Frank Gannucci
07-01-2025, 09:55 AM
A I Love Lucy July 4th:
(Ricky & Lucy come out of the kitchen arguing.)
Ricky: “Nothing doing.”
Lucy: “Ricky, why can’t I be on the parade float with you on the July 4th parade and fire off your fireworks and your cannon crackers?”
Ricky: “Because I want them to land in the sky. Not on my car.”
Lucy: “Ricky, I’m not gonna fire any illegal fireworks and illegal cannon crackers.”
Ricky: “It doesn’t matter. You can not be in my show.”
(The Mertzes come in.)
Fred: “Hey kids.”
Lucy: “You two are just in time to settle an argument. Ricky won’t let me be in his show to set off his fireworks and cannon crackers.”
Fred (sarcastically): “I am shocked.”
(Ricky laughs.)
Lucy: “Oh you two. Come on Ethel, I don’t like the atmosphere around here.”
(They go into the kitchen.)
Lucy: “Oh Ethel, I just got to be in tgat show. I’ll bribe the person shooting off the fireworks and cannon crackers. How much money did Fred give you?”
(A pause.)
Ethel: “Nuttin’.”
Lucy: “I got some money. This is gonna be my big break.”
(The night of July 4th, Lucy is on the parade float with Ricky. The parade is at night. She has drank a lot of beer.)
(Meanwhile, the Mertzes are with Ricky Jr. They are watching front and center at the parade in NYC. Fred whistles.)
Ethel: “Who are you whistling at?”
Fred: “Kelly Clarkson.”
Ethel: “Oh you.”
(Ricky’s float is at the center.)
Ricky: “Thanks ladies and gentlemen. Even though I am from Cuba, I am PROUD to be in the USA since I was 15 years old…which you know was decades ago.”
(People laugh.)
Ricky: “Time for my substitute assistant to fire the fireworks and cannon crackers.”
(Lucy because she is drunk misfires and destroys Ricky’s car and a cop car. Ricky’s eyes are bulging out. He sees that his assistant is Lucy in disguise. The cop comes by. Ricky & the cop are really in Lucy’s face and they are MAD. Lucy sees this.)
Lucy: “Ewwww.”
(Ricky & Lucy come out of the kitchen arguing.)
Ricky: “Nothing doing.”
Lucy: “Ricky, why can’t I be on the parade float with you on the July 4th parade and fire off your fireworks and your cannon crackers?”
Ricky: “Because I want them to land in the sky. Not on my car.”
Lucy: “Ricky, I’m not gonna fire any illegal fireworks and illegal cannon crackers.”
Ricky: “It doesn’t matter. You can not be in my show.”
(The Mertzes come in.)
Fred: “Hey kids.”
Lucy: “You two are just in time to settle an argument. Ricky won’t let me be in his show to set off his fireworks and cannon crackers.”
Fred (sarcastically): “I am shocked.”
(Ricky laughs.)
Lucy: “Oh you two. Come on Ethel, I don’t like the atmosphere around here.”
(They go into the kitchen.)
Lucy: “Oh Ethel, I just got to be in tgat show. I’ll bribe the person shooting off the fireworks and cannon crackers. How much money did Fred give you?”
(A pause.)
Ethel: “Nuttin’.”
Lucy: “I got some money. This is gonna be my big break.”
(The night of July 4th, Lucy is on the parade float with Ricky. The parade is at night. She has drank a lot of beer.)
(Meanwhile, the Mertzes are with Ricky Jr. They are watching front and center at the parade in NYC. Fred whistles.)
Ethel: “Who are you whistling at?”
Fred: “Kelly Clarkson.”
Ethel: “Oh you.”
(Ricky’s float is at the center.)
Ricky: “Thanks ladies and gentlemen. Even though I am from Cuba, I am PROUD to be in the USA since I was 15 years old…which you know was decades ago.”
(People laugh.)
Ricky: “Time for my substitute assistant to fire the fireworks and cannon crackers.”
(Lucy because she is drunk misfires and destroys Ricky’s car and a cop car. Ricky’s eyes are bulging out. He sees that his assistant is Lucy in disguise. The cop comes by. Ricky & the cop are really in Lucy’s face and they are MAD. Lucy sees this.)
Lucy: “Ewwww.”