Sam Jones: "Somebody once said that the perfect bridegroom at a wedding should be like the the garlic in a spaghetti sauce: Present, but not noticeable."

Andy Taylor: "This has been a great evening, and I appreciate it."

Sam: "Well, Florida ought to be real nice this time of year."

Minister: "I now pronounce you man and wife."

Aunt Bee; "Ohhh, it was such a wonderful wedding, just wonderful."

Sam: "Except for Barney. Did you see him try to find that ring?"

Sam: "Well, I'd say the whole wedding worked out just great. Andy got Helen, and Mike and I got Aunt Bee."

Mike Jones: [Looking at a mounted fish on the wall] Hey Goober, where did you catch this fish?
Goober Pyle: Ain't that a beauty. I didn't really catch it. I saw it floating dead in the inlet. It looked so peaceful I decided to mount it.
Mike Jones: [Turns to Sam] Hey Pa, can we go down to the inlet and see if there are any more dead fish floating around there?
Sam Jones: No.