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Originally posted by udflyers4ever
OK, I have this friend whom I believe has an unhealthy obsession with a teacher. Tell me what you think:

-She sits in this teacher's classroom every single morning for half an hour before school even if the teacher is not in there.
-We can't have a conversation without this teacher's name coming up.
-She once told me that she wishes she could spend "all day, every day" with this teacher.
-The teacher teaches Spanish, and my friend has become obsessed with speaking Spanish, teaching her whole family Spanish, and being a Spanish teacher. She also wants to teach exactly the same way as this teacher.
-Her email address is a nickname this teacher calls her.
-She wasn't interested in religion until she met this teacher, and she suddenly started being a Christian and going to church with this teacher.
-She knows everyone in this teacher's family, and vice versa.
-Her cat is named after this teacher (that was actually her brother's doing, but still...)
-She has been known to teach this teacher's class when this teacher is sick.
-She goes crazy when anyone says anything bad about this teacher.
-She has been accused by the principal of stalking this teacher.

All of this is true, I swear. Does anyone think my friend seriously needs psychological help?
Ummm..... Talk to xmsconnanobrienx AKA Crystal... lol... im not laughing at u... u need to ask her......

Originally posted by udflyers4ever
All of this is true, I swear. Does anyone think my friend seriously needs psychological help?

um..ok. I think ur friend has gone a bit overboard. I think its okay that someone has that kind of an influence on ur friend. And ur friend probably sees this teacher as a role model but some of the things you mentioned are a bit obsessive. Um...I'm not trying to be mean or anything but I was cracking up while i was reading that because...well I have a Spanish teacher that I talk to a lot and stuff and she's a person that i look up to and some of that stuff u said i do...and it was kinda crazy. But i think its okay for ur friend to talk to the teacher and stuff like that. but i'm not sure if its a good idea for ur friend to have a relationship w/ the teacher outside of school (ex: going to church w/ the teacher). I mean, if ur freind's parents give consent then maybe its okay. But i dunno.

Wow. I'm not very good at giving advice...but you could try to introduce her to something new (like a hobby or something) that might give her something more to talk about and to concentrate on. I know...crappy advice...I really stink at this...I mean, it's good your friend likes the teacher, but as Tara said, she's gone REALLY overboard. This is practically worse than all the Nancy fanatics...

OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG!!!!!!! THAT IS FUHH-REAKY Gohs, thast worse than the Nancy fanatics

Originally posted by Montana Ponine
as Tara said, she's gone REALLY overboard.

yeah. mmk...lemme give u an example: w/ me and my spanish teacher....we talk everyday after school. I've known her for two years. We were close two years ago when I had her in 8th grade. I didnt see her for a year (9th grade) and now shes my teacher again. We talk and stuff. She talks to me about her family and just random stuff. i talk to her about my family and random stuff. i would like to be a Spanish teacher one day cuz i think i'd be good at it. My teacher has had a very positive influence on me and I enjoy talkin to her. My mom even likes her. I help her w/ the class sumtimes cuz she cant do everything at once. That i think is okay. We're just close.

Ur friend tho...to sit in the teachers class room even when the teacher isnt there is obsessive and strange. um...going to church w/ the teacher is also a bit weird to me. i guess its because i dont think I'd ever do that, i dunno. I dont think theres anything wrong w/ ur friend wanting to be a Spanish teacher tho because it just shows that the teacher has had sn influence on ur friend. Ur friend has chosen a career path and it may lead to better things and i think thats good. Um..naming ur cat after the teacher...thats going way overboard. Teaching the class when the teacher is sick isnt bad either. Shes actually preparing herself for her career if thats what she really wants to do. I would do it if my teacher asked me to. And getting mad when someone says sumthin bad about the teacher isnt too bad. I can understand defending the teacher but if ur friend is willing to fight and argue w/ someone because they said sumthin bad then thats a little overboard as well...


yeah i'm done for now

It sounds kind of like a crush to me. Your friend must be trying to impress this teacher and by doing similar stuff as the teacher does, maybe that makes your friend think that the teacher will like your friend even more. It does sound a tad bit unhealthy to me. Crushes can be unhealthy at times. You like somebody and then you see them hanging out with a girlfriend and it just crushes you completely. Maybe you should go to this teacher confidentialy and explain to him/her what's going on. Explain that you are very concerned about your friend and how she is acting. Maybe the teacher can explain to your friend that they will never have that sort of relationship. If they have a significant age difference, maybe the teacher could explain that too.

Seriously, I don't think you should handle it. It sounds like the only person that will be able to clear this up is the teacher. If your friend is that obsessed with the teacher and you do the explaining about how you are worried about her, it might bust up the friendship.

