View Full Version : I need advice....


chicofan4ever
07-12-2001, 06:10 PM
Hi, Something happened at work today, one of the girls in my dept. had to leave work early today because she got a call that her Husband shot himself in the head; as far as I know he is still alive, but, he is in serious condition. He is only 22 Yrs. old. from what I understand, he has been having financial problems. After we found about this, I couldn't help but think about Freddie. I guess, what I'm asking is what is the best thing to do for Julie (the wife) and Jeff (the husband). I hope you don't mind me posting this, but it does help to talk about it! Thank you for your time!!!!

Karen64
07-12-2001, 07:37 PM
What a terrible thing for Julie to be going through right now! I've never dealt with anything like this before with friends or family, but I can imagine Julie needs alot of support from her friends, but at the same time, needs some personal space. She probably won't want to leave her husband's side, so let her know you're there for a shoulder to cry on if needed, if she needs errands done, laundry done or whatever.....

When I was in nursing school 12 years ago, one of my patients (in the hospital because he had shot himself in the head) made a full recovery-had a big bandage around his head, had to be in the hospital for quite awhile, and of course, needed a lot of psychosocial help. I don't know how bad off Jeff is, but there may be some hope......

chicosladyfair
07-13-2001, 01:19 AM
Ohmigosh!!!
I would just be there for the both of them. Nothing can replace a supportive friend. Since I have been on the boards I have lost two friends to suicide. My friend Ed was in his 40's and recently lost his leg to an infection. He slipped deeper and deeper into depression. He drank and used drugs and shut himself off from his friends. Sadly, he died 2 months ago from an accidental overdose. His close friends believe it was intentional.
Then there was Gary. He was 50 years old, he had been with Charlene for 18 years, had 2 daughters, 3 grandchildren and been with the same job for almost 30 years. He was painfully shy and kept to himself..yet he was a gentle soul who wouldn't hurt anybody. He would tinker with small machinery in his garage on the weekends as a hobby. This one Friday morning he called in sick to work which his wife thought was strange...he never missed work. The next day, Saturday he sat in the garage tinkering. Charlene walked out to the garage, put her arms around him and told him that she loved him. As she turned to walk out the garage she asked him if he was alright...he replied, "I am now". She closed the garage door and heard a loud bang. When she opened it she saw that he had put a gun to his head and blew his brains out. He left behind a suicide note 5 pages long and this was a well thought out plan. He also had checks made out to each of his daughters so they would be taken care of. It seemed that a rumour had gotten started at his job by some woman. Because he was a shy man, she went around telling everybody he was gay...a rumour that he tried to live down 30 years before when he was in the Army. There are no "right" words to say...just be there...and listen.

Cheryl Harrell
07-13-2001, 02:34 AM
Oh wow, sorry to hear that. Best wishes to you & the families. I hope their story turns out happier than Freddies...

chicofan4ever
07-14-2001, 09:22 PM
Hi Everyone,
I just wanted to update everyone about Jeff's condition. He made it through the surgery fine, he is still in ICU, but the doctor's hope he will be moved to his own room real soon. It turned out that the bullet only grazed his skull. Thank you for all your prayers; The really incredible thing is Julie found out she is Pregnant with their first baby. Thank you for your time!!

Anna
07-14-2001, 10:06 PM
Prayers Answered.

catcopy18
07-14-2001, 11:54 PM
Hi Chicofan4ever - So glad to hear Jeff's condition is improving. Please keep us up-dated on how he's doing. I wish our Freddie
could have been so lucky.

Cheryl Harrell
07-15-2001, 04:34 AM
Glad to hear he's better. Too bad the bullet didn't just graze Freddies skull...