Does anyone have any comebacks, insults?

These are mine:

Won't you slip into something more
comfortable...like a coma.

I never forget a face, but for you i'll make an exception.

Save your breath, you'll need it to blow off your date.


Does anyone have any?
Post em' here
:D

It depends on the situation really, but I've never needed to use one

Originally posted by Camillian
Save your breath, you'll need it to blow off your date.
LMAO.

The only things I really say (if you even want to call them a comeback)

Go play in the road/Go play in incoming traffic.
Go suck on a Milkbone. (If their breath stinks)
The only thing you and J.Lo have in common is a fat ass!

you look like a million bucks...

....just ran over your face

If someone really gross asks you out -
"I'm not your type - I'm not inflatable."

If he/she asks you back to their house -
"Is there room for 2 under that rock?"

When I guy asks you "do you think my body is dynamite?" -
"Possibly, but it's a shame it's got such a short fuse"

If he says "Could I be your first?" -
"You might be - you look familiar"

"I dunno why you wear a bra - you've got nothing to put in it" -
"You wear underpants, don't you?"


I have a truck load of jokes about men. I'll post some later if anyone's interested. :D

Originally posted by Mossopp
If someone really gross asks you out -
"I'm not your type - I'm not inflatable."

If he/she asks you back to their house -
"Is there room for 2 under that rock?"

When I guy asks you "do you think my body is dynamite?" -
"Possibly, but it's a shame it's got such a short fuse"

If he says "Could I be your first?" -
"You might be - you look familiar"

"I dunno why you wear a bra - you've got nothing to put in it" -
"You wear underpants, don't you?"


I have a truck load of jokes about men. I'll post some later if anyone's interested. :D
:lol: Please do!!

suck a dick....just one

depends i am good at burining people most of the time

if someone tells you they work out every night tell them that one arm isn't going to help you in a fight

I have alot of them....But i can't post them here..;)

These aren't really great comebacks, but it's the best that my non-creative mind can do on short notice.

-Shut up.
-You're ********/a moron/stupid/un pene (Spanish word...guess what it means.)
-Drop dead.
-Don't let the door hit you where the Good Lord splits you.

Originally posted by •Shotz|NYC•

:lol: Please do!!

Okely-dokely.......... :D

I went to the County Show. The had one of those 'Believe It Or Not' Exhibitions. They had a man born with a penis and a brain!

What has an IQ of 7?
8 men

What do you call an intelligent man in Britain?
A tourist

Diamonds are a girls best friend. Dogs are a mans best friend. Now you know which sex is smarter.

My ex-husband converted me to religion - I never believed in Hell untill I married him!

Why did God create men?
Cos a vibrator can't mow the lawn

What's the greatest mystery about men?
How they can get older but still manage to remain immature

There is a method of male birth control - it's called their personality

What happened to the man who jumped out of a plane without a parachute?
Who gives a f**k?!

What do toilets and anniversaries have in common?
Men always miss them

Men fantasise about being in bed with 2 women. Women fantasise about it too cos at least they'll have someone to talk to when he falls asleep

How do you know when a man has found his intellectual equal?
He's just picked up a broom-handle

My friends said my baby looked just like his father - then they turned him the right way up

A stupid man visited our local museum yesterday. He saw a sign saying 'wet floor' - so he did

Three wise men? You've got to be joking!!

Did you hear about the stupid man who tried to get high on Coke?
The bubbles kept going up his nose

Better to have loved and lost than to have spent your whole damn life with the b*st*rd!

Why are men always happy?
Cos ignorance is bliss


:rotflmao: :lol: :rotflmao:

screw a (insert animal name here)
how bout no?
I'm sick of yoo.
cry me a river, build a bridge and get over it

yah and just random ones that fit in the situation.

:lol: @ Mossopp...

Anyway, I don't know. When I come out with them, they are pretty good, but they just...come out. I don't know what I'm going to say in advance

I Use them all the time, But they always have something to do with what the person said to me before. I Can be quite clever when it comes to things like that.

Originally posted by Mossopp

What do you call an intelligent man in Britain?
A tourist

Why did God create men?
Cos a vibrator can't mow the lawn

What happened to the man who jumped out of a plane without a parachute?
Who gives a f**k?!

Men fantasise about being in bed with 2 women. Women fantasise about it too cos at least they'll have someone to talk to when he falls asleep

My friends said my baby looked just like his father - then they turned him the right way up

Better to have loved and lost than to have spent your whole damn life with the b*st*rd!
:lol: LMAO

the one I use the most often would be "you can Kiss my Sweet little behind"

Your deluted

I heard these offa the TV, but I never use them:

Depending on the situation:

Does it hurt your back kissing your own ass like that?

The only thing you're good for is converting oxygen into carbon dioxide

-->lil Spongebob humor: If I had a dollar for every brain you don't have, I'd have one dollar.<-- (don't ever use that one, you'd get smacked over the head for stupidity)