If I could go back, I would have -

* never have befriended Natalie Burns.
* never have made the decision that self-harm was a sensible solution to my problems.
* never have started drinking on a regular basis just cos I was bored.
* told Carmen how I really felt about her.
* gone to university instead of rotting away in an office 9 to 5, 5 days a week, every week for the past 3 years of my Godforsaken life.

Originally posted by Mossopp

* never have made the decision that self-harm was a sensible solution to my problems.


Ugh, can't wear bathing suits.... the scars on my stomach. :(

Originally posted by Babes_Cat


Ugh, can't wear bathing suits.... the scars on my stomach. :(

Do you do it too?
I have so many scars on my arms that it's almost beyond belief!

Originally posted by Mossopp


Do you do it too?
I have so many scars on my arms that it's almost beyond belief!

yeah, I was stupid one day and cut WAY above my bikini line so... yeah, I have words written on my stomach, I need tof ind some way to get rid of them or make them less noticable.

But... on my right wrist/arm, both ankles and stomach

Originally posted by Mossopp


Do you do it too?
I have so many scars on my arms that it's almost beyond belief!
a few weeks ago i slashed up my arms w/ scissors, it aint real bad tho it just looks like a cat went crazy on me. but i dunno what i would take back in my life, id prolly call some cancer society when my mom had cancer.

-id have stopped my friend from walking to work the day he died
-id have gone to see my grandfather the morning he died
-id not have gone out w/ andrew (or gene, derek, or matt)
-id not have gone to the tv studio after school alone
-id have tried to talk to my friend so she maybe wouldnt have killed herself

Originally posted by Kelly Osbourne

a few weeks ago i slashed up my arms w/ scissors, it aint real bad tho it just looks like a cat went crazy on me. Uh why?

I'd speak up more and wouldn't let people walk all over me

That's the only big one that I can think of right now

-i'd have beat the everlasting piss out of a guy i know a while back(no one talks about my friends like that!)
-told brittany how i felt a lot sooner
-tell jill how i felt a lot sooner(i at least had a chance with her)
-not make so many enimies with people who like to bother me
- and last and least do that damn section on my math exam...cost me ten points but i still made 85:D

-I would have never been friends with Angela.
-I would change my looks.
-I wouldn't be boy-crazy. I mean, I don't mind that, but I crush on different people way too often, and people get sick of hearing about it.
-I would be more assertive and less tongue-tied.
-I would be an average student with average intelligence instead of being an A student and having so many expectations to meet.

Originally posted by Mossopp

* never have made the decision that self-harm was a sensible solution to my problems.


#2 *I'd change my family and live with the people that I truly love
#3 *I'd change the way I've felt/been for the past year.. i.e. depressed, crazy, suicidal, crazy, depressed....
#4 *I'd change the way people were to me in the past
#5 *I'd change my reputation with people (see #2)

I'd change a few physical things.. like my hair, my weight, my face shape, etc...

I'd never EVER went out w/ John from work.. oh god, huge mistake...

I'd never applied for a damn credit card!

Sometimes, i wish i had never started drinking...

My mom not kiling herself.. god i'd give anything for that to change... so so SOO many things would be different now.

Hmm I would have never gone out with Joe
I would have never befriended HALF of my Friends
I would have never taken the Job I have now
I Would have Moved to cali by now
and I would have found Love by now

1. I wished I had finished college when I did.
2. I wished that I had finished learning to drive.
3. I wish that I could lose weight.
4. I wish that I could quit my job and be a successful author.

And most of all, I wish I could do something about all the pain all of you have been through and eased your suffering and not have you inflict harm on yourselves...like I had on myself years ago.

I almost thought I was alone in the whole cutting deal. It's almost like I don't even like to think about it. I did it back in 1979 to take attention away from other problems, things I couldn't deal with. I only have a faded scar on the top of my wrist. I guess I never really felt serious about hurting myself more deeply than that...God, it was a frightful day. Nothing really so bad, but when you (btw, I'm hearing a song right now that applies to this situation "Angry Young Man (Killing Yourself)" by Styx, always liked that song:cool: ) are just so alone out in the world, and the pain just eats away at you, you feel like, okay, whatever. You look for attention by doing this, and yet you feel so damn awkward when people ask about it...You almost can't tell anyone.
I remember everything so vividly from when I was 16.