I know it's kind of regular to have at least one crush on one of your teachers. You could've had a crush on your 2nd grade teacher or whatever, but you always get over it right? If you do decided to intervene and decide to say something to your friend, you could try something like this: *I'm gonna call your friend Jenna just as an example*

Jenna, Can I ask you something? I've noticed you've been acting a little different lately. You're really acting different when you talk about *insert teacher's name*. I'm just worried about you and you know I'm here if you ever need to talk. (Then talk about one of your past teacher crushes, it might help to tell a little about your past to your friend.) Oh my God, do you know what I was doing the other night? I got out some old yearbooks and I came across Mr. Johnson's pic. Do you remember him? I had such a big crush on him. It kind of makes me laugh now when I think about him. I can't believe I had a crush on him! What on earth was I thinking? My friends kept telling me and telling me that I'm so gonna get over him. I would always roll my eyes whenever they said that. Looking back now, I think Mr. Johnson was kind of on the nerdy side. *laughs* Hey, I was young. What more could I say?

You could say something like that if you think 'Jenna' has a crush on the teacher.

Originally posted by ¤CHeeR BeAR143¤

Ummm..... Talk to xmsconnanobrienx AKA Crystal... lol... im not laughing at u... u need to ask her......
Haha. Yes, I too have had the experience of having a *major* crush on a teacher. However, I never did any of those things. Ya..its a crush and she looks up to him, but it sounds like he doesnt have a problem..otherwise hed say something. May I ask how old she is? If shes like, really young...thats just gross.

Originally posted by udflyers4ever
-She has been accused by the principal of stalking this teacher.


.................hahahaha. Wtf??? When I first read this, I thought it was one of those.....you know.....joke things. And then every1 replied and was really serious......and maybe I'm going to sound nosy, but since you voluntarily gave us all this info, it probably shouldn't matter too much. Anywayz, what uh....happened that made ur friend look like a stalker? and uh...what did she say lol when she was lol confronted aboot it? lol

Oh yes, and uh...YOU aren't "your friend", right? heh

Um, that's really weird. ugh

Ummm.... no good advice from Kaitlyn's side of the board. *runs and hides before Mr. Riemer accuses me of stalking as well*

Just a question... does your friend have the teachers phone number and stuff? If so, is is memorised?

...dang. Ask her why shes obsessed w/ the teacher.

thats odd...

Wow....that's weird. You need to do something.... what if this teacher ever died? What would she do, kill herself?

Being obsessed with someone like a teacher isn't good. It could lead to stalking. And ya know what? It personally bugs the hell out of me when they talk about them in like, every post. Or convo, or whatever... unless you have a highly good reason for it.

I'd talk to the teacher first. The priniciple seems like a jerk to me to accuse your friend of such. I'm sure there was a much nicer way he could have put it. I would have slapped the principle if I were your friend for not necessarily the accusations, but the insinuations.

I don't see anything TOO strange with your friend's behaviour, except maybe the church thing. I have teachers I talk to a lot about things that do not pertain to school. I've also hung around after school and talked with teachers. I stayed one afternoon and talked to a teacher for two hours. Why I don't know, but I didn't exactly find it strange. Of course some of my friends might have, but I didn't see anything wrong with it.

I dunno...

This is just a strange topic I'll be thinking about for a while now.







ks

Originally posted by udflyers4ever
Should I talk to the teacher first, or the principal?

I think you should talk to the teacher first just to let them know that you are concerned about your friend. Maybe then the teacher could talk to your friend about the situation. Your friend will most likely listen to the teacher because she is so comfortable with them. If your friend approaches you and asks why you said anything to the teacher, just tell your friend that you were concerned. Just try to be a caring, good friend. Hopefully, your friend will understand.

*trembling* And this friend KNOWS all of this stuff has happened, and you aren't just using Spanish as a cover? Cos like if this whole thing with the principle is behind her back then.... *shuts eyes and prays*

Originally posted by ks
I have teachers I talk to a lot about things that do not pertain to school. I've also hung around after school and talked with teachers. I stayed one afternoon and talked to a teacher for two hours.

Yeah. I mean, I am extremely close to 2 people in my school. I am always talking to them about things other than school because well, I trust them. Yes, I've hung around before/after school to talk to them. I've also gone to school in the summer to help them out with things. But I mean, it's not like I've ever been over their houses or anything.... and I'm in no way, shape or form obsessed with them. I really think your friend though needs to be helped somewhat-

Originally posted by udflyers4ever
I kind of feel embarrassed.

Dont' be. You thought you were helping both the student and the teacher, and by my standards you still were trying.... I still find that kind of...odd, but now that you said she's got problems at home, life etc, that makes more sense. I've been there hundreds of times with my teachers....

She needs some real help....that's all I can say!