WE INTERRUPT THIS PROGRAM WITH A SPECIAL BULLETIN:

AMERICA IS NOW UNDER MARTIAL LAW.

ALL CONSTITUTIONAL RIGHTS HAVE BEEN SUSPENDED.
DO NOT ATTEMPT TO CONTACT LOVED ONES, INSURANCE AGENTS, OR ATTORNEYS.
DO NOT ATTEMPT TO THINK, OR DEPRESSION MAY OCCUR.
REMAIN CALM. DO NOT PANIC.
CURFEW IS AT 7:PM SHARP AFTER WORK.
ANYONE CAUGHT OUTSIDE THE GATES OF THEIR SUBDIVISION SECTORS AFTER CURFEW WILL BE SHOT.
YOUR NEIGHBORHOOD WATCH OFFICER WILL BE BUY TO COLLECT URINE SAMPLES IN THE MORNING.
ANYONE CAUGHT INTERFERING WITH THE COLLECTION OF URINE SAMPLES WILL BE SHOT.
SHUT UP!
THE NUMBER ONE ENEMY OF PROGRESS IS QUESTIONS.
NATIONAL SECURITY IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN INDIVIDUAL WILL.
NO MORE THAN TWO PEOPLE MAY GATHER ANYWHERE AT ANY TIME WITHOUT PERMISSION.
ALL SPORTS BROADCASTS WILL PROCEED AS NORMAL.
SHUT UP! BE HAPPY!
AT LAST, THE COMFORT YOU'VE DEMANDED IS NOW MANDATORY.
BE HAPPY!
AT LAST, EVERYTHING IS DONE FOR YOU.


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