Why stop at 5?There's just so much about my life,I'd like to change.Too much to list.

Originally posted by Mossopp
If I could go back, I would have -


[list=1]
Agreed to go to see Phantom of the Opera with this Scott kid that liked me in high school
Gone to the prom with same kid
Told the guy I had a crush on to shove a corn cob up his a$$
Never gone to my first college
Not changed majors 3 times
[/list=1]

Originally posted by dawsongirl
[list=1] Told the guy I had a crush on to shove a corn cob up his a$$[/list=1]
:lol:

1. Change my physical appearance.
2. Wouldnt let people walk over me- Id speak up for myself. People are always telling me Im too nice, but IMO I think thats a good thing. Maybe you're just too bitchy!
3. Be closer with my family. Well, we're close, but not in the lets talk about everything closeness. More like the goofy always get along closeness.
4. More effort into school. I dont regret being satisfied with my B averages-- B's are good man!! But I wish I hadve done better because I know I couldve. But, Im not one to stay up all night and study-- Ill skim through it and make the best of it.
5. Say NO. I always have a hard time saying NO. Eh, basically the same as for speaking up for myself. Oh well, I needed a 5th one.

#1: Take away my disorders, stopped OCD with medicine before it became full blown and ****ed up my life forever.
#2: Take back cutting myself a few years ago, I did it often.
#3: Not have let my problems get in the way with my parents, if I didn't they'd still love me.
#4: Never have told anyone I wanted to kill myself/die...
#5: Change all the **** ups I have done school wise.

I would...

1.) Change the way I look, I just have a problem with it.
2.) Change my outlook on things, I can be so negative sometimes.
3.) Change the way I've treated people, I can be so mean sometimes.
4.) Have learned to play the guitar and piano. I still wanna learn, but I would look funny going to beginner piano lessons at 15.
5.) Be a better kid. I can be such a brat sometimes and I know I must drive my mom and dad crazy.

Originally posted by ~*Hannah_Lee*~
4.) Have learned to play the guitar and piano. I still wanna learn, but I would look funny going to beginner piano lessons at 15.
Thats when I started. When I was 14. Quit @ 17. Sucked. I hate practicing.

Originally posted by •Shotz|NYC•

Thats when I started. When I was 14. Quit @ 17. Sucked. I hate practicing.

I may be driving myself to lesssons. I dunno. Depends on how dedicated I am, although I really wanna play.

5 things I would have changed:
1- my gender (I would have prayed to God and asked him to change it before conception took place)
2- the temper in my early years (I recall telling my 3rd grade teacher that I would commit suidicide)
3- How I felt about some situations in school and stuff like that.
4- Quitting Soccer in the 5th grade over cross country.
5- Being responsible and taking the intiative where it was needed.

1. My looks. I'd like to look a little more like a person and a little less like ALF.
2. Wish I hadn't spend my money on stupid things. Like people I can't stand.
3. Change primetime for the whole nation. 7 - 9. No more of this 8 - 10 crap. :p
4. 6th - 10th grade. Change my attitude, my whole outlook on life. 11th and 12th grade were the best years of my life. I'd like to take those back to 6th grade and spread it around.
5. Never would have released that song. Sure it went Platinum, but my reputation as a whole was ruined! ;)

Originally posted by Original Prankster
3. Change primetime for the whole nation. 7 - 9. No more of this 8 - 10 crap. :p
:stooges:

Originally posted by dawsongirl
Told the guy I had a crush on to shove a corn cob up his a$$

:lol: Y'all have no idea how many guys I've wanted to say that to over the years...

Originally posted by Original Prankster
2. Wish I hadn't spend my money on stupid things. Like people I can't stand.

Yep. All those damn b-day and Christmas presents.

5. Never would have released that song. Sure it went Platinum, but my reputation as a whole was ruined! ;)

You wanted to be rich...

Originally posted by ~*Hannah_Lee*~


I may be driving myself to lesssons. I dunno. Depends on how dedicated I am, although I really wanna play.

Btw, how do you make your avatar flash like that?

Originally posted by ~*Hannah_Lee*~


I may be driving myself to lesssons. I dunno. Depends on how dedicated I am, although I really wanna play.

