View Full Version : Ralph Kramden, a NY MLB fan? (Part 1)


Frank Gannucci
09-30-2025, 09:22 PM
(The Boston Red Sox beat the NY Yankees 3-1.)

(Ralph walks into Ed’s apartment.)

Ralph: “Hey Norton!”

Ed: “I’m sure you saw the disappointing Yankee game Ralph.”

Ralph: “Yes I did. They blew a one run game. Also, they had the bases loaded in the ninth and they still lost.”

(Ed blows his nose out of sadness.)

Ed: “Now, they have to win two more games including one in Boston.”

Ralph: “You got that right. I also had to pass that loudmouth Garrity in the hall who rubbed it in my face that the Yankees lost.”

Ed: “What about the other times you rubbed it in his face when the Yankees won?”

Ralph; “Don’t change the subject.”

Ed: “There’s always next year Ralph and the year after.”

Ralph: “You’re right.”

Ed: “The Yankees may even break the sports record of having the longest world championship drought by winning their next title in 2118.”

Ralph (standing up, yells): “OK NORTON! PUT ‘EM UP! LETS GO!”

(Ed runs away from Ralph.)

(Jackie walks on stage. Crowd cheers.)

Jackie: “Thank you.” (yells): “GOOD NIGHT!”

(Crowd cheers.)

Frank Gannucci
10-01-2025, 09:15 PM
Ralph Kramden, a NY MLB fan? (Part 2) (The NY Yankees beat the Boston Red Sox 4-3.)

(The girls are outside Yankee Stadium.)

Alice: “Boy how embarrassing.”

Trixie: “The way our boys reacted when the Yankees won. You think the Yankees win the World Series.”

Alice: “The way he rubbed it in the few Red Sox fans faces when they won. I would hate to see how they would react if the Yankees won the ALCS at Fenway Park.”

Trixie: “I don’t think I wanna imagine.”

(The boys come down.)

Ralph: “Boy what a game Norton.”

Ed: “The Yankees really showed the Red Sox who is the boss. I can’t wait until tomorrow night.”

Ralph: “Me neither. That next round is ours.”

Alice: “Ralph, I would hate to see how you two would react if this was game 7 of the World Series, the Red Sox were in the National League and the Red Sox still hadn’t won a World Series since 1918 and you caused the Yankees to win at Fenway. With your behavior, you wouldn’t survive.”

Ralph: “What are you talking about? I would survive the whole bunch of Red Sox fans.”

Ed: “Yes, those Red Sox fans wouldn’t dare fight a huge elephant.”

Ralph (yells): “GET OUT! GET OUT!”

(Ed leaves.)

(Jackie walks on stage. Crowd cheers.)

Jackie: “The Miami Beach crowds are the BEST! GOOD NIGHT!”

(Crowd cheers.)

Frank Gannucci
10-02-2025, 10:43 PM
Ralph Kramden, a NY MLB fan (Part 3) (The NY Yankees won the AL Wild Card, 2 games to 1, by beating the Boston Red Sox 4-0.)

(Ralph is sitting at the Kramden kitchen table. Ed comes down.)

Ed: “Did you watch the game Ralph?”

Ralph: “I certainly did. The next round, the AL Divisional Playoff round would be interesting with Toronto in it. They will lose.”

Ed: “What a rocking regular season the Yankees had.”

Ralph: “I agree. They eventually will win another World Series championship.”

(Ralph goes to the window and sticks his head out.)

Ralph (yells): “GARRITY, THE YANKEES WILL WIN ANOTHER TITLE SOON OR MY NAME IS MUD.”

All (yell): “HELLO MUD KRAMDEN!”

(Ed laughs.)

Ralph (to Ed, yells): “GET OUT! GEEEEET OUT!”

(Ed leaves.)

(Jackie walks on stage. Crowd cheers.)

Jackie: “Thank you. GOOD NIGHT!”

(Crowd cheers.)

Frank Gannucci
10-04-2025, 08:12 PM
Ralph Kramden, a NY MLB fan (Part 4) (The Toronto Blue Jays beat the NY Yankees 10-1.)

(Ralph and Ed exited Fascination Bar & Grill.)

Ralph: “What a lousy game Norton.”

Ed: “9 run deficit. That wasn’t a blitz. That was a BLOUTZ.”

Ralph: “You got that right. I just hope that the Yankees come back.”

Ed: “It’s still a one game lead.”

Ralph: “You got that right Norton.”

