I don't want to get all heavy but I'm pretty depressed and I just wanted to vent. I considered calling my mate Kirsty but she's probably sick of me sobbing down the phone at her so I'll just vent here:

I posted at the weekend about how I'd joined FriendsReunited and that I'd found out that the girl I was in love with at school was now living with her girfriend in England. I dunno why but I can't get it outta my head.
I just never actually visualised her settling down. When I knew her she was renouned for being somewhat promiscuous (her reputation was ill-deserved but she did consider herself to be bi at the time). She is over a year younger than me - how can she settle down at 19???
I'm just finding it hard to believe.
Don't get me wrong - this is not jealousy towards her girlfriend and I'm not still in love with her. I got over her a long time ago but, you know, you never forget the first person you fall in love with, right?
Like I said, I'm not still in love with her but it's strange - there's not a day that goes by that I don't think about her. Since she left school (although she's younger, she left school before me) I've always wondered what she'd been doing. The last time I saw her was in town about 2 and a half years ago. Our eyes met accross the street but neither of us made any move and we didn't speak.
That's my biggest regret. Looking back on everything now, I really did have a chance with her but I was too scared to make a move. If I wasn't such a f*cking puss we could've gotten it together and she'd be living in Scotland with me now instead of down in Manchester with f*cking Mandi!!!!
I'm not still in love with her - it's not that. I guess it's just cos I only recently came out and my best mate, who's also gay, has given me glimpse into the whole 'gay scene' and I now realise how much I've been missing. I'm nearly 21 - I should be out there having fun, dancing, drinking, meeting people. Why am I still stuck living in the middle-of-f*cking-nowhere with my parents??? I think I'm just angry at myself and I'm trying to project it onto other people.

Sorry guys. I know none of this made sense and you don't have to reply to this cos I know I sound like a stupid twat. Writing this has made me feel better and that's all I needed.
Just ignore me - I'm an idiot.

I know I didn't have to reply, but I thought I should. I know that feeling that one of these days I'm gonna run into Amy and not gonna be able to say anything to her. I think I might still have a crush on her because every now and then I think about what it could've been like if I had paid more attention to my feelings in 9th grade. I kinda already do regret it because I've never met anyone like her and she seemed to understand me better than anyone else I know. Listen to me, now I'm complaining about how I lost my chance with what could been the girl for me. I just depressed myself. :( Just don't be too down on yourself because your not the only person who's in regret for not making a move. I guess both of us will never know what it could've been like if we had did something about our feelings. Alhough, if you ever want to talk you can PM me or instant message me.

Aww.. Im sorry Lorna.:( Dont feel stupid.. I know just how you feel!! We all go through this @ one point or another.

Aw, Lorna... I'm so sorry. You'll get the chance to see her again, and maybe this time you can talk to her. Remember, good things come to those who wait. I'm no expert on advice, so I'm staying out of that area of expertise, but you are not a stupid twat. I know it doesn't mean much because we are all a billion miles away, but we love you here. Good luck.

Well Mossopp, since you've given me some advice in the past, i'll try to return the favor.

You're young. You have plenty of time to do the things you want to do. Your life hasn't passed you by. Not happy where you are? Figure out a way to get out from under your parent's roof. Get out on your own and see things from a new perspective.

As for your other dilemma, try not to think about what could have been, and never worry about something you should have done. What's done is done, so move on.
I think you know about my recent dallience with an "old flame" from my past. Since you know how that turned out, all I can say is when it comes to a love from the past, be careful what you might wish for...you might get it!

Cheer up mate, things will only get better.

;)

Yeah, like TJL said once you get out on your own things will be a lot different. I'm much happier now than I was when I was living with my mom. Since you have just recently come out you haven't had that much time to meet a lot of girls. Try and get out a little more and I'm sure you will meet someone very nice who you can be happy with. Hope this helps, I'm not really that good at giving advice. :)

Originally posted by Mossopp
you never forget the first person you fall in love with, right?

Sadly, I don't think so. I'd love to forget mine. I'd still also like to tell him to take a flying leap.

I'm nearly 21 - I should be out there having fun, dancing, drinking, meeting people. Why am I still stuck living in the middle-of-f*cking-nowhere with my parents???

I'm 23 and living in the middle of flucking nowhere with my folks too, so you're not the only one. But for me, it's a hell of a lot better than living with a bitchy roommate. Did that once.

Anyway, things will turn around. This is the slump before the fun begins. :)

Sorry to hear that, Lorna.:( But, life will get better for you soon. Don't worry. Probably the best thing you can do now is try to forget her and move on with your life. It might be hard to do now, but it will get easier.