Kurt looks so much like this guy that I had a crush on in school,every time I see pictures of Kurt,I think of that guy and I'm reminded why I thought he was so hot!!:eyes:

Originally posted by Captain ABlairica


Btw, how do you make your avatar flash like that?

I used Jasc Animation Studio to make that one.

Originally posted by vintagetvgirl


Kurt looks so much like this guy that I had a crush on in school,every time I see pictures of Kurt,I think of that guy and I'm reminded why I thought he was so hot!!:eyes:

I know a guy who looks like Kurt did when his hair was shorter and not dyed blonde. The guy I know plays guitar too. I think he's in a band, as well. Kind of an eerie coincidence.....

BTW- Kurt is really good looking is some pics, like this one for example. His eyes really get me on the one on the left, and then I just love the other one.

Originally posted by ~*Hannah_Lee*~


I know a guy who looks like Kurt did when his hair was shorter and not dyed blonde. The guy I know plays guitar too. I think he's in a band, as well. Kind of an eerie coincidence.....

BTW- Kurt is really good looking is some pics, like this one for example. His eyes really get me on the one on the left, and then I just love the other one.

The guy I knew - he looked like Kurt does in your avatar.Really hot!It's amazing how much they look alike.

Originally posted by vintagetvgirl


The guy I knew - he looked like Kurt does in your avatar.Really hot!It's amazing how much they look alike.

That guy you knew must have been a real catch if he looked like Kurt does in the pic in my avator. :grineyes: :eyes:

Originally posted by ~*Hannah_Lee*~


That guy you knew must have been a real catch if he looked like Kurt does in the pic in my avator. :grineyes: :eyes:

Oh,he was!I would LOVE to be able to find him again!:grineyes: :grineyes: :eyes: :eyes:

Originally posted by vintagetvgirl


Oh,he was!I would LOVE to be able to find him again!:grineyes: :grineyes: :eyes: :eyes:

:lol: Maybe you will! In the mean time, my siggy will be plenty full of Kurt pics to remind ya of him!

Originally posted by ~*Hannah_Lee*~


:lol: Maybe you will! In the mean time, my siggy will be plenty full of Kurt pics to remind ya of him!

I hope I do!I just adore that pic in your avatar,that's definately Chuck's twin!:grineyes: :grineyes: :grineyes: :eyes: :eyes: :eyes:

I would have...

~gotten those 'Pella tix for Minneapolis before they sold out
~told Nick how I felt
~not been so mean to everyone throughout my life
~not cut
~picked a different instrument to play for band

Can I pick more than five?

1. I never should have been friends with Abby, Jen, Shawna, Kate, Jesse, and all those other jerks I grew up with.
2. I would have been born to a much nicer, kinder, more loving and supportive family.
3. I wouldn't be disabled.
4. I'd look much more attractive.
5. I'd have much more self-esteem and self-confidence.
6. I'd have tried much harder in school, maybe even tried for pre-med.
7. I'd believe in myself more and stop being so negative about myself.
8. I'd have some decent, loving people in my life who actually give a **** about me.
9. I'd be outgoing.
10. I'd have gotten involved in school activities and sports.
11. Guys would actually like me and find me attractave.
12. I wouldn't suffer from depression and anxiety.
13. I'd feel like I can actualy trust people.

I'm sure I can come up with more. Man, my life f***ing sucks!!!! Sometimes, I don't know why the hell I'm even alive.

Kristen, I'm so sorry. I know where you're coming from on some of that stuff...unfortunately, I have never been disabled and I can't pretend I understand what that's like. If you want to talk, you can PM me or email me. I may not be the best at offering advice, but I can listen...so to speak. :hug:

Originally posted by Snoopy

3. I wouldn't be disabled.
I'm so sorry but if it's any consolation I know exactly how you feel. I know that you don't know me very well but you can PM me if you ever need to talk.

Originally posted by Snoopy
6. I'd have tried much harder in school, maybe even tried for pre-med.

You're young. You can still be pre-med.

Originally posted by Snoopy
Can I pick more than five?