Ed: “We should attend tomorrow’s game in Toronto. I heard that the Rogers Centre has a hotel attached to it. We can watch the game by looking out our windows.”

Ralph: “That is real cool.”

Ed: “The stadium also must have a lot of food joints that I know you will eat all day.”

Ralph: “Boy, you’re a riot Norton. A real riot.”

Ed: “Especially when the Yankees win.”

Ralph: “That’s right.”

Ed: “If the Yankees lose, the vomit out of your mouth will be bigger than the Atlantic Ocean.”

Ralph (yells): “COME ON ED. PUT ‘EM UP!”

(Ralph chases after Ed.)

(Jackie walks on stage. Crowd cheers.)

Jackie: “Thank you. GOOD NIGHT!”

(Crowd cheers.)

Frank Gannucci
10-05-2025, 07:28 PM
Ralph Kramden, a NY MLB fan? (Part 5) (The Toronto Blue Jays beat the NY Yankees 13-7.)

(Ralph is pacing back and forth.)

Alice: “Ralph, stop pacing. I know that the Yankees lost but you have to look at the bright side. They still have a chance after they got slaughtered.”

Ralph: “Don’t remind me Alice. The Yankees got overmatched. I can’t stand another season where a NY team isn’t a champion.”

Alice: “How spoiled can you be Ralph. The NY teams own more world titles than you have pounds in your body.”

Ralph: “Oh, you are a riot Alice. A regular riot.”

(Ed comes down.)

Ed: “Ralph, it has been a dark, dark day. The Yankees lost to the Blue Jays again.”

Ralph: “Don’t remind me.”

Ed: “We are so spoiled. We shouldn’t be mad. The NY teams have more world titles than you have pounds in your body.”

Ralph (yells): “GET OUT! GEEEEET OUT!

(Jackie walks on stage. Crowd cheers.)

Jackie: “Thank you. Have a good night.”

(Crowd cheers.)

Frank Gannucci
10-07-2025, 11:56 PM
Ralph Kramden, a NY MLB fan (Part 6) (The NY Yankees beat the Toronto Blue Jays 9-6.)

(Ralph wakes up the next morning. It’s 5a.)

Ralph: “What a lousy night Alice. The Yankees lost im sure.”

Alice: “They won Ralph. You fell asleep while watching the game.”

Ralph (yells): “WHAT? BOY WHAT A LIFE. THE YANKEES WON!”

(Ralph goes to the window and sticks his head out.)

Ralph (yells): “UP YOURS GARRITY! THE YANKEES WON! NORTON, THE YANKEES WON!”

Ed (from upstairs, yells): “WHAT A GAME RALPH-IE BOY!”

(Ralph goes to get his lunch box, kisses Alice and leaves spreading the news.)

(At 5p, when he comes home from work, he is sporting a black eye. Ed is with him.)

Alice: “Ralph, what happened?”

Ed: “Ralph, was spreading the news all over the building at 5a and well…”

Ralph (yells): “I’VE GOT A BIIIIG MOUTH!”

(Jackie walks on stage. Crowd cheers.)

Jackie: “Thank you. GOOD NIGHT!”

(Crowd cheers.)

Frank Gannucci
10-08-2025, 11:59 PM
Ralph Kramden,a NY MLB fan? (Part 8) (The Toronto Blue Jays won the ALDS,3 games to 1, by beating the NY Yankees 5-2.)

(Ralph is moping in the kitchen.)

Ralph (to himself): “How could the Yankees do this? They lost to the Blue Jays. They haven’t won a World Series title since 2009.”

(Ed comes down and blows his nose out of sadness.)

Ed: “Whaddaya say Ralph? The Yankees lost. It was a dark,dark day.”

Ralph: “I agree Norton. Now, the Blue Jays advanced. At least it ain’t the Red Sox.”

Ed: “You got that right Ralph. The Yankees haven’t won a World Series title since 2009. Now, dont fret Ralph. You got to smile. There’s always next year Ralph.”

(Ralph smiles.)

Ed: “Good, I want to see you like that. Even if the Yankees break the Cubs record drought at 108 years. Even if they never do win a world title. You got to smile. Smile.”

Ralph (yells): “GET OUT! GEEEEEEEEEEET OUT! GET OUT!”

(Ed leaves.)

Ralph (to himself): “Somewhere, there is a straight jacket waiting for him.”

(Jackie walks on stage. Crowd cheers.)

Jackie: “Thank you. GOOD NIGHT!”

(Crowd cheers.)