Here is another example of "proof" that I believe that freddie really didn't intend to kill himself.
In Maria's book it tells of when Freddie had a dinner talk with Ray Andrade exec. producer of CATM.
Over the newspaper(which contained an article about the execution of Gary Gillmore,)
freddie told ray that no one has the right to end their life because as long as they live there is still hope.
So here's what I think- I think Freddie wanted help so bad and didn't know how to ask for it(I suppose he figured what he did affected so many people employment wise, and he didn't want to upet the applecart.)
So he called his friendDusty,perhaps because he thought Dusty would take him seriously, showing him the note,and thinking the safety was on-as it had been in the past fired it.
I just cab't in my mind or heart think that Freddie ment to kill himself, he loved his mom and son to much to do that.

I agree with you Joy. I think he knew he needed help but did not quite know how to ask for it. He was overwhelmed with his career demands, marital problems, health concerns and financial troubles. There was so much pressure surrounding him then. I also think that he thought the safety was on and he would get his family and friends to see that he was in desperate need of help handling all he was facing. He called everyone. He probably thought that with everyone there, help would be close and he would not even attempt to hurt himself. It was a horrible accident. I, too feel that in his heart he loved his Mom and his son too much to deliberately leave in such a way. With all the substances in his system, he was not in full control of his faculties. Everything he had worked so hard for had materialized. I don't think he would have deliberately left at the height of his career and having a new son that he loved dearly, not to mention what it would do to his Mom, the light of his life. Just my opinion.

I think it was intentional but unintentional too. Since he left the suicide note, I think he really meant to do it. But since he was doing the pills, I think that caused his judgement to be cloudy & bad & the pills made him not think right & make the error of deciding to end his life. So sad...

It's sad but, although he loved his Mom and son I feel he didn't know how to express the anger he had within himself. He wanted to punish people who had hurt him along the way. He punished Kathy by dying on her birthday. He punished his ex for breaking up with him. He punished his ex manager for suing him. The list goes on.

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[This message has been edited by Peko (edited 07-20-2001).]

I heard that too Peko, I wonder why ? I know I am very curious to know what it said.
Here's a thought,maybe it was a personal side note for his son or mother.