3. I wouldn't be disabled.


Kristen,I'm so sorry you feel so badly about yourself - I do too,I feel like my life is such a damn mess,it will never be right again.As for the disabled part,I know I'm not disabled in the same way as you are,but I have some mystery illness,that I've had since I was 20(15 yrs.,now) and no doctor has been able to help me,so I feel like crap so much of the time.I just feel sick and can't feel better.Feel free to PM me and we can talk,if you like.I know life sucks. :mad: :(

Originally posted by Snoopy
11. Guys would actually like me and find me attractave.
12. I wouldn't suffer from depression and anxiety.
13. I'd feel like I can actualy trust people.


Ah...I can relate.

11. Some guys like me and think I'm cute...but they're losers. I refuse to stoop too low. But this aloneness thing sucks.

12. God yes. A whole chunk of problems dating back to when I was just a kid can now be attributed to anxiety, but no one knew 'til it almost got too bad. Thank God for Paxil- without it, I'd be a flunked-out-of-college mess. Seriously.

13. I trust no one. Well, barely no one. I've been taken for a sucker one too many times to be nice anymore.

Originally posted by dawsongirl
13. I trust no one. Well, barely no one. I've been taken for a sucker one too many times to be nice anymore.

Me neither. I've been through many years of people pretending to like me, then talking about me behind my back or starting crap about me. Seems like it's always the people you can trust, too...so it's easier to trust in no one.

Originally posted by vintagetvgirl


I hope I do!I just adore that pic in your avatar,that's definately Chuck's twin!:grineyes: :grineyes: :grineyes: :eyes: :eyes: :eyes:

I just found this picture of Kurt on a poster. It's the cutest picture of him I've ever seen! I love it!!

Originally posted by Rockapella722
I would have...

~gotten those 'Pella tix for Minneapolis before they sold out
~told Nick how I felt
~not been so mean to everyone throughout my life
~not cut
~picked a different instrument to play for band

not cut? as in 'not cut in line', 'not cut your hair off then eat paste'??

Originally posted by ~*Hannah_Lee*~


I just found this picture of Kurt on a poster. It's the cutest picture of him I've ever seen! I love it!!

That's good,too,but I LOVE the one you had in your avatar,it was uncanny how much he resembled Chuck(the guy I had a crush on back in school). :heart: :heart: !!

Originally posted by vintagetvgirl


That's good,too,but I LOVE the one you had in your avatar,it was uncanny how much he resembled Chuck(the guy I had a crush on back in school). :heart: :heart: !!

It is funny how people do look so much like other people. I know a guy who looks a lot like Dave Grohl, too. Now, if only I knew a Krist Novoselic look-alike, then I could recreate Nirvana.

Originally posted by ~*Hannah_Lee*~


It is funny how people do look so much like other people. I know a guy who looks a lot like Dave Grohl, too. Now, if only I knew a Krist Novoselic look-alike, then I could recreate Nirvana.

:lol: Yep and Chuck could easily be Kurt. ;) :D

only 5?? Well I will keep it as close to 5 as i can..

1. Not have picked up cutting myself again... I hadn't did it in 3 years, until 2 weeks ago.

2. Not be depressed/suicidal/crazy all the time.

3. Not drink as much as i do.

4. Be nicer to the people who care about me, I am such a bitch to most of them.

5. trust people more.

6. Wish that my grandma would have never married hubby number 3, maybe my life wouldn't be as ****ed as it is now.

7. Never would have done any drugs. Been clean for almost 4 years though.

8. Would have gotten that gun away from Nick, instead of listening to his grandma and thinking she would get it away from him.

9. Would have told Nick that I loved him.

There is more but I am starting to cry because of the last two.

1) wouldn't have gotten into a bad habit of being on the computer so much

2)would've gotten a job and be like the rest of the money "sellouts"

3)wouldn't of obsessed over my ex so much

4) i would've tried to be a better friend and kick my friends outta teh habit of drinking

5) i would've became a better actress

Originally posted by Brandon


not cut? as in 'not cut in line', 'not cut your hair off then eat paste'??

you're an idiot.

I would:

1) Never have moved to Michigan
2) Never have married my husband
3) Change my physical appearance
4) Have more self esteem and self confidence
5) Have NEVER gotten any credit cards
6) Stop being so da@@ nice to people because it's gotten me no where in life
7) Have stayed in college back in Ohio
8) Be more socialable
9) Turn back time and go back to age 4 and somehow stop this da@@ speech impediment from occurring
10) Grow a backbone and start standing up for myself

The list is endless!!!!!!