -- after a break, but still -- that host Monica Lewinsky re-enters, taking Hayley into the deliberation room, which features a row of busts with each guy's colored mask and a bank of video monitors. Monica shows Hayley what Pete and Brian did, and she is suitably speechless.
She confronts the two guys, playing coy and saying "a couple of guys" told her about what went on while she was away from the luau (where was she, by the way?). Knowing they're caught, they try, pretty unsuccessfully, to talk their way out of the situation.
On to the unmasking ceremony, where Brian jumps up before Hayley can say anything and unmasks himself, managing to diss other guys who are "pining after [Hayley] like little schoolgirls." Monica puts him in his place, saying he was going home anyway and he should've been a man about it and let Hayley make her choices.
She ends up choosing Red Michael (despite his flameout in the "dark room" ), Purple Jim, Orange Peyton, Yellow Ted and Silver Will. And, faced with a final choice between Needy Light Blue Joe, Lap-Dance Bronze Pete and Kreskin Green Chris, chooses Chris, who managed not to embarrass himself further after the peeping-tom incident.
On behalf of the male gender, this reporter would like to apologize for the skeevy masked antics on display on Monday night's (April 28) edition of "Mr. Personality." Really, we're not all like that.
Most of us, for instance, wouldn't have signed up for this gig in the first place. The 10 remaining fellas who did, however, put on quite a show.
As the show opens, we find out that our girl Hayley and the Merry Masked Men will all be living in the same absurdly large mansion in Malibu. They throw a house-warming of sorts, and everybody drinks. A lot, so we're led to believe.
Green-masked Chris, who established a creepy Kreskin-like strategy last week, makes the first move by taking Hayley out of a hot tub full of guys (who have to keep their shirts on as well) for a little chat. This doesn't sit well with the other dudes, particularly Silver Will, who's likely used to getting his millionaire-developer way.
Chris somehow thinks it's funny that Will waits for him and Hayley to come back from their chat, but any points he scored are immediately deducted, and then some, as he spies on Hayley and Will talking from the second-floor landing. Shudder.
Hayley, for her part, feels what's going on and cops to being a little "creeped out" by Chris' hovering.
The next day is spent sailing, where Light Blue Joe -- who made a booze-fueled verbal spectacle of himself the night before -- blows his chance at redemption by telling Hayley he's been searching for his soulmate since the age of four.
Hayley says she's a little disappointed by the day and that she's having a tough time getting a read on most of the guys. Possibly because, you know, they're wearing masks.
Yet the previous hijinks look like Sunday school compared to the next night's luau. (And by the way, props to the producers for making sure each guy's wardrobe coordinates with his mask color. You know the guys wouldn't have done that on their own.)
For starters, Light Green Stan unmasks himself at the start of the party. No one, Stan included, seems all that upset with his decision to bail. Had he stuck around, though, he might have at least gotten a lap dance from one of the hula girls.
That's what happens with Bronze Pete, who happily indulges a pneumatic blonde's offer of a little bump and grind. Blue Brian goes even further, taking a hula girl upstairs to show her his bedroom.
On the closed caption while they're behind closed doors, we hear Brian say he came here just to meet Hayley, to which the dancer replies "I don't think she's that great." Brian asks why, and she says "I'm better. I can show you."
The home viewer is then treated to some "Joe Millionaire"-style captioning, including "Mmmm." and "(zip)." On camera, Brian insists nothing happened, while the dancer says "We fooled around a little bit" and "Did I [bleeped word rhyming with snow] him? That's between him and I."
It's at this point -- after a break, but still -- that host Monica Lewinsky re-enters, taking Hayley into the deliberation room, which features a row of busts with each guy's colored mask and a bank of video monitors. Monica shows Hayley what Pete and Brian did, and she is suitably speechless.
She confronts the two guys, playing coy and saying "a couple of guys" told her about what went on while she was away from the luau (where was she, by the way?). Knowing they're caught, they try, pretty unsuccessfully, to talk their way out of the situation.
On to the unmasking ceremony, where Brian jumps up before Hayley can say anything and unmasks himself, managing to diss other guys who are "pining after [Hayley] like little schoolgirls." Monica puts him in his place, saying he was going home anyway and he should've been a man about it and let Hayley make her choices.
She ends up choosing Red Michael (despite his flameout in the "dark room" ), Purple Jim, Orange Peyton, Yellow Ted and Silver Will. And, faced with a final choice between Needy Light Blue Joe, Lap-Dance Bronze Pete and Kreskin Green Chris, chooses Chris, who managed not to embarrass himself further after the peeping-tom incident.